“Do you want me to make you breakfast or something?” I asked him.
“Something is right. I haven’t got any food at all. I hardly eat here”.
“That I can see” I said looking around.
“What do you mean?”
“This place is spotless. Unlived in. Where do you actually live?”
“no, I do actually live here. Go and look in my bedroom and you will see. It is just that I get up, go to the gym which is downstairs incidentally. I have a swim, go to work. Work late, go out or come home and go to bed”.
“Oh. My flat is not like this at all. I LOOOOVE my flat but you won’t like it”.
“Why?” he asked. “Can I get into it?”
“Oh yes” I smiled. “You can definitely get it. It is an art deco block with the old type of lift with glass doors. The management try to modernise them every year but all the residents veto it”.
“Do you own it?” he asked. “I do” I said proudly. I must be the youngest resident. All the rest have been there since it was built in 1932. There are four blocks built around a green and in the evenings all the old ladies sit on deck chairs talking and gossiping.”
“It sound “wonderful” but why wouldn’t I like it?” he asked quizzically.
“It is cluttered with my books, things, whatever you want to find, you can on all the shelves. Your home is immaculately tidy, uncluttered. Are you trying to sell it or something? This must be an estate agent’s dream?”
“No I’m not trying to sell it. Go and look in the bedroom and you will see. It is very large for one person. I hardly use this room. It was nice to finally snuggle up on the sofa”.
I nodded. I was nice. “What about coffee? Do you have any coffee, you have an amazing Gaggia machine. Do you have an Espresso at all?”
He looked at me blankly. “I tell you what, let me go to the gym and I will take you home and out for breakfast and shall we go shopping for coffee and whatever you would like to drink?” I nodded happily as I followed him down to the gym.
We went in the lift down to the basement. The basement was a gym with a large heated pool at the side behind glass doors. “Can you use the same equipment as everyone else?” I tried to ask him tactfully.
“No. The things I use are for me and for me only. I had to buy them. As you are here can you help me?” I nodded.
“I want to lift these weights but I need you to hold down my legs? Is that okay?” he looked at me trying I think to gauge if I had a problem with this. “Of course not” I told him.
He lied down on the ground and straightened out his legs. “Shall I hold them or sit on them?” I asked. “Let’s see” he said and started to lift. I found myself twirling the hairs on his legs and massaging the lifeless muscles that were dwindling in his lower legs. I saw him looking and without thinking I bent down and kissed his upper left thigh.
He put down the weights and pulled himself up and kissed me. I sat on his lap and wrapped my legs around his waist. I could feel the magnetism between us pulling us away and then moving us closer and closer and closer. I was falling in love with him. I could feel it. It had happened to me this quickly before but that was then this is now.
I pulled my mouth away from his as someone else opened the door of the gym and walked through to go in the pool. I put my arms around his wide muscular waist and put my head on his chest and I felt his head bending down and kissing my hair.
He lifted up my chin and looked into my eyes. “I’m falling in love with you. Do you think that ..., I mean is this going ...”
I hugged him closer and looked up at him. “Daniel, I just don’t want any of this to end. I can’t see it as a problem. I can see it is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me.”
“Come up with me, I’ll have a shower and I’ll take you home for a while and then we’ll go out”. I nodded. “Can I come in the shower with you?” I asked tentatively.
He paused. “But I don’t want to spoil anything”. It’s not that easy”.
“I told you from the beginning, if I can’t deal with stuff, then I’m not worth having come on. I want to feel you, I want to touch you, please” I half begged.
The truth was, well, I didn’t usually just jump into bed with anyone; I hadn’t slept with anyone for years for starters, certainly not casually. I was always in a relationship when I had sex but this time I just wanted to get that bit over with. Find out whether it was going to be good, whether it was going to be possible. I was certain the way I felt that it would be okay but from Dan’s side, he probably felt that he had to prove himself. He probably felt that he may fail. It would be much worse for him.
“Look” I said stroking his face “I just want to be with you. We don’t have to do anything. Let me just” I stopped and looked at this face “Oh Dan, I know it must be hard for you but the truth is ...”
“Do you want to get this bit over and done with so that you know whether you want to carry on?”
“No, I want to carry on” I nearly cried “I do. I think it will be great but I just want to make sure and then, well, it will be great. You will see. I LOVE YOU DAN. Already I can tell that I LOVE YOU. It is going to be great I LOVE YOU. I can’t believe I am saying those words again after years and years.”
He held me in his arms and kissed me. He then transferred back to his chair and I sat on his lap cuddling him as we made our way back to his flat.
He wheeled me into his bedroom and I sat on the bed whilst he went to the bathroom. Now I could see the real Dan. This room was a mess. An overflowing laundry basket. A few bits of clothing on the floor, surfaces covered with aftershave all with the tops off discarded. A few photos, nothing with dust on, nothing dirty apart from the laundry. “He must have a cleaner that comes in once or twice a week. He probably doesn’t tidy himself at all.”
“Daniel” I called into him. I found myself calling Daniel when I had a complaint. “Do you have a washing machine?”
“Yes” he replied “in the kitchen. Why?”
“Don’t you ever use it?”
“Oh the cleaner does it. She comes twice a week”.
“Your basket is overflowing. Do you want me to put a load on now? You must be running out of clothes.”
“If you want to” he called and then added “thank you” as an added extra.
I found myself gathering up his washing and taking it into the kitchen. I looked around for washing powder and of course found it in a cupboard low down for him to reach it. As I placed his clothes in the wash I sniffed his after shave and found me inhaling one of his shirts. “Yes” I thought I definitely love this man to be sniffing is dirty clothes.
I walked back into the bedroom and he was naked in his chair except for a towel which he placed on his lap.
“Are you coming then, if you still want to?” he said looking at me half pleadingly. I silently began to remove my clothes and then climbed on his lap and let our naked skin brush against each other. He kissed me again and then said “I want everything to be perfect and it isn’t going to be”.
“Nothing, absolutely nothing is perfect Dan. Life is not perfect but it is perfect how we met and how we like, no love each other already, don’t worry. Everything is going to be fine”.
We went into his bathroom which was a large flat room with no bath. The walls were decorated with large white tiles with a border of divine small green and blue mosaics. The room was more or less a wet room with a shower in the middle and right underneath the strongest jet was a chair. “I have to use that” he said pointing to the chair. I nodded and got off his lap to enable him to get in the chair.
He said down and pressed a button and the water started shooting in all directions. I climbed on his lap and as the water started to fall on long rivulets over our bodies we started to kiss.