Time seemed to move incredibly fast after Jane's
confession to me. Nothing more happened physically between the two of us
beyond a lot of meaningful looks, but rehab was definitely a lot more pleasant.
Sooner than I would have liked, my discharge date
was approaching. I was going home tomorrow. I would be leaving the
sheltered world of the rehabilitation hospital for the real world. I was
pretty nervous about it, but at the same time, I was glad to be getting out of
here. I was ready to be a real person again.
Mason came by to hang out with me, since we weren't
doing all that much therapy anymore. We got tired of talking, so Mason
swiped a candy bowl from the nurse's station and put it on my lap. He sat
across the room from me, crumbling up little balls of paper and attempting to
toss them in the candy bowl, usually banking them off my chest. He was
actually pretty terrible at it, which was amazing considering Mason was the
quintessential athlete. He must have been getting soft with all this
studying law.
"So," Mason said, as he tore large square
of paper and started balling it up. "You got any plans for your
first week home?"
"Not really," I said.
"Excellent," he said. "Then
you can come with me to a pre-law party I got invited to."
My stomach clenched up at the thought of going to a
party. What would that be like now? For sure, I'd be the only
person in a wheelchair and definitely the only quadriplegic. Would people
even talk to me? It didn't sound very fun.
"That's all right," I said.
"Why would I want to hang out with a bunch of loser wannabe lawyers
anyway?"
Mason threw the paper and it hit me dangerously
close to my face. I had a feeling that wasn't an accident.
"That doesn't sound like the Nick Edwards I know," he said.
"You always said there's no girl who's too unimportant to fuck,
right?"
I managed a crooked smile. I didn't know how
much Mason knew the details of my unsuccessful attempt to fuck Savannah.
"Well, maybe I was wrong," I said.
"Come on, Nick," he whined.
"It'll be fun. You want to get back out there, right?"
Did I? Some part of me did, I guess.
But some part of me believed it wasn't possible. "How would I
even get there?" I asked. "No fucking way my wheelchair will
fit in your dinky car."
Mason thought for a minute. "I could
borrow your parents' van. Or they could drop you off."
The thought of arriving to a party in my
cripple-mobile or worse, getting dropped off by my parents like I was eight
years old, was too mortifying for words. "I don't know," I
mumbled.
"For fuck's sake, Nick," Mason groaned.
"Just get over yourself. I've been going to parties for like a
year all by myself or with the douchy friends I have left, and I'm sick of it.
You're coming to this party. How the fuck am I supposed to hit on
girls without my wingman?"
"Aren't you engaged to Ramona?"
Mason frowned. "Oh yeah. Okay,
fine. How are you supposed to
hit on girls without your wingman?"
"I'll think about it," I said, knowing
full well that Mason wasn't going to let up until I agreed to go to this party.
He was pretty persistent when he wanted something.
At this point, Jane came into the room and
witnessed Mason throwing a piece of paper that hit me square on the chin.
She saw the candy bowl and our little game of lapketball, and she looked
horrified. "Mason!" she cried. "What are you doing
to him?"
"It was his idea," Mason said quickly,
looking very guilty.
Jane punched her fists into her hips and faced me.
Her scrub top was just a little too big and I could see a bit of her bra
strap and it was just so hot. "Is that true, Nick?"
"Well, he didn't want to throw the paper in my
mouth so this was our only option," I said, shrugging.
Jane shook her head as she yanked the bowl off my
lap. She rested her hand on my shoulder for a minute, and I got this
good, warm feeling in the parts of my body I could feel. "You behave
yourself, Nick," she said.
I watched Jane's ass as she marched out of the
room. I don't know how she managed to make those shapeless scrubs look so
fucking sexy. When I turned back to Mason, his jaw was hanging open.
"You're fucking her!" he hissed.
"No, I'm not," I insisted. My face
felt hot.
"You are!" he cried, a grin spreading
across his face. "You're all red! I can't believe it!"
"Shut the fuck up," I said, glancing at
the nursing station. "You're going to get her in trouble.
Anyway, I'm not fucking her. We're just... we kissed. One
time."
Mason leaned back in his chair, looking impressed.
"Holy shit," he said.
"I know."
He shook his head. "I asked her out, you
know. A long time ago, back when you first got here. Before
Ramona."
I felt a twinge of jealousy. "What did
she say?"
"She said yes. We're getting married
next week." Mason rolled his eyes. "What do you think she
said? She said no. Said I wasn't her type."
I felt pleased with myself. I couldn't help
it. Even though I was a quadriplegic, I managed to get a girl that Mason
couldn't get. It was kind of amazing.
"So are you two dating then?" Mason
asked.
I shook my head. "No. She told me
that I needed to wait a year to adjust to my disability at home, then we could
start dating." I smiled. "She said she'd wait for me."
"No wonder you don't want to go to my lameass
pre-law party," Mason mused.
"So does that mean I'm off the hook?"
"Fuck no," Mason said. "I'll
pick you up eight o'clock next Friday night. Be ready on time.
Remember, just because you're crippled, that doesn't mean I won't still
kick your ass, Edwards."
Mason had never kicked my ass in all the years I'd
known him. But I had no doubt he'd do everything in his power to get me
to go to this stupid party. It was good to have friends.
******************
I was going home today.
You know that dumb saying: today is the first day of the rest of your
life. Well, it kind of felt that
way. It felt like I was starting over as
someone completely new, a brand new life.
And not necessarily in a good way.
Suffice to say, it was a rough day. Mary thought it would be a good idea for my
mother to get me out of bed, and of course, that was a big fail. She wasn’t terrible at it, but she was still
fumbling a lot with the Hoyer lift. Mary
kept yelling at me, “Direct your care, Nick!
Tell her what to do!” And I
tried, I really did. But my mother is
just dumb. Or else she just doesn’t
listen.
In any case, I was very relieved when I was safely strapped
into my wheelchair. The chair I was in
now was my chair. It had been made custom for me, and it would
be the chair I’d been using all the time for many years to come. It was a sip and puff, and I’d traded larger
wheels for more maneuverability. I
preferred being able to get around my own home easily or indoors places, rather
than any kind of rough terrain.
I have to admit, I liked the wheelchair a lot. It moved much smoother than the loaner chair
I’d been using. I had also spent an
embarrassing amount of time on the web, looking at different wheelchairs. Right now, my only other wheelchair was a
manual chair that was just for emergencies, but my goal was to design a cool new
custom wheelchair for myself. I’d been
thinking about different features I wanted, and I was hoping to convince my
parents to let me find someone to make it for me.
There were even a few moments when I convinced myself that I
didn’t look too bad in my wheelchair. Of
course, that delusion always got ruined every time I came across a mirror.
Mary and my mother worked together to pack up all my
remaining stuff, like equipment and clothes, into plastic bags, which they
placed on my bed. I just sat there and
watched, because what else could I do? I
was also given a list of doctor’s appointments for after I went home. Or should I say, the list was given to my
mother. It was a fucking long list. Especially considering before this happened
to me, I went to the doctor about once every few years. Mostly for STDs.
And then we were given a bunch of prescriptions for all my
medications. I was on a whole bunch of
pills, about half of which were for my bowels.
The only good thing was there was a pretty strong pain medication on the
list, the kind that would have cost me a fortune to score before my
injury. Back in the old days, I knew
guys who actually used to fake disabilities to get pain meds. Lucky me, I didn’t have to fake it.
“We’re really going to miss you, Nicky,” Mary said to me,
her eyes getting a little teary.
“I’ll miss you too,” I said.
And I meant it. I’d really gotten
to like this place. More importantly, I
felt comfortable here. I had no idea
what the real world was going to be like for me with a severe disability.
“Come visit us,” Mary said.
I nodded, knowing I probably never would. “Where are Cam and Jane?”
Asking about Cam was a decoy. Not that I didn’t want to say goodbye to Cam,
but Jane was the one I really wanted to see.
“Cam will be here in a minute,” Mary said. “Jane’s off today though. She worked over the weekend, so this is her
comp day.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. How could Jane not be here on my last
day? She knew I was leaving today! Was this her way to somehow avoid seeing me? The whole thing made me very uneasy, but I
tried to play it down, shrugging and saying, “Oh well.”
“I know you were very close with Jane,” Mary said, although
I’m fairly sure she had no idea how close.
“I bet she’ll give you a call when you get home.”
“Sure,” I said, shrugging again, even though I felt pretty
sad about it.
Cam came out to say goodbye to me, repeating Mary’s words
about how I should come visit. He put
his hand on my shoulder as he looked me straight in the eyes, “You’re going to
do great, Nick. Just remember I told
you.”
Mom stacked two of the bags on my lap, and called for
Godfrey, the servant who drove her here, to come carry the rest. Mrs. Edwards did not carry bags. I hadn’t met Godfrey before, but I had a
feeling I’d get to know him soon. It
seemed like caring for me was going to be a communal effort. It takes a village.
As I wheeled out of the rehab center, something changed in
me. I was no longer a rehab
patient. I was now just another disabled
man.
And I would be for the rest of my life, in all
likelihood. Until the day I died, I’d
have to keep my eye out for those blue handicapped sign. I’d be on the lookout for curbcuts,
elevators, and I wouldn’t go anywhere if it wasn’t in an accessible van. I would, most likely, never take a step on my
own again. I’d probably never be able to
bathe myself, dress myself, or feed myself ever again.
I knew I was struggling.
Part of me desperately wished there was some way I could turn back time
and be my old self again. And part of me
knew that I had to accept myself the way I was, because I would never be my old
self again.
Godfrey opened the back door of the van and lowered the lift
so that I could board. I turned back and
looked at the rehab hospital, whispering a quiet goodbye.
“Nick!”
I lifted my head at the sound of the familiar voice. Jane!
It was fucking Jane!
I saw her racing over to us, wearing jeans and a sweater
rather than her usual scrubs. The jeans
were worn and fit the contours of her thin legs like a comfortable old
glove. Her red hair was loose around her
face and somewhat disheveled. I’d never
seen her in anything but scrubs before and I thought she looked beautiful.
“I caught you!” she said, panting slightly. “I’m so sorry. My fucking alarm didn’t go off.”
“Hello, Jane,” Mom said politely. “I’m so glad you were able to come to say
goodbye.”
“Of course, I came to say goodbye,” Jane said, looking
indignant at the thought that she would have done anything else.
“I’ll give the two of you a minute,” Mom said. “We’ll just load up the bags into the van.”
As Mom and Godfrey fumbled in the back, Jane leaned over me
and put her hand along my jaw. “You
doing okay?” she asked me.
“Better now,” I said.
“Today is going to be the hardest,” Jane said. “But it will get easier every day after
today.”
“It would be easier if I didn’t have to leave you.”
A flash of something that looked like regret passed over
Jane’s face. She glanced at the van,
making sure my mother was occupied, then quickly lowered her lips onto mine. We shared a kiss that practically made my
hair stand on end.
“I love you,” I breathed in her ear.
“I know.” Jane grinned. “I love you too, Nick.”
My mother reappeared and Jane was forced to straighten up and
resume the role of the good therapist. Mom
still had a few questions for Jane, which she answered with the utmost
professionalism, although all I was thinking about was how great her breasts looked
in that sweater.
“You ready, Nicky?” Mom asked me.
I nodded. Jane reached
out and gave my shoulder one last squeeze.
“I’ll see you in a year,” I said to her.
Jane’s fingers lingered on my skin, just before she let go so
that I could get into the van and start my new life. “I’ll be there,” she promised.
THE END
THE END
I'm sad to see it end... but I love the ending. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Aloha!
Aaaaaack! That's it? Yes, sweet and hopeful and romantic and all that good stuff, but I likes my stories tied up with a nice bow! The least you could do is give us an Epilog...you know, one year later, how's Nick, did Jane wait, are they together, has he found something/a job he can do and like????
ReplyDeleteAaaaaack! I want a bow! :D
A really classy ending for a superb story. Thanks so much--I KNOW I am going to miss Nick.
ReplyDeleteSiiiiiigh.
ReplyDeleteI'd love an epilogue of some sort, but this was a lovely, hopeful ending and it would be fine right here :)
Thank you!
Thanks so much, that was simply a superb story.
ReplyDeleteGreat story, I really enjoyed it, thank you!
ReplyDeleteI'm unhappy it's over but loved the ending. Although, I would love an epilogue. Thanks for an amazing story.
ReplyDeleteIt's always lovely to have a mysterious ending... my mind may wander as it pleases... and as always, thank you thank you, we appreciate your writing so much. Gets me through the many wheeler starved days. Plus, I loved Nick as a character, and it's a stretch but I could see this happening IRL.
ReplyDeletePeace out girl.
Wonderful. While I would love to see some Happily Ever After, you really wrapped this up perfectly.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much again for sharing this!
I enjoyed this story as well. I like your writing style and all Nicks internal dialogue seems realistic. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThank you so so much Aloha. I really love this story - amazingly written and great characters. It really is a shame that there are so few quad stories out there, so I love that you are helping to fix this.
ReplyDeleteI am a sucker for romance and I would so so so love you if you could write a sequel with more Nick/Jane - Nick still has a long way to go and there is so much story left to tell!!!
Tina