Monday, August 6, 2012

Hollywood Rehab

Hollywood Rehab

The last thing I remember before I broke my neck is this:

Wandering around some neighborhood around 2AM, very drunk but not so drunk that I blacked out.  It was summer and it was muggy and hot, even though it was two in the morning.  I was wearing shorts and a T-shirt and the sweat was making my clothes stick to me.  Mason was wearing pants and he kept whining about how it was hot and we should go back to his house and get in the pool.  I think I volunteered to drive us, but Savannah told me I was too drunk.

"Shut the fuck up," I remember saying to Savannah.  And she gave me that wounded look that she had perfected over years of manipulating boyfriends.  

She tried to hold my hand, but it was too hot and sticky, and I didn't really want to touch her anymore anyway.  I never understood how a girl could initially seem so perfect looking, then turn out to be so ugly.  That happened to me a lot.  When I first saw her, Savannah looked impossibly beautiful.  She'd been wearing a yellow sundress, not that different from the one she was wearing now (although this one is blue and I hate it when girls wear blue), and her tits seemed so perfectly round and I could see her nipples.  And she had hair that was very blond without being white, and what seemed like a really classically beautiful face.  Also, a great ass.

Then somehow, over the last two months, I just wasn't seeing it anymore.  She went from incredibly sexy to only maybe moderately attractive.  Her face was too long somehow, too angular.  That was probably due to her eating disorder.  And oh yeah, she had crow's feet.  She was only 23, but she already had wrinkles around her eyes.  That girl was going to need a facelift before 28, guaranteed.  And I wasn't going to be the guy footing the bill.

When I wouldn't hold her hand, Savannah grabbed my elbow instead.  This pissed me off.  If I didn't want to hold her hand, why would I want her to do that?  "Can you leave me the fuck alone for a minute?" I snapped at her.

"I just want to be close to you," Savannah whined.

"I'm not in the mood, Helen," I said, because I knew she hated it when people called her Helen, even though that’s her real name.  Savannah is her stage name, ever since she moved to Hollywood from Georgia.

"What's with you lately?" she said.  I could tell if I were any other schmuck, she'd be throwing a full out tantrum now.  But she didn't want to blow it with me, so she was on her best behavior.  Unfortunately, Savannah was really fucking annoying, even on her best behavior.

I didn't bother to answer her question.  I had already decided that tomorrow, I was going to end it with Savannah.  I just didn't want her to mess up my night too badly and ruin my buzz.

I looked far ahead and I saw Mason and Denise had stopped at the fence surrounding a local house.  Mason was scrambling to climb the fence, but he couldn't quite do it.  Denise, his latest vapid blond, was cheering him on.  As we got closer, I could see Mason's beefy face was red and he had a thin sheen of sweat covering his forehead.

"You know, that's private property," I said to him.  "I'm calling the cops."

"Fuck you, Nick," Mason said.  He tried again, but he was just too big a guy.  His center of gravity was too low.  It was pretty funny to watch and I laughed out loud at him.

Mason gave me the finger.  I've known Mason Lunt since we were about five years old and we tell each other to fuck off on a pretty much hourly basis.  That's what best friends do, at least where I come from.  "You think you could do better, Nick?  Be my guest."

I never turned down a challenge.  As I grabbed the top of the fence, Savannah tugged on my arm.  "Nicky, don't," she whined.  "This is someone else's house.  We'll get in trouble.  What if the police come?"

"Yeah, so what?" I retorted, shrugging her off me.  I've been arrested twice.  One call from my father and they let me go without question.  I never even saw the inside of a jail cell.  When your father owns one of the biggest movie production companies in the country, you don’t worry too much about breaking stupid little laws.

The fence had rungs in it that allowed me to get a reasonable foothold.  It wasn’t the easiest thing to do wearing sandals, although I’m pretty agile in sandals, considering I mostly wear nothing else these days.  I managed to scale the fence in under a minute.  My feet landed on the grass of some stranger’s lawn with a resounding thump.  For a second, a sharp pain shot through my ankles, but then it faded. 

I looked around, pleased.  These people, whoever they were, had a kickass pool.  It was lagoon-shaped, and I could see the water sparkling in the moonlight.  Better yet, I didn’t hear any dogs barking, alerting their owners of trespassers.

“Hey, quit jerking off and let us in, fucker,” Mason yelled on the other side of the fence.

I opened the latch holding the fence closed.  Mason and Denise rushed in and immediately start stripping.  I’ve seen Mason naked more times than I’d like to admit, so I’m used to the site of his hairy chest.  He’s about one gene away from being a wild animal.  Denise, on the other hand, was someone I’d never seen naked.  And she had the best body I’d ever seen.  I couldn’t stop staring.

“Do you think Denise is prettier than me?”  Savannah was pouting again.

“Yes,” I said.

Savannah’s eyes welled up with tears.  “How could you say that?”

“I don’t know, maybe you should lose some weight,” I suggested. 

That was kind of an asshole thing for me to say.  I was pretty sure Savannah was already throwing up after meals and she was practically a skeleton.  But really, I was just so fucking sick of her.

“Look,” I said, giving the fence an impatient shake.  “Are you coming in or not?”

“Okay,” Savannah said in a small voice.

Once she was inside, I started stripping.  I’d never been remotely shy about my body and why should I be?  I got blessed by the gene pool.  In spite of the fact that I never exercised, I had a near perfect physique.  I didn’t have bulging muscles, but I was trim and toned without even a trace of body fat.  Meth is great at curbing the appetite.

I looked over at Savannah, who was still wearing her stupid blue sundress.  She was hugging her boobs (fake, I’m 100% positive… she’s a liar on top of everything else).  “Are you getting undressed?” I asked her.

Savannah shook her head.

I wasn’t sure if she wanted me to coax her into the water or something like that, but fuck that.  I pulled my hair out of its ponytail and shook it loose.  I looked over at the pool, where a stark naked Denise was sitting at the edge, dipping her toes into the water.  The water must have been a little bit cold, because I could see Denise’s nipples harden.  That, in turn, was making me harden.  Not that I’d ever really be interested in Mason’s sloppy seconds. 

Mason was watching Denise too.  He noticed me looking, and he winked.  “She gives fantastic head,” he said, grinning.  He said it quietly, although loud enough for Savannah to hear.

“Yeah, what’s that like?” I replied in a voice that was definitely loud enough for Savannah to hear.

I knew I was being an asshole to Savannah, but I had given up on caring.  Really, she deserved it.  She was a crap girlfriend.  If she wasn’t so attractive, there was no way she’d ever get a date.  And her dream of becoming a famous actress was the most ridiculous thing of all.  I watched her going over lines a few times and she was terrible.  The best acting job she could probably hope for would be in a porno movie.

“Is anyone going in the water?” Denise asked, swishing her legs around in the pool.  She had a perfectly shaped triangle of pubic hair, which reminded me of the fact that Savannah didn’t wax nearly as often as she should have.

“Fuck yeah,” I said. 

As the others watched, I took a running start and dove head first into the pool.  The water was, as I expected, freezing.  Considering how hot it was outside, it felt pretty amazing.

And that’s the last thing I remember before I broke my neck.  Aside from Savannah screaming.

To be continued.....

Entire story


  1. Wow, great story só far! Please keep updating!

  2. I'm glad you decided to post your story. I can't wait to read more.

  3. Excellent story. More please.

  4. Great story!!! I'm in love with this already.

  5. I'm so glad you decided to post.

    "I hate it when girls wear blue." Made me laugh. :)

  6. Really promising start just wish it was longer!!! I'll be awaiting the next update don't hold out for too long.

  7. SUPER beginning! I'll patiently wait for your updates in the near future . . . ;-)

  8. Nice start! Happy you published it!

  9. Thanks everyone. I was worried people wouldn't like this because he's not actually even injured in this part. But I promise I'll have the next part sometime this week.