Saturday, September 1, 2012

Tales of a Sick & Twisted Devotee 15

For people like me, who are not particularly tall, stadium seating in movie theaters is an awesome thing.  Finally, I don’t have to crane to see over the head of the person sitting in front of me.  It’s totally amazing.

On the other hand, Chris hates it.  He says he used to be able to sit anywhere he wants in a theater, but now he’s basically stuck with the handicap-accessible aisle, which is a little closer than he’d like to be to the screen.  I don’t mind being close to the screen, although I also have to admit it’s slightly closer than I’d prefer.

So we try to find theaters that don’t have stadium seating, although that’s not an easy task in New York.  Most of them do these days.  And the ones that don’t are pretty old and may not be wheelchair accessible in some other annoying way.  Also, in a non-stadium theater, Chris was once told by an usher that he had to sit in the first row to avoid creating a fire hazard.  The usher wasn’t trying to be a jackass, but he was talking to Chris in this slow voice, like he thought he was mentally challenged or something and didn’t understand what he was saying.  Unfortunately, that’s something that happens from time to time, and I can tell it really embarrasses him a lot.  Considering how intelligent Chris is, there’s something amazing about the fact that someone could look at his wheelchair and assume, just based on that, that he’s retarded, but like I said, it definitely happens sometimes.  In any case, we ended up leaving the theater and getting a refund on our tickets rather than argue with the guy. 

Today we’re about to see this time travel movie with Bruce Willis.  How come Bruce Willis is in so many time travel movies?  Unfortunately, we’re stuck with a theater that has stadium seating, and Chris is sitting next to me in the middle of the theater, trying not to sulk.

“It’s not so bad,” I tell him.  “I like being close to the screen.”

“This close?”  He raises his eyebrows.

“Yes,” I say without hesitation.

Finally, he smiles.  I try to take his hand, but he pulls it away.  “Everyone can see us,” he hisses.  Seriously?  I thought he was over that.

My hands ball up in frustration, but I take a calming breath.  I know as soon as the lights go out, he’ll be willing to hold hands.  And maybe even make out a little.  For now, the best I can hope for is that our hands touch in the popcorn tub.

Chris ends up liking the movie more than I do.  We discuss it over dinner and I explain to him that time travel movies almost always piss me off due to being so inconsistent.  “There are two kinds of time travel,” I explain.  “Time travel where things you do in the past change your future self, and time travel where things you do while time traveling explain things that happen in the past.  But most movies just confuse the two.”

“So what are you saying?” Chris asks me, a smile playing on his lips.  “Time travel isn’t possible?”

“Well, it could be possible,” I say.  “Quantum physics says you can create a wormhole that could be used to travel through time, right?”

“Right,” Chris says.  “Of course, say you threw a ball through that wormhole into the past and then placed the second wormhole in a place where it will knock the ball out of the path of the wormhole so it won’t go in, then you’ve created a paradox, right?”

“I know that argument,” I say. “The counter-argument is that the ball that goes through that wormhole won’t knock the ball out of the way, but just change its trajectory so that it knocks the original ball at an angle that will cause it to still go into the wormhole and not knock the ball out of the way.”

Chris nods.  “So basically, you’re saying that you can’t change the future outcome.  Even if you can time travel.”

“That’s what I believe, yes,” I say.  I raise my eyebrows at him.  “If you had a time machine, would you go back to the past to try to change it?”

“Maybe,” he says, using his straw to stir the ice around in his water glass.  “Maybe I’d go back and tell my 14 year old self to go see a damn doctor and get an MRI of my spine.”

I don’t know what to say to that.  On our first date, he said that he didn’t mind being in a wheelchair and that it wasn’t something he would change if he could.  But there are other days when it seems like he minds very much.

“Eh, it probably wouldn’t work,” he says, shrugging.  “Like you said, if I did that, the surgery itself would probably end up damaging my spinal cord.  And if it did work, then I’d have no reason to go back to the past and there’d be a huge paradox that would destroy the universe.  And that would suck.”

“Hey,” I say, trying to smile.  “Didn’t you tell me that it doesn’t make a difference to you that you can’t walk?”

“It doesn’t,” he says quickly.  “It really doesn’t.  But… well, it would be nice to sit wherever we want in the theater, right?”

“I told you, I like to sit close.”

“So you say…”

Something in his expression makes my heart ache for him.  I want to lean across the table and kiss him, but I know he won’t go for that.  Instead I offer him my hand under the table and he grasps it in his and smiles at me. 


Chris usually showers early in the morning.  I wouldn’t call him a morning person, but even on weekends, he’ll get up at 7AM and go straight to the shower.  I wake up earlier than him on weekdays, but I like to sleep in on weekends.

A few times, I’ve woken up on a Sunday morning to the sound of him in the shower.  And honestly, the thought of him showering is just so, so hot.  He has this shower bench that he presumably uses to slide into the shower and then sit on when he’s showering.  I see it when I’m using his bathroom, but the thought of actually seeing him using it is incredibly sexy to me.  A few times I have quickly masturbated while the shower was going on.

This Sunday morning, however, I can’t take it another minute.  I get out of bed, and pull off the oversized T-shirt that I sleep in, as well as my panties.  What man rejects the company of his naked girlfriend in the shower? 

I rap once on the bathroom door and enter.  The yellow shower curtains are drawn around the bathtub, and the mirrors are all fogged up and the steam feels nice on my bare skin.  His wheelchair is positioned next to the tub, with a fresh towel draped over the seat.  “Hey,” I say in my sexiest, throatiest voice.

Chris pulls back the shower curtains so that I can just see his face, one muscled shoulder, and the back of the shower bench.  His brown hair looks black and is plastered to his skull by the water.  “Samantha,” he says hoarsely.  “What do you need?”

“I thought I could join you?” I raise my eyebrows suggestively.

Chris looks absolutely horrified.  “No, I…”  He blinks a few times as droplets of water get in his eyes.  “I’ll be out in a few minutes, okay?”

“Come on,” I say, trying to smile.  “It’ll be fun.”

He shakes his head.  “Please go,” he says so firmly that I know there’s no point in arguing.

I leave the bathroom, and put my nightshirt back on.  I feel totally crappy and self-conscious.  I wonder if I had bigger boobs, maybe he would have wanted me to join him.  Men have trouble resisting big boobs.

When Chris comes out of the bathroom a ten minutes later, partially dressed in boxers and a T-shirt, I’m practically on the verge of tears.  Chris looks alarmed when he sees me, and quickly wheels over.  His hair is damp and I see a drop of water trickle down his neck and darken his gray shirt.  “Samantha,” he says, grabbing my hands in his.  “What’s wrong?”

Is he an idiot?  “You don’t want to take a shower with me,” I remind him.

“Come on,” he says.  “You don’t really want to do that.”

Well, I came into the bathroom totally naked, so obviously I do.  “Yes, I do,” is all I say.

“Stop it,” he says, as if I’m teasing him or something.  “You know I have to sit down on a bench in the shower.  I don’t know what you’re imagining, but it’s not going to be sexy.  At all.”

Speak for yourself.

“It could be…” I say timidly.

“No,” he says, shaking his head firmly.  “It’s not.  Trust me.”

Chris leans forward and starts kissing me gently.  Well, first it’s gentle, but each kiss grows with desire.  Soon he’s pushing me down onto the bed and tugging off my underwear.  He goes down on me, and it’s fantastic, although mostly because I’m still picturing the two of together in the shower.  Me kneeling before him, helping him to soap up his naked body, his paralyzed legs. 


Chris and I have reached a point in our relationship where it's time we start meeting each other's friends.  He's already met Kate, of course, and I met a couple of friends of his here and there, but nothing where anyone had a chance to get to know anyone (and possibly disapprove of them).  

For me, I know the introductions are probably going to start with my friend Gina.  I met Gina several years ago when we were out with some friends, and one of them brought a guy along to try to get him to hook up with either me or Gina.  Neither of us liked the guy, but we liked each other, and thus a beautiful friendship was born.  

Gina works for an online magazine, and she always considers herself extremely hip.  She's one of those people who would never consider getting married before age 35, and when she decides to get married, it will probably be some huge event that will be featured on every blog in the city.  She's one of the funnest girls I know, and she immediately sniffs out that I'm dating a new guy.  Nobody can hide anything from this girl.

"Who is he?" she demands to know when we talk on the phone.  I've barely said hello.

"Nobody," I say quickly.  "I mean, not nobody, but..."

"So what's his name?" Gina asks.

It's futile to struggle against Gina's line of questioning.  "Chris."

"Short for Christopher or short for Christian?" she asks.  "Or short for Christina?"

"Christina!" I exclaim.  "Gina, I told you, I am not a lesbian!"

"Well, you're hiding something," Gina says.  "Because any normal hot-blooded heterosexual female would have been salivating over that gorgeous Patrick."

She isn't wrong.  "Short for Christian," I say.

"Nice.  Where'd you meet?"

"He works at the Apple store," I say, leaving out the story about the toilet.  "He helped me fix my iPhone."

"Trendy!" Gina says.  "Okay, what celebrity does he look like?  And if you say Christian Bale or Christian Slater, I know you're being lazy."

Gina always wants to know what celebrity everyone looks like.  The problem is, most people don't look like any celebrities.  Most people aren't anywhere near attractive enough to look like a celebrity.  And even though Chris is really cute, I still don't think he looks like any celebrity.

"I don't know," I say.

"Okay, describe him."

"Uh, short brown hair, brown eyes.  Glasses.  On the thin side."

"Tall or short?"

"Medium, I guess."  Not that it's easy to gauge when he's always sitting.

"Rivers Cuomo," Gina declares.


"Rivers Cuomo, lead singer of Weezer," she says, irritably.  "Hip nerd, right?  Here, I'll text you a photo.  I just covered a concert he did."

Amazingly, even though Gina has never seen Chris before, I have to admit, he does look a tiny bit like this guy Rivers Cuomo.  Of course, I'm guessing the lead singer of Weezer isn't in a wheelchair.  It's Weezer, not Wheeler.  (Haha.)

"So how serious is it?" she asks.

"Kind of serious," I admit.  "He's really sweet and cute, and I basically want to spend every minute with him.  He even bought me a new iPhone."

"Hashtag truelove," Gina sighs.  "Okay, now tell me what's wrong with him?"

"He's a little shy," I say.

"That's a positive, as far as I'm concerned," Gina says.  "I am so sick of these flirty guys.  Give me a shy guy any day of the week.  What else?"

Now would obviously be a good time to tell Gina that he's in a wheelchair.  I mean, she's going to find out sooner or later.  But somehow I can't get myself to say it.  Every time I open my mouth to form the words, my cheeks start to burn.  I know I need to tell her.  I don't understand why this is so hard.  "Nothing," I finally say.

"So when do I get to meet loverboy?"

We make plans to get together for dinner at her apartment next weekend.  Even though I open my mouth to say the words several other times, somehow I just can’t manage to tell her that my boyfriend is a paraplegic.  But I suppose the problem will work itself out.

To be continued....

Question for the readers: What do you think?  Is Sam making a mistake by not telling Gina in advance that Chris is in a wheelchair?  Are we obligated to give our friends a heads up?


  1. Chris is way too much shy, I understand but we demand more sexual scenes!

    I enjoyed it anyway <3 it would be better if she told Gina the wheel chair though. She even asked what was wrong with him. I would have told it.

  2. Give a girl a heads up! Always give them a heads up!

    As always - I love this story! I was a bummed as Sam that she didn't get to shower with Chris :)

    1. SECONDED. I feel like Chris is so incredibly wound up in his privacy. It's almost like he's hiding something. I mean, she's been with him now for a while, and it's okay for her to run around naked, but he won't even give an inch? And he's letting her stay over, but won't risk anything else?

      More, please? Come ON, Chris!

    2. I did feel a little guilty promising a shower scene when he actually sort of cops out on that ;)

      There are a lot of people who still feel trouble relaxing entirely in front of their SO in certain situations. I remember a while back, I was going through a hard time and gained a lot of weight in a short period of time, and I was embarrassed to get naked in front of my SO... and I'd been with him for two years!

      Even though he's fictional, in my heart, I know this is how Chris would really behave.

  3. Great chapter! While there really isn't an obligation to tell friends, I think it often works out better if you do. Otherwise there is that awkward moment when many of them don't know what to say or do--and it can last for the whole time out. At least, a little warning seems to get them past the awkward moment pretty quickly, or sometimes avoid it entirely[with really cool people].

  4. Yes give the heads up, it's always going to be a less awkward meeting if there isn't an immediate pause to take it in etc. That said it'll be a more interesting scene if there hasn't been any warning (poor Chris if Gina isn't impressed though)

    I love this story, thank you so much for writing it. Chris is perfect and I wish there was one of him in my life.

  5. I agree with Eleanore. But I always feel like it's for the wheeler's sake rather than the friend's. That may be because I don't trust my friend's mouths, I suppose.

    Great update!

  6. But also... I can understand why Sam wouldn't want to announce the wheelchair thing as an answer to "What's wrong with him?" Maybe she can work it into some other part of the conversation... since him being in the wheelchair is part of what's right with him. :)

  7. I think it helps to give friends a heads up because it saves him from the awkward moment when he wheels in.

  8. I like what Inigo said, about not wanting it to be the response to "what's wrong with him". It's definitely not an easy thing to admit to anyone, and once you tell people, then if you date another disabled guy, they'll surely make the connection.

  9. I know from personal experience that it isn't easy to tell your family and friends that your SO uses a wheelchair, but imagine the awkwardness if Gina's place isn't accessible, or simply the elevator is being repaired... Well, I know now that Annabelle will surely go for something awkward...
    I don't think Gina would mind the chair though - she seems quite open minded (Christina? Really? :) ).

  10. First off: Great chapter and I think Chris will open up more, but it will have to be on his own accord.
    Second thought: I agree, tell her friend--if anything to spare Chris' feelings.
    I also agree with your last comment: Telling people is possibly the hardest thing to do. As far what you said about 'connection'-- a couple of my friends know about my penchant for hot wheelers but my mom has never said a word despite the fact she knows (and has met!) my wheeler boyfriends in the past. And yet she says nothing--which I find really, really odd. I mean surely she can't think it's all coincidence?? ;)

  11. I don't think she has to tell her friends about his disability, but I still think she needs to tell that boy about her kink (fetish/devness/whatever)!

    Even though they didn't go through with the shower the very mention was oh so hot.

  12. I was fine about the shower scene - in fact, Chris's shyness makes him more interesting and I prefer a story with a slow burn - somehow it makes me look forward to the next chapter even more. I don't know about real life, but in fiction, it gives an added thrill to the reader when we know something about Chris that Gina doesn't know, so from that point of view, I would be looking forward to Gina not finding out about Chris's disability until when they actually meet. (If you've read Ruth Madison's 'Whole', there was an excellent comparable couple of scenes when the parents of the main female character meet the disabled lead male not expecting to to be greeted by guy in a wheelchair). Finally,surely Gina's comment 'what's WRONG with him?' is open to interpretation - after all, there is nothing wrong with Chris in Sam's view - does 'disability'have to equal'wrong'?

  13. She should tell Gina-it's only fair. Chris, buddy, a blond wants to shower with you. What's your problem?