Wednesday, February 29, 2012

California Dreaming - Part 12

Alex did not know what to say.   Kelly said, “I am not eating this cake alone,” and gave him a piece.
All Alex could get out was a soft, “hey.”
Trying not to sound nearly as nervous as she was Kelly said, “I picked out the cake so I can tell you it is worth every calorie.”
Again not able to get an entire sentence out he said, “I bet.”
Kelly blurted out, “so I am glad you are here.”
Alex looked at her and said with a smile, “that’s good.”
“I did not know you were coming until 5 minutes before the ceremony but that is for me to take up with Emily later.”
Alex threw his head back and said “oh wow, sorry.  awkward pause You look amazing.”
“Thanks, it was a beautiful ceremony.”
“Yes and your speech was perfect.”
Smiling Kelly said, “I stole a line or two.”
“I know but it worked. Don’t let me keep you from your cake.”
With a mouth full she said, “don’t worry you won’t.” 
Alex laughed.  She could tell he was not sure what to do or say. 
Kelly looked right at him and said, “so here are the rules.”
Alex gave a confused, “OK.”
Kelly held out the bottle of champagne and said, “we say nothing about the past, if either of us does then they have to take a drink.  We only speak of the present and future.”
Still confused Alex said, “so it’s a drinking game?”
“Call it what you want.”  He could tell she was in her happy place, but if that made her civil then it was fine by him. 
Kelly wiped her mouth and said, “I will start, do you love the cake?”
Alex shook his head and said, “yes I do.”
“OK now it’s your turn.”
After a long pause and still sounding confused and shy Alex said, “how are you?”
With a big smile Kelly said, “at this very moment I am wonderful.  For my turn I choose the same question, how are you?”
Looking right into her eyes he said, “at this moment I could not be better.  My turn OK, so are you still with the same company.”
Kelly had a skeptical look and said, “hmmm…..you need to drink.”
He sat up straight and said, “why?”
“Because that references the past.”
He said, “whatever you say.”
With a chuckle Kelly said, “I will answer it though, yes I am.”
“Are you still in DC?”
Alex said, “drink because that is exactly what I did.”
Kelly said with a big smile, “I wanted a drink anyway.”
“Since you asked so nicely, yes I am still in DC.”
Alex said, “Where are they going on their honey moon?”
Kelly said, “some island I think.”
She said, “who do you think will win the super bowl this year?”
Alex had a perplexed look and said, “what?”
“I could not think of a question,” she said with a shrug and took a drink. 
Alex was trying to figure out a way to ask about her health but he could not think of a way plus he wanted to play it cool. 
After another awkward silence Kelly said, “you can loosen up, I am not going to freak out or anything.  You keep looking at me like I am a crazy person.”
“You’re not crazy.”
Taking a bite of her cake Kelly said, “well actually I am.” 
Alex Laughed and said, “I don’t want to keep you, thanks for coming over.”
Kelly said, “it’s been a long time, believe it or not it is great to see you.”
Just then Brian came over and put his arms around both of them and said, “oh, yeah that is more like it,” and put his finger in Kelly’s cake.
Kelly said, “watch it,” and kissed him on the cheek. 
Brian said to Alex, “I see you have met my second wife Kelly.”
Kelly rolled her eyes.  Brian held up the bottle they had been drinking out of and said, “classy Kel, real classy.” 
Kelly said, “we were playing a drinking game.”
Alex did not say much then he blurted out, “dude nice wedding.”
Kelly said. “I will let you two nerds catch up, my shoes are on that dance floor and ran off.”
Brian sat down where she had been sitting.  He said, “man, it’s good to see you how is everything?”
 Alex said, “its good.”
Brian said, “well you look great.  Awkward seeing her?”
 Alex said, “yes and no.  She seems to be doing great.”
“She is.  I see why you wanted to keep her around, she is as cool as they come.”
Reluctantly Alex said, “so she is OK?”
Brian said, “yeah she is, she is like a sister.  How is the job, are you still doing working on that crap ass health care reform?”
With a smile Alex said, “you know it.  Still working at L&E?”
Brian said enough of the bull shit, “she is single but she is happy. I will never admit to saying this, but she is still waiting for you, no one can live up to you, trust me half of San Francisco has tried.  She has been through a lot so if you are not going for the gold don’t bother.” 
Alex said, “I don’t think we should go there, it seems like we might be in an OK place.”
Brian said, “true, but is that ever going to be enough?  awkward pause So listen, we never had this conversation.”
Just then Emily came over and hugged Alex from behind and kissed him on the cheek.  “Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.”  She went and sat on Brian’s lap.
Alex said, “you are stunning.”
“Thanks.  What are you two talking about?”
Brian said, “just catching up.”
Not buying that for a second she said, “I saw Kelly over here.”
Alex said, “yeah she seems great.”
With a chuckle Emily said, “she is the best.  Is she drunk?”
Alex said, “well she is not completely sober.”
“Well, her plan was to stay sober but that went out the window,” Emily said with a shitty grin. 
Emily told Brian he was dancing with her.  Brian said, “and already it starts,” and they went to the dance.
Alex went over to the bar and started talking with a buddy and he looked over and could see Kelly in her very slimming black dress.  He was so afraid to mess this up, she did not seem to despise him anymore and maybe that was enough, why push it? 
Brian’s brother kept dragging Kelly to the dance floor and she was pretty certain he was feeling her up.  She looked over at Alex who was back at his table and mouthed “save me.” 
He laughed.  About a half hour later Kelly was in the foyer outside the bathrooms sitting on a couch with one of the other bridesmaids.  He rolled over and said, “I had no idea you were such a dance floor diva.”
Kelly said, “please and um thanks for the help.”
“You looked like you were having fun.”
While looking at him like he was crazy she said, “that depends how you define fun.”  Kelly introduced Alex to the other bridesmaid; she said he went to law school with Brian and Emily. 
The other bridesmaid excused herself and Alex said with a quizzical look, “yeah I am the guy they went to school with was easier than saying old friend. “
She said, “oh whatever, like she needed be burdened with our drama.”
Alex laughed and said, “true statement.  So questions?”
Kelly said, “sure but steer clear from the past.”
Taking a sip from his beer he said, “I get that, just so I know because I don’t want to cause any drama trust me.  How do I rate with you?”
Kelly said looking confused, “rate?”
Smiling he said “as friend, an acquaintance, a guy at a wedding?”
 “Oh god Alex you are such a pain in the ass.”
“I am a pain in the ass, that is all I needed to know, so really I can only go up from there.”
Kelly hit his leg and said, “come on your buying me a drink and I am going to the cookie table.”
He followed her and she said, “get me whatever I am destined to be sick at some point.”
Kelly went over to the dessert table and grabbed a plate of cookies and went outside. 
Alex was not far behind, she sat down and he gave her a beer, she said, “well that’s original.” 
Kelly gave him a cookie, he said, “this is like a dream for you.”
“Well I have to admit I am having a great time,” and nudged him with her elbow.
  As Kelly leaned forward and he got a glimpse of her chest and wondered what she had gone through. 
She said, “so it’s been two years since we last talked and we are really struggling.”
“Well your rules are tough.”
“Ok ask whatever you want, I will suspend the rules just this once.”
“Wow it’s my lucky day.  So Kelly, seriously do you still hate me?”
“Do you think I hate you?”
“I am hopeful but my record with you is not that good.” 
“I never hated you, god I don’t think I hate anyone.  I needed time Alex, and with you just a call away, I could not do what I needed to do.”
 He said, “are you done?”
With a chuckle Kelly said, “yeah I think I am.” 
After an awkward pause Kelly said what was really on her mind, “so have you met her yet?” 
Tilting his head to the side he said, “who?”
“You know your one and only, the one.”
Nervously while looking at his hands he said, “I think I met her a few years ago, but I messed it up big time.”
With a smile and also not making eye contact Kelly said, “that is a shame.”
“So same question back at you?”
Still smiling she said, “a long time ago I thought I had but turns out I was wrong, I am on the prowl though.”  “I am surprised someone has not snatched you up.”
Looking at her drink she said, “I don’t know maybe I am not snatch up material.”
“I beg to differ,” Alex said with a soft tone.
Needing to change the subject Kelly said lightly, “so anyway you look great, you must be still working out like crazy.”  As his arms were much more defined and she could see that through a shirt. 
He said, “I have gotten back into shape.”
Kelly said, “and how has that been?”
“Great I guess.”
She touched his arm and said, “yeah I think it suits you,” with a smile.
Alex blushed and said, “you are the only person that can make me blush.”
“Oh please Alex.”
“Are you are still running?”
“Yeah, not like a I use to, but I still try to get out a few times a week. 
“Well that is a change.”
“Well, I got a life and now running is just part of it.” 
“That makes sense,” Alex said while taking a drink.
Again changing the subject Kelly asked, “so how is your family?”
With a huge smile Alex pulled out his phone and said, “well I am an uncle my brother and Amy had a baby boy last winter. 
“Alex well he is just adorable.”
“He is a great baby and my parents are over the top.” 
“That is awesome, now if I knew where my purse was I would show you a picture of the girls.  Mia goes to kindergarten this year.  She is so pretty and Katie is so fun.”
Feeling much more confident he went right for the thing that was driving him crazy, “so how is your health.” 
Coughing  as she was shocked at how he just blurted that out,   “that sounds like I am terminally ill.”
“Sorry, I could not think of a cool way to ask.”
“Everything is good knock on wood,” and knocked on his chair. 
“That’s great Kelly.”
“I still have to have the surgery but I keep putting it off, I need to just do it.”
With a serious tone Alex said, “what surgery?”
“I forget that you don’t know all the gorrey details.   They wanted me to have a complete mastectomy and I have just mastered putting it off.  I am not afraid or anything, I am just being silly.  I will do it, its not like I don’t already have implants really nothing would change for me.”
“Are they worried that it might come back?”
“No but if I do it, it lowers my risk factor to almost nothing.”
“Kelly, that sounds like a no brainer to me.”
“I know.  Your turn how is your health.”
“Not much changes there, wish it did but it doesn’t.”
Kelly said looking off into the distance, “this conversation is way too serious.”
Alex nodded.
Kelly said,  “lets go we are doing a shot.”  She ordered two lemon drops and winced. 
She said, “here is to us.”
 Alex said, “definitely,” and they drank it. 
Kelly looked at him and said, “well that should lighten the mood.”  She ordered them two beers, he rolled over to his table, she sat down and said hello to the few people that were there. 
Out of nowhere Kevin came over and said, “hey Alex, what’s up?”
Alex shook his hand and said, “same shit.”
Kevin looked at Kelly and said, “tell me you two are together.”
Kelly shook her head and said, “actually this is the first time we have talked since, well you remember that night.”
Kevin said, “yes I do.   Wow, that is crazy.  See ya late Kel and Alex nice seeing you.”
When he walked away Alex looked at Kelly and said, “what was that?”
“Shit Alex, I keep forgetting the things you know and don’t know.  The night of my little let’s call it break down, I was with Kevin.”
With a super confused look on his face he said, “you and Kevin?”
“Yeah we dated for a couple months.”
“Someone had told me they thought they saw you together but I could not see how that could happen.” 
“Well it did and we broke up that night as he said he was not taking second place to you.  That is when I freaked out and realized I needed to move on.  I liked him but honestly it was missing something.”
Taking a sip of his beer and looking across the room Alex said, “so you date a lot I imagine?”
“I guess but lots of dead ends, lots of dead ends.”
Alex laughed. 
Kelly quickly said “and that is funny because…...”
“I am sorry Kelly its just you and Kevin Maloney I can’t get my head around that.”
“Yeah so why is that so funny?”
“Kelly he is an absolute dick.”
“Alex that is a terrible thing to say, he is not.”
“Trust me, I know how he is with girls.”
“Whatever, he was nice to me that too was a long time ago.”
“I feel like I am getting a crash course in the last  2 or 3 years of your life.”
 Trying to lighten the mood Kelly said, “well the test is coming.”
Taking a drink of her beer she said, “how about you, have you dated anyone I went to school with.”
“I can say with certainty no.” 
“Has some lucky girl tied you down.”
“You know better, same old story good friends but when I want to up the ante they step back.”
“Honestly, I figured you would have some little petite lawyer thing hanging on your every word and be either married or engaged.”
“That’s funny the last couple girls have been shorter girls.”
“I always thought I was too tall for you.”
“How do you figure?”
“You did not know it but I wore a lot of flats I would not tower over you.”
Alex laughed and said, “I thought it was because your feet were horrendous.”
“Thanks Alex, tell me what you really think.”
“Kelly, with very little exception pretty much anyone is going to tower over me,”  and pointed to the wheel of his chair.”
Kelly rolled her eyes and took a drink.
 Just then Emily called her over to do a shot and Kelly said “gotta go duty calls.”
Kelly did another shot and went on the dance floor with Emily and a few of the girls.  A slow song came on and Brian asked Kelly to dance, and she was touched.  While they were dancing he said, “Kelly you know I adore you right?”
 “Yeah I do.”
“I want you to be happy,” you know that right?”
“Of course.”
“You know what you are doing right?”
Kelly took a deep breath and said, “no I don’t.”
Brian said, “he is perfect for you and you have been looking for him for two years, here he is with a big bow around his neck.”
“He does not want me, not after all this time.”
“Kelly, right now he is watching us and wishing so badly that he could be me.”
“He has feelings for me I am sure but Brian I was so nasty to him.”
“Kelly, I just want you to be happy that is all.”
 Kelly put her head on his shoulder and said, “sweet Jesus Emily is a lucky girl, you are a horses ass but I love you,” and kissed his cheek and yelled for Emily to come get him before she stole him and wiped a tear from her eye. 
The three of them danced for a minute. She wondered if he was watching, so she turned around to where she thought he was and sure enough he was sitting there watching her.  She walked off the dance floor looked at him across the room and shrugged her shoulders and he came over, her heart was pounding.
Alex said “I can’t twirl you around the dance floor.”
Softly Kelly said, “you can.”
“Not the way you deserve.”
Firmly Kelly responded, “I don’t feel bad for you.”
With a chuckle Alex said, “I know you don’t, that is one of the 8 million reasons I still am in love with you.”
“Is that so?” Kelly said blushing.  She had the tiniest tear in her eye, she said, “I want to say it but,” with an awkward pause. 
 Alex interrupted and said, “you don’t have to, I know.”
“No you don’t Alex you can’t begin to know.”
Throwing his head back and shaking his head he said, “I do know, too much time, I remember the speech.”
“Shut up, that is not what I wanted to say.”  There was a long pause.
“Kelly you don’t have to say anything.”
“Good because I just can’t I want to but at this second I can’t.”
Alex put his hand out and she grabbed it, he kissed her hand and said, “you don’t have to say a thing.”
Kelly thought about running away, but she did not want to be that girl.  She looked him in the eye and said “baby steps.”
All Alex said was, “you got it.”  Then after yet another long awkward pause Alex said,  “I want to stand up and hug you so badly.”
Kelly leaned over and hugged him her head was in the nook of his neck and he smelled amazing, he felt even better.  She had no idea what was going on, but she was not going to run. 
Alex pulled her to his lap and she said, “your signature move.”
“Only for you.”
 Looking in his eyes she said, “it’s got to be slow.”
 “I know.” 
They were throwing the bouquet, which was good because Kelly felt overwhelmed.  She did not catch the bouquet and really did not try.  Emily grabbed her and said, “what’s going on Kel?”
Kelly said, “hell if I know but I am not going to run away from it.” 
Emily hugged her and said, “you have grown up haven’t you?” 
With a huge mischievous smile Kelly said, “me never.” 
Kelly went to the ladies room, annoyed because seriously where was her purse.  She needed some touching up.  When she left the bathroom the bridal party was doing one last shot before Emily and Brian took off.  So being the good maid of honor that she was, she did her shot and hugged them and said she loved them both.
Emily told Kelly the limo was going to drive her home.
Kelly said, “that’s great if I could only find my freaking purse.”
“Kelly its in the limo.”
 Kelly said with a smile, “you think?”
“I know.”
Kelly turned around, and went to sit down outside and take her shoes off for a second. She had not seen Alex for a while and she thought that was good because she needed a second to take it all in.  She was getting tired or the ridiculous amount of alcohol she consumed was catching up with her.  A few minutes later he rolled up beside her.  Kelly said, “hey,” with a shy smile.
Alex simply said, “you OK?”
 “Yeah, big day.”
Alex said, “yeah I have been sitting for a long time, it’s just about time for a big old spasm.  So I was wondering if I could ask you out?”
Kelly said with a chuckle, “what?”
With a shitty grin Alex said, “turns out I am going to be in town for a few days and I would love to take you out on a date.”
“You would?”
 “Yeah, I know a great Mexican place I think you would like.”
Kelly smiled with ease, and leaned over and kissed him on the lips. 
Alex pulled away and said, “I know you don’t know me very well and this is very forward.” 
Kelly interrupted and she said, “Alex shut up,” and they kissed again. 
Kelly grabbed his hand and stood up and said, “I think it’s time to go.”
“Kelly, are you sure?”
“I have never been more certain.”
Alex said, “well you are not driving.”
“No, Emily took care of me and well consequently us.”
“Just let me tell Nick.”
“OK I will be in the foyer.”
 Alex came back a few minutes later and she was just coming out of the bathroom.  She nodded her head for him to head towards the door.  When they got there, Alex said, “Kelly this is not baby steps.”
Kelly not wanting another drawn out conversation said, “shut up.”
“OK, you are the boss.”
“Now Alex that is more like it.”  She did not want to talk anymore.  Kelly took him over to the bridal limo.
“You think you can get in her?”
“Kelly if I had to walk to be with you tonight I think I could.”
 Kelly kissed his forehead.  The driver came around and said, “what can I do for you sir?”
 Kelly climbed in and figured she would let them figure it out, and she yelled, “there it is.”
 Alex said, “what?”
“My purse I have been looking for it all night.”
 A few minutes later he was in, she said, “that was not so easy.”
“True but it was worth it.”
“I see you are still good with the lines.” 
He said, “they are not lines.”  Kelly sat next to him and put her hand in his lap, she said, “don’t take this the wrong way but I want to do very little talking tonight.  I am not in right state of mind and frankly I am not in the mood.”
Brushing the hair away from her face Alex said. “I agree, not tonight. “  She told the driver her address.  The ride was going to be at least a half hour.  She was so tired and drunk. 
Kelly took a long look in his eyes still not believing he was actually there with her.  She laid her head on his shoulder and he took a deep breath and said, “feels like home.” 
Alex had not felt so sure about something since the first time he laid eyes on her.  He just hoped she could let go of the past.  Not talking about it and letting it go are two different things.  He decided to live in the moment.  Alex had no idea what the night would bring.  They pulled up to her building and he gently kissed her head as she was out, he thought she might even be drooling.  She did not flinch he said, “Kelly you are home.”  He kissed her again and said, “come on Kelly let’s get you to bed.”
Kelly sat up slowly and said, “wow, I was out.”
With a huge smile Alex said, “yes you were.” 
“Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize.”
The driver helped Alex get out, Kelly followed and said, “were you ever here?”
With a skeptical look he said, “yes just for a few minutes.”
 Opening the door Kelly said, “oh yeah.  So I think you should be able to get around in here.”
Alex grabbed her hand and said, “Kelly I will be fine.”
After a long awkward pause he said, “do you want me to go, I can have Nick pick me up.  Really Kelly, I don’t want to push things.”
“No Alex, please stay, please,” with a small voice. 
“Of course.” 
“I am so tired.”
Alex said, “well then let’s get you to bed.”
She started to undress,  he watched her almost unable to say or do anything, he just watched her. Kelly took her dress off and asked for his help with the zipper.  She was in her bra and underwear and walked into the bathroom in a few minutes she was back she opened a drawer and pulled out one of his old t-shirts and put it on. 
Completely overwhelmed and feeling like he had just won the lottery.  She kissed him gently.  Kelly looked as perfect as he remembered, so perfect and the fact that she still had his shirt meant everything.  She crawled into bed and said, “take your time, I am not going anywhere.”  He knew she would fall asleep, and that was OK he in no way wanted to over step.  Alex went into the bathroom, privately he let a few tears loose, he was happy but scared, he loved her so much and this might be his one last change.  He came out and got into bed next to her; it was surreal almost felt like time had stood still.  She was sound asleep and he slept better than he had in years. 

Monday, February 27, 2012

California Dreaming - Part 13

Kelly slowly woke up around 9, Alex had been up and to the bathroom already.  He said very gently, “hey.”  She looked at her shirt and looked at him and said, “hey.”  They just looked at each other for what felt like half of an hour. 
Kelly puckered her mouth as it was very dry, she said, “excuse me,” and got up and went to the bathroom. She came back and honestly did not know what to do, she was feeling very shy.  She sat at the bottom of the bed and Alex said, “if you want me to go.” Kelly interrupted and said, “oh my god no, I am just taking this all in.” Alex shook his head.  He could not tell what she was thinking.  He felt like he needed to take the lead, but he did not want to make a mistake. 
Kelly said, “wow.” 
“Kelly maybe I should go, we can get together later, I understand, last night was crazy.”  She did not say anything and he went to prop himself up, and she said, “no.”
Alex said, “what?”
 Kelly took a deep breath and said, “no.”   She went over to where she slept, “ if you leave here, I may never see you again.”
“Kel no we can have lunch or dinner.”
 Interrupting him she said, “I did this once, you I mean we are here now, I am not letting you go.  Pause Alex, there is so much I want to say but right now the words are not there.”  They just looked at each other, tears welling up for all the time that had passed and everything that had been forgotten. 
Abruptly Kelly said, “I am going for it,” and kissed him.
Alex got himself sitting upright and grabbed her head and pulled her towards him.  He brought her to his chest and held her so tight he could feel her tears.  “Kelly if you let me I will do better this time.”
Kelly sat up and straddled him and he wiped her tears with his gentle hands, she kissed the palm of his hand and put it on her heart, she honestly could not have talked if she knew what to say.  She put her hands through his hair and she said, “I don’t have the words but I know what to do.”
They made crazy passionate love, it was amazing, when they were done she lay beside him and said, “I can’t move,” Alex let out a laugh and she said, “oh jeezz.” 
“I just, I just have never done anything like that and I thought we had done it all but wow that might have been worth the wait.”  He grabbed her hand and held it. 
Kelly found her nook and he said, “you fit like a puzzle piece.”
“Perfectly.”
Alex kissed her head. 
Kelly got up to go to the bathroom; he watched her naked body scurry across the room. 
She came out and said, “I have a test.”
“I hope I pass.”
Kelly grabbed her/his shirt and he pulled her close and he looked at her breast and saw the small scar and kissed it.  She kissed his lips.  “That was not the test but that was extra credit.”
“OK, I am ready.”
“Where is your wallet?”
Looking very confused he said, “what?”
“Trust me where is it?”
“Check in the bag on the back of my chair.”
Kelly pulled out his wallet and said, “everything lies on this one thing,” with a shitty grin.
She sat on his chair and Alex said, “I have no clue what you are doing, but I feel like I am in 10th grade calculus.”
 She opened it, and looked in the money area and said, “crap,” with a frown.
“What Kel?”
“You use to have a picture of us here and I always thought as long as you had that there then you still loved me.”
“Give me that.”
Kelly handed it to him.  “It’s OK it has been almost 3 years that is silly for me to think.”
Interrupting her Alex said,   “give me that.”
Alex pulled something out of the secret compartment behind the credit card part and there it was that same picture folded up.  He said, “I think I will die with this in my wallet.”
Kelly leaned down and kissed him long and hard. 
He said, “I never knew you knew about that.”
“I needed your insurance card once and you were asleep.”
Alex shook his head and said, “as a side note you sitting in my chair naked, holy shit that is like soft porn.”  “You like that?”
Alex pulled her down to him and kissed her again.  “Alex I am naked.”
“Yeah you are!”
Kelly grabbed her/his t-shirt and went to put it on and he said, “when you pulled that out last night I knew this might be really happening.”
Kelly said, “my head,” with a pout.
“I bet, you partied like a rock star last night Kel.”
She went to the kitchen and got water and advil. 
Kelly sat Indian style in the bed next to him.  She said, “I am still having trouble knowing what to say.”
“I know the feeling, I am afraid to mess this up.  I do have a question.”
“What?”
With a serious tone, and looking into her eyes he said, “have I done my penitence?”
“What does that mean?”
“Kelly I want you more than anything in the world probably as much as I want to walk, but I just need to know you forgive me and I am not going to be punished for the rest of my life.”
“Oh Alex, it was not all you and, it takes two and I did my part.”
“Well I was the key player, I know that.”
“Well, I am letting you off on good behavior, time already served.”
Alex said, “Thank you, thank you,” and had tear rolling down his face. 
“Christ Alex, I am sorry, so sorry,”  and wiped his tear.  “Dare I ask what happens now?”
“I don’t know, taking it slow seems smart but silly, jumping in and rushing seems irrational.”
She said, “part of me feels like you never left and part of me feels like I missed so much.”
“I know, I guess just see where it takes us.” 
Without making eye contact Kelly said, “how long are you here for?”  
“I have to go to Colorado for some doctor stuff this week but I will be back.  If I did not have to go I swear I wouldn’t.   My flights in the morning.”
“Everything OK?”
“I am sure you have noticed, I have been more spastic, I have had issues with UTI’s, Mom wants me to see my urologist from home.”
“Are you worried?” 
“Worried, no, curious and anxious for whatever it is to be resolved, yes.”
“It does not matter; I have to be in New York for a few days.” 
Alex insisted they get out of bed and go get something to eat.  She took him to Nick’s to get his stuff.  The trip was uneventful, he was not impressed by her convertible.  After trying to get him and his chair in the small BMW convertible, he said, “well this is a great car,” with tons of sarcasm. 
Kelly said, “yes Alex of course I should have gotten a sedan or van because god knows the streets of San Francisco are lined with guys in chairs just waiting to date me,” she was equally frustrated. 
Lightening the moment Alex looked at Kelly and laughed and kissed her hand.
They went and got something to eat, they were both still recovering from the night before and wanted to just go back and spend the evening in bed together.  Once they were back at Kelly’s, Alex did some stretching out, Kelly was in her room packing and realized how normal all this felt.  When she was done, she went out and got on her knees and kissed him, he said, “hey you.” 
Kelly said, “done yet?” with a pout. 
With a big smile, “he said give me 10 minutes and I will meet you in bed.” 
Kelly shook her head and went and got ready for bed.  She watched from the doorway as Alex, moved his legs that were shaking even after all that stretching, and carefully pulled himself back into his chair.  Something that would have freaked her out at one time, now gave her a tingly feeling.  She appreciated him so much more now.  Not wanting him to catch her watching, she went into the bathroom.  Once they were settled in bed, Kelly put her head on his shoulder and said. “oh Alex what are we doing?”
Alex replied while kissing her forehead, “the only thing we know how to do, love each other.”
There was a pause.  One of those pauses where nothing but everything that needed to be said was said and heard.
Alex turned and looked her in the eye and said, “I will never hurt you again, I will never hurt you again.”  Kelly could not keep her hands off him, she let loose and he embraced every ounce of her.  They made crazy love, and afterward just laid there and said nothing.  He kissed her hand and she said, “I have always loved you, even before I knew you, even when I did not think you loved me I still loved you but had no idea what to do with it.  Since the moment that we met, there has never been a time where I did not love you. You need to know that and believe that.  Kelly when I found out you had breast cancer and kept that from me, I was very certain you did not love me and I needed to let you go.  That destroyed me.  Kel you know would have been right there with you, I would never have let you go through that alone.”
Taking all that he said in she shook her head and said, “I knew that, and I knew you would be here but I would never have wanted you to come back because I was sick.”
“Kelly do you know how crazy that sounds.”
“I know, I know.  You are here now just hold me.”
Kelly fell asleep and he carefully got up and went to the bathroom.  When he came back he sat and watched her for a few minutes.  He could not believe he was there; he did not want the night to end.  He got back in bed, and she must have heard him because she curled right up with him and he felt like he had everything he needed. 
Throughout the night he had a lot of spasms which frustrated him and he knew it had to be annoying Kelly.  She pretended not to mind, but she did think they were worse than usual but that was also 3 years ago. 
The alarm went off at 6 AM.  Kelly woke up kissed him and said, “I am going to get ready, make yourself at home, there is milk and cereal and other stuff in the kitchen.” 
Kelly told Alex to use the other bathroom.  He went in and began to cath and noticed a little blood, he figured it was another UTI.  One of the reasons he was going home to have a study done to see why he kept getting such frequent UTI’s.  He had at least one a month for the last year. 
Kelly finished up her last minute packing and wore a pair of shorts and a short sleeved shirt as she had a long flight ahead of her.  She was packed and ready and in the kitchen before him.  She made him some toast and a couple eggs.  Alex came in and she said, “good morning.” It was not awkward anymore. 
“Sorry I flopped around so much last night.”
“I hardly noticed.”
“You are an awful liar.”
“I have a UTI coming on, I know it.”
“Do you need anything?”
“No I will be at the urologist tomorrow.”
“Well that is convenient.”
Their flights were about a half hour apart so they shared a cab.  Once they were at the airport and it was time to part Kelly said, “I hate this part.”
“Kel, its not goodbye, you are not getting rid of me.” 
Looking in her eyes he said, “Kelly, I am playing for keeps.”
“God I hope you mean that.”
 Alex pulled her to his lap and kissed her, she got a tear in her eye and he told her not to do that. 
Kelly got up and wiped her face and said, “this is silly.”  She put her hands on his legs, looked right in his eyes and kissed him hard.”
“I know you don’t believe me but you will see me again, and very soon, this is not over its just beginning,” he said with confidence.
She kissed the top of his head and walked away. 
Alex hated that he knew she had no faith in him.  He meant it, he had no clue how but he was going to win her back.  Kelly cried for a few minutes then tried to put it out of her mind.  It was a weekend thing with an ex lover that is it, she refused to get her hopes up although she was so hoping he was serious.  She slept most of the flight as she was exhausted.  She checked email and facebooked and the 5 hour flight went pretty fast.  His flight was pretty short, and annoying as always. 
Alex’s brother Mike picked him up, he told him about the weekend and his brother said, “wow, so what does all that mean?”
 Alex said he did not know but he was going to figure out how to move back to LA and sweep her off her feet for good this time, his brother simply said,” good luck.” 
“How does she look, still hot as hell?”
“Might have been hotter, honestly not much has changed, once I peeled back her toughness she was the same sweet girl, wanting to be swept off her feet.” 
“Does she want you back?”
“I think but she had no faith in me, and I don’t blame her for that.  If she was not going to New York I would have stayed.”
“Mom would have kicked your ass for missing your appointment.”
“I know but it would have been worth it.”
“Enough of that how is the baby?”
“Great, everyone’s excited for the party.”
 Kelly got to New York late of course, and had to get checked in and changed for a 3 PM meeting, she had a tight schedule which was good because she did not want to think about Alex too much. 
Alex to his parents and they were not home, he unpacked and checked email and facebook and took a nap, he was beat.  He did not wake up till about and his parents were holding dinner for him.  He told them it was a long weekend.
“So you won’t believe who was at the wedding?”
His Dad said while taking a bite of his sandwich, “who?”
“Kelly was the maid of honor.”
His Mom quickly said, “you had no idea she was going to be there?”
“I thought she might be there, but I did not know they had become such great friends.”
“How was it?”
Casually Alex said, “great, we ended up spending the weekend together.” 
His Dad said, “wow, what does all that mean?”
“I am going to go back to LA and prove to her that I am serious.”
“Quitting your job?”
“In due time Dad all in due time.”
“Is that what she wants?”
“Yes, but she does not think I will do it, and has no faith in me.” 
“Oh, Alex, why do you always have to take the long route,” his mother said in her concerned Mother voice.
“I do that a lot, but I am going to marry her, I am not letting her go, I love who I am when I am with her.  She makes me feel like a man.  Kelly see’s me and I have looked I can’t find anyone that even comes close to that.  I would have stayed but she had to go to New York, it was so hard leave her in tears again, so hard.”
“Well, we are leaving early in the morning, you have a long day of tests.”
“I know, I think I have a UTI starting now, so the timing is perfect.”
 She said, “Dr. Roberts better get to the bottom of this, this is ridiculous.”
“Tell me about it, I spasmed like crazy last night.” 
His brother and Nicki brought the baby over and Alex could not believe how big he was, they skyped but he could not believe it.  He picked him up and put him on his lap and said, “hey buddy.”  He was actually a little sad, he missed so much.  Another reason to move closer, he really missed his family.  They let Aiden run around out back, it was surreal for Alex to watch.  He wanted so bad to play with him.  But he got a lot of pleasure from watching him. 
He texted Kelly, “did you get there in one piece.”
“Yes, thanks for checking.” 
“How is the time change?”
“Sucks but I slept a lot on the plane.”
Alex replied, “I took a 5 hour nap today,” with a wink. 
“I wore you out did I.” 
“Yes, and thank you for that.” 
“How is your family?”
Alex took a picture of Aiden and texted, “wonderful, I am so glad to be home.” 
“That is great, he is so cute, looks like your Dad.”
“The only thing that would make it better would be if you were here.”
She paused and did not know what to say.  “Alex, my last trip to Colorado was awful.”
“Give it a second chance.”
“I swore I would not ever step foot there again.”
“Well that is a tad harsh.”
“Speak for yourself.”  He paused.  He thought wanted to get her there.  “What are you doing?”
“Getting ready for dinner.”
Kelly answered, “that was fast.”
“I hate text.”
“I know.  But you are much better at it.”
Alex laughed.  “So what is it going to take to get you here?”
“That is ridiculous Alex, out of the question.”
“Why”
Stuttering Kelly said, “because, stop it, I am not talking about it.”
“OK,” with a pause. 
My cab is here, I have to go, I will call you tonight.”