Monday morning’s daylight discovered me still in
Madison’s bed, all happy and tingly with excitement. Hmmm…I loved making love
with him. All I wanted to do was stay here forever but my Romeo was ready to
get up.
“You can use the guest bathroom,” said Madison
in the most dreamily hoarse morning voice. “It’s fully stocked.”
“Do we have to get up?” I whined, snuggling
closer.
“Yes, baby we do,” he laughed softly. “I take a
little longer to get dressed.”
Of course. I knew that. Even though I wanted to
suggest we take a shower together.
“It’s kind of a production, Paige,” Madison felt
he needed to add.
His tone was abruptly flat. I had read enough to have some idea about what his morning routine might entail. Another set of things he wasn’t ready for me to see. I rose up and kissed him gently.
“So that’s how come you’re so hot,” I teased him
grinning mischievously. “You’re a bathroom-hogger. Good to know.”
His smile was tentative but real.
“Well not all of us are naturally beautiful, Ms.
Robinson.”
“Yeah, right,” I dismissed the hint of a compliment as I deliberately crawled over him, pausing a single second to let our naked bodies touch one more time.
His smile grew stronger, and as I gathered up my
undies and black dress, I could feel the golden brown eyes watching me. So much
so that it could have been a little bit embarrassing, the things about my body that
were not Victoria’s Secret-perfect, but Madison’s gaze made me feel desired even
in the morning light. As if afterglow might actually last all day. I pondered
that lovely possibility while I showered and got dressed in the guest bathroom.
Of course I did feel a little risqué making
morning coffee in the same bad-girl dress I had worn the night before. Ted and
Pam were going to have an issue about me not coming home last night. I had sent
Pam a text just now to say I was fine but I’d be late to which she had
immediately replied although I had not read it. They did fully realize that I
was a sexual being, marriage license or not, but the spirit of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell prevailed between
us just so long as I was careful not to show
it. By now Jessica and Jennifer would have totally blown my cover so to speak. I
could just imagine the pleasure Jessica was getting from reporting my obvious
transgression. Maybe it was time for me to find a roommate, or rent a room or
something. To be honest, my sister and brother-in-law had every right to shield
their children from the facts of life if that was what they wanted to do. Since
they had taken me in, I was obliged to respect their values, but—and this was a
big but—a) I was a grown woman and b) Madison was the best thing that had
happened to me in a very long time.
As I waited for Madison, sipping the dark
delicious beverage I myself had brewed in the most magical coffeemaker of all
time, all I really cared about were my memories of last night and my fantasies
for the new day.
When Madison reappeared he was wearing what was
obviously office attire, and at least my fantasy of both of us skipping out on
work today went poof. I might have known he was too responsible to play hooky.
And after all he had a job he loved, or at least cared about. I on the other
hand was quite ready to call-in with an excuse labeled personal reasons and stay home—especially if I could do so with my
lover. The personal reasons would not
be a lie and it wouldn’t be a confession either. I supposed I could have
called-in sick. It would just be love-sick. In the words of Diana Ross I
had the sweetest hangover.
Ah, but the same could not be said about the source of my affliction. Madison looked absolutely fresh in his blue dress shirt and gray slacks. His shoes even had a shine.
“How ‘bout some eggs?” he asked rolling into the
kitchen.
“Okay,” I replied.
“Scrambled okay?”
“Sure.”
“That’s good,” he sort of shrugged sheepishly. “All I have is EggBeaters.”
“I noticed,” I smiled at him.
“I basically have to watch what I eat,” he
explained as he retrieved a frying pan from a lower cupboard.
“Don’t we all,” I replied.
It was fascinating the way Madison did things, how he effectively put it all together: the wheelchair, his uncooperative hands, and any task in front of him. I realized we were presently in his space and Karen had tried to design everything around his disability, but still I couldn’t help but to be impressed. He made it all look so routine.
And back to last night…Karen had simply given up
too soon. I wondered if she had any idea. I wondered if she wanted to change
her mind and come back to him. I wondered if Madison wanted her to.
After breakfast, while he went back to his room
to finish getting dressed, which I assumed could only mean tie and jacket, I
washed out Pam’s Tupperware containers and repacked them in one of the grocery
bags. Then I went to the foyer closet and put on my coat. At least my sexy
dress would be covered up for the bus ride home.
Seated on the sofa, I was all ready to go when
Madison returned to the living room wearing a tie and a jacket. My goodness he
looked so out of my present league. I just had to keep reminding myself that I
was in fact not Eliza Doolittle. I,
too, had carried a leather briefcase and worn elegant pumps to the office, and
someday I would again. And have my own place. And maybe my own car. And, and,
and.
“I see you’re ready to go,” said Madison.
The smallest hint of regret about that in his
voice made me smile happily.
“I don’t want to make you late,” I replied.
He crossed the room and kissed me, his freshly
minted tongue filling my mouth, sweetening my own. Instantly the deep places
inside me rose up greedily but I fought to suppress them, even pulling back from
him a little.
“I better go,” I said, feeling a bit proud of
myself for being the practical one.
“So, I’ll be a little late,” replied Madison.
“Creature of habit, remember?” I smiled at him and stood up. “I bet you’ve never been late for anything in your life.”
“I wish I’d met you sooner,” he said stroking his hardened palm against the inside of my thigh.
No fair,
Madison Reese, I thought, sensing passion pulsate throughout my body.
Instinctively I brought my thighs together tightly, squeezing his hand.
“We can always make up for lost time,” I said,
the tremor in my voice betraying the cool composure I was trying to maintain. “Just
not on a work day.”
“Okay,” he exhaled deeply, taking his hand away.
We were both quiet as we left the condo and took
the elevator down to the lobby. When we came off the elevator I stopped. I so
did not want to say goodbye, not even for a little while. I wondered when we
would get together again. Surely I couldn’t expect every day, or rather every
night. Besides work, Ted would either throw me out of his house or organize a
prayer vigil to imprison me in it.
“What’s the matter?” Madison asked. “Forget
something?”
“No,” I replied. “It’s just I don’t know how you
feel about PDA.”
“PDA?” he asked. “What’s that?”
“Public displays of affection,” I schooled him.
“I mean, I want to kiss you bye, but you know, some men don’t like that.”
Madison laughed.
“I think we do pretty well in the car, if you don’t mind me saying.”
“I’m talking about now, here. There’s a bus-stop
just on the corner, and I was--”
“Bus-stop?” he frowned. “I’m taking you home.”
“No, no, that’s okay. The bus is fine. Really.”
“Why not, Paige?” Madison asked abruptly cool.
“Why don’t you want me to drive you?”
The accusation was obvious in his face, his
stiffened posture, and I felt a little offended by the implication but I was
sorrier that I had given him something to doubt about me. Madison had made it
pretty clear that he was sensitive about his disability. I’m not exactly the pick of the litter, Paige.
“Madison, it’s not about you,” I said. “It’s
about me.”
“What is?”
“Well not me really,” I stumbled. “It’s just my
sister…I mean, look, my sister and her husband, they’re very…very strict about
things. Religious I mean. I’ll probably get the full treatment when I get home.
I don’t want you to be part of that. That’s all. When you meet them I want
things to be right.”
“I wasn’t aware that things were wrong.”
”They’re not,” I said exasperated. “Not to me.
But to them--”
“I thought we were being more open with each
other, Paige,” replied Madison but his face had softened.
“We are.”
“Well then don’t protect me.”
“I’m not protecting you.”
“Yeah, I think you are.”
“Well it’s not because of your chair,” I said
defensively.
Madison smiled.
“Okay,” he said.
“It’s not, Madison,” I insisted. “It’s just that
my brother-in-law can be so holier-than-thou. I’m a total screw-up to him. I
swear, he’ll wonder what’s wrong with you for even getting involved with me…He
could say something…something really stupid.”
Madison rolled closer to me and tucked his right
hand into my left palm. I caressed the soft skin of his fingers.
“You know,” he began looking up into my eyes.
“If we do this, chances are there’s going to be a lot of stupid things said. We
might even say some of them ourselves, and to each other.”
I wanted to shake my head no even though I knew
he was telling the truth. He might only buy EggBeaters but there were still plenty
of eggshells to contend with. Such was life, right?
“So we’ll work through it, okay?” said Madison.
I supposed they didn’t call lawyers counselors
for nothing.
“Okay,” I nodded.
“So I’m taking you home then?”
“Yes,” I hesitated. “But--”
“But what?”
“There’s these two front porch steps.”
“At the back door too?” asked Madison.
I thought for a moment.
“No, I don’t think so,” I said.
“Problem solved.” He smiled warmly. “That’s
assuming I get invited in, having totally corrupted you.”
In the best possible, most desirable way I
thought but didn’t say. Really I had to learn to keep the fawning in check.
“You’re invited,” I said with a conviction I was
pretty sure I wasn’t entitled to. “But you have to stay for at least one cup of
coffee. Otherwise, my sister will think I was just a quickie for you or
something.”
Madison laughed which made me very happy. It
wouldn’t be like I had planned, his meeting Pam this way, but at least Ted was
probably already gone to work and the kids would be at school. It should be
okay. Pam wouldn’t scold me right in front of him.
“I can be a little late,” Madison winked at me
and grinned. “I’m open.”
#####
I waited while Madison unloaded his wheelchair
and transferred into it. Maybe Pam was watching. Ted usually kept the side gate
leading to the patio and ultimately the sliding glass doors locked so I told
Madison I would go in through the front and them come around and meet him. I
had researched portable ramps on the Internet and was thinking that if we
worked out I would invest in one. It would just be nice to have one handy.
As soon I entered the house, Pam set into me.
“Who is that?” she demanded.
“Good morning, little sister,” I replied.
“Don’t you little-sister to me. You’re the child. You couldn’t text me last night?”
“You knew where I was, Pam,” I said with cooler
appearance than was actually true.
“With him? That’s your lawyer? He’s in a
wheelchair?”
“Not too shabby, right?”
“Paige--”
“Pam. Please. I think I really have feelings for
him. Please don’t mess it up.” I headed to the kitchen to deposit my grocery
bag.
“Don’t mess what up?” demanded Pam following me.
“You’re not serious. I mean I know you’ve hit a rough patch, but--”
“Pam, Madison Reese is the best thing that’s
happened to me in a long time. He’s great. Really. And the chair’s not
important. Please don’t make a big deal out of it.” I went over the patio door.
“And don’t act surprised about it either. I told him I’d already told you.”
“Paige--”
“It was his idea to bring me home. I told him I could take the bus. I was going to tell you first, before you met, but here we are. It really is no big deal unless you make it into one.” Sliding the door open I happily stepped back out into the cool morning, trusting that my sister, who was not unkind, would quickly get herself together and be cool too.
Madison, with his powerful shoulders and arms
easily bumped his chair over the sliding door threshold and was soon in the
middle of my sister’s kitchen.
“Hello Madison,” Pam said brightly, reaching out
to shake Madison’s hand.
“Pam, it’s nice to meet you,” replied Madison courteously
returning her gesture.
But Pam hesitated, her eyes fixed for an instant
on Madison’s hand. I saw the hesitation. Madison did too. And making matters
worse, Pam bypassed his hand completely, briefly squeezing his jacket-covered wrist
instead, in what must have been some kind of awkward attempt to offer a handshake
alternative. Stupid human trick
number one, I thought, my heart sinking. Seemingly unfazed Madison allowed her
gesture, then returned his right hand to the push rim of his chair.
“Paige has told me a lot about you,” he said,
which wasn’t all that true but was just a commonly used tool for facilitating
polite conversation. What else was he going to say—My hand isn’t dirty merely paralyzed?
Pam looked at me. Lie back, I willed her. It was such a throw-away line: Paige talks about you all the time too. I
was furious with her and disappointed, yet I couldn’t totally blame Pam. She
and I were different. One of her church’s faithful missionaries my sister eagerly
baked plenty of cookies and cupcakes for the sick and shut-in, she just didn’t
do the visiting. Even when it had come to our own parents, Pam had sent more
flowers than she had shown her face. “Your sister does the best she can,” our
mother had excused her. “She doesn’t like hospitals.” Madison was no patient,
but truth be told I had forgotten to see him through Pam’s eyes. I just saw
him. If this introduction was a train wreck, then I was the switchman at fault.
I hadn’t prepared her.
“My sister likes you very much,” she said.
Okay—that would do.
“I hope you enjoyed your special dinner,” added
Pam.
“I did,” replied Madison. “It was great.”
I moved
to stand next to him, wanting badly to take the rejected right hand into mine,
wanting to hold onto it forever.
“She doesn’t do it often,” Pam reported. “But Paige
is a very good cook.”
Had we almost made it to normal, I marveled,
feeling the tension ease a bit in my body. Finally I could relax enough to take
off my coat.
“Can I get you a cup of coffee?” Pam asked
Madison while I draped the coat over the back of one of the chairs at the
kitchen table.
“I’m sorry,” Madison replied just as I was
removing another chair to leave space for his wheelchair. “I’d like to stay but
I just got a message from my office. I’m gonna need to get going. Just wanted
to come in and say hello.”
“You have to go now?” I asked leaving the chair
in the middle of the floor.
Nothing in Madison’s demeanor or expression suggested anything more than duty was calling, but I was certain his immediate exit was due to Pam’s funky handshake. I couldn’t blame him either. I just wished he had allowed me to take the bus.
“Pam,” he smiled. “Nice meeting you.”
“I’m glad you stopped by,” Pam replied. “Maybe you can come for dinner sometime, meet the rest of the family.”
“I’d like that.”
“Good.”
Niceties all done, Madison backed up his chair,
“I’ll call you later,” he said to me before turning towards the sliding doors.
“I’ll walk you out,” I replied, hurrying to get
the door for him.
“See you later, Pam,” he tossed over his
shoulder and rolled out onto the patio.
As a security precaution when the kids were much younger, Ted had installed the gate latch high upon the gate so that they couldn’t reach it, making it pretty much out of Madison’ reach too. He waited while I opened the gate. I was definitely buying one of those portable ramps. No backdoors for Madison Reese, not on my account anyway. I would consult him about the best kind to buy but I would pay for it with my own money.
Following him back down the narrow paved path leading to the driveway, the silence was distressing me. Should I apologize for Pam or just let it go? I was anxious for a clue from him. An apology might make too much of it. And she would never do it again, I was going to make sure of that. But was he upset? He had agreed to have coffee with us. Had there really been a message from the office? Maybe it just didn’t matter. We had had the most wonderful Valentine’s Day. Nothing could change that. And he was a one-woman kind of man.
“Will we see each other tonight?” I finally
asked when we reached his car, as I rubbed my arms against the morning chill.
“Are you working today?” he wanted to know.
“No,” I smiled guiltily. “I thought I’d play
hooky.”
“How ‘bout I call you later? I may work a little
later since I‘m going in late.”
That hurt. But surely this was not the
morning-after-brush-off. No, this was about what had happened in the kitchen.
He just wasn’t admitting it. When Madison reached to open the car door, I
jumped in front of him, pressing my hip against it to keep it closed.
“Paige--”
“You said we could work through it, Madison. The
stupid stuff.”
“No it’s not. You’re upset. I should have warned
you. Pam’s always been like that--”
“I’m gonna be late, Paige. Let’s talk about it
later.”
“Just a little while ago you weren’t so worried about being late.”
He let go of the car door.
“Okay. You want to talk about it right now. Let’s talk about your sister’s face when she saw me. She didn’t know, did she? You didn’t tell her.”
Guilty as charged, I was silent.
“Why didn’t you tell her, Paige? Were you
embarrassed? Because your boyfriend’s a gimp?”
“I didn’t tell her because it’s not important.”
A dark smile twisted Madison’s beautiful mouth as he shook his head.
“Paige--”
“It’s not, Madison,” I said earnestly. “I’m not
disconnected from reality if that’s what you’re thinking. It just doesn’t
matter to me. It’s not a flaw. I don’t have to explain it, or apologize for it.
Oh Madison, being with you…I think I’m in—I think I’m really lucky. So no, I
didn’t tell them. I should have. I told you I did. And I was going to.” I
shivered. “But if you’re going to be mad at me about something be mad about the
fact that I didn’t tell the truth at first. Don’t be mad because you think I’m
embarrassed by you.”
“You’re cold,” Madison said.
“Then give me your coat, Sir Walter Raleigh.”
A brief dry chuckle left a smile behind on his
face.
“How ‘bout we just get in the car?”
Once we were inside, Madison started the engine
and turned up the heat. Soon the air was warm all around us even if things were still
frosty between us. I had had my turn, now it was his, and I waited with the forced
patience of a trained professional.
“I tend to get kinda hyper about these things,
Paige,” Madison eventually said staring at the dashboard. “Maybe I’m just still
getting used to it, you know. What it means. They can teach you how to do
things without your hands, without your legs, but the hardest part is how to be without them. Every morning when I
wake up, for a single second I’m still that guy that used to jump out of bed
and hit the streets. A second later this body says that’s not me anymore. But
it’s wrong, Paige. I am still that guy.” He looked at me. His golden brown eyes
were darker, somber. “And I know you've seen him. You saw him the first night I met
you.”
Smiling softly, remembering that night, I nodded.
“I want him to be with you, Paige. That guy
deserves you. But this body…I know it can get in the way. I need to be
sure you can see him still. The man I really am.”
“I see him,” I said in a voice husky with
emotion. “More clearly every day. And now night.”
I smiled a little again.
“Be real with me, Paige. Don’t make believe.”
“I don’t need to, Madison.”
At last I took his right hand between both of
mine. His damaged body was beautiful to me because he was that man of the first
second and the next, and the next… Not now, but someday I would help him to
appreciate his body and admire it. For now, I was happy to do it for him.
“You’re not perfect though,” I reminded him. “You’re a little lecturey sometimes, and I’m pretty sure you think you’re the smartest person in the room. And you’re definitely a control freak. Although that might be good, so it can keep me in check.”
A splendid smile filled Madison’s face.
“Now see here, Ms. Robinson,” he responded. “If
we’re going to start listing faults--”
“Save it for later, counselor,” I cut him off
with a kiss. “You are very late for work.”
******
Ah man, I love this story more and more with each chapter. I am really enjoying watching it unfold. Thought for sure after the last chapter, anything that followed would feel anticlimatic, but instead you've just done a beautiful job of deepening their relationship.
ReplyDeleteFinally! I've checking for this update all week! :)
ReplyDeleteYou're a great writer, very captivating. I'm eager for more.
I seriously have tears in my eyes right now. I love Paige so much. I just want to hug her.
ReplyDeleteI love the whole part about his still being the same person, but his body getting in the way, and knowing that Paige saw him that way the first time they met...
This was such a perfect, wonderful scene. Was so excited when I took a break from studying for my ASL test and saw you'd posted the next chapter.
The entire chapter was perfect. I especially loved your last line--I'm still smiling.
ReplyDeleteHeartbreakingly beautiful.
ReplyDeleteMore, please!
Loved it! So sweet and hot. Just how a Valentine's date to end. Tearing up and sighing dreamy sighs. Please post more!!! Jacksongirl
ReplyDeleteA great story! Thank you for the update!
ReplyDeleteAnxiously awaiting your next update! Please do it soon :)
ReplyDeleteGosh, that was fantastic! Dying for more!! Thanks for writing this.
ReplyDelete