Tuesday, February 25, 2014

No Strings Attached Chapter 10

Jason spent the rest of the night busy with answering one call after the next. He really should have had another person there with him. It had been getting really busy on weekends. After his shift he was exhausted like he had done actual physical work. He chatted a little with his coworker Peter who came in at 6 am in the morning to relieve Jason. With his backpack hanging over the handles of his wheelchair he then wished Peter a good day and left.
He usually wheeled home; it took about 15-20 minutes. He didn’t live too far from his work. The job was important to him, it was the only other income he and his dad had aside from the small Social Security his dad received and some food stamps. Jason’s income paid all the bills to live on and there was not much left after that. He really wanted a car with hand controls but it had to stay a dream for now.  He pushed the thoughts of his miserable finances out of his head, Ariana didn’t care about his money or what he had; she just wanted his body. Deep inside he felt a slight sting thinking about that fact but successfully pushed even that aside and wheeled down the sidewalk. It was warm already and the sunrise cast the houses in a bright yellow light. The light and the heat in Vegas; it almost never changed. There was hardly any rain, grey skies or gloomy fog, the Northern California weather he sometimes missed. It was almost like everyone was forced to be happy and full of sun and light, even though the situation may be totally different. On some days he didn’t feel like sun and light, he wanted to be moody and grumpy but the sun kept all the bad moods in check, it just wasn’t permitted in the city of sin.

He couldn’t stop thinking about Ariana though and what had happened during the night. Considering all the doubts about everything she had actually made him feel good. No matter how he looked at it, the way she wanted him did give him a certain ego boost. The days of him being with a woman had been so long ago, he couldn’t even remember when he felt like this the last time. Ariana was a woman he would have always dreamt about and now she was in his life. He hoped it wouldn’t be too long until he would see her again. At home his dad was already up in the kitchen drinking his morning coffee and reading the paper when Jason rolled into the trailer, “Morning son.”
“Morning dad.”
 “How was your night?”
 “Busy, you know Saturday night, lots of people partying out there. I am beat.”

Jason couldn’t tell his dad about the visit by Ariana. His dad probably wouldn’t be too happy about it and worry about Jason getting in trouble if anyone would find out. The only people who knew were Andy and Jose, the cab drivers who had brought and picked up Ariana. Jason needed that job and couldn’t risk losing it. Ariana could never come there again though. He spent about two hours hanging out with his dad. While he was watching the morning news on TV he felt very tired and knew it was time for him to lie down and get some sleep before he would have to go to work again at night.

It was Sunday and Jason had two more nights of work ahead of him after this one. He would be off for two days and he was hoping he would be able to see Ariana again. When he was finally done in the bathroom, he parked his chair by his room and swiftly pulled himself up on the rope and transferred over to the small chair and wheeled to his bed. He laid in his bed with his cell phone in his hand and typed a message to Ariana, “Hey Ariana, hope you made it home safely this morning. I am trying to get some sleep now; I have to work again tonight. Your visit last night surprised me big time but I am glad you came. I can’t wait to see you again and spend more time with you. I hope it won’t be too long until we see each other again. Have a good weekend. J.” Exhausted and tired he adjusted his legs side by side on the bed, pushed his body down and fell asleep quick, Ariana the last thing on his mind.

Ariana had gone to bed after she got home that morning. She still had doubts about the proposition to Jason but then again she just couldn’t resist him. She didn’t want to hurt him and wanted to make sure he was o.k. with the proposition. On Sunday after she got up she decided to go to the gym. As she straightened her purse she found her cell phone and saw the text message from Jason. She smiled when she read it and thought of her reply, ”I hope you will get enough sleep my sweet boy! I will be thinking of you until I see you again in your wheelchair wearing your braces!!! Ariana.” She sent it off and smiled to herself.
Her gym was in walking distance to her apartment and she headed out around noon. It didn’t look like she would have a job on that Sunday and she was o.k. with that.

Jason woke up around 5:30 in the afternoon and his first glance went to his cell phone and he saw Ariana’s message. He read over it twice and he felt his heart beat a little bit faster. She wanted to see him in his wheelchair and in his braces. He slightly shook his head because he still didn’t know what to think about her wanting him that way. He had never ever met someone like her. His head fell back on the pillow and he looked up at the ceiling thinking. Why was she attracted to him in that way? He didn’t understand but how could he have turned down her proposition. He had no one, he had not had a women in his life for two years and the ones he had had did not even come close to Ariana. He had not gone out a lot lately and even though the few friends he still had left would sometimes come around and try to talk him in getting out more but he had not even had time to think about women. He was busy with his job, trying to make ends meet for him and his dad and life had just been a rut. Ariana was like from another planet for him, from another world and at the same time opening another world for him. He wanted someone, he wanted to be touched and he wanted to touch someone and Ariana had proposed exactly that to him and how could he resist an offer like that with a woman like her. He lay in his bed thinking and he typed, “Hey Ariana, thanks for your reply. It put a smile on my face. Laters, J.”

His dad appeared in the door frame, “Hey son! Are you awake?”
Jason lifted his head up and pushed the pillow under it to be somewhat propped up, “Yeah, Hey dad.”
His dad walked into the room and stood next to Jason’s bed, “I am going to the store with Deb and John. Do you need anything?”
Jason thought for a moment, “Actually yeah, I do need some stuff. Can I write it down for you?” Darryl nodded, “I will be right back.” 

Jason got a pen and piece of paper from his night table and pushed himself up with his hands to a sitting position, leaning on his head board and thinking about the items he needed from the store. Usually on Sundays, their neighbors Deb and John would take Jason and his dad to Riley’s supermarket with them so they could get their shopping done for the week. Sometimes Jason would go along if he was up on time or off. He would let Darryl go by himself today and take his time in the bathroom and getting ready for work at night. He was still processing the events of the night and the fact that Ariana had actually come to visit him. It almost felt like it had been a dream and not even really happened. He knew she had been drinking and hoped that her visit had not just been something she had decided spontaneously under the influence. Jason eventually had his list of the things he needed from the store.

His dad came back in, “You made your list?” Jason nodded and handed Darryl the note.
After a moment of looking at the note Darryl asked curiously, “Am I reading that right?”
Jason looked up at his dad questioningly, “What?”
Jason looked down a little embarrassed, “Yeah…”
Darryl smiled, “Son, I haven’t bought condoms in centuries, I have no clue what they have in the stores and what you want.”
Jason looked up “Dad, really…just a pack of Trojans, plain ole’ condoms, that is what I want.” 
“So, you and that woman, is it still going on then?”
Jason nodded looking down shyly, “I think so.”
Darryl asked carefully, glancing at Jason's lower body “So, everything down there is still in order?”
Jason shook his head, “I am not sure, I guess we will see.”
Darryl waved his hand up, “O.k., I will get those for you and try to be discreet.”
“Thanks dad.”
His dad walked out, “I will see you later then. Try to get some rest before you go to work.”
“I will. See you later or tomorrow…I am leaving at 8:15 for work.” With that Darryl walked out still surprised about the item on Jason’s list. He didn’t think Jason had a need for condoms anymore since his injury.

The nightshifts were strenuous on Jason. Work in itself was not always easy. He was forced to get up, get in his chair and out of the house though which was a good thing because without his job he may have never left the trailer. It still cost him lots of strength to get ready and it didn’t help that the trailer was really not very practical for him at all. He wished every day that his wheelchair would just be right next to his bed and he could just transfer over but instead he had to use another chair, which cost strength, and was exhausting for him, then having to pull himself up into his actual chair. The bathroom was just big enough but not a whole lot of room for him to maneuver in. With his wheelchair he barely made it through the door of the bathroom. He envied some of the paraplegic guys he knew from the Internet groups he was on. Some of them had newly built homes fully accessible for their needs. Usually those guys had gotten paid a large sum of insurance money and were able to have their homes modified to their needs. He wished so much to have a place like that. A modified car with hand controls would have been wonderful too, nothing big or luxurious, just a simple car to make him mobile in other ways than his chair. A car would have enabled him to join the world out there again, the world beyond his trailer park and his job! He could go places, travel a little, and drive to work, maybe pick up a date in it, pick up Ariana with it and take a trip to Northern Cali. He was lost in his day dreams until he heard the front door shut as his dad left.

Ariana had met up with friends for dinner, having a good time laughing and chatting.
Eventually her friend Cheryl asked her, “Hey, what is up with the guy you are seeing? Melody mentioned something...”
Ariana smiled, “Melody can’t keep her mouth shut….it’s nothing...just a guy I met at the clinic and I thought he was hot and I wanted to see him again.”
“Well, are you seeing him still?”
 “Yeah, we are just starting out…I will see him again sometime. It is nothing serious.”
 “Is it true, that he is disabled or something?”
 Ariana was surprised how her roommate Melody had already spilled the gossip, “That Melody, just can’t keep anything to herself really…yeah, he is paraplegic…I want to see how it is.”
Cheryl looked at her questioning, “So, what are you saying? You are using him or something?” “Don’t put it like that…I want to get to know him and stuff…I am just curious and he is hot to me, I want a piece of him. I have nothing to lose, he knows that I don’t want anything serious so it comes out a plus for both of us, he can have some fun with me, and I get to experiment with a paraplegic guy.”
Cheryl laughed, “You are cold! Why are you so mean to the guys you meet?”
Ariana leaned her head, “What are you talking about? I am not mean…”
“You could have all these guys but as soon as it gets just a bit serious you run for the hills. Why are you so scared to commit just a tiny bit?”
Ariana rolled her eyes, “I don’t know. That whole deal with Trey just messed me up. I loved him. I am just not ready to get into another relationship.”
“Ariana, it has been like two years…”
“Yeah, and I am not ready yet. I am o.k. with the way things are.”
“What do you want with that disabled guy then? What is his name anyways?”
 Ariana looked back at Cheryl, “His name is Jason.”
“Do you have a pic?”
“No, I will take one next time I see him. He is a hottie but I think it may be difficult for him to meet women so I want to show him a good time.”
Cheryl sighed, “So, it is a pity thing?”
Ariana shook her head quickly, “Gosh no, I am not going to help him do stuff or whatever. I mean yeah, it is messed up that he is in a wheelchair and paralyzed and all that but it is not a pity thing. I don’t even know how long he has been like that and what happened.”
Cheryl shook her head slightly, “You are just being a selfish bitch, Ariana.”
They were laughing and they pretended to wrestle while Ariana said, “Selfish yourself…you little brat!”
Ariana stopped wrestling with Cheryl and her expression turned serious, ”Cheryl, do you really think it is selfish of me?”
Cheryl replied, “Well, a little selfish at least. I mean you have to make sure that this guy doesn’t get his hopes up for a more serious thing with you like an actual relationship. He hasn’t been with a girl in a while; he may be desperate to find someone and especially if he is disabled and stuff. Just really make sure he knows that you don’t want anything serious with him.”
Ariana thought for a moment, “Yeah, I will make sure. I told him already though but I will make sure.”
Cheryl continued, “Yeah, because if he wants more out of this you need to stop this right now before someone gets hurt.”
Ariana sighed, “O.k. O.k.”
They dropped the topic “Jason” and Ariana was trying to enjoy the rest of the evening, the words of Cheryl still echoing in her head though and making her think hard about her agenda with Jason.

The weekend went by; Jason was busy at work on Sunday night and worked Monday and Tuesday. He didn’t text Ariana but was waiting for a message from her. He didn’t want to seem too desperate but he couldn’t help thinking about her and when he would see her again. He was off Wednesday and Thursday, then worked Friday and was off the whole weekend. He wanted to let her know that he had time and maybe they could meet up. On Wednesday morning as he came home from work and still hadn’t heard from Ariana he decided he would text her. As he lay in his bed around 10 am he held his phone and texted her, “Hey Ariana, remember me, Jason…J Just wanted to let you know that I am off today, tomorrow and the weekend. I only work Friday this week. Do you want to meet? I would like to take you out to dinner. Laters, J.”
When he didn’t hear anything back from Ariana a little while later he put his phone back on his night table. He was a bit disappointed that she hadn’t replied right away but reminded himself not to seem too needy. While he lay there trying not to feel needy he felt just a slight longing inside his heart for her reply and hoped she wouldn’t have changed her mind about seeing him again. He thought about Saturday night and hoped he hadn’t acted too clumsy with her that night. He thought his kissing had been good and he also thought she was turned on but he wasn’t all the way sure. Maybe she just pretended to be turned on. He threw the doubtful thoughts out because they made him feel bad.

Ariana had a day time job on that Wednesday, she escorted a middle age businessman to a conference and luncheon at the Wynn, it was a casual job, not formal in any way. The conference was attended by people from the Computer gaming industry and Ariana actually had a good time, most of the attendees were in her age group. She witnessed some interesting conversations and her client was respectful and well mannered. She had her phone deep inside her purse and didn’t see Jason’s text until she left the Wynn in a taxi after the sendoff tea with the businessman. She pulled her phone out and saw his message. Unfortunately she couldn’t meet him that week, she was almost booked out and the only night she was off was Friday when Jason had to work.
She texted Jason back, “Hey sweet boy Jason, of course I remember you. Did you have any doubts about that? I hope notJ. Don’t give up on us yet, but I am totally busy this week. How is next week looking for you?” She sent the text message off.

Jason had only slept until about 4 o'clock that day. It was his day off and he didn’t want to sleep too long. He stayed in his bed for another hour trying to keep slight spasms in his legs in check when his phone finally announced a message from Ariana. The first initial excitement turned to disappointment when he read the message just to realize that Ariana didn’t have time for him for a couple more days. He read over the message twice and then replied, “Too bad, I was really looking forward to see you but I understand if you are busy and all. In case you change your mind or are not so busy I will be here, not that I am “going” anywhere. Next week I am off on Thursday and Friday.” He sent the message and let his head fall back on the pillow with a sigh. He had expected to see Ariana this week but apparently she had lots of other things going on in her life, and he not being her priority.
Ariana wrote back, “Jason! Are you mad?”
“Why am I getting this vibe from you with your “going nowhere” comment L…”
He was irritated at her seemingly busy life and the next comment came out impulsively, “You just seem very busy. Are you really interested in seeing me again, Ariana? If you want to forget about all of this please let me know before I invest anymore time and energy into this thing.”
Ariana’s message came quickly, “Jason, I am sorry I am busy in the next couple of days but I still want to see you as soon as I can. It is just a busy time right now. We could really have fun when we both have time but if you are going to make this difficult maybe I need to rethink my proposition. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea.”
Jason felt his heart beat quickly reading Ariana’s reply. How could he be so stupid to almost mess this up? She was a busy woman, all right! He just needed to relax and not focus his life around her. How could he not though? It was easier said than done. She was the first really good thing in his life in a long time and he was about to screw it up for himself.
He cursed through his teeth and thought for a moment, “Ariana, I am sorry! I guess I was just expecting to see you this week. I understand you are busy and I would really like to meet up whenever is good for you. There is just not a whole lot of stuff going on for me besides my work.”
“I am sorry Jason! I do want to see you again as soon as I can. Please be patient for me. How about next week Friday?”
He replied, “Sounds good to me. If you are bored in between feel free to text me.”
“Of course I will text you in between. So Friday is a deal then?”
“Yeah, it is a deal.”
“We can talk about details next week then. You need to stay sweet for me, Jason.”
He sat there looking at her comment about staying sweet and even though he still felt the disappointment he wasn’t going to say anything else about it except, “I will try.”
“Good! TTYL then?” There it was; her quick finish. Jason felt a sting in his heart at the sudden end to the messaging. He wanted to write with her about so much more; about her work, his work, his day, his days off, about all kinds of things but she didn’t seem to care too much about all that. He thought about writing “Miss you!” but he changed his mind and instead he wrote his finish like he would to any other person, “Yep! Looking forward to next week. Have a good rest of this week. I will talk to you later. Take care!”
“You too,J

He laid his head back and another curse word hushed over his lips. Ariana was definitely in his head; she was messing with it already. Two weeks of not seeing her. If she really cared about him she would have made some time in between. He felt bad about the whole situation and reminded himself about the proposition. It was only going to be sexual, no strings attached, nothing serious, just plain old sex because she felt he was so hot in his wheelchair or with his braces on. He felt agitated and thoughts were racing through his head, thoughts of her, the proposition, his life and the choice he had, which was really no choice at all. He could drop out of this at any time, which is what she had said. She really didn’t care on any deeper level for him. Apparently she was really just a friend with benefits! Lowly he talked to himself, “You idiot! Just go with this. Just let her see you when she wants to. It is in her hands, she is in charge and you just need to deal with it. Not that you have a ton of women lined up in front of this fucking trailer, if this chick wants to only fuck you, you just need to let it happen and stop whining….”
He was mad at himself and he was mad at Ariana for being so shallow. She had brought him to apologize to her because he was scared to lose whatever he could have with her, not sure what that would be. With a “Shit!” he quickly pulled himself up to a sitting position, ready to make his way to his wheelchair right outside his door, standing there seemingly grinning at him, the one thing that made it possible for him to get around and live a half way decent life. He felt bad and he wanted to get done in the shower and bathroom quickly to start his two days off with a buzz. He wanted a drink really bad, the way he had spent many his days at home for the last two years. His dad always got on to him for it and had told him he needed to lay off on the drinking but he couldn’t stop him and Jason always made sure there was booze and beer in the house. He used to smoke but that stopped very quickly when he lay in the ICU with a tracheotomy in his throat for 4 weeks. His one lung had been punctured in the accident and with the trauma to his body he could barely breathe on his own for a while. One good thing that came out of the accident was that he quit smoking.

Jason sat on the tub chair under the shower stream. With one hand he was holding on to the handle attached to the wall of the bathtub and he let the water run over his face thinking about everything. The water ran in trails over his arms and chest down to his pubic hair and made its way into the bottom of the tub. In his healthy days Jason had gotten some tattoos. One covered his right arm from his shoulder down to the middle of his lower arm, tribal signs and some depicting animals in Northwestern native art. After his brother Brandon had gotten shot and killed he had acquired another tattoo across his heart of a wolf surrounded by a forest and mountain scene with Brandon’s name under it. The death of Brandon had left a huge gap in his life and on so many occasions he imagined how things would have been if Brandon would still be around. He felt the warmth of the water on his face and arms, no sensation of heat on his legs, just nothing! He wouldn’t have even felt if the water would have been boiling hot on his legs. Before he would get into the tub he always had to test the warmth of the water with his hands and arms so it wouldn’t be too hot. His legs had been slightly spastic since he had gotten up and as he looked down at his legs he saw the sudden twitches and jumps, the constant battle between his body and his brain trying to send signals but not getting through his spinal cord anymore to some parts of his body which had fallen silent and still. It had taken him a long time to get to a point of some acceptance of his fate but every once in a while he still looked at his legs and he hated everything about them, the skinny and bony limbs which were attached to him but had no use anymore. He wondered what Ariana would think about them and his naked body. How could a woman be into that? His eyes travelled to his limp cock which had endured the same fate as his legs, still and lifeless. On a couple of occasions he had tried to get hard by using his hands but he had to rub his cock like a crazy person to get some kind of weak erection, not enough to come anymore and not enough to even think about penetrating a woman. He used to love sex just like any guy. He had had his share of girls in his life and it had been a fun part of his life and from one moment to the next that part was taken away from him along with a ton of dignity, self-esteem and confidence. He stared at his cock for a moment and then mumbled to himself, “What the fuck are you thinking? Why do think you need condoms? Idiot!”

Dressed only in his lounge pants and socks he wheeled into the kitchen to eat a bite. His dad was outside somewhere probably chatting with some of the neighbors. The tenants of the trailer park had constructed a small sitting area with a Koi pond under some of the trees bordering the trailer park and the older people would meet there for a chat quite often in the evening hours when it wasn’t as hot anymore. Jason was o.k. being by himself for a bit; it did sometimes get old to always have his dad there. He didn’t have lots of alone time and privacy and always felt obligated to talk to his dad and give him attention. Now he just enjoyed the silence and not having to talk to anyone but just pondering in his thoughts about Ariana and himself and their situation. He ate a sandwich at the table checking his email and Facebook on his phone. With a small cooler with ice and three beers in it and one bottle already popped open tucked between his thighs he wheeled into the living room. He set the cooler on the side table by the couch, the open bottle next to it and transferred onto the couch. He preferred not sitting upright when he got a buzz going. Usually he would get wobbly when drinking and he had fallen out of his chair under the influence on a few occasions and it made his dad very mad. The texting with Ariana had left him frustrated because he now knew he wouldn’t see her until the next week. If he turned her on so much why did she make him wait so long? He took a big gulp from the bottle in his hand and ended up watching some old movie on TV but only halfway focusing on the movie because his thoughts still circled around Ariana.

Jason was on his third beer when his dad walked in at almost 8 p.m. He glanced over at Jason and looked a bit annoyed when spotting the two empty bottles on the small coffee table next to the couch and Jason holding another bottle in his hand, “What are you doing, Jay?”
Jason felt a buzz already and grinned at his dad, “Nothing dad. Come on, cut me some slack, I worked my ass off these past couple of days, my girl just announced she can’t see me until next Friday and I am about to shove a tube up my dick to let this yellow gold drain…”
He laughed and Darryl knew that Jason was getting drunk, “I think you are done Jay.” Jason drank the last couple of ounces in one large gulp and quickly took the fourth bottle, twisting the cap off when his dad came over and took the bottle out of Jason’s hand before he could have a sip from it. Jason got mad, “Dad, give me my beer!”
Darryl set the bottle on the counter in the kitchen, ”Jason, I said you are done!” Usually when Jason got drunk he got angry at his life and started remembering stuff from before the accident.
He now looked at his dad with small eyes, “Give me the beer, dad.”
Jason sat up with a growl and was about to transfer into his chair with the intention to wheel over to the counter and grabbing the bottle. His dad stood by the counter and watched Jason transfer into his chair kind of wobbly. He put his hands to the rims, struggling to hold himself upright as he wheeled over to the counter and just when he got there his dad took the bottle away and poured the beer out into the sink.
Jason got angry now, “What the fuck, dad? I am an adult and I can drink when and however much I want.”
Just then he felt a spasm rip through his right leg and he held on to the counter, breathing quickly, “Fuck!”
His head hung and he leaned over somewhat only holding on slightly to the counter keeping himself from falling over. Another side effect of the drinking was usually stronger spasms and Jason hated the fact that the drinking triggered spasms almost every time and made him feel bad and weak.
His dad walked over to him and said somewhat loudly, “Jay, this is why….usually you get spastic when you drink and then you can’t take your meds because of the drinking. It is a vicious cycle, son and you should know by now that your drinking days are over.”
Jason hissed through his clenched teeth as he held out against another spasm, “No, I want to drink…I don’t care….that is all I have left when I feel like crap. You won’t let me bring pot into this place so let me have my damn beer….why are you doing this to me? Give me another fucking beer!”
His dad answered angrily, “No, you need to go to your bed Jason!”
Jason now sat up and screamed at his dad, “No…”
He put his hand to his rims and wheeled to the fridge, ripping open the door, pulling another bottle out, twisting off the cap and drinking in large gulps. His dad stood by considering if he should step in or let Jason be. Jason obviously was not feeling good that evening and he watched him drink the beer in a few gulps, then wiping over his mouth and waiting out another spasm, holding his leg down with his hands. He really felt the alcohol in his blood now and he really knew he should stop the drinking but he did feel bad and the alcohol had done its part to make him feel even worse.

He said with his head hanging, “Why the fuck can‘t she make time for me on my off days this weekend? Why does she make me wait until next week?”
His dad realized that this was about the woman he had met.
He sat down on a chair next to Jason by the kitchen table, “Is that what is going on with you, Jason?”
Jason just nodded and said softly, “She came to my work on Saturday night and got all hot and horny on me and then left so fast, now telling me she doesn’t have time until next Friday….I wanted to see her this weekend.”
Darryl replied softly, ”Well, you getting wasted is not going to bring her here this weekend, Jason. Maybe she is just a busy gal. Where does she work?”
Jason laughed sarcastically, keeping his head down, “She is an escort, dad.”
Darryl was surprised to hear that, “An escort….like a prostitute?”
Jason looked up, “She told me she doesn’t sleep with all of those guys…”  

Darryl was somewhat suspicious now and hoped that his son didn’t get into something he couldn’t really handle. Jason held his leg from bouncing out of the chair and cursed lowly, then drinking from the bottle again. Darryl watched his son and he knew Jason wouldn’t be able to keep this up and he would be tired in just a little while and hopefully not deal with the spasms getting worse. He would have to help him get into his bed and he would feel bad, because he wouldn’t be able to take any meds for the spasms.
While Jason held his leg Darryl held out his hand, “Give me that bottle, I really think you are done, Jay.”

Without a fight Jason handed his dad the bottle and spun his wheelchair around toward the kitchen table. He felt wobbly and dizzy and felt another spasm travel up from his leg into his hips and belly, making him feel very sick. He had to breathe quicker, holding on to the rims on his chair and letting his head hang. Darryl knew that Jason would be looking at a rough night and he was prepared to stay up helping him through the spasms, “We should get you to your bed, Jason.”

Just when he said it he saw Jason clenching his teeth at another spasm and shortly after dark moisture appeared on his pants in the groin area.
Jason saw it too and said lowly, “What the fuck? Shit.”
Darryl sighed and said calmly, “Let’s get you to the bathroom.”
He got up and since he knew Jason never wanted him to push him he waited for Jason to put his hands to his rims and start to wheel himself toward the bathroom.
He hissed through his teeth again, “Fuck!”
In the bathroom he felt dizzy and Darryl had to assist him getting his jeans off and cleaning him up, helping him insert the catheter, letting the urine drain from his bladder into the toilet and then helping him into some adult incontinence briefs, because he knew that Jason would be peeing a lot with all the beer he had drank. Jason was silently enduring and accepting his dad’s help because he knew he was too drunk, his hands were too shaky to even insert the catheter tubing into his urethra and he was weak enough he almost fell out of his chair, Darryl barely holding him up before he would tumble over forward.
They parked the wheelchair by his bedroom and Darryl put all his strength to use putting his arms under Jason’s arms and pulling him across the floor and getting to the bed. It was difficult and strenuous, the two men struggling to make it to the bed. Darryl wasn’t the strongest anymore since his illness and he could only help Jason to a certain extent before his own strength would let him down. Jason was still a 5 ft. 9in. tall guy and even though his legs had lost a lot of muscle tissue since his accident he still weighed about 155 pounds. Jason finally lay in his bed, breathing in gasps and feeling dizzy. Darryl adjusted his legs on the bed and draped the sheets over him. The spasms were now coming and going constantly and were taking its toll on Jason.
His dad got some water and also a cold rag he wiped over Jason’s forehead as he sat on the edge of the bed and said softly, “You idiot…why did you drink so much?”
He felt more bad for Jason than mad at him because he had seen it many times when Jason had been drinking he was pretty much down for a while and didn’t really get out of his bed for a few days. He had one more day off and then was supposed to work on Friday, he knew that wouldn’t happen. Jason would probably have to call out sick and spent his off days in the bed now. He was battling one spasm after the next and it went on like that all night. Darryl didn’t go to bed but instead stayed up checking on Jason constantly, wiping the rag over his sweaty face and massaging him a little when another spasm hit. Jason was having difficulties breathing with the spasms shooting up through his lower body all the way to where the paraplegia started right under his breast bone, still affecting his lungs, which usually were pretty weak during an attack like this. Jason didn’t say much at all, only trying to make it through the night with his father by his side like many times before. It was almost morning when the spasms finally let off and Jason was able to close his eyes and get some rest. His dad had fallen asleep on the recliner in the living room, the TV lowly running in the background; he was still alert at any sign of distress from Jason though. Jason drifted off into a deep sleep, he was exhausted from the battle and he was usually in a state of mind without many words, just dealing with his disability as calm as possible without letting anger and frustration of his fate set in, which was sometimes a battle in itself. He spent Thursday in his bed, exhausted and unable to get up, his body battered by the spasms the night before and mentally down keeping him from doing much at all. He didn’t check his phone, he didn’t check his email, he didn’t want to get up and maybe lay in the living room to watch TV, he lay silently either staring at the ceiling, keeping his emotions under control and thinking about how this was going to work out between him and Ariana. If she would have seen him in the agony he was in the night before, being fully depending on some kind of assistance from his dad, having lost control of his most intimate urges and peeing himself, not being able to sit upright anymore and having difficulties just breathing in a regular pattern, he doubted she would find him sexy at all. She had no idea what he dealt with on a daily basis and how much control the paraplegia had over his body and mind. Darryl kept checking in on him and brought him something to eat and drink, which Jason took in his bed. He kept fighting the urge to text Ariana. He wanted to let her know that he didn’t do good, that he felt sick and bad, that his body had cheated him out once again but he knew the only reason he wanted to let her know was to make her feel bad for him and it wasn’t right.



  1. She better make it up to him, poor fellow!
    Very engrossing stuff.
    Can't wait to see where you are going.

  2. More waiting for desperate Jason. If Ariana doesn't pity him I do! But if like her friends I find her selfish I think she also has feelings and does the whole thing not only to use him as a sex object! Will see...

  3. I'm really enjoying this, It's great to have an entirely new take on a relationship, as you are writing, here.

  4. I've been in Jason shoes, I feel so sorry for him. I hope Ariana doesn't break his heart. Love this story and your writing gets better every chapter.

  5. i think this great story! thanks dani...