It was quiet in the trailer park when Jason wheeled along the narrow paved drive way toward their trailer. As he approached he saw there was still light on inside and he knew his dad had probably stayed up because of him. He wheeled up the ramp and just as he pulled his key out to unlock the door his dad opened, “Hey son.”
“Dad, you’re still up?”
He wheeled by his dad who closed and locked the door. In the kitchen Jason spun around and looked at his dad.
Darryl looked tired, “Yeah, I wanted to stay up to make sure you get home all right. It is almost 1 o’clock.”
Jason smiled, “Dad, it’s 12:30...and I am an adult. I am o.k.”
His dad sat down on a chair at the kitchen table, “I know Jay, but you know what I am talking about.”
Jason looked down, and then up at his dad with a nod, “I know.”
He knew exactly what his dad was talking about. Jason was basically open prey for any thug or criminal and things could happen to him at any time, but he couldn’t let those things stop him from venturing out into the world sometime. He had been cooped up long enough.
His dad added with a smile, “Well, anyhow…I am glad you are home safe and sound. How was your date?”
Jason nodded smiling, “It was good… I had a very good time.”
“I am happy to hear that. So, are you going to see her again?”
Jason thought for a moment about his answer and he knew he couldn’t let his dad worry, “I hope so….probably yes.”
Darryl sensed a bit of uncertainty but he didn’t ask any questions. He wanted Jason to be happy again; it had been too long already for his son to be without someone, he was too young to spend his life alone and bitter pondering on his fate for the rest of his life. There had to be a woman out there for Jason and love him for the right reasons. He hoped very much that Ariana could be that woman for him. He couldn’t imagine leaving this world and his son ending up a lonely man. Jason had no idea that Darryl’s last medical check-up with labs two months ago had shown some more cancerous activity in the prostate and surrounding areas. Darryl had not brought it over himself to fill Jason in on the news about upcoming Chemo therapy treatments.
Jason put his hands on his rims, “Well, dad you should go to bed now and I am going to do the same because I am beat.”Darryl nodded, “Yes...” He got up from the chair, “Do you need me to help you with anything?” Jason looked down on his legs, “Actually, maybe…if you could help me get out of the braces.”
He wheeled over to the couch, “Maybe you can help me get them off here.”
He pulled his chair up to the couch and transferred over onto it. His dad stood by waiting and watching Jason adjust his legs. He had his head leaning up on the pillow and started to take off his shirt while his dad took off his shoes and then started to unbuckle all the cuffs. Jason unbuckled the back brace and felt the heat escape from under the brace. He pushed himself up a little and helped unbuckle his thigh cuffs.
His dad asked, “What did Ariana think about the braces?”Jason thought for a moment, “She actually likes them and she wants me to try to walk in them more often.” While unbuckling the left thigh cuff he mumbled, “Her apartment is on the freaking second floor…”
Darryl paused and looked up, “Oh, really…that is not good.”
Jason replied with a smile, “Tell me about it.”
“Well, that gives you a reason to wear them regularly now and keep practicing walking in them.”
Jason nodded still smiling, “Yeah, we will see. Are you willing to help me into them a couple of times a week?”
Darryl nodded, “Of course…I have no problem with that. It is not difficult for me to help you put them on if that is what you want. I would love to see you walk in them more often.”
Jason nodded and helped lift his legs out of the braces. He pushed himself up on his arms as his dad got the back brace out from under him, “Thanks dad!”
“I think I can get it from here if you want to go on to bed, it’s cool with me.”
Darryl stood up and took the RGO over to the recliner so Jason could transfer back into his wheelchair, “Well, I am going to bed then. Do you need anything else?”
Jason plopped into his chair, “I am good dad. Go to sleep!”
He looked at his dad slightly annoyed, trying to assure him that he was o.k. now. His dad tended to worry about him and wanting to help him all the time when he really could do most things on his own. He couldn’t depend on his dad forever.His dad finished up and told him Good Night and disappeared into the hallway to his bedroom while Jason wheeled into his bathroom to get ready himself. He needed to catheterize, brush his teeth and get ready for bed.
About 45 minutes later, Jason lay in his bed, taking his jeans and rest of his clothes off, slipped into some incontinence briefs with his lounge pants over them and put on some socks. His feet got cold easily and he didn’t feel how cold they would get sometimes and always tried to keep them warm. He was very exhausted at that point and adjusted his body to get somewhat comfortable. Just as he closed his eyes he heard his phone announce a text message and opening his eyes he took his phone from the night table. It was from Ariana and when he opened the message he saw the attached pictures of him and her in the bar, smiling happily into the camera.
He read her message, “Hey sweet boy! I wanted to send you some of the pics I took tonight, we look so good together. I can’t stop lusting over you, Jason. I wish we could have spent more time together and didn’t have to say Good Bye so quickly. Did you make it home all right? I sure hope so. I made it o.k., just thinking about you and me. Until we meet again I will be thinking of you and your amazing hands and fingersJ”Jason scanned over the pics again and had to admit they looked like a happy couple together. He was thinking about what to reply, “Hey Ariana, I just laid down to sleep. You wore me out tonight…in a good wayJ. I am really tired and exhausted. I hope it won’t be too long until we meet again. The pics came out really good, we do look good togetherJ. Thanks for a great night. See you soon!”
He sent the message off and even though he didn’t expect anything back anymore it didn’t take a moment and he got a reply, “I wore you out…you wore me out, I still feel the aftershocks J Hey, sleep good and dream something nice. Get some rest!”
“I will, you do the same. Text me tomorrow!”
“O.k. Night, Night my sweet boy.”
“Good Night, Ariana.”
He didn’t have a pet name for Ariana yet and he really couldn’t think of any name to call her so he stuck with Ariana. He clicked his phone off and laid it back on the table and his thoughts drifted to her. How much he wished to be with her right now but then again he was tired and didn’t feel very sexy at all lying there in his bed with his thick socks and incontinence briefs on. How would he ever be able to let her in on that? Probably never! He was just glad that the night had gone by without any embarrassing situation like peeing on himself or spasms. Everything had gone well and even though he had had such a great night he now was just very exhausted of keeping up with Ariana all night and his eyes fell shut and he feel into a deep sleep.
Ariana had looked through all the pictures on her phone and felt so happy seeing Jason and her in the pictures. She wanted to show the pictures to her friends and decided to go on Facebook and post them right then and there. She edited the description of the album “Me and my hot babe out on the town”.She posted her album so all her friends could see. It was late and she didn’t expect to get too many comments anymore but while she was at it, she typed Jason’s full name into the search function and shortly after a few Jason Flanagan’s came up and she found “her” Jason quickly when she saw the profile picture of him and clicked on it to make sure it was him. He had just a little bit of information for public view but his High School in Crescent City gave him away as well. Ariana sent him a friend request.
Saturday came around and Jason slept in until almost noon. He was relieved to have had a good night without any spasms. Saturday and Sunday he had to work and wasn’t looking forward to it. Friday night seemed almost like a dream now, like it had not even been real. He remembered Ariana, the dinner, the bar and then afterwards. It had been such a good evening for him. The pool game with the guys at the bar had been fun and a pleasant surprise to him making him consider about maybe actually hooking up with them again sometime to play. They seemed like a couple of decent guys.
Saturday was an uneventful day. His dad was unusually tired all day and laid around on the recliner most of the day. Jason sat at the kitchen table, checking his email. On Facebook he saw the friend request from Ariana, which he accepted. He clicked on her name to check out her FB profile. She had a long list of friends and as Jason scanned through them he felt odd, thinking about how he was possibly just another person added to her friends list. As he clicked on her photos he was surprised to find a bunch of the pictures from the night before on her profile already and he saw her description of the album. It did put a smile on his face, her considering him a “hot babe”. Looking at the pictures again he felt his heart beat thinking about her and the night before. He really liked the picture with Ariana on his lap, she laughed into the camera and he smiled shyly. It was a good picture of them but he wondered how long they could just keep this relationship going with no strings attached. He sent Ariana a message over FB thanking her for the friend request.
The rest of the day he didn’t do too much, he watched TV, played video games and hung around all day, His dad slept a lot and when he woke up around 3, he shifted on the couch and moaned, “I don’t know why I am so tired today.”Jason looked over at his dad, “Are you all right, dad?”
“Yes, just tired somehow.”
“Well, just rest then. You are o.k. though?”
“I am Jason, I am, don’t worry. How are you?”
“O.k. just hanging around until I have to go to work.”
Darryl sat up, “That’s right, you have to work tonight.”
Jason nodded, “It’s all good.”
Ariana also had a job for that night. She would meet a client at the Wynn; it was going to be a dinner party for a large IT company. After a shower she got dressed in her room, slipping in a green mini dress. She checked her phone and saw that Jason had accepted the friend request. She looked at his profile a little and checked out some of the TV shows he liked, some of his other Likes and his sports teams. He didn’t have many pictures on his profile but she came across one with him and what must have been his motorcycle. It was parked and he sat on it, wearing blue jeans, leather gloves and a leather jacket, one foot on the foot rest and the other leg on the ground, his helmet next to him on the seat, smiling into the camera. He still looked the same, maybe not as skinny as now and his hair a bit longer. She felt a slight pain looking at the picture because the bike apparently had become his fate eventually. As she looked at the other pictures, she saw one with him and another young man and she could tell it must have been his brother Brandon. They resembled each other smiling broadly into the camera. The picture must have been taken at the ocean, the wind was blowing their hair, but the sun was shining. Ariana assumed it was the Pacific, the picture apparently taken in Northern California. The water looked rough, waves crushing against a rocky, tree covered coastline.
There was no picture of Jason after the accident, none with him in his wheelchair or anything pointing to his disability. His profile picture was a close up and no wheelchair visible. There was not a trace of him not being the guy on the motorcycle anymore but a guy on another set of wheels. She also realized that he didn’t seem to be a very active FB user, a few recent comments on sports and the constant heat in Vegas but that was it. Most of the people on his friends list seemed to be from his hometown of Crescent City and maybe some relatives. Some girls’ faces among his friends but nothing seemed too deep, nothing pointing to past relationships or the likes. Ariana on the other hand had a friends list filled with acquaintances and close friends, coming to a number of 243 friends.
She sent a message to Jason, “Hey sweet boy! Thanks for accepting my friend request. You won’t regret it…J I miss you already. Getting ready for a job right now at the Wynn tonight. I will be thinking of you. I checked out your pics and I love the one with you on your motorcycle and the one with you and your brother. You guys looked very happy in the picture. Hope you don’t mind me tagging you in the pics I took last night. Well, I have to go and will be thinking of you! Have a good night at work. Hugs! Ariana.”
Ariana clicked off her FB application on her phone and finished getting ready for her job. At 7 pm she sat at a large round table with a Mr. Hunter Thompson, a middle age manager of a web design department of a large IT company. Hunter wasn’t very talkative and Ariana kept her conversation to a minimum as well. He didn’t seem too interested in talking a whole lot with her, but merely had her there for the company of a beautiful young woman all the others could admire. He treated her respectfully and made sure she had everything she needed. Ariana knew he wasn’t going to ask for more, which was perfectly fine for her. Her thoughts drifted off to Jason on more than one occasion and she imagined him sitting at work, his head set on, in his wheelchair, ordering taxis for people and deep inside she felt such a longing for him.
Jason had a busy night, it was obviously the weekend and people needed lots of taxis. In between answering calls he remembered the night Ariana had come to visit him. Now after thinking about his first initial suspicion he was glad he had let her in that night. If he would have turned her away he would have missed out on a great time with her.
When he checked his FB he saw the message from Ariana about the pictures he had in his profile. He had forgotten about the pictures as he had not updated his FB in a while. Seeing the picture with him on his bike gave him a sting in his heart. The one with him and Brandon made his heart ache even more. He thought about deleting the pictures but then decided to leave them up. Scanning over the pictures Ariana had tagged him in, he realized people would possibly see the wheelchair. Not everyone knew about his accident and how he was now and people would probably have questions. He decided not to untag the pictures though but left them on his timeline. He would deal with the questions if they would arise. He smiled at Ariana’s message and replied, “Ariana, thanks for the pics from our night out. They came out good. I had such a good time and I hope we can do it again very soon. I am really busy at work tonight, Saturday….everyone needs a taxi. I hope to hear from you tomorrow. Hope your job went well. Laters! J!” He thought about writing something like “Hug” but decided not to. Once again he didn’t want to sound too needy. The rest of the night he didn’t hear back from Ariana.
On Sunday morning he was relieved to get home. He was tired physically and tired from talking on the phone all night. His dad sat in the kitchen having his morning coffee as always and Jason sat up with him for a little while chatting and telling him about his night at work.
Once he was in his bed it didn’t take long for him to fall asleep, his last thoughts drifting off to Ariana. When he woke up later that afternoon he felt somewhat weak. For the last few days he had been dealing with unusual fatigue and an oncoming cough possibly announcing a cold. He didn’t know what exactly was going on but he did feel a bit off and stared at the ceiling. When he checked his phone there was no message from Ariana.
Sunday night he was busy at work again and when he didn’t hear from Ariana still during the night he pulled out his phone to send her a message, “Hey Ariana! It’s me…I thought I would hear from you today but didn’t. You must have been busy. I miss you and I hope I can see you this week. I am off Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. Let me know when you want to meet. I hope you want to see me.“ He thought for a moment and then added, “I am going to practice walking in my braces this week. Anyways, looking forward to hearing from you and seeing you soon. JJ”
He sent the message on its way. It was two o’clock in the morning and he put his coffee cup to his mouth and drank another sip. Why didn’t she text or call him? Playing everything over in his head he felt all had went very well on Friday night and he hoped she had not changed her mind about meeting with him. He didn’t hear anything from her that night and with his body a bit weak, he just wanted to get home and into bed on Monday morning.
Monday afternoon he woke up and first thing checked his messages on his phone but there was nothing. He fell back onto his pillow, muttering lowly, “Shit!”After a shower and getting dressed he asked his dad to help him into the braces once again. His dad was surprised about Jason’s enthusiasm for the braces but helped him, strapping the leather cuffs over his legs and Jason buckling his back brace straps over his white undershirt. His dad asked him, “So you want to wear them for a little bit today?”
Jason answered, “I am going to wear them every day now, I need to get used to them and practice some walking in them. I want to be able to take some steps.”
Darryl nodded, “O.k. sounds like a plan but don’t overdo it. If you get tired you need to rest with this.”
He finished strapping the last cuff over his right shin and then he just laid there on the couch, catching his breath. Just then his phone played its ringtone and Jason looked up toward the kitchen table, “Dad, can you get my phone from the kitchen table?”
Darryl hurried to the table and got the phone, throwing it a small distance to Jason, who caught it. He saw Ariana’s number, “Hey!”
Ariana’s voice sounded low on the other end, “Hey Jason!”
Jason shifted a little and felt almost nervous, “Ariana, Hey! How are you?”
“I am good Jason. I am sorry I didn’t call or text yesterday but I was pretty busy.”
“It’s all right, I understand.”
“I hope you do.”
Jason was surprised at her comment, “Yes, I know you work and all. I just…I just would have liked to hear your voice I guess,” He paused for a second, then added, “…but I hear it now, so it’s all good.” He tried his best to sound cheerful and careless.
“I am sorry, Jason. I am going to be really busy this whole week, my sweet boy. We could meet next week. When are you off next week?”
Jason didn’t like hearing this at all, and took a moment to answer, “Next week? That is still a long time away….I am off this coming weekend.”
He didn’t give her any other options and he felt his voice tense.
He added, “You have no time during the week at all?”
Ariana said lowly, “No, I don’t think so; there is so much going on.”
It was a lie; she could have met him on the weekend but decided against it. Over the past weekend thoughts had ran through her head about not letting this get any further, because she felt bad somehow. Cheryl’s words kept echoing in her head about being selfish and more and more she felt that Cheryl was probably right. She wanted to keep the relationship in her control. She needed to keep Jason in check and not get too close to him and not letting him get too close to her. She didn’t want him to get his hopes up for anything more serious.
Jason replied lowly, “Well, I guess I have all week to practice walking in my braces so the next time I see you I will be climbing up to your apartment.”
“Are you serious?”
“It’s my goal, because once I can climb up to your apartment you can’t get away from me anymore.” He laughed a little but knew that it was basically close to impossible for him to ever get up those stairs.
It was meant to be a joke but inside he imagined himself actually knocking on Ariana’s apartment door because more and more he got the feeling that Ariana was somehow avoiding him and it bothered him.He added, “I am dead serious. I am wearing them right now, you are missing all the action.”
Ariana smiled but she heard the tension in his voice, “Jason, you sound agitated.”
Jason looked up at the ceiling, taking a deep breath, “Why do I get the feeling you are somehow trying to find an excuse not to see me?”
“I am not, I am just….busy. I am sorry, Jason. It will give you a chance to hang out with your other friends.”
He was caught off guard replying, “Ariana, I don’t exactly have a whole load of friends waiting for me to come around. My life has been kind of friendless over the last couple of months.”
He could hear how much he sounded like a lonely and bitter loser and he didn’t like it one bit.
Ariana said softly, “I don’t want you to put your life on hold for me, Jason.”
Jason shook his head and said with a tense tremble in his voice, not caring anymore about letting his feelings show to her, “Ariana, at the moment…YOU are my life.”
Ariana took a deep breath on the other end; she didn’t want to hear this at all. She didn’t want to be Jason’s life juice, “Jason, I stay busy a lot and I thought we could keep our situation kind of loose, meeting up sometimes and having a good time and do our thing, I am sure you must have other things going on in your life just like I have lots of other stuff going on.”
Glancing over at his dad who was busy in the kitchen, the next few words were difficult for him to say.
He said it in a harsh low voice, “I tell you something Ariana….why don’t YOU call me when YOU want to get together for a fuck? I am usually off three/four days a week and since YOU are so busy it would be better that way. Unlike YOU I have nothing else going on in MY life so it is o.k. if you don’t want to call in between our meetings. I will just wait for your summoning and be ready to go for you. If it takes long enough I may be running toward you in my fucking braces“.
Ariana was surprised at his harsh tone, “Jason, please!”
He cut her off, “I will just wait for your call or text when you are ready for me. I won’t bother you anymore in between”.
Ariana could sense he was angry and tried to think of something to say, “Jason, I really like to hang out with you, you are really hot and fun and all that, I was hoping it would work out with us and the proposition, I had a great time with you on Friday, it was everything I wanted. I also want to be honest with you. I don’t want a serious relationship at the moment, I just can’t do it. I have too much stuff going on and I didn’t want to give you false hopes. If I did, I am sorry. I wish so much you would understand. Please let’s not make this difficult! Do you still want to hook up sometimes?”
Jason felt his hands tremble and sweaty, the anger inside him trying to surface with full force. What choice did he really have? Ariana was his only shot of some kind of female interaction at the moment, he wanted to slap himself for thinking it could be more than that but before he would lose her all the way he at least wanted to see her sometimes until maybe some other woman would come into his life. As much as Ariana was so good for him, she was just as bad for him but without her he had nothing to look forward to. He needed to be strong and just deal with the way things were going with her. From the start she had been honest with him; he had to give her credit for that. It was his own problem that he couldn’t only see what it was all about, a sexual fling, no strings attached, just like she had offered him in the first place. He had accepted the proposition and he would just have to let it be the way it was, nothing more than a hook up whenever Ariana had time for him.
He hung his head but tried to pull himself together and said lowly, “I do want to hook up sometimes. I am sorry I have been clingy; I will try to be better about it. Call or text me when you have time and we will get together.”Ariana sounded relieved, “I am glad Jason. We can have good times together, don’t you think?” “Yes, we can.”
“Well, I will let you know about next week then as soon as I have my schedule sorted out.”
“I will be thinking about our next meeting until then. Are we cool then?”
“Yes, we are cool.”
“Thanks sweet boy! Looking forward to seeing you again soon.”
“Take care Jason and practice hard in your braces for me.”
He said plainly, “I will.”
He hoped his dad had not overheard any of the conversation. He threw his phone on the side table of the couch and got ready to sit up and transfer into his chair. Darryl walked over and saw Jason’s attempt to transfer with difficulties in his braces, he helped him without being asked and Jason didn’t protest. Darryl knew something was going on and when their eyes met he said, “Everything o.k. son?”Jason snapped at his dad, “Not really I need to get out of here.”
Darryl didn’t stop him as he wheeled toward the door but right before Jason opened it, he grabbed Jason’s phone of the table and walked over to him, “Take your phone please.”
Jason grabbed the phone from his dad and left out the door. He felt tense and angry at Ariana.
While he wheeled along the private drive through the trailer park he kept talking to himself, hissing through his teeth, “This is so fucked up…why did I even agree to this? Why am I such a complete idiot…such a sucker for her…I don’t need this shit….”
With his gloved hands on his rims he wheeled fast down the drive and then along the sidewalk. It was a hot day again and he realized he hadn’t even put on a regular shirt over his back brace, he wore only his white T-Shirt under his brace, it was all visible to everyone but he didn’t care too much at that point. He didn’t really have a destination, he just felt so much tension and anger and he somehow needed to vent. The only way for him was to push his rims hard and roll along the sidewalk as fast as he could push himself. He ended up at the Junction 8 intersection at the gas station and he wheeled himself up to the door and a man who walked out held the door open for him. Inside the air conditioned store he made his way toward the refrigerators. He pulled out a six pack of Heineken and wheeled up to the register. The young woman behind the register was probably in her early 20’s and smiled at him friendly as she told him the total and he pulled out his money.
He realized her curious and shy glance at his braces and he couldn’t help his next words, stemming from his anger, “Do you like looking at these?”He gestured down on his body and she obviously felt very embarrassed and attempted an answer, but Jason cut her off, “Do you think this is hot?”
She looked down shyly, not wanting to meet Jason’s eyes. He opened one of the bottles right there at the register and took a sip from the ice cold beer still looking at the girl and not moving, “I have a friend who wants to fuck me in these all the time but only on her schedule, she doesn’t really care when I want to meet her, it is her decision when she summons me for a fuck and I am supposed to be in these braces.”
The girl felt very embarrassed now and glanced at Jason, almost whispering, “I am sorry.”
Jason added sarcastically, “Yeah, I don’t get it either…what is sexy about a fucked up body?”
He put the remaining bottles of the six pack in a brown paper bag on his lap and with one last glance at the girl he was going to wheel out of the store and realized what all he had just said and how rude he had been.
Now he felt sorry for the girl. He stopped in his tracks and looked back at her, “Hey, I am really sorry for what I just said…I shouldn’t…” He didn’t know what else to say and was ashamed now, wheeling toward the door and attempting to grab the door handle and get out of the store but didn’t succeed.
He couldn’t lean over far enough with his brace and when he realized he was stuck he hissed through his teeth, “Fuck!”
To his surprise the girl rushed over to the door and before she opened the door for Jason she directly met his eyes and said lowly, “You are very good looking and sexy.”
Jason was embarrassed now and couldn’t say anything else when she opened the door for him. He just needed to get away quickly and wheeled out into the gas fueled heat. The gas station was somewhat busy and Jason wheeled around to the side of the building, in the shade and drank his beer watching the cars coming, fueling up and leaving again. He thought about the encounter with the girl inside and knew he had been wrong to talk to her the way he did. He started feeling his anger toward Ariana change into disappointment, opening the second bottle and drank a large sip from it, feeling the ice cold liquid run into his body. He still thought about Ariana and how much pain she had already caused him and even though he had tried to tell himself the whole time he could do it, he could have that sexual fling with her without any emotions invested he started harboring thoughts of doubt and realizing how much energy it took from him to go with her proposition and how it made him feel more bad than good. If she felt he was so hot and so sexy and so funny and all that good stuff why couldn’t she see him more often? He watched people come and go for another 30 minutes, he was on his third bottle then and he felt the buzz in his head, the cold beer running through his veins and doing its thing. He saw the cashier girl come out of the store and empty the trash cans and when she turned to go back inside their eyes met and she seemed surprised to see that Jason still hung around. The beer had stripped him of his reserve and as a man walked into the store he wheeled in after the man holding the door. The girl glanced up from her register as she saw him come back in. She looked away quickly. Jason waited for the customer to pay and leave the store and when no one was there he wheeled up to the counter.
He saw the girl’s name tag on her shirt “Britt” and she glanced down to him shyly, “Do you need anything else?”Jason felt bad and somewhat buzzed, “Britt…I am sorry about a while ago. I was being really stupid. I was angry and I let it out on you. I am really sorry!”
Britt seemed very surprised now and after a moment she managed a smile, “It’s o.k.”
Jason added, “I should have not acted like I did. None of my mess is your fault.”
Britt smiled, “No, it’s cool…I am o.k.…..but I meant what I said.” Jason looked at her questioningly, trying to remember what she had said.
Britt added,”…that you are very good looking and…sexy.”
She looked down quickly. Jason remembered now that she had said it before he had wheeled out the door earlier, “Thanks…”
“Your girlfriend isn’t being fair to you if she is only using you.”
Just when Jason wanted to say something, someone came into the store and Britt greeted the person with a “Hello, how are you?”
Again he waited until the person had paid shortly after.Britt leaned on the table and asked, “What is she then?”
The customer had left and Jason looked back up at Britt and smiled at her, “She isn’t my girlfriend.”
The customer had left and Jason looked back up at Britt and smiled at her, “She isn’t my girlfriend.”
Jason shrugged his shoulders, “That is a good question. She wants a relationship with no strings attached, only….sex.”
Britt all the sudden didn’t seem so innocent and young as she shook her head and said, “Is that what you want too?”
Jason looked down and then up at Britt, “I thought I would be o.k. with it but I don’t know anymore.”
Britt replied, “She doesn’t know what she is doing…she must be messed up or something?”
Jason asked, “What do you mean?”
“Well, if the girl doesn’t want anything serious with a guy like you, she is stupid.”
“It is not that easy though…I am not exactly a catch.”
Britt smiled, “You are a catch very much….you just don’t know it. I would hook up with you in a heartbeat.”
She laughed and Jason joined in, surprised at Britt’s blunt honesty.
Britt then turned serious again, “Seriously though, she is probably afraid of getting too attached for some reason, has suffered abuse before or has some secrets she can’t share with you. Something must be going on with her. I am thinking she is scared to let her feelings for you go all the way so she is playing this game of no strings attached so as soon as it gets serious or if she starts getting real feelings for you she can get out. She doesn’t want to commit out of fear. I don’t understand! You seem like a nice guy, you are very hot and I am not just saying that…even in your…braces and the…chair.” She was a bit hesitant speaking the words and blushed a little. She laughed, “Gosh, you make me nervous just sitting there like this….”Jason smiled, “I am sorry for being so rude and giving you this spill about my messed up life. I should go.”
Britt smiled, “I didn’t mind…what is your name anyways?”
Jason realized he had not even introduced himself up to that moment, “I am so sorry…I am Jason.”
Britt smiled, “Yeah, you had the advantage here.” She pointed at her name tag and then she added, “I really enjoyed talking to you Jason.”
Jason smiled, “I did too…you are really cool. Thanks for making me feel better.”
He opened the fourth bottle and Britt said, “You should take it easy on the beer though.”
“I don’t like it when it’s getting warm…”
Britt added, “Be careful out there…”
She sounded sincere and Jason smiled, “Thanks…I will…”
Britt smiled, “Hey, and if your “not girlfriend” decides to be stupid and let you get away….I am here Mo. through Fr.”
Jason laughed, “O.k. I will totally remember that.”
Britt laughed and added, “Did I just say that?” She paused, then said softly, “You are really cute though Jason.”
As Jason looked up at her he realized how Britt was not bad looking at all herself and he smiled, “Thanks!”
She asked him then, “Where do you live?”
Jason thought for a moment if he should answer and then decided it wouldn’t hurt, “At the Desert Dream Trailer Park.”
Britt nodded, “I know where that is. I may visit you sometime.”
Jason smiled, “O.k. well, I should really go now. Thanks again for listening and your advice. You are very sweet. I am going to start buying my beer here from now on. It was nice meeting you.”
“You too, Jason. Hope to see you again soon. Let me know how it’s going with her so I can make my move if she screws up.”
They laughed and Jason put his hand on his rims while Britt came around to the door and opened it for him, smiling, “Take care Jason.”
“You too, see you later.”
Jason wheeled out into the heat for a second time.
The conversation with Britt had loosened him up a bit; he took another sip from his beer. He definitely had a buzz going on now as he finished the bottle quickly so he could head back to his house. He thought about work and knew he would have to call in, he was halfway drunk now. There was no way he could go into work. He wheeled along the sidewalk and realized his hands and arms a bit weak now, the alcohol flowing through his veins.