Monday, February 17, 2014

No Strings Attached Chapter 18

Hi everyone, the night at the Venetian is coming to an end for Ariana and Jason. What started out so wonderful though also causes painful emotions to resurface as our two characters realize very quickly. Enjoy the next chapter.

Ariana had ordered a brunch for room service at 11 o’clock and woke up from the knock on the door. She jumped out of bed. Jason shifted on his side of the bed. He blinked at her opening the door and saw a hotel employee bringing in the rolling tray with the food and beverages on it. He opened his eyes blinking into the room and watching Ariana hand the employee a tip and thanking him.

Ariana peeked under the covered plates smelling the food. There was a variety of foods, scrambled eggs, sausages, ham, toast, fruits, coffee, orange juice, jellies, butter, some pancakes and a waffle. She walked back over to the bed and was surprised to see Jason awake looking at her with sleepy dark eyes.

He asked lowly, “How can I ever make this up to you?”
Jason had paid for the food and drinks all night but the room bill was hers.
She fell into the bed next to him, “Don’t worry about that. You don’t have to make anything up to me.”

She leaned down to him and they kissed. Jason did worry about it though, he felt very insufficient when it came to his finances. Apparently Ariana wasn’t doing badly when it came to money. He could barely make ends meet with his dad’s illness and his own disability. Here was another reason for him to blow off the whole thing with Ariana, he could never fulfill her standard of living. Ariana was in a cheery mood and kissed Jason again smiling and laughing. He pulled her over onto him forcefully, kissing and biting her neck and letting his fingers run through her hair.
Eventually Ariana hopped out of bed and said, “Are you hungry?”

Jason held himself up on his arms and then pulling himself up to the headboard watching Ariana hurrying into the bathroom and hearing her pee. He had to get in there himself to cath and was glad to find he had not had an accident during the night because he had not wanted to wear an incontinence brief during the night, he was too embarrassed. Ariana had not really asked him about his toilet habits and how it all worked. He figured she didn’t want to know that part of his disability. Just when Ariana came out of the bathroom he was transferring into his wheelchair, and Ariana smiled at him in admiration when he wheeled by her smiling back at her, “I will be right out.”

She let him pass and then pulled the tray over to the table in the room, pulling a chair out for Jason to wheel up to and set the plates on the table. She set the TV on a music channel and got comfortable sitting with her legs crossed up on a chair.

Jason came wheeling out and had on a T-Shirt and his boxers. Ariana said in pretended disappointment, “Oh, you didn’t have to put on a T-Shirt or boxers for me…”
She smiled and Jason wheeled up to the table, “I didn’t want to distract you too much from breakfast.”

He grinned at her and they checked out all the food on the tray and started eating. It was another sunny day outside and the streets were already bustling with people and traffic. They hadn’t checked out the pool area of the Venetian which was beautifully set up but Jason definitely wasn’t ready for a pool adventure especially after his strange bathtub experience the night before and Ariana hadn’t mentioned anything about checking out the pool. They wouldn’t have time for it anyways.

After they had finished eating they got dressed and Ariana packed her little bag up, gathering her things. Jason was zipping up his back pack. Just as they were getting ready Jason thought about his braces. He had to strap them back on, so he wheeled over to them and once Ariana realized he was getting ready to throw the braces on the bed she came over, “Here I will help you with them.”

She laid the braces out on the bed for Jason and he transferred up onto the bed again. Ariana seemed excited to help him with the braces and once Jason had scooted himself over to lay down into the braces under the alert eyes of Ariana she asked if she could buckle the cuffs for him. He laid with his hand under his head and watched her face as she started to buckle the straps on the leg braces, starting from his shins, the double buckle black leather straps, then up to his knees buckling the leather knee pads, and then his double buckle thigh straps. Jason started on his back brace, letting the padded plastic mold of the front brace align with the sides of the back brace he was lying in and then buckling the straps over the front of the brace. Ariana was quiet during the process and he saw her hands a bit shaky and her chest rise up and down quickly as she fastened all the buckles. She was obviously excited and when she looked up at Jason, who met her eyes with a serious expression her eyes were shiny.

Jason asked her lowly with serious eyes, “You really enjoy doing this, don’t you?”
Ariana looked down embarrassed, nodding.
Jason didn’t stop there, “What is it? Why do you like it so much?”
She shrugged her shoulders and answered lowly, “I don’t know. It just looks hot on you; you look hot in them. I am sorry Jason, I just can’t help it.”

Jason just looked at her seriously, his thoughts were racing once again around the reasoning of Ariana’s attraction to his braces, to his wheelchair and his disability but he didn’t say anything else. He sensed how it made Ariana uncomfortable when he asked her so directly.

They left out the door right before 1 o’clock and headed for the elevator. Ariana confidently strolled through the hallway and Jason wondered how often she had been in these hallways before, probably with her clients. He silently wheeled next to her. When they got out on the first floor in the foyer they mingled in with guests of the casino from all over the world. Ariana took the lead somewhat to the reception counter for check out and Jason stayed back. Ariana laughed with the girl at the reception and Jason watched her lost in thoughts. It made him feel strange to see her pull out her credit card, paying for the night at the casino and all the conveniences. He should have been the one paying for all of it but he had just enough on his card to make it to the next payday, which was a week away.

He felt bad realizing how Ariana was so out of his league, he felt she didn’t need him as much as he needed her, she was about to let him go again, she would go back to her life, she would make him wait for the next date for however long she needed, she didn’t have to worry about her finances and one day she would probably let him go again because eventually she would meet someone who would give her so much more than he could and he still wondered about the reason for her interest in him. Ariana came back to him smiling, “All done. We are checked out.”

Jason smiled at her but he really didn’t feel like smiling.
Ariana squatted in front of him, “Well, I still have time until about 5 if you want to hang out some more. I have to work tonight though.“  
Jason thought for a moment and looked down, then up at her, “I probably should go home; I am still a bit off….probably not enough sleep.”
Ariana looked a bit disappointed, “Do you have to work tonight?”
Jason shook his head, “No, I am off this whole weekend.”
Instead of Ariana making a suggestion on when they could maybe meet again she said, “Oh, that’s nice, you can catch up on your sleep then.”
He nodded and at that moment the pain he felt crept up inside him and he couldn’t help the next words coming out, “I won’t see you again for a while then?”
Ariana realized the tone in his voice and said lowly, “I am sorry baby but I have to work tonight and tomorrow night, maybe next week we can meet again.”

She was still squatted in front of him and she looked him into his eyes, her hands on his knees, “Jason, what is it?”
He shook his head without looking at her, “Nothing, I am just tired still….I should call us a taxi.”
Ariana pushed her hands a bit harder on his knees, “Jason, look at me….I want to talk to you. Please!”
He looked up and his eyes looked tired and dark. He didn’t argue and Ariana took it as a Yes, “Let’s go somewhere quiet.”
She stood up and Jason followed her to a lounge chair group over in a remote corner of the lobby, large plants around them as she sat in one of the chairs and Jason wheeled up to her. Just then he felt a spasm shake his leg. His head hurt a bit too, probably from the drinking the night before. He wheeled toward Ariana and when he looked at her he realized her eyes were sad, “Jason, did you not enjoy the time we had?”
Jason didn’t say anything for a moment, then swallowed and said lowly, “Of course I enjoyed it, very much….every moment of it, every moment with you…”
Ariana asked, “You are still not all the way o.k. though with everything?”

Jason felt his hands tremble and he felt anxious but also frustrated. With a knot forming in his throat he replied, “Ariana listen to me….I don’t want to wait for you for days or weeks, I want to be with you more, I want to hear from you, see you when you are off or when I am off. I can’t wait all the time until you have a moment in your busy schedule to see me. Yes, this was great, it was the best night I have had in months, in years really…Being with you makes me forget about my life and how fucked up it is but I can’t go back and forth like this all the time, have a great time with you and then not being able to be with you for days or maybe weeks. I can’t do it and you are right, I can’t handle your job either. How am I supposed to be o.k. with it? I am nothing like the men you meet all the time and eventually one of them will probably take you out of this forsaken place and give you the life you deserve…..”

He felt his voice tremble with the knot in his throat and he felt the spasm again in his leg.

Ariana looked sad, “Jason, my job made this possible. I am doing really good money wise and I can do good things for us, for you and me. I can’t just quit, not just yet. Maybe another year…”
She let her head hang and Jason felt his vision get blurry when he said with a trembling voice, “I can’t see you anymore Ariana, I just can’t….”
He put his hands to his rims about to make his get a way and she held on to his leg, “Jason, no…don’t leave. We could make this work…”

He shook his head and with a weak voice he added, “You should let me go Ariana…it is better that way. All of this…” he gestured into the foyer, “…it was so much fun and it was so cool, but it also hurt as hell…I thank you for doing all this for me, for you and I am glad we had this but I just…”
His eyes actually filled with tears now as he added, “Maybe we met at the wrong time or in the wrong place….maybe we should have met a long time ago in Cali...but we didn’t and here in this place it just can’t work….I really need to go. I am sorry Ariana.”
A tear escaped his eye as he said once more, “I am so sorry, Ariana, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

He looked at her with shiny eyes and seriously asked one more sentence, “Ariana, what would you do if I could walk again?”
Ariana’s eyes had filled with tears as well as she answered lowly, “You won’t ever walk again.”
He looked at her sadly and wheeled off.

Ariana jumped up, “Jason, if you leave now…” She didn’t know how to finish the sentence.

What would happen if he left now? It hurt so much to see him leave but she had tried to ignore the facts that the relationship was most likely doomed from the start and that her plan of a proposition to have a sexual fling only was her way of staying away from responsibility of another human being and especially someone like Jason. She only wanted the fun part with him, the attraction to his disability, to this hot guy in a wheelchair, the paraplegic she always fantasized about. She wasn’t ready to commit to him in any other way, because she knew his life wasn’t always easy and she wasn’t ready to take on the responsibility for being with him. She had set it up that they could leave at any time without any issues and now that he wheeled away her heart almost burst because of the pain she felt. She had tried her hardest to keep her distance from him to a certain extent. Now she knew she was everything but distant from him, she felt close to him like she had never felt for anyone before, not even Trey.

The episode in the tub with Jason had made her feel so much for him, she wanted to be there for him, motivate him that things were o.k., that she was there for him no matter what would happen, she would never let him go under, metaphorically  and in life. He was everything she had wanted in a guy and there he was rolling out of her life.  Tears started streaming out of her eyes as she watched him wheel away. She wanted to tell him what she really felt for him, that she loved him and that she wanted to be with him forever and that she needed his help to get her out of the life she was in at the moment. She wanted to tell him about all the times she felt so lonely after a night with a client, men that gave her everything but men she didn’t want. She wanted to tell him how much she wanted to leave Vegas, how much she missed Northern Cali, how much she wanted to escape the glitter and glamour of Las Vegas and just plant a garden in the backyard of a cottage in the woods or by the ocean. She wanted to tell him how scared she was of a relationship because of things that happened in the past, in her childhood and with the men she was with until she finally left Trey. She cried and hoped with all her heart that Jason would turn around but he didn’t and she saw him disappear among the crowds of people.

Jason wiped over his face quickly as more tears tried to escape from his eyes. He felt like he was choking, almost like his paralysis had spread up into his neck. His arms felt weak and it seemed like he wasn’t even moving in his chair. His leg was shaking from the spasms and he headed for a quiet corner hidden behind some concrete pillars and called a taxi with a shaky voice. He ordered the taxi from Vegas City Cabs, not from his company because he didn’t want to talk to or see anyone he knew. City Cabs confirmed his order telling him that the taxi would be there in 10 minutes. Jason thanked the dispatcher barely able to control his voice trembling and wheeled outside into the heat right by the main entrance where he would wait for the taxi. He hung his head and tried to control his emotions and wiping his eyes in the hope to keep tears away. He almost felt like screaming, the urge of getting up and running away was so strong, he pressed his hands down on his thighs. Not that he was going anywhere but he felt trapped in his body, in this chair, unable to escape the place and the emotions that overcame him with such a force.

A taxi from Vegas City Cabs pulled up after a few minutes.  As the driver realized Jason in his wheelchair being his passenger he got out and walked up to Jason, “Hi, you ordered a taxi sir?”

Jason nodded and the driver opened the back door for Jason and as Jason wheeled up to the car he watched as Jason transferred into the seat with some expected difficulties with the braces on and then he grabbed his back pack and his crutches from the wheelchair. He folded his wheelchair and handed it to the waiting driver, “Would you please store this in the trunk or other side of the back seat?”
The driver nodded, “Yes sir,” and quickly put the wheelchair and crutches away in the trunk.

Jason adjusted his seating in the back seat, the braces making things a bit complicated as he aligned his legs and bent his knees at the right angle.
The driver got in and turned around to Jason, “My name is Alex.  Are you sitting o.k. sir?”
Jason nodded as he finished his positioning, “Yes, thanks. I am ready. I need to get out to Junction 8.”

Alex nodded an O.k. and went on his way through the city. With the transferring into the taxi under the curious eyes of the driver Jason had been a distracted. Now as he watched the city go by outside his window his thoughts went back to the earlier situation and he was trying to process that he would not see Ariana again. He felt sick and almost like he would have to throw up. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, tears were trying to force their way out of his eyes but he fought them breathing quickly.

The spasms kept coming in his leg and he held his leg down with his hand as his it wanted to jump and act up. Sometimes very dark thoughts went through his head when spasms controlled his legs and his body, thoughts of doing something bad to his legs flashed in front of his inner eyes.

With the heavy afternoon traffic the ride out to Junction 8 took almost an hour and when they got there Jason asked Alex to let him out at an intersection about a mile from his house. As Alex got Jason’s wheelchair from the trunk Jason pulled out his wallet, the fare was not cheap, Junction 8 was almost 10 miles outside the city. He handed Alex the money including a tip and then pulled his wheelchair up to the car so he could hang his backpack and crutches on the back of it and transferred into it. As soon as Alex was out of sight, Jason wheeled over to some bushes and trees and he broke down crying.

As his emotions took over he hit a tree several times with his fists, his gloves somewhat preventing cutting his skin. He cried and hit the tree again, then feeling sick, he leaned over the side of his chair and he vomited. He was throwing up, and cursing lowly. His knuckles were hurting. The pain didn’t bother Jason, feeling at least something in a physical way was good even if it was pain. When he slammed his fist into the tree once more some skin broke and blood was running over his fingers. He stayed in the spot for a moment and tried to collect himself again telling himself it was all better this way.

Thinking about the last question he had asked Ariana about him walking again he remembered how she had plainly replied that he wasn’t going to walk again. It was obvious to him now that she was glad he was paraplegic.
How could he be with a person who wanted him in the misery he was in for the rest of his life? A life that used to be pretty good and a life he could have enjoyed like a guy should and now he was depending on the wheelchair forever, not walking, not feeling anything from his chest down and not even being able to actually have sex with a woman. How could she be so selfish to want him in this way but probably would have not even wasted a moment on him when he was still on his two legs? How could he have been so naïve to think this could work out? Was he so desperate now that he let Ariana take advantage of him, getting off on his disability, on his wheelchair and his braces but not really too worried about him as a person?

Yeah, he was desperate, he wanted someone in his life, a woman he could love and be with and who would see beyond the disability and see him as a person and love him for who he was and not for his paraplegia. How could he have not seen the objectification Ariana had exposed him to? She was not the woman he needed and he would have to keep looking for the right one. He wiped his arm over his face and said lowly to himself, “You fucking idiot, Jason Flanagan.”

Aside from feeling sick and weak, spasms kept shocking Jason’s legs and he knew he really needed to get home now before he was too exhausted. He straightened himself up and put his bloody fingers on his rims wheeling toward home.

After Jason had left her behind in the foyer of the Venetian Ariana let her tears flow freely. She had thought about running after him but then decided she wouldn’t. Maybe it was for the better to break it up now. She had enjoyed the time with him so much but she had realized more and more how she cared for Jason more than just a fling, how she wanted to be close to him and with him but she knew it wouldn’t work out with her job and she didn’t want to hurt him. She should have never even started anything with Jason and felt stupid thinking she could just have a sexual encounter with him every so often. She felt so much more for him already and it scared her so much. She stayed in the lounge chair for another 15 minutes and cried silently.

Now she was in a taxi and was on her way to her apartment. She was supposed to work that night, an escort was requested at the Mirage for a dinner party. She didn’t know the client and she didn’t know if an overnight was requested, she would have to text or call Darren or Beth on it before she would go. She really didn’t know at the moment if she could actually pull it off that night.

The time she had spent with Jason was all she could think of and everything about him and especially about the last question he had asked her about him walking again. Tears were flowing as she remembered her reply. If he would walk would she even have been interested in him? He was attractive no matter what, even before his accident but the day she saw him for the first time it was the wheelchair and the braces that caught her eyes and then Jason and it was like a dream had come true for her. She wanted to meet that guy no matter what it would take and she wanted to have him. Now she felt so wrong and so bad about having put him through this fling with her and she knew he had every right to get away from her.

How could she have coldly replied that he would never walk again? At the thought she cried even more and she really started to doubt if she could actually pull off her job for that night. She decided to text Darren and let him know that she was sick and that he needed to find another girl for the client at the Mirage.

She clicked “Send” on her phone and shortly after her phone actually played its ring tone and she saw Darren on the display, “Hey Darren.”
“Ariana, what’s up? Are you sick?”
“I am Darren, I have been throwing up today and I really don’t think I can do tonight.”
“What a shame, the client is Ryan Sundberg and he specifically requested you. Do you remember him?”
Ariana did remember, “Yeah, I do but I just can’t Darren….I am sorry.”
“O.k. I will call him up and see if there is another girl he would like to see. So you are absolutely positive?”
“Yes Darren, I am.”
“Is there anything you need? Beth could come over or something. Are you at home?”
“Yeah, but I am fine….I am lying down right now, trying to get some rest.”

While she said it she saw the city go by outside the taxi window and she felt bad about lying to Darren. Ariana finished the conversation with Darren and she could tell he was concerned about her health. She arrived at her apartment and paid the taxi fare. Her crying subsided somewhat as she climbed the stairs to her apartment. Her roommate Melody was not home and she was relieved she wouldn’t have to explain her red eyes or her smeared make up as she walked in.

Jason was the only thing on her mind the whole time and she considered texting or calling him. As she was lying in her bed and looked through the pictures of her and Jason on her phone tears just started streaming again. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt that way for a guy, her heart was aching. There were some pictures of her and Jason on the Gondola. They looked so happy together and Ariana turned the phone off, buried her face in her pillow and cried like she hadn’t cried in a long time.

She fell asleep around 10 in her bed, tired, exhausted and sad about the way things had went with Jason. She needed to find a way to forget about Jason. So much she wished she would have never spotted him at the clinic a couple of weeks ago. She had to forget all of it ever happened and had to find a way to push the guilt she felt aside; the guilt of having put Jason through this. She had been wrong to let all of this go so far

Darryl was not at home when Jason got there and when he texted him his dad replied that he was at the store with the neighbors. Jason let him know that he was at home. He sat in the kitchen and pulled his gloves off and the knuckles on his fingers hurt from hitting the tree. There was some blood smeared over his fingers and once his gloves were off Jason wheeled into the bathroom to wash his hands. It burned a little but once his hands were cleaned up he saw it wasn’t that bad, just some scrapes from his outburst. He brushed his teeth. Looking in the mirror over his sink he just sat there. The mirror was somewhat slanted so Jason could see his whole body sitting in his chair. He took off his shirt over his back brace and just looked at himself for a little bit. What was it that Ariana felt so drawn to?

He got busy unzipping his jeans fly and pulled out a catheter from a sterile package, inserting the tubing into his urethra draining his bladder. After he had washed his face, he dried off and wheeled back out to the living room again. He cleaned out his back pack and after he was done he transferred onto the couch and laid down. Pulling his chair over some he undid the Velcro straps for his crutches and for a moment holding them he then threw them over to the side thinking about how stupid the whole idea had been to even bring them and think about walking a little.

The spasms were still shooting through him, not strong but annoying enough. He left his braces on for now to keep the spasms in check. Exhaustion took over from the emotional strain. It didn’t take long and he fell asleep on the couch. It was almost 6 when his dad walked into the trailer, carrying two bags of groceries.

Jason was startled and looked at his dad somewhat dazed, “Oh, hey dad!”
“Hey Jay!”
Right after Jason’s dad their neighbor John came in with two more grocery bags, laughing and chatting and greeting Jason friendly, “Hey Jason, how are you doing?”
Jason shifted on the couch and looked over to the two men, “Hey John, I’m doing all right! How about yourself? You guys need some help?”
John replied, “No, we got it. You stay put.”
Just then John’s wife Deb came walking into the trailer, looking over to Jason, “Hey sugar. How are you?”

John and Deb were about the same age as Darryl and close friends to him. They had been very supportive during Darryl’s illness and also through the rough time when Jason had his accident. They were almost like an extended family for Jason, like an uncle and an aunt

Deb said, “We brought you a burger, hon. I hope you are hungry.”   

Jason actually didn’t feel much like eating at all, he still felt weak and even though he couldn’t feel into his stomach he had a feeling that eating wasn’t a good idea for him at the moment. His chest felt tight still and he replied lowly, “Thanks Deb, but I am actually not feeling so good today.”
Darryl heard the words, stopped what he was doing and came walking over toward Jason, “What is wrong son?”
Jason didn’t want to worry his dad, “Nothing serious, just tired I think…”

Darryl looked at Jason suspiciously but didn’t ask any further question. Deb was setting the food out on the kitchen table and then came walking over to Jason. She leaned down petting Jason on his head and planted a small kiss on his forehead, “You feel a little warm Jay.”
Jason was surprised, “Really?”
He didn’t think he was actually running a fever. Deb leaned down and put her hand on his forehead to check, “Yeah, you seem warm. What is going on?”
Jason shook his head, “I don’t know...I feel a bit off today.”
Darryl asked, “How was last night?”

He looked seriously at him, like he was possibly blaming the night away from home for Jason not feeling well. Jason was waiting for his dad to get on to him for not staying at home but he didn’t say anything else.
Jason replied softly, “Last night was very good.”
Darryl asked, “I am surprised you are not still out with Ariana!”
“No, I didn’t feel so good today and she had to work tonight.”
Darryl looked at Jason intensely, he sensed something was wrong but he wasn’t going to ask with John and Deb there, “So you don’t want a Burger?”
Jason shook his head, “No thanks dad.”  
Deb seemed concerned, “I just hope you will feel better soon.”

The elders ate their dinner and chatted happily. Jason closed his eyes trying to relax on the couch. He did put his hand on his forehead and felt the warmth. Everything else seemed to be o.k. with him, just the emotional strain had cost him some energy but it shouldn’t be a reason to run a fever. A fever was always of concern for Jason because it could be an indicator of some underlying health problems he was experiencing and didn’t even realize. During the two years of his paraplegia he had had a couple of urinary tract infections, he had had pneumonia, a bout of Autonomic Dysreflexia and for all of it he had been hospitalized because those issues couldn’t be taken lightly in a person with paraplegia to the extent of Jason’s injury. It could cause serious internal infections without Jason even knowing he was sick. He really didn’t want to get sick like that again.

John and Deb left a while later and once Darryl had put away all the groceries and cleaned up the kitchen he came over to the living room and sat down on the couch next to Jason and without a word he put his hand on Jason’s forehead and felt for the fever as well.
Darryl nodded at Jason who looked at him questioningly, “Yeah, definitely on the warm side.”

He got up and shortly after came back with a bowl filled with cold water and a wash cloth and without Jason protesting and without a word he wet the wash cloth, wrung it out and put it on Jason’s forehead. In moments like this Darryl didn’t say too much to Jason, he was worried about him more than anything. As Jason looked at his dad he realized the lines in his dad’s face and how his dad didn’t look so good himself. He asked lowly, “Are you all right dad?”
Darryl smiled and said not very convincing, “I am fine son.”

It didn’t sound true but Jason didn’t have the energy to ask furthermore.
His dad though asked, “So, how was your date with Ariana?”
Jason didn’t want to really talk about any of it, “The date with her was very good but I also came to realize that it won’t work out with us…”
His dad looked surprised, “What do you mean?”
“I guess I broke up with her…”

He swallowed at the thought of their last conversation and the parting from each other earlier. 
Darryl asked, “What made you do that?”
Jason didn’t want to say anything else about it, “I don’t really want to talk about it dad. It’s better this way.”
Darryl knew he would not get anything else out of Jason at this time.

They spent the rest of the evening watching TV. Jason didn’t move from the couch, his dad brought him water to drink. Jason’s fever subsided through the night and he felt o.k. but tired still. The spasms also subsided and eventually he took his braces off.
The night with Ariana had really worn him out. Around 11 that night Darryl and Jason went to bed and whereas Darryl fell asleep quickly Jason thought of Ariana when he lay in his bed. He remembered how he was lying with her the night before and how it had been so good being with her. His mind was still running around Ariana and everything about her. He couldn’t fall asleep and the last couple of weeks played in his mind again and the conversations he had had with Ariana, the moments they had shared and the way things had been with her. Now she was probably lying in bed with another man after she had spent an evening with the man being his show off girl and play date. He pushed the thought with Ariana and another man out of his mind but he couldn’t stop her image appearing in his mind and the way she had come so close to his heart kept his mind busy. It took him a long while to fall asleep.


  1. looking forward to what will happen next ^^ good writing!

  2. Wow, heartbreaking.
    Good stuff!

  3. Poor Jason -- I feel so bad for him! Perhaps, when he is feeling a bit better he can visit the girl from the gas station, Britt. Ariana has some soul searching to do.

  4. Thank you thank you! I woke up this morning anticipating chapter 18. Went to work and all I could think about was chapter 18! Dani this was good, from the beginning to the need. Feeling and emotions where exposed and it was painful. Your story is my dessert on wednesday!

  5. Good chapter but stressful for Jason. Those 2 tormented minds make the story more realistic and we feel like helping them to resolve their issues. Hope they will overcome their difficulties in the next chapter. And I agree with Pepper, maybe Jason should make Ariana a little bit jealous with another girl so she can make up her mind.