Saturday, February 22, 2014

No Strings Attached Chapter 13


This chapter has been bugging me a little, I have thought about rearranging it all and just taking stuff out but then again I want to have a realistic time line in Jason's and Ariana's interaction and I don't want to just jump from one meeting to the next and leave everything in between to everyone's imagination. I know you want to see them together and I won't leave you hanging too much longer! Thanks for reading!


When he got back to the trailer his dad was sitting outside on the small front porch, drinking a beer of his own. He seemed relieved to see Jason wheel up the driveway and watched him push himself up the ramp.
Jason felt awkward because he had left angry earlier, “Hey dad!”
Darryl nodded at Jason, “I am glad you are back. What’s this?” He glanced at the brown bag on Jason’s lap.
Jason answered lowly, “The rest of a six pack…”
“Are you able to go to work?”
Jason shook his head, and his dad added, “You have to call them.”
Jason nodded, he felt light headed.

Darryl didn’t like the idea of Jason drinking again but he really couldn’t tell him what to do. Jason sat the brown bag onto the small plastic table and pulled his phone out. He was nervous to call out, he felt the alcohol working in his body and when his boss answered he tried hard to sound sincere, not letting him hear the slur in his voice. His lie was that he was dealing with spasms. Jason felt bad when his boss told him to get well quickly and was very understanding.

After he clicked his phone off Darryl said lowly, “Hopefully you didn’t jinx it with that.”
Jason shrugged his shoulders and pulled out the fifth beer, asking his dad if he wanted the sixth one. His dad declined, still sipping from his own bottle.

Darryl watched Jason pop the lid off the bottle, “This is your fifth one?” Jason didn’t answer and Darryl asked, “Didn’t we just have this situation a couple of weeks ago? You really need to lay off on the drinking. I should smack you for this. What’s going on? Is everything all right with your girlfriend?”
Jason looked down at the bottle in his hands and answered with a slight slur, “It depends from whose point of view you are looking at it….”
Darryl kept his eyes on Jason, “I am listening…”

Jason took a sip from his bottle and then looked at his dad. He felt his vision somewhat blurry and he also felt off physically, answering lowly, “You know…I thought when she gave me the freaking proposition I could do it….but I don’t know anymore.”
Darryl didn’t know what Jason was talking about but he didn’t want to cut in with any questions because he knew that Jason was upset and he wanted to keep him talking.
Jason drank again; his voice slurring, “Dad, she is not really my girlfriend.”
Darryl looked at Jason questioningly and just waited.
Jason shifted in his wheelchair a little, looking down at his braces, “I never thought that these could actually get me laid.”

Darryl drew his eyebrows up a little, but still didn’t say anything. Jason seemed wobbly in his chair and Darryl knew he was getting drunk as he took another gulp from his beer.
He seemed lost in thoughts and Darryl pushed, “What do you mean?”
Jason looked up, his eyes glossy as he said lowly, “This is what she wants, me in the chair or in my braces….if I would be walking she probably wouldn’t have even wasted a moment on me…she says this turns her on and she told me straight out she just wanted to fuck me in my chair or braces, no strings attached…” Now Darryl was really surprised at Jason’s direct words but also at the obvious issue with Ariana. He really didn’t know how to respond to this, but was somewhat confused by Jason’s announcement concerning his relationship with Ariana.
Jason added, “She only wants me for sex and I thought at first I could do it….”
Darryl waited but nothing else came and he finished the sentence carefully, “…and now you realized you can’t…” Jason looked up at his dad and nodded silently, then looking down at the bottle in his hands again.
He didn’t say anything else and Darryl continued, “Maybe you need to talk to her.”
Jason laughed a sarcastic laugh, “Yeah, o.k. what should I say to her?”
Darryl thought for a moment but he didn’t have a real answer for Jason, “Tell her how you feel.” Jason looked up, “It is not going to change anything…she does not want an actual relationship, dad….”

He took the last sip of his beer and set the empty bottle on the table, “I think I will lie down now…” He put his hands on his rims and spun around a bit clumsily, the alcohol definitely taking its toll on his coordination. Darryl felt bad, not being able to give advice to Jason but apparently the whole situation with Ariana was complicated and not really making him happy.

He got up and held the door for Jason, “You want to get out of your braces….” Jason nodded and pushed his chair over the threshold of the door, feeling his strength subside with the alcohol taking over. He wheeled toward the couch. Darryl stood by waiting as Jason transferred with difficulties. Once on the couch he helped Jason get out of the braces. As Jason tried to transfer back into his chair he felt the sudden onset of a spasm shooting through his body, the usual side effect of the alcohol reacting in his body.
He stopped in his track on the couch, holding himself up on his hands and tensing up as Darryl watched, “Here we go…”

Jason clenched his teeth with the spasm and once it had subsided he attempted the transfer back into the chair and he barely made it, only with Darryl grabbing him under his arms he got back into his chair. He put his hands on his rims and just then was shook by another spasm. Darryl took over and pushed Jason into the bathroom. He couldn’t leave him now; he was drunk and going into spasticity. He stayed and helped Jason undress without words. Darryl pulled out a new catheter from the sterile wrapping and handed it to Jason who started fiddling with it and trying to insert the catheter unsuccessful and cursed over it as his dad reached out to him, “You want me to get it?”

Jason didn’t answer but let his dad take over silently. His hands were shaky and he looked up as his dad leaned over him and inserted the catheter with Latex gloved hands. He hated the fact that his dad had to help him with that task. As soon as the catheter was inserted the yellow liquid flowed into the toilet for a few moments.
His dad said lowly, “With all the beer you drank you will be peeing all night….”

Once they were done in the bathroom, Jason now battling one spasm after another and silently enduring the consequences of his drinking once again, his dad helped him out of his chair in front of his bedroom and wrapping his arms around him, dragging him to his bed, pulling him up on it and letting him fall onto it. Jason didn’t say a word, needing so much assistance from his dad was always difficult for him. Darryl adjusted Jason’s legs; he felt a spasm shooting through his leg, cramping Jason’s calf and thigh muscles into odd bulges.
Jason said lowly, “I want to lie on my side.”
Darryl nodded, “O.k.“ Firstly he pulled out an incontinence brief and said, “You want me to get it?”

Jason had hardly any strength at that point, the alcohol and the spasms taking his last bit of dignity. His dad pulled the briefs up over Jason’s legs and then helped him roll over to the side, when he saw the two red areas on Jason’s lower back, basically on his tail bone. He pulled Jason’s T-Shirt up a bit and saw the sores, “Jay, you are getting pressure sores again. I need to put some meds on that right now.” The pressure sores were an ongoing issue, he would be o.k. for a little while and then once again they would reappear and were usually difficult to heal away. He had had pressure sores bad enough to where he had to lie on his side in his bed for days until the sores were healing. Priority was to not let them get infected. Darryl propped some pillows in front of Jason stabilizing his position and said, “I will be right back.”

He went to the bathroom and got a wet washcloth and the medical ointments for the sores. Jason didn’t feel good at all now; everything that could go bad was going bad. Another spasm let him tense up in anguish, even his jaw clenched at the spasm and almost jerking him over onto to his back. He gasped for air as his dad came back in.
Darryl knew Jason wasn’t feeling well, “Here, let me put that on.”

Jason stayed silent and thought about Ariana and how it would be if she would see him like this. There was nothing sexy about this whole situation and he really didn’t know how he could keep up the unrealistic picture she had of him. Just one spastic episode while with her would throw out all his dignity and he didn’t think it would be a turn on for her. He had to almost smile thinking about her ignorance and her not knowing anything about his issues. He also thought about the girl from the gas station, Britt and how she actually made him feel kind of good earlier but wondered what she would think of him in this situation.

His dad was rubbing the ointment on the sores and put two large sterile adhesive pads on the sores, “O.k. better.” Additionally he propped two large pillows behind Jason. He held a glass of water to Jason’s mouth for him to drink a sip ending in a cough attack because of the odd position he was in and the spasms.
Jason said weakly, “I need my Baclofen."
“You can’t take them with all the alcohol in your blood. Sorry son, you just have to deal with the spasms.”

His dad was right, he couldn’t take any meds when he was drunk and he was not looking forward to the next couple of hours. He didn’t say anything but his dad actually put his hand slightly on Jason’s shoulder, “Are you going to be o.k.?”
Jason nodded silently, he felt pretty bad now, another spasm shooting up into his chest.
Darryl said softly, “Tomorrow is a new day, Jason and maybe you can think clearly about your situation then. Maybe you need to put a stop to this thing with Ariana before it gets to be too much. I know it is getting to you already and you can’t drown your pain with alcohol every time, I am going to have to stop you on that, your body can not tolerate it all the time and not in such amounts. You had too many beers tonight and I should have not let you drink that much.”

Jason heard his dad but also felt drowsy and focused on the next spasm, hating it and battling his self-pity at the same time.
Looking at his dad he said lowly, “I am really trying dad…but I don’t know if I can keep going like this. Maybe we should move back to Cali…”  
Darryl heard the desperation in Jason’s words.
Jason added, “Why is there no change for the better for us?”
Darryl didn’t have an answer and he thought about the last test results on his cancer and tears formed in his eyes, tears he couldn’t let Jason see.

He took a deep breath, “Jason, you are a very strong young man and I know you can do this…things are not so bad for us…I know it could be better but we have to play the cards we were dealt…you are doing good, son…you are strong and things will be o.k.  I love you son…When you drink you fall into this state of self-pity and it is not good.”

Jason fell into a cough attack and it hurt in his chest and with the cough a strong spasm shook him. Darryl watched in worry and he hoped very much that Jason would be o.k. Jason could barely hold his eyes open now but the spasms kept coming for a while and didn’t give him a break and wouldn’t let him sleep. He would breathe through them as good as possible until they would hopefully subside. Darryl stayed in the room, sitting on the edge of the bed but he didn’t say anything else. He kept his eyes on his son and eventually saw Jason’s eyes closed and his breathing become regular and he walked out to the living room. It was only 9 o’clock then and he would stay up for a while keeping watch over Jason and making sure he was going to sleep o.k.

After Ariana had hung up with Jason she felt bad and she knew Jason wasn’t o.k. after the conversation. She could have met up with him over the weekend but she had decided against it. That night she had no job going on either and decided to go to the gym, where she got on the elliptical machine, working out as hard as she could and trying to forget about Jason and everything about him. He was getting into her head and she was trying to ignore and fight the feelings. She knew it would not work out, he would tell her to quit her job eventually because no guy wanted to be with a woman who was with other men constantly. It was not the way things should be. Jason seemed especially vulnerable with his situation. She kept telling herself that she couldn’t just quit her job and at the same time she made good money and lots of it was going into savings because she had special plans for her future and up until now there was no guy involved in those plans. She had planned to stay single and fulfill some of her dreams, dodging with that getting hurt again and falling for the wrong person. Jason was not exactly the right one for her either. He was nice and attractive but what would a future with him look like. She couldn’t imagine anything beyond a fling with him. She hated herself for those thoughts and even more so hated that she put him in this situation. She didn’t think that it would bother him to just get with her for fun and occasional sexual encounters but it seemed he was taking all of it more serious than what she had planned.
 
It was a blunt proposition she had put to him, what was he supposed to do? She didn’t think he would get so attached to her though; she had thought a guy like him would have lots of friends, male and female to hang out with but apparently it was not the case. While she worked out on the elliptical machine she came to the conclusion that she would see Jason once more and depending on how it would go she would have to stop seeing him after that. She didn’t want to get too deep into with him and she also didn’t want him to get his hopes up for more with her. Successfully she pushed the painful thoughts of being in a relationship with Jason far into the back of her mind, thoughts she could not let surface because her own vulnerability was way too close with Jason being in her life. Imagining the baggage that came with him being paraplegic was far too much for her to cope with.

Jason had a rough night, he kept waking up from the spasms shooting through him, his dad kept coming into the room, wiped his face with a cold washcloth and let Jason drink some water every so often. With all the beer he had also peed more than usual and his dad helped him change the incontinence briefs out once during the night. By morning Jason was wore out and exhausted, his eyes kept falling shut just to be ripped awake moments later with a spasm attack and for some reason lots of coughing was going on. A slight pressure in his chest gave him problems as well. Darryl was tired too by that time, he had not been able to sleep either and a few times during the night he had gotten onto Jason for drinking too much. He promised to himself that he would not allow Jason to drink anymore.

Tuesday Jason had to call out from work again and stayed in his bed all day. The spasms became weaker during the day, Jason was able to sleep a little bit in between, his dad kept checking on him and helped him change his briefs out again; put ointment on the pressure sores, helped Jason adjust his position to the other side and brought him water. Instead of spasms Jason now dealt with coughing and knew he was getting sick, maybe the air conditioned restaurant or bar on his night out with Ariana had brought on the cold he was apparently getting. During the afternoon Darryl let Jason take some Baclofen for his spasms and also some cough syrup. He was getting worried about Jason getting sick and hoped they could dodge anything more severe. A simple cold could turn into something a lot worse with a paraplegic person. Jason slept a lot on Tuesday. Once the spasms were gone by the evening he slept all the way through the night.

Wednesday came and Jason woke up without any spasms torturing him, but still coughing. He pulled his phone off the night table and checked it, only to be disappointed not to have one single message from Ariana. He couldn’t stop thinking about her and even when he had laid in his spastic episodes and felt anything but sexy he missed her. He knew now he couldn’t go for the proposition, it just wouldn’t work out, it caused him to much emotional tumult, he didn’t understand her attraction to him in his wheelchair or his braces. He also felt if she wanted him that way she also needed to know about the rest of his story, about the days when he could barely get up because of exhaustion, spasms or being sick, about the things he had to do on a daily basis to use the bathroom or the medications he took just to keep his moods balanced and not falling into a depression or the nights he would wake up in sweat from nightmares plaguing him about the accident, his brother’s death and his life now. He couldn’t keep up the sexy guy in a wheelchair or in his braces just for Ariana’s pleasure. Really he was just plainly paraplegic and Ariana’s strange attraction to him became more and more complicated for him to understand. Above all apparently he had no sexual function anymore and so it was clearly just a one sided sexual fling. Jason knew now he couldn’t do it. He would have to tell Ariana at their next meeting.

Jason stayed in bed all day on Wednesday and even though he felt better, he still didn’t feel like getting up. At least he didn’t have to work. He sat up though propped up on the pillows and watched TV, played on his cell phone and got on his laptop. Around 5 in the evening his cell phone actually played its ring tone and he was surprised to see Ariana on the display, “Hello!”
“Jason, Hi!”
“Hey Ariana.”
“Hey, how are you?”
Jason let his head fall back onto the thick pillow behind him and said lowly, “Actually not all the way great.”
"What do you mean?”
“I have been kind of sick the last three days.”
“You were o.k. when we talked on the phone on Monday?”
“Yeah, it kind of happened that night, I became spastic, I have a cough for some reason and I am also dealing with some pressure sores on my ass.” He decided to just put it to her, not talk around his issues but be honest about what he had been dealing with the last few days.

It took a moment until Ariana spoke again; he knew he had hit her with his words, “I am so sorry. Do you think you would be o.k. by Friday? I was able to make time and we can meet if you are up for it.”
“I thought you were busy all week?”
She sounded low, “I am but I wanted to see you and I felt bad, so I made some time for us to get together.”
Jason looked up at the ceiling and said lowly, “I haven’t been able to practice walking in my braces…”
Ariana seemed to have a smile in her voice, “Don’t worry about that…it is not a priority.”
“I am not sure about Friday…it depends how I will feel by then.”
“I could come out to your place if you are not fit, I don’t care if I have to come out to Junction 8. I really want to see you Jason.”

Jason was surprised at her suggestion to come out to his place but he didn’t think it was a good idea and he definitely didn’t want her to see him the way he was at the moment, “No, you shouldn’t come out here. Hopefully I will be o.k. and we can hook up in town somewhere. Maybe go eat or have a drink or something.”
“Yes, I really want to see you. I am sorry you are not feeling good. When you say spastic, what does that mean?”
Jason nodded to himself about her question, sensing her curiosity, “It means that I get spasms in my body…they are like severe muscle contractions in my body and can be very annoying and not very sexy...I can’t control them, they can just happen anytime, anywhere.”
He was anticipating Ariana’s reply and was surprised when she said, “I wish I could have been there for you. Even if I could have not done much but just to be there with you through the sp…spasms.” She had a second of difficulty saying the word.  
Jason didn’t expect her to reply that way, he thought she would be intimidated by more information about his disability, “Yeah, it wasn’t a nice sight.”
Ariana said softly, “I am sorry Jason. So you have been in bed this whole time?”
“Yeah, when I get really bad spasms I can’t get up, you would be picking me up off the floor…” He had fallen out of his chair on more than one occasion when he was experiencing severe spastic activity in his body.
He asked lowly, “How was your week so far?”
Ariana replied, “It has been good so far, I had a job on Monday and Tuesday, and I have one tonight. I have to get ready for it soon.”
“Yeah, where is it going to be?”
“At the Luxor.”
“Nice, I haven’t been in there in like forever, hell; I haven’t been on the strip in over two years. No reason to go down there without money.”
Ariana said, “You don’t have to gamble or anything, just watching the people and all the lights is fun sometimes.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
“Anyhow, tonight I will be at the Luxor for a few hours.”
“What are you doing there?”
“I will accompany someone to a dinner and cocktail party after…”
“A rich guy?”
“He is a business man from New York.”
“Rich guy…”
“Jason, please!”
“What? I am just saying…I am sure he is rich, right?”
Ariana felt that Jason was trying to antagonize her and she answered, “He is rich and handsome.”

Jason still stared at the ceiling, wondering what she wanted with him in the first place if she could probably hook up with some wealthy guy at any time and get away from this city. He took a breath and then asked, “How many times could you have left this forsaken place with one of those guys?”
Ariana knew Jason was still not all the way o.k., he sounded tense, “Jason, I won’t go there…what is your deal?”
Jason shook his head to himself, “Nothing….”
Ariana’s voice became soft, “Jason, I want to see you on Friday and I want to spend a good time with you. Tell me now….can you do that?”
She sounded stern at the end of the sentence and Jason reminded himself to pull it together, “Yes, I can do that. I can be the other guy you want, the one in the wheelchair and braces for your pleasure…”
Ariana got mad now; Jason was definitely pushing her buttons the wrong way.

She ignored the knot in her throat and said hard, “Jason, be ready on Friday at 6. I am not going to let you treat me this way. Hope you feel better on Friday because if not I don’t want to see you, so get it together and act right. I will not go into this any further with you, be ready at 6 on Friday.”
 
Before Jason could respond he heard the phone beep and the display picture of Ariana disappeared and “call ended” showed on his screen. He thought about calling her back but then decided not to. He had acted on his angry feelings and knew he had been wrong but he just couldn’t help it anymore. What did she want from him? She had this glamorous life with rich men all the time, why did she want to be with him? How could he live up to any of her expectations and give her what she wanted? His head fell back on the pillow and he closed his eyes, sighing and thinking. He didn’t get up the rest of the day either, the cough still bothered him and he felt weak. His dad hung out with him in his room, they talked, watched TV and ate dinner together in Jason’s room. That night he slept restless and woke up a few times sweating and coughing. He thought about Ariana all the time and wished so much that things would be different for them

4 comments:

  1. I wish Ariana would sort things out in her own head!

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  2. Ariana needs to get over herself and stop using Jason. ( Imagining the baggage that came with him being paraplegic was far too much for her to cope with.) That sentence hurt me the most. Another great chapter!

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  3. Thank you for the update! Very interested to see where their relationship goes!

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  4. I totally agree with Pepper and Lynn. Ariana is really a pain in the a.. and I am expecting Jason to react and be tougher with her. She deserves a little bit of shaking-up. However this is one of my favorite chapter. Very "devy" to me. Even if I feel sorry for Jason's sake I revel in the way you describe his physical issues and the caring of his dad. A bit depressing though. Hope things will brighten up in the next chapters. Good job Dani!

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