The devastating discovery Shawn made has brought on lots of pain and heartache for both Shawn and Trish.
Trish parked her car in front of her apartment complex she turned her phone on
again and saw three missed calls from Randy, then a text message, “Trish, what
is going on? Please call me. I am on my way to Shawn’s house right now.”
was relieved to read about Shawn’s uncle going to check on him.
arrived at Shawn’s house and found the front door unlocked as he turned the
knob. He walked into the house and when he didn’t see Shawn right away he
called, “Shawn, it’s me, your uncle Randy…where are you?”
back toward Shawn’s bedroom and found him on the floor, his wheelchair turned
over, and the Crown Royal bottle on the floor next to him. Apparently some of
it had leaked out as Randy smelled the alcohol in the room.
moved some and looked at his uncle with glossy eyes.
leaned down quickly, “Shawn, what the hell is going on?”
kneeled down next to Shawn and picked him up some. He saw the dark wet spot in the
groin area on Shawn’s sweat pants and just when Randy picked him up, Shawn
announced with a slur, “I have to puke.”
was no time as Randy held Shawn upright some and Shawn vomited over himself.
was worried, “Boy, what are you doing? I have to call someone.”
Shawn somewhat in the crease of his elbow he pulled out his cell phone from his
back pocket and with one hand found his daughter’s number.
answered after a moment, “Yes, dad?”
explained nervously, “Ceci, can you come over to Shawn’s house quickly…the boy is drunk
on the floor, peed himself and just puked all over himself.”
was shocked, “What? Where is Trish?”
don’t know what is going on, they had a fight or something...she is not
here…hurry up and come over here.”
sat Shawn up on the side of the bed but when he let go, Shawn fell over again.
The room smelled of vomit, liquor, and urine and Randy positioned Shawn on his
side so he wouldn’t suffocate on his vomit. He ran to the bathroom to get a
wiped Shawn’s face first, then his chest which had vomit on it. He wasn’t too worried
about Shawn peeing himself, but he was very concerned, all the while talking to
him, “Shawn, what is going on with this? I am going to call an ambulance.”
Shawn heard the word “ambulance” he looked at his uncle terrified, “No…don’t
He couldn’t say much more as he felt too weak. His legs started shaking
with spasms coming on, the strong alcohol in his system triggering the
spasticity as his body was trying to figure out what was going on.
watched over Shawn until after about 20 minutes Ceci and Marcy showed up,
rushing into the room, Ceci kneeling down right away, “Shawn, what are you
women smelled and saw the vomit and felt slightly sick in their own stomachs.
ran to get some more towels as Randy stated, “He is totally wasted. I think we
should call an ambulance. He is going into spasticity too.”
moved some and mumbled, “I don’t want an ambulance. I don’t want to go to the
hospital. Please don’t let them take me…I will be O.K.”
replied, “You are not O.K. Shawn…sorry buddy…”
legs were jumping on the floor like they had a life of their own and his belly
retracted in another spasm.
at that moment Randy caught another scent in his nose and asked Shawn, “Do you
have to go to the bathroom for some other business?”
barely opened his eyes and when he looked at his uncle his eyes were blood
Faintly he remembered taking a stool softener earlier in the day and he
shifted some, mumbling, “Fuck...”
took some quick breaths and Randy remarked, “Here, I will get you into the
bathroom and onto the toilet. Help me Ceci!”
didn’t bother putting Shawn in his wheelchair. Instead he grabbed him under his
arms from behind and dragged Shawn into his bathroom. Ceci followed them into
the bathroom. Shawn didn’t do anything and was barely able to hold his eyes
the bathroom Randy held Shawn under his arms and looked over to Ceci, “Pull his
pants down, so I can get him on the toilet.”
pulled Shawn’s sweat pants down over his trembling legs and then his boxers which
showed a small amount of feces already. She ended up pulling everything off and
throwing it in the corner of the bathroom, “We have to put some other clothes
was strong enough and managed to lift Shawn on the toilet but had to hold him steady on the
toilet seat as Shawn was swaying and not balanced at all. His legs were oddly
strewn in front of him falling to the side with more spasticity as he just sat
there on the toilet, his head hanging and fortunately not really knowing what
his cousin and uncle witnessed at that time, not really showing himself from
his best side.
squatted in front of him, “Shawn, you have to help us get this done.”
didn’t say anything but instead of any help from his side the alcohol in his
system and the stool softener did its part right then and there. Ceci looked up
at her dad, who was holding Shawn upright as good as he could, not letting him
slouch down or fall forward or off the toilet.
stood outside the bathroom and saw the ordeal they were all going through, “Do
you guys need my help?”
turned around, “Maybe you can find another pair of sweat pants or shorts for
hurried into Shawn’s room and went through his closet finding a pair of shorts
but not too worried about underwear.
she brought the shorts, Ceci, Randy and Shawn still in the same positions, Ceci
remarked, “We should put some adult briefs on him too when he is done with this
and cleaned up.”
walked away again and soon thereafter returned with the adult incontinence
Shawn was done the women helped clean him up again in silence, not too excited
about anything that was going on but really no choice but to help Shawn in
those moments of totally loosing control of his body. Randy kept helping Shawn
to sit up and pull him up so they could get to him and clean him up. Eventually
he was cleaned up enough and had a fresh pair of briefs and shorts on.
ambulance got there after about twenty minutes and Marcy let them in, two
paramedics with a stretcher and one with a backpack on. Randy had dragged Shawn
back into his bedroom again. When Shawn saw the paramedics he freaked out and pushed
himself away from Ceci who was sitting on the floor holding him now.
yelled, “I don’t want to go to the fucking hospital…”
Ceci tried to calm him down he pushed her away violently.
pleaded, “Shawn, please, let us help you!”
of the paramedics stepped into the room and introduced himself calmly, “Hi Shawn,
I am Trevor. My colleague over there is Pete. We are just here to make sure you
was talking to Randy outside the room, asking questions about Shawn’s condition
pertaining to his disability, the situation that had occurred, asked about
medications and the alcohol consumption. Randy could only tell them what he
knew and Pete made quick scribbly notes on his report.
in his bedroom Shawn was screaming at Trevor not to touch him and he pressed
himself against his bed, trying to get away from Trevor.
Shawn was spastic and violently tried to fight off Trevor, Pete prepared a
syringe with a sedative. With the alcohol in his bloodstream Shawn could only
receive a very small dose of the sedative.
explained to everyone what he was doing and then signaled Randy to go into the
room with Trevor and Shawn and hold Shawn down while he would quickly give him
the injection in his arm.
was screaming and fighting and it was difficult for Randy to witness his nephew
falling apart like this. Shawn knew exactly what they were doing and he pulled
his uncle down right when the sedative set in and made his body
collapse, tears were streaming down his face and he managed, “Uncle Randy,
please don’t tell Jesse, promise you won’t call him…He can’t find out…”
Randy didn’t answer right away Shawn repeated in a weak slur, “Promise me!”
nodded and confirmed, “I promise…I won’t call Jesse.”
eyes closed and his body fully collapsed into Trevor’s arms. They transferred
him onto the stretcher, laid him onto his side somewhat, covered him up and
strapped him down.
couldn’t help shed a few tears at seeing Shawn in this state.
As they attached the stretcher to its frame in the back of the ambulance, Pete
explained, “We will take him to St. Peter Hospital. Is that O.K. for you?”
nodded, “Can we follow you?”
was alone in her apartment, her roommate was at work and she still cried when
she put her things away in her room. Shawn was on her mind the whole time and
she saw his sad face and heard his angry voice. Doubts about everything that
had happened between her and Shawn surfaced, her intentions of being with
Shawn, her attraction to him and her being the way she was. She felt horrible
and lying on her bed, she sobbed into her pillow. She just couldn’t imagine
that what Shawn and she had would end this way. She clasped her pillow tight and
the hospital Shawn was pushed into a room in the Emergency Department. He was
moved from the stretcher to the bed and hooked up to a bag of fluids, vitamins
and minerals, replenishing his system. He was still sedated and slept through
the whole process of getting hooked up to the IV.
doctor ordered ongoing fluids and anxiety medication to keep Shawn calm. He was
going to be admitted for observation. The spasticity that had severely set in
at the house had subsided some when Shawn had been given the sedative.
Marcy and Ceci were at his bedside, but there was not much they could do. Shawn
would have to sleep off the intoxication and be monitored for his vitals.
they all sat in the small room of the Emergency Department, waiting for Shawn
to get a room assigned in the Observation Unit, Ceci asked her dad, “What
happened between Shawn and Trish?”
answered, “I actually don’t know. He didn’t tell me, he was wasted when I got
there. I got the text message from Trish, stating they had a fight, Shawn had
apparently kicked her out and she was worried about him.”
is strange, I thought they were actually together now.”
shrugged his shoulders, “That is what I thought and that is also what the boys
had heard. I am debating if I should call Jesse.”
cut in, “You promised him you wouldn’t call Jesse, don’t break your promise.”
nodded, “You are right, I won’t call the boy. He needs to do his job down there
and make some money. I can stay here with Shawn tonight if you ladies want to
proposed, “Actually I was going to offer that. I want to stay here with him.
You and Marcy go home. Hopefully he will be O.K. by tomorrow and gets to go
home. I will take him to my house then. He will stay with me and Paul.”
agreed and he and Marcy left the hospital at ten o’clock that night. By that
time Shawn had been admitted to a room on the Observation Unit and Ceci made
herself as comfortable as possible on the recliner in the room and called her
hospital gown had been put on Shawn, the nurse had placed an indwelling Foley
catheter and laying on his side he was sleeping deeply, the yellow IV fluid
dripping into his veins, the machines monitoring his vital signs beeping softly.
talked to her fiancé for about thirty minutes, then turned the TV on low with
just a dim light on over Shawn’s bed.
dozed off for a few hours during the night and only blinked over toward Shawn
when she heard the nurse checking his IV fluids and vitals. The nurse looked
over at Ceci and whispered with a smile, “He is doing really good.”
smiled at her sleepily and the nurse left again.
had cried herself to sleep and was startled when she heard rustling in the
apartment after midnight, quickly remembering though that she was at her own
place and that Katie was most likely getting home from work. She scrambled out
of bed and quietly opened her bedroom door to peek out into the living room.
She didn’t want to scare Katie with her being in the apartment and when she
looked out she saw Katie standing in a tight embrace with her boyfriend Mark
kissing wildly. Trish didn’t bother announcing her presence and quietly closed
the bedroom door again. Katie had her boyfriend over, and she was not going to bother
them. They would see her in the morning.
was still in her scrubs and took them off, slipping into her sleep clothes. She
needed to go to bathroom and when she heard Katie and Mark had disappeared into
Katie’s bedroom she tip toed into the bathroom. Her face was red and blotchy,
her eyes were swollen from crying so much. She washed off, brushed her teeth
and peed, then went back to her bedroom with a glass of water.
her bedroom she pulled out her phone and looked at the pictures of Shawn and
tears were streaming down her face once again. She had no idea what she would
do to let Shawn know the reality of her being a devotee. She had to explain it
all to him and she needed to change his mind. She loved him so much and yes, it
was a plus that he was paraplegic but her attraction to him was more than that,
she loved him more than just for his disability and she needed to make that
clear to him somehow.
barely slept that night and felt exhausted when the night turned into Thursday
morning but at least she was off.
and Mark sat in the apartments’ small kitchenette at the table with coffee mugs
and cereal in front of them when Trish walked in and Katie asked surprised,
“Trish, what are you doing here?”
silently took her mug and filled it with fresh coffee, then joined the two at
asked again, “I thought you were at Shawn’s house. Why are you here and why do
you look like a total mess?”
drank a sip and then answered lowly, “Shawn and I had a fight and he kicked me
didn’t know about Trish’s devotee side and with that Trish couldn’t tell her
the truth of what had really happened between her and Shawn.
you out…like fired you?”
thought you guys were kind of hitting if off?”
were but it is over now.”
leaned over and took Trish’s hand, “Are you O.K.?”
felt tears come up in her eyes again, “Not really but I will be.”
why…I mean what happened…I saw the pictures of you and Shawn and you looked so
swallowed, “I can’t tell you everything right now but I am back here for now. I
may tell you the whole deal sometime.”
looked at Mark, who had been quietly just sitting there and listening to Trish.
cleared his throat, “I am going to leave in an hour or so.”
smiled under tears, “No Mark, you don’t have leave because of me. I will just
grab some food and go to my room.”
was still worried about her roommate, “Is there anything I can do for you,
leaned down to Katie, gave her a little hug and assured her, “No, I am fine.
some cereal and more coffee Trish disappeared in her room again.
was almost ten o’clock when her phone played its ringtone. She saw an unknown
but local number on her phone and debated if she should answer. After a moment
she took the call, “Hello?”
Ceci, Shawn’s cousin.”
was nervous now, “Ceci, Hi!”
started, “Hey, how are you?”
I am calling because we are worried. What is going on with you and Shawn?”
didn’t know how to explain everything to anyone and especially not Shawn’s
cousin. She thought about what to say, “We had a fight.”
sounded worried, “A fight that was bad enough to put Shawn in the hospital last
night. Where are you?”
felt her heart beat quickly at hearing the news from Ceci, “Shawn is in the hospital?”
is going to be fine but last night he overdid it with the booze. He puked, went
into spasms, and attacked the paramedics we called and other not so fun things.
Trish, what happened between you both? I thought…we all thought you guys were
felt a tear roll down her cheek and said lowly, “We were…but it is better this
way. We had a fall out about some things and Shawn fired me and kicked me out.
If there is anything I could ask you is not to tell Jesse about any of this.
They need Jesse to finish this job.”
remarked, “Yes, they sure do but how do you intend to keep this secret from
is eating breakfast in his room, I stepped outside for a moment to call you.”
long will he have to stay in the hospital?”
he will get discharged this afternoon. I will take him to my house. Trish, I
wish you would tell me what happened?”
felt the tears stream down her face, “I can’t really talk about it. I am sorry
Ceci. Ask Shawn and please don’t tell Jesse.”
pushed on, “Trish, I think Shawn cares a whole lot about you.”
care a lot about him but I have to go now. It is better this way.”
was going to say something else but Trish hung up on her and cried again. She
knew she couldn’t talk to Shawn’s family anymore. She would leave it up to him
to explain and if he told them what kind of sick monster he thought she was she
couldn’t do anything about it.
walked back into Shawn’s room, he sat somewhat up in his bed, the bed tray over
his lap and he poked around in his food with his fork, not really eating,
absent minded looking at the plate in front of him. He glanced up at her. The
IV was still attached to him, fluid running through tubing into a port on the
top of his hand.
remember too much about the accidents he had had the night before, and the attack on
the paramedics. He didn’t remember coming into the hospital and getting a
room assigned. Now he looked sad and tired and didn’t feel like eating.
sat down next to the bed, “You should eat something! They won’t let you leave
if you don’t eat.”
didn’t say anything and Ceci kept her eyes on him, he didn’t look at her.
you want to tell me what happened between you and Trish?”
shook his head.
that moment Ceci’s phone played its ringtone and when she looked at it she
announced, “It is your brother.”
eyes flickered nervously and before he could stop Ceci from answering she had
already done so, “Jesse, Hey!”
watched Ceci as she started, “Yes, well, he is here next to me. We are at the
had been worried when he tried to call Shawn in the morning and got no answer,
tried to call Trish and got a message that her phone was not on and to leave a
was his next try and he was shocked to hear the news, “At the hospital?”
I let him tell you himself, do you want to talk to him?”
Jesse sounded worried.
handed Shawn the phone and Shawn barely greeted Jesse, “Hey!”
what is going on?”
I got sick.”
voice was louder now, “Sick, what the hell are you talking about?”
got up and walked out of the room to give Shawn some privacy with Jesse.
Shawn didn’t reply right away Jesse asked, “Where is Trish?”
her, what the hell is going on? What are you talking about?”
to his worries he sounded mad now, “Shawn, what the fuck?”
shouldn’t have done all this in the first place.”
what is going on?”
put his fork down and pushed the table over, “Trish is gone and I am in the
hospital. Don’t ask me anything else!”
am coming up there this weekend.”
don’t have to come up, Randy and Ceci are going to check on me.”
was frustrated with Shawn’s attitude and asked sternly into the phone, “What
did you do to Trish?”
felt anger come up, “I didn’t do anything, O.K. Just let it go. Do your job and
leave me the fuck alone. You can call Trish and you can try to make a move on
her again but I doubt she will go for it because apparently she is only into fucking
didn’t give Jesse a chance to say anything else and clicked the call off.
rang again a moment later, Jesse once again but Shawn didn’t answer.
stared out of the window, watching as the sky filled with dark clouds, rain in
the forecast for the whole weekend.
really didn’t know how everything would go for him now.
did get discharged that afternoon and even though Ceci wanted Shawn to stay
with her or her dad, the reality was that his own house was really the best
place for him, because it was somewhat accessible for him, better than all
decided that Shawn would stay at his house and someone would check on him every
day but for the weekend Ceci was going to stay with him. Everyone was worried
about Shawn and they didn’t want to leave him by himself.
the way home, Shawn silently sat in Ceci’s car and looked out the
side window at the city going by, turning into suburbs and eventually the
Highway out to his house, rolling hills covered with evergreen trees.
tried to cheer him up somewhat but Shawn didn’t really respond to her attempts
of having a conversation.
couldn’t stop thinking about Trish and the previous day kept going through his
mind and he couldn’t believe that this dream had turned into a full blown
kept his phone off and was reluctant to turn it on, because he really didn’t
want to see any missed calls from Trish or Jesse, he didn’t want to talk to
looked over at Shawn and felt sorry for him. She could tell that this situation
was not easy for him. He didn’t look at her and just stared out the window.
Randy’s truck was parked in front of the house. He had come to the house in the
morning and had cleaned up the mess from the night before. Ceci pulled into the
yard and blew her horn at seeing her dad’s truck. A moment later Randy and
Marcy came out on the front porch. Randy came down the steps and Ceci hugged
her dad. Shawn had opened the passenger door and was waiting for his wheelchair
when his uncle brought it around to him, “Hey son! Are you feeling better?”
shrugged his shoulders and pulling his wheelchair closer to the car he
transferred under the watchful eyes of his uncle.
glanced at his uncle as he wheeled by him toward the ramp. Marcy greeted Shawn
at the top of the ramp, “Hey Shawn, we are glad they let you go home already.”
was about to lean down to him to give him a hug but Shawn didn’t really stop
and wheeled by her. Marcy stepped back and let him pass.
the house it smelled like cleaning supplies and when Randy came in behind Shawn
he explained, “We cleaned your room and all.”
managed a low, “Thank you.”
didn’t want to hang out, he didn’t want to talk to anyone and wheeled right
back to his bedroom. It smelled of freshly cleaned carpet and his bed was made
and clean. The washer and dryer in the laundry room were running, busy with the
dirty laundry from the day before.
pushed his door closed behind him, he wanted to be alone. It didn’t take long
though until it knocked softly and he heard his uncle’s voice, “Shawn, can I
talk to you for a moment?”
sighed and called lowly, “Yeah.”
Randy came into the room. Shawn was in his wheelchair and Randy sat down on the
foot end of the bed looking at his nephew, “Hey, I know you don’t feel like
talking or whatever but we need to.”
looked up at his uncle with dark eyes but didn’t speak. Randy started, “So
Trish, did you really kick her out or what?”
nodded and replied softly, “I fired her, she won’t come here anymore.”
took a deep breath, “I don’t know what happened but you know Jesse is freaking
out right now with this situation. I wish you would tell us what happened.”
very lowly Shawn replied, “I can’t talk about it and I won’t. I will be O.K.
here until Jesse gets back and that is really all there is to it.”
said lowly, “I thought you and Trish had hit it off…”
don’t want to talk about it and I wish everyone would leave me alone right
shifted on the bed, “I talked Jesse out of coming up here this weekend. The boy
needs to do his job down there and not worry about you. Ceci will stay with you
this weekend, maybe Paul will come tomorrow night. Next week the boys and I
will check on you every day. You have three more weeks left until Jesse is done
with the job and you need to deal with us now Shawn. Whatever happened between
you and that girl, I don’t know but Jesse can’t afford to quit this job. You
wanted a car, we wanted to take out the carpet in this house; you boys need
moved his chair around some and faced the window, away from his uncle. He
didn’t say anything.
realized there was not going to be much communication from Shawn and he got up,
“Shawn, we all love you and I hope you know that you can talk to us about
anything. Even if you don’t want Jesse to know, I get it. We are here for you
but don’t do anything stupid. I am going to take off with Marcy in a little
while, Ceci will stay here with you.”
walked over to Shawn and placed his large hand on Shawn’s shoulder for a
moment, “You are like a son to me and I hope you know that.”
Shawn didn’t respond Randy said, “I will see you this weekend.”
didn’t say anything and his uncle walked out of his room.
wanted to be alone and to his surprise Ceci didn’t complain when he came out of
the bathroom around seven and told her lowly, “I am going to bed.”
was stretched out on Jesse’s recliner and even though she was worried about
Shawn she wouldn’t pressure him into talking or doing anything. Ceci had a good
sense of realizing that this situation was hard on Shawn and he was dealing
with something about Trish. She would wait for him to come to her if he needed
to talk. She would keep watch over him and be there for him just in case.
called out to him, “Good Night Shawn. I am here if you need me.”
wheeled away to his bedroom and after a clumsy transfer and adjusting his legs
in the bed he fell on his pillow. He was exhausted from the day and the shower
shortly before. When he turned his phone on there was no missed call on it. Part of
him had hoped so much that maybe Trish had tried to call him but apparently she
had not. He went on his Facebook profile and looked at the pictures of him and
felt devastated about the things he had seen and found out and couldn’t believe
how Trish could be a woman like that. Everything had seemed so perfect.
eyes stayed on his favorite picture of Trish on his lap, both smiling and with
a click he deleted the picture and he felt his heart break a little.
laid there thinking about everything his vision got blurry and he whispered to
himself, “This is all so fucked up.”
had spent her day mostly in her bedroom, brooding over everything and crying in
between. She declined calls from Jesse and Shawn’s cousins and uncle. She
couldn’t talk to anyone about these things. No one knew but her online friends
and with a heavy heart she wrote a message about the situation on the board and
within an hour she had nine responses from the women trying to somehow help her
with words and make her feel better. Instead of feeling better though she felt
even worse. She cried herself to sleep for the second night.