Thursday, November 20, 2014
Three's A Crowd Chapter 11
Jesse is gone and Trish and Shawn have no choice but to interact with each other and talk about things. Shawn is letting Trish only get very few glimpses into his mind but her attraction to him is undeniable.
Trish watched Jesse’s pickup truck disappear in the distance and she then turned her eyes to Shawn. She saw him wipe over his face with his arm but he stayed where he was. She was debating if he needed her help, the yard was bumpy and rocky and was most likely difficult to maneuver with the wheelchair and especially with his broken wrist.
She knew he would probably decline her offer to help but she called out to him anyways, “Shawn, are you O.K.?”
He turned his head toward her, nodding and calling back, “Yes!”
Shawn put his hands to his rims and spun his chair around. He hoped Trish wouldn’t stand there and watch him somewhat clumsily make his way back to the house. He was relieved when he saw her disappear inside the house. With difficulties he made it back to the ramp and pushed his chair up. Everything was much more complicated with his hand in a cast.
Once up on the ramp he wheeled over to the side of the front porch and caught his breath. He didn’t want to wheel inside yet as he was still dealing with his emotions of Jesse leaving. Sitting there out on the porch he thought about how everything had been for him and Jesse the last eighteen months. He sometimes wished he could turn back the clock to before the accident when things were still good for him and Jesse.
After about fifteen minutes the front door opened and Trish came out, holding a beer in her hand.
Shawn looked over at her and she smiled, “I know Jesse told me you have to cut back on the drinking but I thought you could use a cold one right about now.”
Shawn was surprised and also slightly amused at her bluntness but the cold beer did appeal to him.
She held out the bottle to him, “Yes – No?”
He took it from her smiling, “Thanks! That’s thoughtful of you.”
She smiled, “No problem…would it be o.k. for me to join you out here?”
Twisting the lid of the bottle he glanced up from under his bangs, “Yeah sure.”
She plopped into one of the two rocking chairs on the porch, “Are you O.K.?”
Shawn looked at the beer in his hand, “Yeah!”
Trish added lowly, “I know it must be weird for you seeing your brother leave and all. I know you guys are very close.”
Shawn didn’t say anything but nodded and took a sip of the cold beer, making him realize how dry his throat had been. The cold brew felt good going down.
He looked out in the yard and saw Rocky, the cat, creeping around on soft paws looking for insects or rodents.
Trish asked lowly after a while, “Shawn?”
He looked over at her, “Hhm?”
“I want to make this work you know…I mean with helping you and stuff.”
Shawn took another sip of his beer and nodded slightly but still didn’t say anything.
Trish was intimidated but continued, “…you know I am nervous…but I know about paraplegia and the issues that come with it. I know it is difficult now with your wrist broken and your hand in a cast.”
Shawn looked away, listening to her quietly.
Trish kept on, “This is what I want to do. I want to know everything about you being paraplegic. I know it is not easy for you, but I want to help you with whatever you need or want help with and I mean anything Shawn…I know some things are very personal, but I am ready. I want you to feel comfortable around me and please tell me what I can do to make you feel O.K.”
Shawn kept looking out into the yard and started lowly, “The only person who has been around me since the accident has been Jesse…” he paused, then added, “…even when I was still in the hospital Jesse did things for me all the time, he was already half way there to be a nurse. Of course the actual nurses were glad he was there helping so much, that made it easier for them.”
Trish remarked softly, “He is a great brother and he cares about you very much, but he wants to move on now.”
Shawn nodded, “I know.”
He drank from his beer again and then looked over at Trish. She was beautiful and he still couldn’t imagine that she would live with him for a few weeks. He really couldn’t picture Trish being his PA.
Trish smiled, “It is still early in the afternoon and I thought maybe we can take a little drive or something. Maybe go to town and hang out but only if you want to. It is a nice warm day.”
Shawn wasn’t sure about going anywhere, he was a little tired and felt depressed but then again he knew Trish probably wouldn’t only be hanging out at the house with him for the next couple of weeks, “I don’t know.”
Trish suggested carefully, “We could take a stroll around Capitol Lake. There is a nice trail there.”
Shawn had not been at Capitol Lake in years, “Is it paved?”
Trish thought for a moment and then answered lowly, “No, but the trail is like compacted sand and pebbles and sturdy to walk on…or wheel on I believe. If it is too strenuous with your hand I could push you or we could do something else.”
Shawn did not like the idea of Trish pushing him at all, he would avoid that at all cost. He didn’t even like Jesse to push him even when there was really no other way. He had enough trouble being in a wheelchair and someone else pushing him would not make it better. He always tried to avoid the situation.
Trish felt Shawn’s tension about the idea, “I think it would be nice to get out a little, mingle and get some sun…”
Shawn shrugged his shoulders, “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to get away from here a bit.”
Trish got up and smiled at him, “That’s the spirit.”
Shawn looked up at her and when she met his eyes he felt a surge go through him, thinking about how attractive she was and how beautiful her smile was.
He took a last gulp of the beer and followed Trish into the house, the empty bottle in his lap. As he rolled into the kitchen he saw Trish’s lap top set up on the kitchen table.
Trish walked toward her room, “I will get my stuff and get ready.”
Shawn replied, “I have to do some stuff before we go too. I will be right out.”
He wheeled to his bathroom and inside he washed his hands and opened up another sterile catheter to drain his bladder. He was nervous at the prospect of leaving the house with Trish and he needed to make sure he had all his stuff with him.
Once he was done in the bathroom he wheeled to his bedroom and gathered his cell phone and his back pack. His back pack held items he could possibly need while out and about. Among other things he had his medications, catheters, water, incontinence briefs and a change of clothes.
He set the back pack on his lap and wheeled out to the kitchen where Trish was gathering her things, “Are you ready?”
He nodded, “I think so.”
Trish smiled, “O.K.….I will pull my car up to the ramp so you don’t have to push yourself through the yard.”
Shawn followed her outside and locked the door behind himself. Trish walked toward her car.
He let his chair roll down the ramp slowly, slightly holding his rims back to break the speed. Trish parked her car on the bottom of the ramp.
As Shawn opened the passenger door Trish came around to his side, “You want to put your backpack in the back seat?”
Shawn shook his head and answered, “No, I will keep it up front with me. Can you hold it for a moment?” Trish nodded and he handed her his back pack.
Without words she witnessed Shawn transferring into her car.
Curiously she watched him from under her bangs, trying not to stare too much but mesmerized by the transfer and feeling excitement creep up inside.
Under the short sleeves of his T-Shirt she caught glimpses of his biceps and triceps at work as he placed his casted hand on the car seat and his other hand helping push over his body from his wheelchair and his lifeless legs still dangling out of the car. With both hands Shawn then grabbed his left leg under the knee and lifted it into the car, repeating the process with the right leg and positioning both somewhat aligned in front of himself on the floor board. For a moment he glanced up at Trish in the process of lifting his legs and he saw her eyes fixed on him. He adjusted his seating and then pulled his chair over a bit. When he looked up at Trish again he realized she had been watching him closely the whole time.
Trish snapped out of the moment and looked away embarrassed as Shawn commented sharply, “Enjoying the show?”
She was thrown off and surprised at his wording. She tried to think of what to do or say, not sure if she had made Shawn angry with her stares. Shawn quietly pulled his wheelchair closer next to the car and she observed him folding it up quickly.
He then looked up at her again and asked lowly, “Can you stash that in the trunk or something?”
Trish walked up, handed him his back pack and took the chair from him, “Yeah, sure!”
She was able to store the chair into the trunk of her car, then she went around to the driver’s side and got in.
She still felt embarrassed for having stared at Shawn and in the car she looked over at him and when he met her eyes she started lowly, “Shawn, I am sorry I stared a moment ago. I just….” she paused.
Shawn kept his eyes on Trish, making her nervous as she tried to excuse herself, “…I just have never seen…”
She didn’t finish her sentence, Shawn’s dark gaze fixed on her when he asked with a tense undertone, “Didn’t you say you knew about paraplegia?”
Trish took a breath and said lowly, “I did say that…and I do know…”
She was lost for words and felt uneasy with Shawn’s interrogation.
Deciding not to let him intimidate her any longer she looked directly at him, “I am sorry, O.K.!”
Shawn didn’t say anything, recognizing Trish’s agitated tone, “Do you still want to go or are you going to be angry at me now?”
Shawn took his eyes off her, shifted and said lowly, “Well, you will be seeing lots of transfers for the next couple of weeks so I would appreciate you being a little less invasive with your stares.”
Trish didn’t say a word and started the car.
She was annoyed with Shawn’s behavior but tried to tell herself that he was probably right and she needed to be more respectful.
Shawn felt strange riding as a passenger in the car with a woman. It had been a long time since he had been in that situation. When he did have a woman in the car it had usually been him behind the wheel. Trish had the car radio tuned in to a Classic Rock station.
Shawn still thought about the moment earlier and questioned if he had possibly been too rude to Trish. She probably hadn’t meant any harm in watching him transfer into the car. He thought of something to say but felt nervous and stayed quiet, keeping his eyes straight ahead on the road.
Trish still felt a little off in Shawn’s presence and she also pondered on the situation from a while ago. After all she was excited to be with him and hoped that they would somehow find a way to get along in the next couple of weeks.
She knew the night with Jesse had been odd and she wondered if Shawn had an idea. She had been drunk and Jesse with his sexy smile, his kindness and his good looks had brought on the one-night stand. Jesse had been open to her and she had felt a connection between Jesse and herself. It was like he was inviting her to get closer to him. There was no doubt that Jesse was attracted to her and she had felt it the couple of times they were together. The alcohol had stripped her of her reservations the night before and even though she felt a tremendous attraction to Shawn, he had not given her any signs whereas Jesse wasn’t as complicated and mysterious as Shawn.
She had been longing to be close to someone. Feeling somewhat insecure about herself, Jesse had drawn her in with his friendly and compassionate attitude. He had felt good for her and even though he had made sure she knew that he had to leave she had felt content about sleeping with him. He hadn’t jumped right in but had talked to her, had held her and had not for one moment given her the feeling of only going for a quick sexual fling with a drunk and naïve girl.
Jesse was a good guy for sure but he was gone now and there was Shawn sitting quietly next to her, surrounded by an invisible wall built on pain, insecurity and anger. She wanted to get through to him, feeling such an intense attraction to him which would possibly be hard to explain but she also wanted to get to know Shawn and make him enjoy life again.