Recap Chapter 20
Matthew awakens in a hospital bed after a short
induced coma. He is in a bad shape with a concussion, a sprained wrist and a
few broken ribs. As soon as he feels better and gets his wheelchair back, he
convinces the doctor to release him.
I try to busy
myself all afternoon waiting for Cassie’s visit. We called each other already
five times today, and we can’t seem to be away from one another more than a few
hours. She is thrilled to know I’ll be coming home tomorrow. It feels like ages
but it will only be a week since the accident I had last Friday. I can’t wait
to be out of here and spend the next week-end home. I watch TV for a while, I
read a few magazines, and then I hang out in the hospital cafeteria for a
couple of hours. Thank God, I am free from the IV and the leg bag and I wheel
back and forth trying to move my wheelchair with one arm. It is not easy but
the strapping around my chest helps. It is tight, from under my armpits to my
mid-section and not very comfortable, but it eases the pain when I push on my
rims.
A young girl, obviously depressed is seated in front of a table . She is
leaned on her elbows with her face in her hands, and a pair of crutches is
hooked on the back of her chair. As I
wheel closer I see she is amputated of the right leg above the knee. She has a
big bandage on her stump and she seems to be crying. I stop next to her and ask
very gently, “Hey, are you in pain? Should I call a nurse?”
“No. I’m not in
pain.”
She sounds
irritated.
“Care for some
company then?”
She raises her
head slowly and looks at me; at my face first, then at my wheelchair and my
legs. She looks young; my guess would be under twenty.
“Are you
paralyzed?"
“Yes.”
“Have you been
here long?”
“Six days.”
She looks
puzzled and I realize the misunderstanding, “Oh no! I’ve been in this chair for
over a year now. I’m here because I had a car accident.”
I show her my
arm cast and point at the scar on my head as a proof. She stops crying and I see
a lopsided grin appear on the corner of her mouth, “Same for me. I lost my leg
three years ago, but I am here for an infection. Usually I wear a prosthesis
but my stump got infected. I have to walk with crutches and it’s a bummer.”
“Yeah. I know
the feeling.”
“You can walk
with crutches?”
“Not really
walk but I can stand for a while and take a few steps. You would definitely
beat me in a race.”
She gives me a
childish smile and I grin back at her adding, “So… is it the reason why you are
crying? Because of the crutches?”
She sighs and looks
at me impatiently, “No. You don’t get it.”
“I am sorry but
I am no psychic. How can I know why you are crying, if it is not for your
missing leg?”
She has a hard
expression on her face as if she has been through a lot. She is not a beauty
queen, but the freckles on her nose and cheeks give her a cute face. With her
short red hair she has the look of a tomboy. She is tall and slender but
heavily built, as if she exercises a lot. I can see her only leg is perfectly muscle-toned
and she seems to have wide shoulders.
“What’s your
name, wheeler?”
“Matthew. And
you?”
She doesn’t
answer and gives me an impudent look. What the hell is wrong with that girl!
Her response is
replaced by another question, “Do you like sports?”
I take my
captain’s bossy voice now, “I can’t know your name and you keep on asking
questions? Yes I do, why?”
“So you can
understand what it is like to miss a very important competition.”
“You are right.
I can understand that.”
“My passion is
swimming. When I lost my leg in a bicycle accident I was already having good
results. Six months after my accident I was back in the pool. It was good for
my rehabilitation and my mental health. I exerted myself like crazy to come
back where I was before the accident. I am an athlete you know.”
She is really a
piece of work, but I like her self-confidence. She’ll go a long way in life.
I reckon she is
brave with a strong will. She goes on, “A few months ago a head coach noticed
me and signed me up for the qualifying rounds of the Paralympics.”
“But that’s
awesome!”
“It was. Except
that it is happening right now, and because of this I can’t be part of it. I
don’t even have a chance to qualify anymore.”
She hits her
stump with her fist in a rage and starts crying again. I’m really sorry for her
because I’ve experienced this frustration. I missed a lot of good games this
past year, and I will never hold the Stanley cup again because my career is
over. That’s the big difference between us.
“Hey, stop
crying. Your life is not over. You are young. You will have another chance, and
most of all, you can do something you like. You are a strong character. You
will get what you want. If it is not the Paralympics, I bet you will accomplish
great things. Look at me. I was an athlete too, if I can call myself so. I was
a professional hockey player and I loved what I did. I may have my two legs,
but they are both useless now, and they prevent me from doing what I like. I
will never be able to play hockey again or win any trophies. But I don’t let
this hardship defeat me. I’m a fighter and you are too. You will overcome
this.”
I have the
feeling to be in the locker-room, talking to my teammates to motivate them and
cheer them up. Her eyes still full of tears meet mine and her look softens. She
puts a hand on my shoulder, leans on me and hugs me. I don’t know what to do, so
I just hug her back and we stay awkwardly like this in the middle of the
cafeteria until she speaks again, “My name is Lisa and I will turn eighteen
tomorrow.”
I grin, “Well
Lisa, Happy Birthday. Will you have visitors to celebrate?”
“Just my
parents.”
“No boyfriend?”
“I have one but
he is also a competing swimmer, so he won’t be able to come.”
“Sorry to hear
that. I am sure he will make it up to you.”
She is staring at
me now in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable.
“You know you have
beautiful eyes Matthew. And a sexy mouth. You are hot actually. If I didn’t have a boyfriend I
would hit on you.”
I burst out laughing
but my ribs aren’t in the mood at all and send me a cruel reminder. I wince
holding my breath with my good hand clenched to my side.
“Matthew, are
you ok?”
Lisa is holding
my arm, her voice concerned. Before I can answer, Cassie is in front of me, “Matt!
Here you are. You scared the hell out of me. Your room is empty and nobody seems
to know where you are.”
“Well you found
me, so I wasn’t that hard to find.”
I am still
holding my side biting my lip and Cassie looks suddenly upset. Is it about
seeing me in pain or the hand of the young patient still on my forearm? My
guess is a little bit of both.
“What is
happening here Matt?”
I catch up my
breath in a laborious sigh, “Cassie, meet Lisa. Lisa, meet Cassie. It's Lisa’s
fault. She is a funny girl and she made me laugh. Well, Lisa it’s been a
pleasure talking to you. I think I am going to go back to my room now, but I
will come to say goodbye before I leave tomorrow.”
“I’d like that
Matthew.”
I wheel backwards
with one hand, but when I spin around I bump into a table and two chairs. I groan and wince again.
“Ok Mister. Let
me push you to your room.”
Cassie puts her
hands in my back and helps me move in the right direction. Over my shoulder I
give Lisa a wink and she gives me a thumb-up signing at Cassie.
“Matt who’s
that girl?”
“Someone I have
a common interest with.”
Cassie asked me
casually, but I know she is curious about her, and my answer is not really what
she wishes to hear. To ease her hint of jealousy I sum her up the whole
conversation.
“Oh! Poor girl.
I saw the crutches but I didn’t notice she was amputated. I am glad you could
talk to her. You always find the right words to make people feel better.”
“Thanks Babe.”
I know she is
not done with me yet and has more to say. I could have guessed her next concern, “Is it my
tortuous and suspicious mind or she was into you?”
I smile
mischievously with a ‘I can’t help it shrug’, “Yep, she definitely was.”
And right away
I get a flick on the cheek from behind.
“Ouch! I am
going to file a complaint. You have no mercy for a poor injured cripple.”
We are back in
the room and I transfer onto my bed. The strapping around my chest is really
tight and if it helped before, I have trouble breathing again. Maybe I stayed
too long in a sitting position, but I am not going to complain for fear of
delaying my release. I just lie down hoping to ease the discomfort. We are both silent. Me, from the recurring pain I try to overcome and Cassie, undoubtedly trying to cope with my friendly encounter. She is nonetheless seated
on the bed beside me caressing my face gently and it helps me relax. I couldn't say the same for her. I choose not to start any debate and don't mention anything. The least I need right now is entering into an
argument and she is clever and tactful enough to let it go. I know though she
is fighting hard her jealousy demons.
A little
bit later, while we are eating our ‘not so mouth-watering hospital dinner’, we
hear a knock on the door. Usually the nurses knock and enter without waiting
for an answer, but this time the door doesn’t open.
“Yes? Who is
it?”
I look
questioningly at Cassie, and she gets up to open the door. A man we don’t know
peeps his head into the room, “Mr. Vincent?”
“That would be
me. Who’s asking?”
“I’m…er…the
truck driver who had the accident with you. Can I come in for a second?”
“Hmm… I guess.”
Cassie lets him in. He stands in front of the
bed looking at me timidly, and I smile inside. He is a huge black guy, beefy
and tall and his bashful attitude doesn’t match his trucker look.
“Er…I wanted to
see how you were doing…and…er… apologize.”
He is wringing
his hands scrutinizing me awkwardly. I am in bed propped against pillows, my
bare chest strapped in the heavy bandage, my right arm in a cast and my
forehead purplier than ever. I must look terrible from the stare he is giving
me. Then he focuses on the empty wheelchair by the bed, and can’t tear his eyes
away from it. Oh no! I can’t let him think that. I need to set the record
straight, “Hey man, you didn’t do this. I’m bruised here and there, but that’s
all. I’ve seen worse. I’ll heal.”
“I know.”
He knows? He
knows I was paralyzed before, or he agrees I am a little banged up? Now I’m
confused.
“After I hit
you I came to the hospital and they told me about your condition …that er…you were
also paralyzed…but from before, not from the accident. Phew,... I feel so bad I
got out of this without even a scratch.”
“What you’re
saying is that having an accident with a cripple makes things worse? You would
have felt better if I weren’t, or less guilty if I had been whole? Logically it
should be the opposite. As I was already damaged, a little bit more would be a
lesser evil.”
‘No… no! That’s
not what I meant.”
I am thinking
to myself: Yes, it is exactly what he implied, but how can I change people’s
mind with their preconceived ideas of disability? We are not considered as
human beings in their own rights. But this poor guy feels bad and guilty enough
not needing a lecture from me. He came to apologize and I should just appreciate
the gesture.
“I’m sorry. I
didn’t mean to be so harsh. None of this is your fault. It was bad luck due to
a lousy weather. I just happened to be in the way. Wrong time, wrong place.”
“You know I
tried everything to warn you I lost control of my vehicle. I slammed on my
brakes but it’s a forty ton truck. It got out of hands and I was helpless. All
I could do was flash my lights and honk.”
“And that, you
did. You blinded me and pierced my eardrums.”
He looks at me completely
baffled. I can be a real cynical jerk sometimes.
“I am just
kidding. You warned me alright, but I was myself stuck in the middle of the
intersection on a patch of black ice. I was as helpless as you. Anyway, thank
you for coming by to check up on me. I am released tomorrow so I am good. We’re
good.”
I extend my
unharmed hand. He comes closer to the bed and shakes it. It is a strong shake
and feel touching me gives him comfort. He leaves relieved with a better
conscience.
****
I am all set
and eager to leave. Cassie spent the last night at the hospital with me, supposedly
on a rollaway bed added in the room, but pretty much curled up in my arms. As
promised we say goodbye to Lisa wishing her a Happy Birthday and all the best,
then we go home with a taxi. I denied the ambulance. It is Friday, already a
week since the accident, and I am glad Cassie is with me for the next two days.
I am not completely independent and I need help for transfers to the shower and
in and out of bed. My ribs are still painful and my cast is making me clumsy. A
few chores such as catheterizing and washing are delicate and I am limited with
one hand. I can’t put my arm under water, so Cassie does these tasks for me.
Being catheterized by my girlfriend is not fun but washed is. It mostly ends up
in a sexy game. We spend the week-end hanging around, mostly in bed, watching
TV and cuddling. I am not fit for anything cheekier yet. Being hit by a truck takes
on its full meaning in my case. The only good thing out of this is I didn’t
have spasms for the past few days and it feels really great. However, I know it
is due to the relaxant drugs I was given at the hospital and it will be back soon
enough. For now I take full advantage of the break idly in Cassie’s company.
Our quiet
Sunday is interrupted by an invasion of cheerful and noisy guys.
“Whoa Matt! You
didn’t tell us it was that bad.”
They all gaze
at me with troubled faces.
“Come on, it isn’t that bad. Look at you; you all have bruises everywhere. That’s a
nice shiner you got here Rob by the way. And Greg, with a busted lip like that,
no kissing for a while!”
We laugh, but I
can see they are concerned about me.
“Well, stop
messing around Captain. We need our mascot on the bench. Oops! Sorry Garrett.”
That’s their
new captain but I guess for them, it’s still me. They get along well though and
I am glad he’s my substitute. I knew him from before, because we played against
each other, and I could appreciate his skills as a player. He also respects my
ability to motivate and the influence I still have on the team. That’s the
reason why he is part of the gang tonight. For the sake of a solid team,
adaptation and integration are keys to success.
“No offense
taken.”
Garrett is quite
cool, because I am not sure I will react so well to such a careless blunder. Obviously
he is used to it. If I wasn’t sure of my friends’ integrity, I could think it’s
provocation.
“I just want to
remind you guys that I am out and on the sidelines for good.”
I hate spoiling
the mood but they always sound like I’m coming back. Calling me ‘Captain’ makes
me mostly uncomfortable now.
“Ok, cheer up
and let’s have a drink. We’ll order pizza later on.”
I feel bad
again for Cassie because all we talk about is hockey; the previous games, the
next ones, the other teams, the coach who is retiring in a few months, and the
mystery on his substitute. We even replay the last game to understand what went
wrong and why. We use cans, glasses and bottles to recreate a hockey rink. Cassie
brings some paper sheets, notebooks and pens and I draw diagrams on the table. For
over an hour we discuss, chat, shout, get excited, angry, you name it. My
living room became a locker-room during half-time, with six stimulated and
pumped up guys who share the same passion. Cassie sits on the armrest of the
sofa next to me, listening patiently to our weird language.
To avoid too
many painful transfers I stayed in my chair, and I can move around to help
Cassie clean the mess after my buddies’ departure.
We had a good
time but such excitement and activity wore me out. The spasms come back as predicted
and I have a hard time, unwillingly bringing Cassie along in my sleepless
night. The next morning we are both exhausted and she wants to stay with me one
more day. As she already missed a few days work because of me, I don’t want her
to lose her job.
“No, you go. I’ll
be fine. I’ll try to catch up some sleep and maybe we can go out tonight.”
“You’re sure? What
about the shower and catheterization?”
“I’ll wait
until you come back for the shower and I’ll manage for the rest.”
As she is
looking at me not so convinced, I insist with a determined voice, “Go! Really.
I’ve been much worse and I can take care of myself.”
She kisses me,
“Do you need anything before I leave?”
“Yep. A cup of
coffee, an empty bottle and my medical supplies’ bag.”
She knows I am
going to stay in bed for a while with that list.
After she left
I catheterize in bed and I doze off in and out. The spasms are so bad I have to
take a Baclofen which I hate so much. When the convulsions subside I fall back
in a deep sleep, until I dream of my dad’s face leaned over me. I am startled because
it is not a dream. My father is really in the room, a hand shaking my shoulder
softly, “Matt...Matt! What’s going on?”
He looks scared,
so it must be bad.
“Dad? What are
you doing here?”
I am
disoriented and still under the influence of the drug.
“Mom told me
you have a cold, Abby told me it’s the flu, you don’t call for days because of
a supposed lost phone, so we were kind of worried. I decided to drop by to see
for myself. What really happened to you Matt?”
I am still
lying down trying to come out of my lethargy, “I had a little accident but I am
fine now.”
“Fine? What’s
this? He is pointing at my forehead and my injured hand.
“Nothing
serious.”
I try to sit up
and groan. The sheets uncover my chest and let the strapping show.
“And that?”
“Bruised ribs.”
Oh Matt, come
on. Don’t lie to me any longer.”
My father is
really angry with me now. I am going to be chewed out. If he is not the
lecturing type, he deserves some honesty and explanations.
I sigh, “Ok.
Two are fractured and one cracked. I had a car accident ten days ago, but
everything is under control.”
“Ten days? I
knew something was wrong. Since the accident you never left us without news for
so long. You didn’t lose your phone, did you?”
I sigh again looking
away shamefully, “No.”
“How could you
not tell us Matt?”
“Like you
needed that! You had enough trouble with me for some time. Anyway, there is
nothing more you could have done.”
“How about
helping? Being with you? Not letting you down?”
“Dad, you never
let me down, and Cassie was with me the whole time.”
“Where is she
now?”
He sounds
reproachful. I can’t let him think badly of her, “I literally forced her to go back
to work today. She took too many days off.”
“Well, I am
staying here until she comes back.”
“No you’re not.
You go to work too. I really appreciate your concern, but I can handle this by
myself.”
He doesn’t
answer but his silence speaks volume. I hurt him and I feel bad. Why am I so
tactless sometimes? He looks at my nightstand cluttered by my medical stuff,
“Need to go to the bathroom, Son?”
“I could use a
shower.”
“Ok, let me
help you.”
My body is all
limp again. I wince and groan in pain while I transfer in my wheelchair. My dad
has to do all the work. Why on earth am I feeling worse than yesterday?
“Matt, you
should be in the hospital.”
“No way. I was
there a whole week and glad to be out. Just help me to get in the shower and
I’ll be fine.”
“You are a real
stubborn man if you want my opinion. I wonder where you got this from?”
“You Dad.”
I manage to crack
a smile and he smiles back.
He helps me
transfer on the shower bench, wraps my cast in the plastic bag supplied by the
hospital, and delicately removes the bandage from around my chest. I can take a
deep breath without too much pain. For the first time I have a good look at my
bare chest in the mirror, and it’s not the best thing to comfort my father. All
my right side is black and blue and impossible to hide. Thank God he didn’t
hear about my fight with Cassie’s ex on top of that. He frowns and cringes at
the discovery of my more damaged body, but he doesn’t comment. He knows this
subject is closed. I am thinking that ironically a few weeks back, it was the
state of my other side.
“Are you hungry
Son?”
“A little.”
In fact I am
starving. It’s already afternoon, I slept for five hours since Cassie left. The
coffee and the two toasts she brought me in bed have long been digested.
“Ok let’s see
what I can find in your fridge and wait for me here. Don’t do anything foolish.
You don’t need any more bruises.”
“Ok Dad.”
The hot water
feels good on my skin. I let it run on my shoulders, along my back and my
bruised chest, and I lean back closing my eyes. I stay like this until my
father returns. I don’t know how long it was because I’ve lost track of time.
“Ok let’s get
you out of here now. Lunch is ready and hot.”
He dries me
off, being super cautious on my side, “Matt, I am not sure how to put this
bandage back. I’m afraid to hurt you.”
“Don’t bother.
Cassie will do it tonight. The nurses showed her how. In any case, it was too
tight and I feel better without it.”
Then he helps
me dress and wheels me to the kitchen. I let him do everything without
protesting. I am still a bit lethargic, and I know he feels good helping me.
“Wow! That’s a
real meal you prepared here. You are fast.”
I am truly
amazed and he looks proud of himself.
“Everything was
ready to cook; a bag of frozen stir-fry vegetables and a steak to grill one
minute on each side. You still like your meat rare, don’t you?”
“Yes Dad.”
Moved, I smile
at him. He is the best dad ever. He even made a salad and when I point at it
questioningly, he keeps on, “No need to be a Chef to open a ready-to-eat bag
with croutons and dressing to add.”
He winks at me and I grin wishing to clear one
point, “Well, we have to thank Cassie for this. She is the one who takes care
of groceries.”
We eat together
and I am glad he came. We talk about our mutual trips, his work, and hockey of
course. I tell him about the visit of my friends, the tactics we discussed, and
the series of guidelines we put together.
“You were a
good captain Matt, and you would do a great coach.”
“Well, it’s a
bit too late for that now.”
I put my plate
and glass on my lap and clumsily head to the dish washer. I don’t want to
pursue this conversation anymore. My dad got the message and changes the
subject, “We are waiting for you both next week, if you can make it.”
“Dad, my car is
at the body shop for a while, and I don’t think Cassie’s can be fixed.”
“I’ll come pick
you up or Abby will.”
“What about
this? What am I going to tell Mom?” I am raising my hand’s cast.
“Hmm…I was
going to tell her what happened.”
“Oh no, please
don’t do that Dad. It’s not a good idea at all. She’ll freak out and be upset
because I lied.”
“Ok. Maybe
you’re right. I’ll just tell her you sprained your wrist doing some work out,
but you know how she is; she will still make a fuss about it.”
“Better a fuss
than she barges in here devastated.”
Believe me, if
you really knew my mother you will see I don’t exaggerate.
“You sure you
don’t want me to stay?”
“Yes Dad. I am
clean and fed, so you can leave with a peaceful mind. Thank you. I am glad you
came and I am sorry for not telling you. I feel really bad for lying to you.”
He pats me on
the shoulder silently and leaves.
Thanks for the update. It's nice to see him have some time with his dad :-)
ReplyDeleteI just love Matt and I would be jealous if I was Cassie too. I hope one day they get married!
ReplyDeleteI love this story! Great writing, as usual, and great perspectives from your characters.
ReplyDelete