Recap of Chapter 5
After a shared lunch and a whole afternoon spent
together at the rehab center, the relationship deepens a little bit more with
Cassie’s confidences about her past. As Matt struggles with physical issues, he
experiences others, not so unpleasant and appreciates Cassie more and more. At
the same time, he is left a bit perplexed by her strange statement about his
condition.
I’m on the
floor, laid on my back, my left knee bent in Abby’s hand. It is 6 p.m. and
she is here to help me with my range of motion.
“Abby, if you
weren’t my sister, would you find me attractive in my wheelchair?”
She stops
working on my joints and looks at me in abashment,
“Why are you
asking me such a weird question?”
“I am wondering
if I can still attract women who can visualize past my paraplegia and see me
for what I really am.”
It takes her a
few seconds of thinking before responding,
“Matt, I’m your
sister so I don’t think I’m objective enough to answer on someone’s behalf.
What I can tell you is I always thought you were very handsome, so for me the
fact you can’t walk hasn’t changed the way I see you. A woman will definitely
notice your wheelchair first, but after knowing you, she should fall in love with
you for the person you are, regardless. Being paralyzed doesn’t make you a
lesser man.”
“Yeah…thanks
for mentioning that, but that’s not exactly what I meant. Don’t you think some
women can be attracted to me because
I’m disabled?”
“What? It would
be so sick.”
“That’s my
point.”
On second
thoughts, she goes on, “But it may not be that terrible after all. I mean in
some cases. Look at me for example, I like to take care of sick and wounded
people. It’s rewarding to know we can help, soothe the pain, and make oneself
indispensable in some way. Most of the nurses I know also do it out of
compassion. Feeling sympathy and sorrow for people’s suffering is not a bad
thing.”
“I don’t want
that.”
“I know. You
have been more than clear on that point since the accident. I try not to forget
it and not to be too caring, but you can’t ask me to leave you alone when I
watch you fight cramps or cringe in pain.”
“I’m sorry Abs
if sometimes I hurt your feelings. I know I can be difficult and harsh, in
another word a pain in the neck, but I hate pity. I know you only think of my
well-being and I understand it is hard for you to see me suffer as a paraplegic.
I don’t want you to worry so much for me. I’m good now. I moved on with my
life, my pain is not constant and really not that bad, and I chose not to take painkillers on a regular basis.”
“Duly noted Big
Brother and apologies accepted.”
She resumes her
therapist work. Now she is flexing my bare foot from left to right and up and
down.
“You know Matt,
thinking about what you asked me, it wouldn’t be so insane if a woman was
attracted to you in your wheelchair.
I have this nurse friend who is attracted to leg braces and crutches and she
totally looks sane. She is even very nice and interesting. I think it’s just a
fantasy. Maybe not common, but not harmful either; so why not a wheelchair? Anyway,
you’re still sexy regardless!”
I am trying to
consider this strange idea and stay open-minded. I don’t want pity, I don’t
want any assistance, I don’t like curious or embarrassed stares, but I’m
paralyzed in a chair, and I can’t hide it. It is human nature to see what’s
out of the ordinary. So why the idea of attracting people with a disability is so
upsetting? Why not take advantage of it? My thoughts are interrupted by a knock
on the door. Abby jumps on her feet,
“I’ll get it.”
“Yeah, you will
obviously be faster.”
My natural
sense of humor sounds more like an ironic sarcasm. The previous conversation
seems to have a gloomy effect on me. Abby opens the door and Cassie appears. She
looks at her, then at me on my floor mat, and she shows astonishment to see a
woman in my apartment. I can note a hint of disappointment as well.
“Oh, I’m
sorry…I didn’t know you had company.”
“No, no please
come in.”
I turn on my
side to face her, “Cassie, let me introduce you to my sister Abby.”
While she looks
relieved, it’s Abs’ turn to give her a probing glance,
“And you are…?”
“Cassandra, the
opposite neighbor.”
A suspicious Abby
is blocking the entrance and Cassie is hesitant to enter.
“Please Abs,
let her in.”
“You’re early tonight.”
“You’re early tonight.”
“Yes. I bought some
groceries and I wanted to cook you dinner. Remember I owe you one, but if your
sister is here we can postpone. I leave you together.”
“No please,
dinner sounds good and I’m starving. Anyway we are done.”
Abby protests with her professional and bossy tone,
“No, you’re not finished Mister.”
I see a
lopsided smile appear on Cassie’s sensual mouth,
“Please finish what you were doing. I’ll start
with the meal and of course your sister is welcome. My place or yours?”
“Mine if you
don’t mind.”
Abby is
following the exchange with open curiosity.
“Ok. I’ll get
what I need from my fridge and come back.”
I’m still leaning
on my side when she leaves, and Abby pushes me back on the mat shoving me a bit hard.
“Hey! What was
that for?”
“For not
telling me you met someone.”
“Don’t start.
She is just my neighbor Abby.”
“Yeah, right. My place or yours? A neighbor who cooks
you dinner, and owes you one? Who are you kidding?”
“We met a couple of weeks ago and we are just friends. She doesn’t know anyone here and I keep her
company. She comes with me to the center sometimes, and we went out for lunch
only once. We usually meet here or at her place to eat and talk after she comes
back from work.”
“Well, that’s a
good start.”
She smiles broadly
and we finished our session.
While I am
taking a shower and taking care of my routine, the two girls take hold of my
kitchen. They cook together, chatting amicably the whole time. I am glad they are
getting along and I hear them talk mostly about their respective work. I am on
the phone with Ted when they call me. We haven't talked in a while and if we have some catching up to do, none of us mention Melissa.
“It’s ready
Matt! We are waiting for you.”
“Coming girls!
”
I end up my phone conversation promising Ted an upcoming get-together. I open a bottle of white wine for the ladies and help me with a glass of whisky. Having been a professional athlete for over a decade, I am not much of a drinker, but tonight I 'm in for a drink. The meal is delicious and elaborate and we eat in a relaxed atmosphere. The wine probably helps a little bit. It is strange for me to spend a night with just two women. Usually it was just Melissa and me or many hockey friends, sometimes with their wives and girlfriends. Nevertheless, it is a very pleasant company and we have a nice evening. It could have been flawless if Abby hadn’t proposed to drink coffee on the balcony. Cassie becomes suddenly white and I say casually, “Not a good idea. Cassie is not a fan of heights.”
I end up my phone conversation promising Ted an upcoming get-together. I open a bottle of white wine for the ladies and help me with a glass of whisky. Having been a professional athlete for over a decade, I am not much of a drinker, but tonight I 'm in for a drink. The meal is delicious and elaborate and we eat in a relaxed atmosphere. The wine probably helps a little bit. It is strange for me to spend a night with just two women. Usually it was just Melissa and me or many hockey friends, sometimes with their wives and girlfriends. Nevertheless, it is a very pleasant company and we have a nice evening. It could have been flawless if Abby hadn’t proposed to drink coffee on the balcony. Cassie becomes suddenly white and I say casually, “Not a good idea. Cassie is not a fan of heights.”
She looks at me
as if I have saved her from an imminent danger. Abby senses a hint of the
uneasiness in the air,
“Oh, ok. We’ll
have it in the living room then. Anyway, it is so cold to hang out outside .”
I transfer to
the sofa and put the TV on. Abby sits beside me on one side and Cassie on the
other. She is closer than usual and I can see her thigh touch mine. I
wish I could sense it as well. It gives me a feeling of confidence though. Discreetly
I take her hand and keep it hidden between us. She squeezes mine without a word.
Abby starts to doze off after ten minutes, which is not a surprise after three
glasses of wine. I should have known better. It is now out of the question to
let her drive home. I nudge her gently,
“Abs you’re
tired and you’re drunk. You sleep in the guest bedroom tonight and that’s not
an option.” She doesn’t protest, “Ok. I think I’m going to go now. This wine really knocked me out. Goodnight
everyone.”
She hugs
Cassandra and pecks me on the cheek. Then she notices our entwined hands and gives
me a mischievous wink. She pulls herself out of the cozy couch, and as she feels dizzy I wheel to the room at her side. She
borrows a t-shirt from me, makes a quick stop to the bathroom and is in bed in
no time. I tuck her in and kiss her like a child. Half asleep, she whispers,
“I liked
Melissa but you don’t lose out. Cassandra is really nice and she is all over
you…with your wheelchair and without pity.”
She doesn’t
even see me frown in surprise because her eyes are already closed.
When I return to
the living room, Cassie is clearing out the coffee table.
“You don’t need
to do this, sit.”
“It was my
invitation, so at least let me leave you with a clean place. Your sister is
very nice by the way. I like her.”
“She said the
same about you.” I have a lopsided grin on my face.
“What’s this
boyish smile for, Matthew Vincent?”
It’s just she
saw our hands and she thinks we’re dating.”
“Oops! And is it
bad?”
“Nope, not at
all. Maybe we could make it more official Cassandra Miller?”
“Let’s talk
about it tomorrow when I’m sober. You don’t want to take advantage of my
drunkenness, do you?”
Her sexy lips are
smiling at me, and all I want is pull her onto my lap and take her to bed with me.
Instead, I just do a chaster move and kiss her intensely. She responds the same
way and leaves quickly without another word.
****
A few weeks go by without any other intimate encounters. It is end of November and she
flies back to Miami for four days to spend Thanksgiving with her family. I go
to mine and take a few days off from the rehab center to help my parents at the
company. With the holiday season approaching they are overwhelmed with
Christmas orders and I offer my contribution. The last time I was at the
warehouse was in my student years. Since I have been with the NHL, I was too busy and
out of state most of the time to pay them a visit at work and I felt bad. I am
now redeeming myself much to their delight. I am surprised how big they have
expanded from the number of employees. One of the newcomers gives me a tour and trains
me briefly about the functioning of the company starting from the orders
processing to the shipping department. She is a friendly and dynamic young girl,
but I can feel she is disturbed by the wheelchair. She is keeping her distance,
afraid she can bang into my wheels or worse, my legs. Ironically she avoids looking down, talking without even looking at me. For once she is the most nervous one and I kind of feel bad for her. I
also meet a few loyal employees who have been with the company from the
beginning. They seem pleased to see me, they hug me, shake my hand and ask how
I am doing. They knew me as a hockey player, so I know they feel sorry for me and my dramatic career ending,
but they try their best not to show it, and I am grateful they don’t expand on
the subject. Unfortunately the shipping department is four steps up and if I am
able to manage a few steps down I can’t do them up. Everyone is a little bit nervous
and don’t know how to react, “Well, it’s not a big deal if I don’t see this
section. I’m just here for a few days anyway.”
I turn around
quickly to smooth out the discomfort, but I bump into my father.
“Yes, it is a
big deal. I want to show you this side of the building. It’s an extension you
haven’t seen yet.”
My dad is
really happy to see me here, and is eager to share his new achievements with me, but he
is a bit angry at himself.
“I’m sorry Matt
I didn’t think of those stairs. Next time you come, there will be a ramp.”
“Don’t sweat it
Dad and don’t apologize, it’s ok.”
“It’s not only
for you, it’s the law. What if I want to hire someone who can’t do stairs? I’ve
been negligent and I should have known better. You could sue me for this!”
I smile because
I find it positive he forgot I am disabled, but I can see he is upset by the
incident even if he tries to be witty. He did so much for me since the accident
I can’t let him feel bad,
“You know what? If you help me up the stairs with someone,
I can climb them down on my own.”
No sooner said
than done. My father nods at an employee silently and they both lift me and my chair
in no time. Proudly he shows me around with a detailed explanation of each
station’s task. Then it is the inventory’s turn. I have to familiarize
myself with the products.
“You’re sure
you can make it without help?”
I am already
balanced on my back wheels when I see my father’s anxious look.
“Yes Dad. I do
this every day and I even teach it. Don’t worry, I’m on top of it.”
I’m a little
bit irritated but try not to show it. This wheelchair is my legs. If I am not
able to do four stairs down on my own, I’m really worthless. Even so, my little
stunt is followed by half a dozen pair of anxious eyes. I can sense people impressed
and scared behind my back.
I work for a
whole week and I call Cassie every day. I miss her and she seems to miss me too
because our phone conversations can last for hours. One evening I am having
dinner with my family when my cell vibrates. I leave the table apologizing and wheel to the living
room. Abby tells me out loud in a mischievous tone, “Say hi for me!”
I see my
parents give her an intrigued look.
****
I have to go
back to my consultant job at the rehab center, and it is a bit hard for my
parents to see me leave again. They thank me a dozen times for my help which I
offered with pleasure. I can say I enjoyed working with them and learning a
bit more about the beneficial and natural properties of the goods sold by: Nature and Natural. I promise them I’ll
come back for Christmas and stay for a few days. My dad has to drive me back to
my place again, so that’s when I decide I really need a car of my own. Anyway I am spending too
much money on taxis to go to the center and come back. It is another reason for
me to be motorized again. I am a bit nervous about it, but it can only make my
life and others' easier.
As the elevator
stops on my floor, I hear voices arguing in the hallway. It is close to my unit
and I listen more carefully. One is a male’s voice and the other one is Cassie’s.
I push harder on my rims. Her apartment door is wide open and a man with a huge
bunch of flowers in hand has his back against it, preventing her from closing
it on him.
“Cassie,
please. I just want to talk to you. I am not going to hurt you I swear.”
“Go away. I
don’t want to talk to you; you have no right to be here. I told you to leave me
alone. Have you forgotten about the restraining order?”
“No, but I apologized
and I miss you, please…”
He makes a step
forward. She steps backwards with the palm of her hand extended in a defensive
gesture.
“Don’t come
near me.” Her voice is full of fear.
“What’s going
on here? Cassie, are you ok?”
I am at the door and I swiftly place my
wheelchair between her and him, the ex-abusive boyfriend without a doubt.
“Oh! Matt, I
heard a knock on the door, and I thought it was you since you told me you were
on your way home. I don’t know how he found me and how he came up.”
I am about to talk but the unfriendly man's voice stops me in my tracks.
“Well it wasn’t
easy but I remembered you had a wealthy uncle in Chicago, so I looked at all
the speech therapists in the city. It took me a while but it was worth trying.
You should remember I’m a resourceful man. To pass security was a piece of
cake. Your guard likes tips, it’s as simple as that.”
He is shameless,
sassy and full of himself. I already hate him and am dying to show him up to what
point. I am relieved it isn’t René’s
shift, because this unscrupulous guy in the lobby can look for a new job starting
today. I’ll see to it.
“Will you please
stop blocking this door and leave right now as Cassie asked you to?”
“Cassie, Matt? Wow!
You seem intimate.”
He is still wry
but a little bit less confident.
“I’m her
neighbor.”
“Well neighbor, it’s none of your business. I
appreciate your concern about my girlfriend safety, but I am not a threat and I have personal things to
discuss with her.”
“What? Are you
crazy? I’m not your girlfriend, I haven’t been for a long time and I will never
ever be. Matt is my boyfriend.”
She puts a
possessive hand on my shoulder. She is angry, scared and on the verge of
crying. I place a reassuring hand on hers.
“Him? This
cripple is your boyfriend? You must be kidding, Come on and get back to your
senses.”
His mocking
chuckle makes me suddenly wheel forward. My knees are now touching his legs and
it is intentional even if I can’t feel it.
“Back off from
this door, NOW!”
I am losing
patience and my fists are itching.
“Or what?
You’re going to kick my ass?”
Is he really
scoffing at me or am I being touchy?
“That, I can’t
do but how about punching you in the face?”
Without leaving
him any other option, I put my theory into action. As I am not in the best
position to give him a direct blow, he gets an uppercut to the chin, strong enough
to nearly throw me out of my chair. It completely knocks him down on the floor
across the hallway, while I heavily sink back into my seat . It could have been
laughable to see him holding his bruised jaw surrounded by a bunch of spread
flowers, but I am so pissed off I want to finish him off. I think he learned
his lesson because while he is recovering for the punch, he looks at me afraid
and impressed, "Oh, man! What are you? A boxer?”
“No, a hockey
player and you’re lucky I don’t have my stick with me. Now, leave before I go
and get it.”
“Ok, ok, but
you don’t know what you got yourself into.”
“Are you
threatening me now?”
“No! I mean
with her. You better keep a close eye on her or you’ll be sorry, she’ll cheat
on you.”
“Are you done
or you want another round?”
“No, I’m
leaving. I wanted her back but I changed my mind, she’s all yours. Good luck!”
He stands back
up with difficulty still stunned by the blow and leaves without turning back.
Cassie is still standing by the door speechless and shaking. I roll back inside crushing a few flowers under my wheels, close the door, pull her down on my lap and hold her in my arms. She hugs me
tightly.
“I think you
will never see him again. I told you I’d protect you but next time, never open
your door to a stranger, even if he brings you flowers.”
I am trying to
lighten the mood but she is still too upset to relax. With her hands clutched
around my waist, I wheel us to the kitchen, “Whisky?”
She finally smiles briefly at me.
“No, a glass of water is fine.”
With her still
on my lap I roll to the fridge, and when I put my hand on the door handle, she
abruptly takes it in hers, “Matt! You’re hurt.”
It’s not that
bad but the knuckles of my right hand are all bruised and red. I didn’t even notice but since she mentions it, it starts to sting. She stands up, put some ice
cubes in a Ziploc bag and applies it gently on my swollen hand.
“Matt I’m sorry
you had to witness that and put up a fight because of me. I’m not a respectable
person.”
“You are to me.
And I missed the action of the games, so I would be lying to say I didn’t enjoy
this a little bit.”
“Are you
telling me hockey players like to punch each other during a game?”
She seems a
little shocked.
“No, I didn’t
say that. It’s a sport and in the course of action we can be brought to give a
few blows and receive some, and clashes between players are frequent. It’s part
of the game.”
“And that’s how
you were so badly hurt and wound up paralyzed.”
Since she regained her speech, she is furious and it seems to be aimed at me.
“That was an
unintentional and stupid accident. It’s just bad luck.”
“And you’re ok
with that? You don’t find your fate revolting? Unfair? You don’t hate the guy
who did this to you? Who ruined your career, your life?”
She speaks loud
with an angry tone. I am a bit surprised because I have never seen her like
this, outraged and rebellious, but I remain calm,
“No, not
anymore. Of course a lot of bad thoughts came to my mind when I woke up in the
hospital and I was told I would never walk again, but did I have a choice? Do
you think being heinous, angry and revengeful would make me feel better,
give me my legs back? No. So I sucked it up, tried to make the best of it and
moved on with my life. And if this accident hadn’t occurred I will probably
still be with Melissa and not here with you. So what can you say to that?”
It takes her a
long time to answer but she tells me in an apologetic voice, “I’m sorry Matt. I
didn’t have the right to talk to you like that. I am not in your place to know
what you felt or feel. It’s your life and after such a hardship you turned it
right. You are brave, fearless and determined. I can only admire you and be
proud of you.”
“Whoa! Am I
really all that to you? Well, thanks for the compliments.”
I am flattered
and a little bit flustered. It is more than I could hope for, but I didn’t ask
for it.
On second
thoughts she adds, “And I should thank Melissa for letting you go. You are free
and…I’d like to spend the night with you.”
Well, I didn’t
see this one coming at all. If I had been standing, I would now be on my ass. “Are
you sure?”
“I’ve never
been so sure.”
“Ok. I’d like
that but I have to warn you, it’s going to be my first time since the accident
and I’m not functioning the way it’s supposed to. I hope you’ll be lenient and
patient, because I really don’t know what’s to be expected.”
“We are not in
a rush and we’ll take all the time we need to make it right. You don’t have to
feel uncomfortable, because it’s going to be my first time too…I mean with a
paraplegic.”
“So I figured.”
I am smiling but nervous as hell inside. I am not the bashful type with women
and before being seriously involved with Melissa, I flirted around in my
student years. My self-confidence and my laid-back personality are not really
helping right now. I am almost thirty but feel like a virgin teenage boy, as if
it is going to be my very first sexual experience. I’m certain it’s not easy
for paraplegics to have intimate relationships with an able-bodied partner, but I
know some of them can find willing women to give them pleasure regardless of reciprocity,
but that is not what I want. I wish to please my partner especially if her name
is Cassandra. I want her to be part of my new life and I hope I can meet her
expectations. As the doctors told me I am lucky enough to have a low injury with
some feelings in my mid-section. Much more severe SCI can lead to no feeling at
all in the upper chest and arms and in that case being a man who can’t feel his
own pleasure or give a limited one to his partner is very frustrating, even
depressing. I’m thankful I still have a muscled chest, strong arms and part of
my abs. Thanks to them I can move, work, exercise and almost lead a normal
life. Regarding further down, it is wasteland. We, the disabled have all kind
of health issues due to a weakened auto-immune system. We have to deal with
chronic pain, UTI infections and spasticity which can be more incapacitating
than our paralyzed limbs. But when it comes to our manhood it’s the most upsetting
feeling to be sexually impaired. I’m about to know up to what extent my libido
has been affected, and I’m scared like a child.
I know it would
be better to take her to my place, but I’m not comfortable to let her sleep in
my bed with the plastic mattress pad in case of nightly accidents. I never had
those since I left the hospital, but it is still a possibility. I don’t want
her to use my handicapped bathroom with the high toilet seat, the shower
equipped with my special chair and all this surrounded by grab bars in
every corner. Not for our first time. If by any chance it works out between us,
I’ll be more open to her about my personal stuff. She interrupts my tortuous
thoughts timidly, “My place or yours?”
“Yours if you
don’t mind. I have a few things to take care of. Wait for me here I won’t be long.”
I leave her a
bit in a hurry. I don’t want her to think this through and change her mind. I
shower quickly and empty my bladder thoroughly. I take an extra catheter in my
pants’ pockets just in case. Then I wonder for a while if I should take a
Viagra but I decide not to. I don’t want to lie to myself or worse, to her. I
don’t want to be a fake with a chemical erection, not for our first time. I
want her to discover my body with its flaws, and there are other ways to be
aroused for both of us. It is nonetheless a strange situation. It looks like a scheduled
appointment and I would prefer more spontaneity between us, but it is one
moment I dreamt of and it is happening. I should be thrilled instead of racking
my brain.
I knock and enter her apartment . All the lights are off except for the bedside lamp
in the bedroom.
“Can I come
in?” I am at the door waiting shyly for her ok.
“Of course, I
was waiting for you and I’m so glad you didn’t change your mind.”
“Change my
mind? No way. I was afraid you would.”
She is seated
on one side of the bed her back against the headboard. She arranged a bunch of
pillows on the other side, obviously for me and I appreciate the thought. She is
deliciously attractive in just a black tank top and white pajama shorts. It is
a plain cotton outfit but very sexy to me. The cleavage of her top plunges on
beautiful breasts tightly molded by the fabric, and I can see her nipples
pointing out. She is looking at me at the same time, and I am wondering what
she is thinking and seeing: ‘A still good looking guy in black jeans a little
bit too big for his skinny legs in opposition to a grey t-shirt clinging to
his chest and upper arms? A happy but unsecure face framed by black strands of
hair still wet from the shower? Or maybe his light piercing blue eyes betraying
his emotion and admiration towards her? Isn’t all that obscured by a metallic
frame on wheels?
“Come Matt. I
want you close.”
I want to be
close myself, so close you can’t imagine. I wheel to the edge of the bed
and transfer. I see in her eyes again this strange longing I had seen at the
center, when I was crutching laboriously. I grab my leg under the knee to lift
it on the bed, but she stops me from behind,
“Matt, may I?”
It is not a thing I let people do for me, but looking at her nearly pleading
eyes I don’t have the guts to say no,
“If you want.”
She stands up
and comes on the other side of the bed to face me. She lifts my leg gently and extends it flat
on the bed. Then she does the same with the other one. As usual they are shaking a
little bit from the move and she watches with interest. Strangely, not only I am not bothered by the spasms and the curiosity, I find the legs touching and lifting interestingly moving. In a nutshell, even sweet and endearing.
“Do massages
can help?”
“Sometimes, but
not always, not when it’s really bad. The pulling is more efficient but I can’t
do it myself.”
She kneels at
the foot of the bed and with assertiveness she takes the heel of my foot gently
in her hands and pulls on my twitching leg. The spasm stops.
“Like this?”
“Like this?”
I smile at her.
She is a natural. She cares but not in a smothering way.
“Yeah, like that.”
She switches to
the other leg. Then without asking she removes my socks. I left my shoes
at my apartment thinking it will be less of a headache, since it is the most
tiresome chore to put them on and remove them. Then she unbuckles my belt and
unzips my jeans. At that point I become feverishly nervous. Knowing she will
have a hard time to remove the pants, I help her flipping my hip on one side,
then the other, while she pulls on the fabric. Pants gone! I am now in my
briefs with bare legs and feet. She straddles me and pulls my t-shirt up my
chest. I hold my arms up so she can finish the job. Now I am at her mercy and
she seems to like it a lot. But I will not be completely submissive. It is my
turn to undress her and it is easier. The tank top is out in seconds and the bra follows. I notice cheekily I didn't lose my touch at the audacious task. I can now admire the sight of two perfect round and firm breasts nagging at me. They are
not too big, not too small and after holding one gently in my hand, I confirm
they are a perfect match. Now I have them both in my hands, admiring the perfect
shape, caressing, touching with gentleness and feeling the soft skin under my
fingers. Then I pull her closer and I start kissing and leaking them with the tip
of my tongue. She moans in pleasure and it is turning me on so badly I take her lips wildly in mine. She responds with hunger asking for more. Our tongues thrust
in each other’s mouths and entwined. Her lips are tasty and wet and
she is whimpering lowly between kisses. I have to stop to catch my breath. The
weird sensation in my belly came back and intensifies rapidly. I am hot and my
heart is pumping like crazy. I feel aroused so strongly it is painful. I have to
check if my lower body is responding to my state of excitement, but Tabernac! nothing is
happening down there. Cassie understands at the same time and sees my
frustration.
She whispers in my ears totally aroused, “Matt, what can I do?
Where do you feel? Where are your sensitive areas? I want to return the
pleasure you’re giving me.”
“My chest…” She
kisses it sensually. “My neck…” She goes up and does the same. “Just below my
earlobe...” She starts giving me little kisses on that spot which gives me
shivers all over. My cheek, the one with the scar is her next focus and she
insists on it. When she ends up pressing her wet lips on my neck and my
collarbone again, I am in heaven. This area of my body has never been that
sensitive before.
“Oh please, don’t stop it’s so good.”
She apparently
has no intention to do so, and she is enjoying herself as much as I am.
“What
about here?” While she is still kissing me, she stimulates my nipples with her
index finger. I suck in a breath and nods hastily as I am unable to speak. I
feel them harden and erect, and I can hardly breathe. When she carries on with
the tip of her tongue it is torture, but a delicious one. If I am not hard it
feels like it. All the parts in my body I can feel are aroused, all my nerve
endings excited, even my withered legs are showing signs of life. The pain in
my hip and thigh is recurring at a fast speed, but I am too turned on to think
about it. The excitement and the sensuality of the moment are softening the
pain. My breathing is halting, my heart is pounding and I am sweating like hell.
I am having an orgasm without an erection, but with the same exact feeling as
if I am ejaculating, and I gasp loudly. It makes all the muscles in my chest
and mid-abdomen contract instantly.
“Oh… my… God!”
My head falls back on the pillows and I am left worn out and shaky.
I hear an
anxious voice, “Matt, are you ok?”
“Yeah…yes, I am
ok, more than ok. It’s just…it’s been so long…and it was so good…and…”
I stop
suddenly looking at Cassie’s big green eyes on me. She is still straddling my
legs and she is trembling lightly from my own spasms, her breasts pressed
against my chest. I was so into my new discovery and my own pleasure I forgot
all about hers and I feel ashamed. What a selfish bastard I am!
“I’m sorry, I’m
so sorry…I didn’t want it to be that way but I didn’t know what to expect…”
She puts a
finger on my lips, “Hush…there will be other times when you can make it up to
me. You’re a great kisser you know and what you did to my breasts was amazing,
so I can imagine what you can do to the rest of my body.”
I see a cheeky
smile in the corner of her mouth and I instantly feel better. She is so nice, attractive and understanding. I feel at ease with her as if I’ve always known
her. I put my arms around her waist and hug her tightly, as if I am afraid to
let her go. We stay in a silent embrace for a while, then I have to slide down
on the bed a little bit. I am in a crooked position and my back aches. Cassie
moves away from my lap and looks down at me, “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing. Come
here, I don’t want you out of my sight for the entire night.”
I pull her back
to me. She lies down beside me, puts her head on my shoulder, and starts
caressing my face. She finds my scar again and looks at it closely, then she runs
her finger along the bulge which had softened along the years. I don’t think
much about it. It is part of me and on the side of my face, not really
disfiguring me, but the way Cassie is reminding me its existence is a bit
disturbing. I stop her gently wrapping my hand around hers. “I’m not
comfortable with this Cassie.”
“But why?”
“It’s not very
appealing to look at .”
“It is to me. I
don’t want you to hide anything from me.”
She frees her
hand and resumes to lightly brush her fingers on my cheek.
I should have
known better. She seems to like every one of my flaws; First my wheelchair,
then my braces and crutches, my thin spastic legs, and now my scar.
What appears to
be Cassie’s attraction represented Melissa’s repelling standards. I don’t know
if it’s good or bad yet, but since I’m with Cassie I don’t think of Melissa, and I feel a little bit guilty not to feel guilty. The exception for tonight will be the scar which reminds me of my ex-girlfriend, but in a negative way. Cassie seems to read my thoughts, “Melissa never
touched it?”
“Oh, no. She
was avoiding it. She even wanted me to do some laser sessions to make it smoother.
She wanted me to be more careful on the rink. Can you imagine me on the ice
surrounded by nine players dying to score and ask: please guys, be careful with your sticks and your skates. Don’t get too
close to me; I don’t want any bumps, bruises or scars. I was a hockey
player, Tabernac!”
She smiled at
my Canadian curse.
“Well, I’m not
Melissa. I think it gives you a sexy look.”
“Ah! That’s a
first. How can a scar on a cheek be sexy?”
“Ok. Do you
prefer if I say a bad boy look?”
I burst out
laughing, “You’re so sweet. I’m glad someone likes my bad boy sexy look. I’m
all yours baby.”
It is her turn
to giggle. She takes my face between her hands and gives me a long sensual kiss,
and I feel a little tingling in my chest, “You know you killed me tonight. I
have never felt so exhausted since they drugged me in the hospital, but I can
tell you I love this tiredness much better, and could be addicted to it very
easily.”
Unexpectedly
she answers in a smooth voice, “I’m glad because I’m already addicted to you.” Then
she gets off the bed and goes to the bathroom. I close my eyes reveling in her
statement, and I don’t see her come back because I fall in a deep sleep within
seconds.
Great chapter, thank you so much for updating! I like the progression of the story a lot! I look forward to future updates!!
ReplyDeleteWonderful handling of your characters! Terrific story, all around.
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ReplyDeleteThis chapter was fantastic, simply marvelous! You are doing an amazing job writing this story and these characters! I'm excited to follow these two as the chapters continue on!
ReplyDeleteWow! Great chapter!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love this story! Can't wait for the next chapter!
ReplyDeleteFantastic story! I've just read all 6 chapters in one go and I'm looking forward to the next instalment.
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