Recap of Chapter 7
After their first night together, a clumsy incident in the bedroom puts doubts in Matt’s mind about imposing his physical limitations Cassie. He has a moment of depression but Cassie wipes his insecurities away. She admits not only his disability is by no means an issue, but also an attraction to her.
Matt buys a car and surprises Cassie at work, but another technical incident on the parking lot ruins his spirits. He has to put up with a perilous exercise, but Cassie is once again by his side to smooth over his discomfort. Matt can eventually take Cassie out to the nice restaurant he had previously planned.
We drive back to Streeterville to “Les Nomades” one of the best French restaurants in town where it takes weeks to have a table. The road is slippery from black ice so I drive slowly and I’m overly careful. After all I haven’t been behind a steering wheel for fourteen months. While I am still brooding over my dishonorable incident, Cassie seems to be completely oblivious to our ungraceful show. She glances at me with an appreciative stare as if I were a race car pilot. In return I shoot an inquisitive look at her, “To what do I owe this mischievous smile? Are you making fun of my driving?”
“Quite the opposite. I am admiring my chauffeur and I’m proud of him.”
She is so understanding and easy going, I feel like stopping the car to take her in my arms and smother her with kisses. However there is one big drawback with hand controls, I cannot leave my hands off the wheel, so it means not even holding hands.
The restaurant is packed but the atmosphere is intimate with a soft lighting, wooden floors with Persian rugs and spaced apart tables. It could have been a good point for my wheelchair if I hadn’t asked for a table as far as possible from the entrance. Bad choice! When I have to cross the whole room in front of all the clients it creates a significant awkwardness. I am entitled to curious and pitiful looks, intensive stares, and am mortified when one of my wheels bumps into a chair which is in my way. A cry of indignation follows and I curse in silence. I note I have a tendency to swear much more these days. The jolt just made an old woman spilled her glass of wine. When she turns abruptly ready to tell me off, she instantly changes her mind. Lucky me! I have a good excuse. I am a poor cripple in a wheelchair. She gives me a surprised look and she moves her chair forward to make more room. As embarrassed as I am, still polite I apologize,
“I am so sorry. I’ll pay for the dry cleaning. Just send me the bill.”
Ready to give her my name and phone number, I notice a forced smile in the corner of her mouth. She looks more nervous than me,
“Oh! no young man. There is no need for that. I’m fine. It didn’t stain my dress, only the tablecloth. I hope you didn’t hurt yourself though.”
It is my turn to be taken aback. Is she really implying I could have harmed myself? Do I look that fragile? I am more upset, but not for my clumsiness anymore. Why on earth people always have to baby me? As I am not willing to get into a fruitless dialogue, I simply shake my head in a jaded move,
“No, don’t worry. No harm done. I am sorry again. Enjoy your meal.”
As usual Cassie feels my state of mind and her hand on my shoulder softens my discomfort. Fortunately everyone goes back to their dinner, the conversations pick up again, and I can park my wheelchair discreetly under our table. Cassie’s sexy smile makes wonders and I can finally relax. We look at our menus and I see her magical green eyes open wide. I give a snort,
“Yes, I know prices seem a bit outrageous, but trust me it is worth it. It is high-end cuisine with the best organic ingredients you’ll ever eat.”
She is still skeptical and I feel a bit embarrassed again. I know she lives a simple life and on a tight budget, and I don’t want her to think I’m trying to impress her. This is absolutely not my goal, and I suddenly regret my choice thinking what she might think,
“Hey. I don’t come here every day but today is special. I have to celebrate my new independence, but mainly our three month anniversary.”
She raises her eyebrows in surprise and gives me a shy smile, “You remember the exact date?”
“How could I forget the new neighbor who woke me up making all my walls shake? No I’m just kidding. You made my heart shake and that’s what you keep on doing right now looking at me with those innocent beautiful eyes.”
Even though I try to sound witty, I haven’t felt that mellow and sentimental for a long time. Am I becoming over emotional or is it just Cassie’s glamorous appearance which has this special effect on me?
Softly she glides her hand up and down my cheek. It feels very sensual and I cup my hand over hers to keep it there. We look at each other in silence but our stare is meaningful enough to make words superfluous. I want her home with me by my side, in my arms, in my bed. I want to make love to her, entirely for her this time and I am imagining her melt with pleasure and moan from my touching and expert kisses. I have to break the silence to prevent me from carrying out my tantalizing program, “Let’s order, I am starving.”
We don’t talk much but we don’t need to express our deep feelings to one another.
After savoring a great meal I take her hand in mine, “Care for dessert? They have the most amazing sweet menu of the whole city.”
Her nod with eager eyes makes me chuckle. She glances at the menu up and down several times with a contemplative expression.
”I told you. Do you need help from an expert?”
She gives me one of her innocent but enchanting smile, and lets me choose for her, but I don’t take any for myself.
“You are not going to let me eat on my own, are you?”
“I’ll take a bite with you but I’m off sugar. I ate too much already and I have to keep in shape.”
“Come on Matt, you’re perfect the way you are.”
“Maybe now but you don’t know what a few extra pounds can do to a body which is permanently seated.”
I say the last sentence with a hint of bitterness, and I see her smile disappears. I add,
“But you are my dessert. Let’s get out of here soon so I can taste you.”
“Wow! What an attractive proposition, better than the entire dessert menu.”
While she finishes her chocolate soufflé, I take care of the check. It’s really cold outside and I’m eager to be home. I am glad we are close. If it wasn’t winter we even could have walked the few blocks. I park in my assigned spot for the first time hoping no one will get too close to me. I don’t want to repeat the ‘standing between two cars’ perilous exercise. As soon as René sees my wheelchair pass the automatic doors he presses the elevator button for us.
“Bonsoir Monsieur Matthew, vous avez passé une bonne soirée?”
“En si bonne compagnie, il ne peut en être autrement René !” I wink at him and he gives me the thumbs up.
Waiting for the elevator Cassie looks at me with a frown, “What was the wink for?”
“He just asked me if I had a nice evening, and I told him it couldn’t be otherwise with such great company.”
I pull her down on my lap and we enter the elevator. The ride is very fast to the top floor, and suddenly Cassie presses the stop button with a pretended innocent face, “I have been longing to do this since you came to pick me up at work.”
Without further preamble she puts her arms behind my neck and gives me such a long kiss I feel like I am free diving. But when she stops I’m thinking I could hold my breath much longer. She is side seated and leaned backwards on the crook of my arm to look at my reaction. For once I’m the one looking down at her. I have a mischievous grin,
“You really taste like an appetizing dessert, and if you don’t want to be eaten up in an elevator you better press the start button back.”
She giggles and does as I say. I take her directly to my place regardless her opinion.
“Matt, I want to change first and I need a shower.”
“You don’t need anything. You can wear one of my t-shirts and we will shower together.”
What am I thinking? Taking a shower with her while I became so reserved regarding my intimidate hygiene, since I have to wash seated?
“Ok.” She doesn’t argue and she seems more than happy with my uncommon and daring proposition. I remove my gloves and coat, throw them on the couch and head straight to the bathroom. I haven’t catheterized for five hours, and I can feel a weight in my lower abdomen, meaning I have to hurry to prevent a humiliating accident.
“Let me take care of personal stuff first and help yourself in my chest of drawers for anything that might suit you. I’ll be quick.”
I’m out fifteen minutes later in just my underwear, a little embarrassed to show my pale and skinny legs once again. But not only had she already seen me naked, she even undressed me, so it shouldn’t bother me. It sure doesn’t disturb her in any way from the look of desire I can decipher on her pretty face. She already got my side ready with the covers thrown off and pillows gathered against the headboard for my back. I can’t wait to feel her naked body against mine. For now it’s hidden underneath one my Black Hawks t-shirts, and I am moved and amused at the same time. It is way too big for her. The supposedly short sleeves cover her elbows and the length falls down to her knees, but right now it looks like the sexiest underwear I want to see her in. I transfer swiftly beside her and when I am all settled, I open my arms to welcome her in a tight embrace. She cuddles up and her long silky hair falls like a cascade all over my chest. It tickles especially the ones that are brushing my nipples. I’m really over sensitive in here and tonight I don’t want to be aroused. I have to focus only on her pleasure, I want to make her moan in ecstasy and ask me for mercy. She starts caressing my hairless chest and her little kisses send electric shocks in my upper body, but also make my hips and legs shake a little bit. Oh, no! This is not a good time for a spasm attack. Cassie is lying half on my chest and I feel her body tremble too. I shift and straighten up to make the shaking stop. She senses my embarrassment and whispers in my ear, “Relax Matt, it’s ok. You know I even like it. I find it arousing.”
She presses and rubs her pelvis against my penis. If I can’t feel anything in this area it seems to have a certain effect on her and the sight of it excites me. I forget the spasms and kiss her lovingly. She has such a gift to ease my discomfort. I sneak my hand under the t-shirt to find the hot skin of her breast and cover it with a gentle touch. It feels so right, so soft in my hand that I give a blissful sigh. Trying to ignore the strange tingling sensation in the pit of my stomach, I resume my exploration of her perfect chest. I turn on my side and my other hand glides down gently between her thighs. She spreads her legs wider to welcome my hand on her pussy. While my fingers start toying with her clit, my mouth is on her breast sucking her nipple. She removes her top swiftly while moaning in pleasure, and I can feel a strong arousal invading my upper body. My own nipples harden without any stimulation and I suck in a breath. Matt focus, this is her time. She feels my excitement and glides the tip of her fingers over my yet erected nipples. I whisper almost in pain, “Oh! No no no please Cass, stop that. I am trying to make love to you.”
“I want to make love to you too and I want us to come at the same time…Oh! Matt this is so good don’t stop.”
As I have no intention to do so, I keep on stimulating her libido. I am so desperate to make love to her that I do what I intended, I give her oral sex. For a moment it feels weird. A thought of Melissa pops up in my mind. I have never done that to her because she hated it which was ok with me. Most men are not usually fond of the practice, being just a way to please their partner so I never insisted. But right now I am doing my upmost to outdo myself. I’m trying to master my new way of making love and I like it, I like it a lot. Just from Cassie’s moaning and whimpering it’s obviously working. My heart is pounding, the tingling in my abdomen intensifies and I suddenly feel hot. I’m frustrated once more though to notice this whole excitement doesn’t give me a hard on. It doesn’t last long because I am turned on to the highest degree just from the little sounds she softly makes murmuring my name. I hear her pant and moan louder. We are both highly aroused. She takes my head in her hands. I tickle and excite her clit with my tongue one last time and I sigh in pleasure while she screams in ecstasy. I fall flat on my back from exhaustion as if I just ran a marathon. Whoa! This was something. Without erection and penetration I have the feeling I just made love wildly. I am still catching my breath trying to control the recursive spasms, when I look at Cassie’s face to find out she is crying silently.
“Oh no! Cassie what’s the matter? Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you?”
She shakes her head vigorously and slides down a bit to be next to me,
“I am sorry Matt. This is just the opposite. I’m crying because I’ve never felt so good in my whole life. I thought I became frigid because I’ve never had an orgasm with Jeffrey before. He liked rough sex and I didn’t. It was always for him and when he wanted to. He was a good kisser, chivalrous and gentle at the beginning, and I guess I got tricked by his good manners. I made a fool of myself. How can I have been so stupid and naive?”
It brings more tears to her eyes but this time from not so pleasant memories. I whisper caressing and wiping her watering cheeks,
“Hush baby, I’m here now and I will never hurt you. You know this is my first orgasm since the accident and the best I’ve ever had, at least so different from what I’ve experienced before. Thanks to you I feel like a man again. You turn me on so much, but I’m so sorry I couldn’t get hard for you.”
“I don’t mind Matt. I had the best sex ever and you are more than a man to me. I think I fell in love with you the first instant I met you. If I noticed your wheelchair first I was more thrilled to see its user and even if I was scared to make love again you swept my fear away the first time you took me in your arms.”
I wasn’t asking for that much, but my male pride was stirred up and I had lost this feeling for quite a while.
“I think you turned this curse into a blessing because you are the best thing that happened to me since I’m in that chair.”
She stays silent but the love and appreciation I can read in her shiny eyes make me squeeze her in a loving hug. I wish I could entwine my legs around hers the way she does to mine, but all I can do is hold her against my chest in a protective embrace and kiss her temple. She seems happy with that from the sigh of comfort she breathes out in my neck. A few minutes pass with the two of us falling asleep in each other’s arms, when sudden chills and shivers remind me I’m still sweaty from the new sexual experience I just had. I really need a shower and I try to slip out from her arms discreetly not to wake her up. Unfortunately supple moves are not the best skills of paraplegics. I have to sit upright and push on my hands to scoot over to the edge of the bed.
“Where are you going?” With a drowsy voice she tries to hold me back with her hand on my wrist.
“Go back to sleep baby. I’m just taking a quick shower and I’ll be back. I want you here by my side when I wake up.”
“You said we’ll shower together so I’m coming with you.”
She pouts like a little girl and my heart is melting. She looks so beautiful and sexy with her ruffled hair and her sleepy eyes. She is up in seconds. I don’t know if she is aware of being completely naked, but I can’t help admiring her perfect and delicate features. When she realizes my eyes are focused on her body she just flashes a cheeky smile and covers her breasts with her two hands.
“Can I have a ride Mister?”
I transfer quickly. “Hop on Miss.”
I wheel us both across the bedroom and stop by the shower door. I still have my briefs on which unfortunately I didn’t need to remove for our love making. I lift my butt on one side to slip it underneath and do the same with the other side. Not a very common way to get undressed but the only way for me now. Cassie watches the whole exercise without blinking and with interest. Then I switch chair and I am a little nervous to be on this ugly plastic seat in front of her. She is not at all disturbed by the sight of it and joins me in the stall. “Can I sit on your lap or will you be too uncomfortable?”
“With you? Never.”
“But I don’t want to hurt you.”
“That, you can’t do either. I don’t feel a thing and you are so light. The worse that can happen is an offended reaction of my spastic legs.”
Without further hesitation she straddles me and unhooks the shower head. After checking the water temperature she starts washing me. For a short period it brings back unpleasant memories of the hospital. For months I’ve been washed and shampooed by female and male foreign hands over my whole body including my intimate parts. It doesn’t last long. The way Cassandra is doing it is nothing to compare to their medical touch. Her soft and soapy hands first caress my shoulders and chest with gentleness. Then she goes on with my nape, my neck and upper back with sensual strokes. When she reaches the small of my back and finds my surgery scar, her delicate touch sends chills to my spine just above the injury. My heart starts racing again. I close my eyes and I let out a groan. She stops instantly and withdraws, “Matt, does it hurt? Are you in pain?”
“No, no! It feels so good, you can’t imagine. No one has ever touched me there except for medical care. I didn’t know this spot was so sensitive and so responsive to pleasure. Please do it again. Strangely it turns me on.”
I don’t need to ask her twice. She grants my wish with an unconcealed delight. She obviously is a scar person. As she likes the one on my cheek she is going to enjoy the much bigger one on my back, but I can’t complain. It really has a very regenerative effect on me. It seems to soothe my lower back pain and arouses me at the same time. Am I having another orgasm with just a touch on my busted back? When she goes further down I can’t feel her magic hands anymore and I’m frustrated for a second. I whisper with my eyes shut hoping it will help to hold back the pleasant sensation,
“Please, touch me further up where I can feel.”
Her fingers are back on the area where the titanium fusion is fixed in my spine, and I sigh in relief. She brushes and glides both hands up and down from my waist to my lower back, insisting on the sensitive spot, and I’m speechless just reveling in the new discovery. Then she unstraddles me and gets down on her knees to take care of my legs. I become a little nervous, but after all they need to be washed as well. As long as she seems to like doing it I don’t object. It’s the best shower I’ve ever had in my entire life. I could stay seated there under the dripping warm water and those sexy hands all night long. I don’t even cringe when she soaps my manhood and my bony butt, at least what’s accessible of it. I don’t have the energy to lift it anyway. I just watch her in silence with my heart filled with love and gratefulness. I’m still not talking when I transfer back languidly into my wheelchair on the clean towel she just thoughtfully set. She dries me off and crouching down to do my feet, she looks up at me with an annoyed expression on her face,
“The skin on your legs is very dry. Do you have a moisturizing lotion I could use?”
I smile at her concern, “I know. And yes, I have to put a ton of cream, mostly on my legs after each shower or I will have a chipped off lizard skin! It’s from the lack of hydration and a poor blood circulation, but you don’t have to do that, you’ve done enough.”
I try to pull her back on her feet. Seeing her kneeled down at mine makes me really uncomfortable.
“I want to. It’s important for me. Please let me take care of you Matt.”
She has this irresistible pout, like a sulking child. I grin and can’t resist,
“Last drawer on the left, but first let me put some briefs on.”
She is the one grinning now, “If you really want to, but it’s not necessary.”
“Yes it is, even if there is not much to hide.”
I still feel very frustrated for not having the least of an erection after this sexy shower. She is plainly naked in front of me, her wet hair dripping on the bathroom mat, sexy as hell, her beautiful body so tempting I feel like kissing it all over. I want to make love to her again, longing to penetrate her and be on top of her like an able-bodied guy. Instead of all this, I back up my wheelchair, turn around and head to the bedroom. I just realized I let her wash me, shampoo me, pamper me like a baby, and I didn’t even do anything for her. I feel so angry at myself. I put some underwear on and transfer back lazily on the bed. I feel drained. When she comes back with the lotion she has my white terrycloth bathrobe on. I can’t repress another smile. It is also excessively too large for her and she steps on it.
“I took your robe, is it ok?”
“I can see that. Of course it is.”
She hops on the bed a bit too enthusiastically. I have been careless and I am not seated properly. I lose my balance and fall forward, my head on her knees.
“Oh! Matt I’m so sorry!”
I lift myself back up pushing on my fists, and seeing her upset face I start laughing while propping my back up against the headboard,
“No harm done! It’s rather flattering you forget dynamic stability is not my best ability.”
She laughs out loud and gives me a sorry kiss.
“Were you really that in a hurry to cream spread me?”
She nods still laughing. We end up massaging each other and I try my hardest to match the pleasure she gave me in the shower. We finally fall asleep exhausted.