Thoughts about Jacob grow into an obsession
over the following weeks. I google TalcTech but it seems impossible to find out
where the company’s offices are located in the city. TalcTech seems to operate
exclusively as service provider for larger companies and they have neither a
website nor advertisement of their own. Even the invoice for checking my router
went directly to my telephone company.
During a shopping tour with Jenna I happen
to walk past the bar where I have seen Jacob. Out of a sudden impulse I
convince her to have a drink and we go inside and take seats by the windows. I
stare at the street all the time but of course Jacob does not show.
I know it is sick but I get home from work
earlier the following days to sit in the window seat of that bar and watch
people hustling by outside. Three days nothing happens but on the fourth I nearly
let my coffee cup fall when Jacob walks past on the other side of the glass, wearing his black jacket and a light woolen hat, moving slowly among the crowd. I do not think he has seen me. I hastily throw over my own coat and
follow him on the busy street, easily waving in and out of the thick flock of
people without being noticed by him.
Only one block down the street he enters a
grocery store. I wait some time, then step through the sliding doors after him,
brushing away the feeling of guilt that is creeping into my consciousness.
It is a small city store but Jacob does not
seem to take much notice of his surroundings. He buys bananas which he stores
in the empty cotton bag he has slung over his shoulder. Next are toast and
bacon. I follow him, carefully keeping my distance, pretending to be interested
in articles I do not ever intend to buy. He is making his way through the shop
slowly, waiting for an elderly man with a shopping cart to clear the way before
heading down the aisle. He stops to look at some articles, then tugs his cane
under his left arm to collect a package of flour from the shelf and dump it in
the bag. He never even seems to take notice of articles below waist height.
He rounds a corner and I wait a few seconds
before hurrying to it, sneaking a look around it. I blink. He is gone. I walk
down the aisle, turn into the next one and when I do not find him there, I keep
standing in front of the shelves, clueless.
“Spaghetti again?”
I whirl around.
“Uh…”
Jacob is standing in front of me, right
hand on his cane, his half full bag resting against his left side. There is a
dangerous curl around his lips and his blue eyes are like steel.
“Y-yes,” I say, feeling the heat flush my
face. You’ve got to act quickly, girl! I grab one of the packages on the shelf,
holding it in front of me like a shield. “Spaghetti!”
Jacob raises his eyebrows, his lips twitching.
“Green ones?”
I flash a faux grin at him. “Oh yes,
absolutely delicious!” Ugh, really, green? I did not even know they exist.
“Hm… okay. What sauce?”
I frantically look up and down the shelf
and pick one of the glasses. “This one! Um… cottage cheese sauce?” Whatever
this is, but just from the color it seems a reasonable choice to green spaghetti.
Jacob does not seem convinced, the muscles
in his right arm bulge as he shifts his weight. My stomach rumbles and I look
at the green spaghetti and the glass of slimy white sauce in my hands. I dimly
remember my fridge is indeed empty.
His sharp voice makes me shiver. “Why did
you follow me?”
I swear my heart stops. “I didn’t!”
He huffs. “I might be a cripple, but I’m no
fool.”
I must be bright red at the moment. “I…
uhm…” The plastic package around the pasta rustles as I fiddle with it. “Oh
damn it, Jacob. I’m sorry, okay?”
“About what now?”
An Asian woman with a small kid in the cart
passes us and gives me time to gather my thoughts. God, I am awful at this.
“I’ve been such an ass and... I did not
intend to make you feel like… And I have a boyfriend.”
“I know,” he says, his voice low again. He shrugs
his shoulder, readjusting the bag. “I saw him.”
“I’d like us to be friends,” I whisper.
Jacob’s eyes turn sad as they search my
face, his features softening. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”
“Please, Jacob, I’m really, really sorry-“
“Don’t be. I’ve been silly for getting my
hopes high. Good luck with the spaghetti.”
With this he turns and leaves without
another glance back at me, the bag swinging against his side with his rocking
gait. I keep standing in the aisle, spaghetti in one hand and sauce in the
other and watch without being able to move as he turns at the end of the aisle
towards the checkout counters.
Let me state that green spaghetti and cottage cheese sauce taste absolutely horrible.
***
I stop stalking Jacob. He absolutely hates
me and thinking about it, he has every right to do so. I tell myself that it is
better that way. Things buried in the past better stay down. What would we have
done anyway, Jacob and me? He is searching for something I cannot give, would
not even dare to give if I could, I think.
I swear, it is not my fault when I bump
into Jacob again one week later, quite literally this time.
I am at work, on my way to meet Jenna for
lunch and I am late because a client had been rather persistent on the phone.
The elevator takes forever because so many people are using it and I have to
take the stairs, resulting in me being already out of breath as I dart through
the door that leads to the cafeteria and round a corner.
That is to say, I would have rounded that
corner if it had not been for the guy standing behind it. I let out a surprised
scream before we collide and, hands braced in front of me, we crash to the
floor in a tangle of limbs.
I stare into Jacob’s wide blue eyes. “You?!”
He seems as surprised as I am, blinking and
breathing fast. I scramble to get off of him and he tries to sit up. “What…
what are you doing here?” he asks, holding his side. He is wearing a light gray
suit, with white shirt and tie, way more formal than when he has been at my
place.
“I am working here,” I answer as I get up
and straighten my dress. People are watching. “Are you okay?”
Jacob has scooted back to lean against the
wall and looks around frantically. A few people have stopped for a couple of
seconds but resume walking when they see that we are apparently still alive.
Lunch is more important right now.
His roaming eyes find me. “I- uhm… Where is
my cane?”
I locate the brown stick a few feet down
the corridor and hand it down to him. The wood is smooth and cool beneath my
fingers. “Do you need help?” I remember the situation back in my home.
Jacob does not say anything but winces when
he straightens his back and that is answer enough for me. Bolder this time, I
grab his bent left arm under the armpit and brace him, while he pushes with his
right hand on the cane, his back sliding up on the wall until he stands. When
he has found his balance, I take a step back and Jacob adjusts his jacket.
“Are you hurt?” I ask when he frowns as he touches
his side.
“Just a bruise. You have sharp elbows,” he
says. “Are you okay, anything hurt?” He scrutinizes me, frowning.
I shake my head. “Nope, I’m good. You are
soft as a cushion.”
“Thanks a lot.” He grins lopsided, but resumes
looking around, a nervous crease on his forehead. “Listen... I have to go. It's
been good seeing you again.”
He turns and limps away with his head bowed,
vanishing among people and I keep standing for a few seconds, dumbfounded,
before I call after him.
“Jacob! Wait!”
He does not seem to hear me or he pretends
not to but if there is anything he cannot do, it is running away from me. I
quickly catch up with him, dodging people that are coming the other way. I
notice they make a berth around Jacob and his cane, but they do not seem to
care about bumping into me.
“What are you doing here?”
Jacob distractedly looks sideways at me.
“Uh... I had a meeting with someone from Recom.” He stops at the elevators and
repeatedly presses a button with the knuckles of his right fist that is still
curled around the cane's handle.
“With whom?” I notice he is sweating
although it is not that hot in here, a thin film of moist glittering on his
forehead.
“You would not know the person,” he simply
says, impatiently tracking the display for the elevator to arrive.
“Huh... but-” The ding of the arriving
elevator cuts me short and people gushing out of it separate Jacob from me for
a few seconds.
He steps inside the now empty cubicle and
turns towards me. “Bye.”
“Jacob-”
Before the doors can close he exhales in a
sigh and presses the button for opening them again. “Um... do you know the new
Indian restaurant at market square?”
“Yes...”
“Would you... would you like to meet me
there this afternoon for dinner?”
“Oh... okay?” The doors are closing before
I can even ask myself what caused his sudden change of mind. I am left
wondering about it for the rest of the day.
***
The Indian place is bustling and it seems
like Jacob has not arrived yet when I step in. I dimly wonder if he has stood
me up before I have a look at the time. Turns out I am just super-early because
I am so nervous and could not think of anything else today. I cannot find a
reason why Jacob would want to meet me. Maybe he applied for a position at
Recom and wants insider views on the company? Whatever it may be, I am
determined to do everything to make it up to him.
I find seats further in the back, separated
by a few colorful curtains from the rest of the room. I order something to
drink and pretend to study the menu while I wait for him, my eyes darting to
the entrance every other second.
My stomach gives a happy flip when Jacob
finally arrives on the other side of the glass door. Guess I was worried he
might not come after all. He attempts to shoulder open the heavy door and
directs a forced smile at a waiter who yanks it open for him and waves him
inside. Jacob scans the room with a growing frown and I wave through the
curtains from my seat to make myself known. I think his eyes light up when he
finds me, his tense posture relaxing the second he settles on the bench across
from me, the curtains falling shut again, shielding us from the rest of the
room.
“Hi Cait.”
I suppress a shiver at his deep, rumbling
voice. “Hi!” I cannot stop smiling like it is plastered to my face.
We both order curry. When Jacob's drink
arrives, his glass has a straw in it while mine has not. He frowns and removes
it but otherwise does not acknowledge it. Neither do I.
“Jacob…” I take my glass and take a sip to
hide my nervousness. “Why am I here?”
Jacob’s thumb clears a drop of water from
his glass. It runs along the side of his hand. He looks at it for a long time before
he faces me. “I accept your apology and I’d like us to start over. If you want.
As friends.”
I stare at him, surprised.
Jacob places his glass on the table and
swipes his hand on a napkin. “We've both been a little childish I guess. Maybe
we can forget what happened.”
“Oh... okay. But… why now?” I stammer, unable to stop myself as my
thoughts flood my brain.
Jacob shrugs with only his right shoulder,
his brows curving into a small frown. “Guess I needed some time. If you don’t
want, it is okay, we don’t have to, I mean I barely know you and-“
“No…” I hurry to interrupt him. “No… I’d
like that.”
His face splits into a grin and he slumps
back against his seat, seemingly relieved. “Cool. It’s… I like you, you know? I
mean, as a friend.”
“I like you too.” As a friend. Definitely,
that’s it.
I search Jacob's face, a part of me still
wondering why he is coming around to me now but when he does not say anything, I lean back, trying to come
to terms with the fact that he really could just be interested in me as a
friend and nothing more. Maybe he is gay? No, there is no reason to think that
and we would not even have this conversation if he actually were gay, right?
Because then there would be no problem. Probably I should just stop being
paranoid and accept that there are some decent guys out there, after all. At
least one decent, absolutely gorgeous guy…
We talk about work. He has only started a
few months ago at TalcTech. He rants about his co-worker Vito, the one who brought
the equipment in disarray, but I sense a tender affection underneath his words.
They seem to get along well and I feel happy for him. He asks if I am satisfied
with my current position at Recom, which is difficult to answer. I mean, the
money is relatively okay, it is just really dull work at oftentimes the worst
times and if a server crashes I can cancel sleep for a night or more. Not to
speak of social life. Jenna and I are constantly joking about changing work
place. But I just found this job a year ago and I am not sure I want to start
applying again.
Jacob seems to be on Jenna’s side though. “I
personally think if you are not happy, you should consider searching for something
else. Also... I heard a few foul things about your employer. I mean...”
I nod. There has been some sort of scandal
in the past, shortly before I got employed, something about money that vanished
in a manager's pocket. I think they sacked the guy but the bad reputation
sticks of course.
The food arrives and we tuck in. It is
spicy and creamy, just as I like it. I notice it is the right kind of food for
Jacob, too, since a fork is sufficient to eat the rice and small pieces of meat
or cheese in sauce.
I tell Jacob that I have not managed to get
much out of the city since I arrived two years ago.
“Actually, I only moved
here because of Marcus.”
I see a short hesitation as Jacob lifts the
fork to his mouth but then he says: “You really missed out. The surroundings
are beautiful.”
All in all, it is a surprisingly light
conversation and I start to feel comfortable. Jacob’s left underarm rests over
his stomach. From my point of view at the table, it is barely possible to tell
anything is not as it should be. It helps cooling my nerves.
We pay separately and are already standing
outside when Jacob turns towards me. "You know what?" He watches me,
a little uncertain. "Since you are still practically a stranger around
here... Why don’t I show you some of the nicer places in this area? I had
planned to go on a hike tomorrow and I thought… maybe you’d want to join
me?"
"Uh..." Tomorrow is Saturday and
one of Marcus' cousins celebrates her birthday. I am sure I could wiggle out
somehow, in fact I have waited for a reason to do so. I like his family and his
parents in general, but lately they have been a bit annoying with their
constant nagging about our wedding plans. There are none, but they would very
obviously like there to be some. "I like hiking. So... why not?"
It is actually more of a serious question
than a rhetorical one but he does not react to it. How does someone go hiking
who barely gets up a flight of stairs?
Jacob looks happily relieved.
"Awesome. So... at ten?"
"That's fine with me." Marcus
leaves earlier than ten at Saturday. Not that there is actually a need to keep
Jacob a secret, just… Maybe it is better if Marcus does not know I am meeting
with a guy, even if he only is a friend.
Jacob clears his throat. "I’ll pick
you up in front of the building."
Of course. I could have suggested that
myself. "Okay great. So, um… I’ll take the subway home."
“My car is parked just around the corner. I
could drive you home?”
“Um… that’s really nice of you but it is not far.”
Although that is true, it is not the only reason why I do not want to be
brought home by Jacob. I think of Marcus but I also think that it would turn
this whole dinner into a date. And we are not dating.
“Oh, of course. Then… see you tomorrow,
Cait."
"See you."
I watch him go, watch his gait as he leans
to his right every other step to bring his left leg forward, the cane thumping
on the asphalt. I am so screwed.
--> Chapter 6
--> Chapter 6
Finally they are friends now. I hope it will not take them too long to become more than friends.
ReplyDeleteIt is a really nice story and hopefully you will update again soon.
Thank you so much! I will give my best :)
DeleteWho is doing the hiding? --
DeleteDo we have a MISTER-y or a MISS-tery?
I see Jacob is hiding something . Something fishy . I love a story with mystery . Please give us more chapters soon .
ReplyDeleteOh, very good! You are on to something there...
DeleteMy previous reply was meant for here! Sorry! LOL
DeleteI think it's safe to say they are both pretty good at hiding stuff.
DeleteI am sure Hiking will be hot
ReplyDeleteSmoking. Yeah, I guess we devs understand each other :D
DeleteThank you so much for this indeed very nice surprise and also great chapter. So good they have finally reconnected. I am so much looking forward to their hiking adventure, I hope you will be able to update soon!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks, that's so sweet!
DeleteFinally! These people were killing me! Looking forward to see what happens on the hiking trip. Glad you posted!
ReplyDeleteHaha, yes, they took some time... Thanks for leaving a comment, makes me happy, happy, happy =)
DeleteThis story is great! Now I'm in the mood for a shrimp curry!
ReplyDeleteHaha :) thanks!
Delete