Friday, January 15, 2016

For The Love Of Not Walking Chapter 18

Kieran and Erin go through some more emotional moments, and Erin questions again why she is so attracted to Kieran. Another mysterious encounter overshadows the end of their day.

Chapter 18
When Kieran blinked into the room the next morning he was confused for just a moment at where he was. Quickly he remembered that he was at Erin’s house. She wasn’t next to him when he looked over but he heard noises outside the bedroom. He lifted the blanket and felt for his briefs, checking to see if everything was dry and he was relieved when that was indeed the case. If he did urinate during the night it had at least not leaked out. The briefs did feel warm and swollen though and he wanted to get out of them soon. He sat up sleepily. His Quickie was still right next to him by the bed.
He adjusted his sitting position and pulled his wheelchair even closer to the bed, set his backpack on the bed, then transferred into the seat. The seat was slightly lower than the bed and he plopped into it and adjusted his position. He pulled his back pack on his lap and debated if he should use Erin’s master bathroom or the girl’s bathroom once again. He put his hands to his rims and wheeled toward the girl’s bathroom. Erin caught him in the hallway.

She was already dressed and looked fresh and happy, “Good Morning baby.”
Kieran stopped in the hallway as she came over and leaned down to kiss him.
“Good Morning. When did you get up?”
“About 9 o’clock.”
“You should have woke me up.”
She smiled, “You looked so peaceful sleeping.”
Kieran glanced at the bathroom, “Should I use this one again?”
“Yeah, go ahead. Kieran…” She stopped and looked somewhat shyly at him, “Ahem…I don’t know…well, I guess you have a special bathroom at your house…the bathtubs here are probably…not good for you?”
“I can just try to wash off while in my chair.”
Erin still seemed unsure, “If you…is there anything I can do for you?”
Kieran looked into the bathroom and then at her, “Probably not, I will just give it a shot in there. I’ll just have to use your bed again to get dressed.”
“All right, well, I’ll be in here for a little while then.”
Erin nodded nervously, “I’ll have breakfast ready for you. Please let me know if you need anything.”
He smiled, “I will.”

She watched him wheel into the bathroom and close the door. She was worried about his ability to get his things done in the bathroom that was not accessible at all. More and more she felt bad for having made Kieran stay at her house and made her realize that there were things he was dealing with that she didn’t really understand yet or even know about.

Kieran found a washcloth on the sink next to the towel he had used the night before. With some problems he was able to wriggle his lounge pants and the briefs off. He had peed during the night and the briefs were wet with urine. He balled them up and dug out a plastic bag from his back pack. He really didn’t want Erin to know about this and with that there was no way he could throw the briefs away openly at her house. He dropped them into the plastic bag and tied a knot into the bag, then stuffed it back into his back pack. Trying to do all of this without her knowledge made him feel nervous and he knew that he couldn’t pull this off forever if they were going to be together. He pulled out the catheter from his bag and drained his bladder and still lots of urine flowed into the toilet again.

He washed his hands, his face and with the washcloth under his arms and then lastly his privates. It was quite a hassle and he tried to not take too long with all of this. When he was done washing himself as good as possible in his wheelchair he draped the towel over his legs, opened the door to the hallway and peeked out to make sure the path was clear and that Erin was occupied in the kitchen so he could get into her bedroom to get on the bed and put his clothes on.

His jeans, boxers, and socks were still on a chair by the bed and he threw everything on the bed, then transferred himself onto the bed again. He lay on the bed naked and positioned himself to be able to pull his boxers over his legs. His legs kept falling from side to side and he had to keep adjusting his legs. Just when he was about to button up his jeans it knocked on the door, “Kieran, are you managing all right?”
He held himself up on his elbows, “Yes, I’ll be right out.”
“May I come in real quick and get something from my bathroom?”
Since he had his jeans on he didn’t think it was an issue, “Yeah, sure.”

Erin came in, and glanced shyly over to Kieran who was laid out spread eagle on the bed, only in his jeans.
She hurried into her bathroom and Kieran followed her with his eyes. She was definitely attractive and he was still in disbelief that Erin actually was with him now.
When she came out and looked over to him again he said, “Come here for a moment.”

Erin walked over somewhat hesitant and sat down on the edge of the bed, smiling at him. Kieran didn’t wait but with a strong grip pulled her down to him and kissed her hard. Erin laid halfway on him and when her hand she touched the uneven skin of his scar running from his neck down to his belly she felt an instant surge go through her and her loins were aching for him. Kieran ran his hands up and down her back and let them rest on her ass, feeling the slight movement of her hips on him.

He wanted her a lot and he wanted so much more of her. His mind was racing at how he could give her more of himself when important features of his manhood were not working anymore. He tried to focus on kissing Erin but couldn’t stop his mind from drifting away to other things he wanted to do with Erin but had no idea how. When he concentrated on Erin again he pulled her lower body close to him and wished so much he could feel the pressure of her body on him but he didn’t feel anything. Erin was the first woman he was with since becoming paralyzed and even though he had tested on many occasions the spots below his T-4 vertebrae where he imagined feeling just a little bit of a sensation he now realized that there wasn’t really any sensation of her body on his. It was strange to feel her with his hands but not feel her on his body. Only the feeling of being pinned down on the bed let him know she was even on him.

Erin was breathing quickly and her lips had travelled from his mouth to his neck and ears and he tried to push the thoughts of frustration away and just enjoy her kisses for what they were. Erin traced his scar with her fingers and she felt very aroused at the touch of it and just knowing how Kieran really was and she moved her hips some more on him, wrapping her legs around his still legs and pushing her pelvis against him in small rhythmic movements. She smelled his skin and the cologne he wore and she kissed his neck and licked over his scar with her tongue, breathing quickly, and moving her body against his.

Kieran felt how excited Erin was now and that somehow the intense kissing had steered into another direction, one that he felt unsure about because he didn’t know what to do and how he could be part of it. Erin seemed to be in another world, licking over his scar and his skin and pushing herself against him harder in a rhythmic motion. Kieran reached for her ass and felt her movements up and down under his hands.
Erin mumbled into his skin, “Oh Gosh Kieran, you turn me on so much.”

He knew that she was directly rubbing her pelvis on his dead cock and he felt nothing of an arousal or getting hard. He only felt frustration now and his mind raced around stopping her from taking this to the next level. He stared at the ceiling and he just let Erin keep going. When she came up to his face again to kiss him he turned away and his hands dropped onto the bed next to him and Erin.
Erin stopped abruptly in her excitement and looked at him, asking lowly, “Kieran, what is it?”
“Can you just get off me?”

Erin had come close to orgasm, her pussy pulsating with lust and now it hurt physically and psychologically to stop what she was doing. She moved off Kieran and sat on the edge of the bed, her legs falling back down as she couldn’t look at him now. She held herself steady with her hands, thinking and letting the feelings of arousal and excitement subside as she tried to slow her breathing.
Kieran still lay on the bed silently, swallowing, and trying to keep his emotions in check.
Erin didn’t look at him but said lowly, “I’m sorry Kieran. I was wrong to do what I did.”

With that she waited a moment and when he didn’t say anything she got up and walked away. Kieran tried to swallow the knot in his throat. He wanted so badly to say all kinds of things to her and tell her how he felt so angry and sad about the missing link in his sexuality and how he was afraid he couldn’t satisfy her and that she would realize it wasn’t worth to be with him. Instead he let her walk away.

At night when he was by himself he felt it all, his legs, and his penis, and at least for half an hour or so he could be masturbating or maybe even get inside a woman with an erection. But apparently by being with Erin he had given up those privileges and was just another paraplegic guy who couldn’t get it up. He hit the pillow next to him and debated what to do.

Erin had walked out because she didn’t want Kieran to see her tears and now she was outside on her deck and she cried. The distant feelings of arousal were only slowly subsiding into an unfulfilled state. She couldn’t help herself being so turned on by Kieran but now she felt like some dumb chick that only thought of her own pleasure and getting off on her paralyzed boyfriend. It all seemed so wrong still and she questioned her reasons for being with him once again. His body turned her on and the knowledge of his disability made her feel extremely attracted to him. Everything about his paraplegia was a turn on for her but she didn’t know much about it and she also wasn’t sure how Kieran could actually have sex and not knowing those things made her feel ignorant and selfish.

The sight and touch of his scar had almost brought her over the edge and combined with his lifeless legs and knowing he would never walk again drove her crazy. The attraction and her feelings for him still scared her in a way and confused her. She assumed that the response of a normal woman to a disabled man would probably not go beyond friendship but why did she feel so different about his disability and it was actually something that drove her crazy and made her mind race and every time she saw him in his wheelchair made her heart almost pop out of her chest because it beat so extremely fast for him.

She had always felt something different for attractive men in wheelchairs or when she would see a man on crutches or in some kind of brace every once in a while but she had always pushed those feelings away very quickly because they didn’t seem right and she felt like she was a sick person having those feelings for disabled men. Her marriage to Ryan had been filled with an active lifestyle. He was an avid hiker and enjoyed the outdoors, loved swimming and they had spent lots of their free time with active hobbies. After the divorce she stopped being overly active but how could she have loved someone so active and now be so attracted and drawn to a man that most likely wouldn’t be doing none of those things. She felt so many emotions for Kieran that seemed to come closer and closer to love with each moment in his presence.

Kieran transferred into his Quickie, the frustration over his reaction to Erin ate him up inside. He was angry at himself for making Erin feel like she had been doing something wrong.
He slipped on his socks and sneakers, then pulled his T-Shirt over his head, put his hands to his rims and wheeled out of the bedroom. He was nervous facing Erin and when he didn’t see her in the kitchen and living room he glanced over to the doors out to the deck. He saw her outside sitting on the steps down into the yard.

He pushed himself over the threshold and rolled out onto the deck. Erin heard him but didn’t turn around. She was still crying and now tried to get control of herself as she heard Kieran behind her. She quickly wiped over her face.
Kieran thought about what to say and just stayed behind her. Erin sniffled her nose and he realized she was crying.
Lowly and with a trembling voice he started, “Erin, I’m sorry about a while ago…”
She replied lowly, “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done what I did. It was wrong of me to be so selfish.”

Kieran shifted in his Quickie and leaned forward slightly, holding himself up with his arms on his thighs and fingers interlocked on his lap. He looked at Erin’s backside, her long brown hair coming down over her back and almost touching the floor of the deck. Her body trembled slightly as she still cried and sniffled her nose.
Lowly he replied, “You are not selfish and you weren’t wrong. It’s just…” He paused and pondered how to put his thoughts and feelings into words without sounding full of self-pity and anger about himself.
“Erin, I…I really enjoyed you so close to me. Hell, I wish I wouldn’t have stopped it, just because of my own fucking issues.”
His voice sounded tense as he continued, “But you are the first…woman I’m with since all this shit put me in the hospital and I came out of it in this wheelchair. I…I don’t know how to be…I don’t know how to act when things get hot…you know. I’m not like an able bodied guy…stuff doesn’t work anymore. I don’t feel things down there, I can’t control some intimate stuff…fuck, for all I know I could be peeing in my pants while you are all over me, and that scares the hell out of me…I don’t want things like that to happen while we…while we are close. I wish I could give you more and be all the way with you…like you know…actually do it…” He stopped again, feeling silly saying the things he said.

He took a deep breath and continued nervously, “Erin, I…like you so much…and I’m so…I’m so happy you are into me for some reason, but I’m worried about…about not being able to give you what you want. There are things I can’t do…I mean I think there are meds but I…have never tried anything and I don’t know how they work or if they even work. All I know is what I was told in rehab and what I can’t feel anymore. That was pretty much the final thing, I was told I won’t have…sex the common way anymore and now I am faced with that. And it pisses me off so much…and a while ago I guess…you on me and…I felt how excited you were and all…it frustrated me, and I’m sorry I stopped you. I shouldn’t have.”

His words came out shaky and Erin just listened, tears still running over her cheeks.
“And then I thought about those nights when I…I somehow for some fucking strange reason can feel stuff and then being here last night…nothing happened. In those moments at night when…somehow my body becomes normal again I do have feelings and I know I could be doing stuff...but I guess it’s true that deciding to be…with you, I won’t have that happen anymore.”
He took a deep breath, “And it sounds so fucking crazy to say all this stuff…I don’t even believe it anymore. Maybe I am just imagining shit and it drives me nuts. I want to be with you and I want to be so much closer to you but knowing that somehow I could trade being with you for feeling stuff again…I mean…it’s just not right…”
He couldn’t talk anymore as his voice broke and he felt his emotions overtake him. He hung his head.

Erin wiped over her eyes again and turned around to face Kieran.
She started with a tear filled voice, “Kieran, it’s okay. I’m not mad at you. There’s so much I want to say. I believe the things you told me last night and even if it’s really true that you are forced to make a decision I wish I could take that away from you….but I want you to know, that no matter what I care so much about you. You are like a dream come true for me.”

She stopped and tears ran down her cheeks again, “I don’t care about sex or whatever but you…you do turn me so much with the way you are but it’s not the only thing. You’re special to me and I want to be with you but no matter what you decide I won’t hold it against you. You’re in my heart and on my mind all the time and I can’t hardly resist you. I shouldn’t have taken it so far a while ago because I didn’t know but being with you is just amazing. I’ve never felt this way about any man before, not even Ryan. I want to learn everything about your disability and what it includes and there’s nothing that would stop me from feeling the way I do about you. I think….”
She took a deep breath, “Kieran, I think I’m falling in love with you but I know that if it’s true that what is happening to you when you are not with me and if it’s true that you have to make this decision then whatever you decide it won’t ever change how I feel about you. You will always be in my heart.”

Kieran couldn’t really believe what he heard. She said she was falling in love with him and he looked up at her and saw the tears on her face. She also basically left the decision up to him, the decision he had to make and was racing through his mind like a rollercoaster, a decision he couldn’t even imagine having to make. Being with Erin made him feel good and the way she cared for him and apparently also felt for him made his heart jump for joy but knowing that if he would give this up he could possibly be walking again hurt in his heart like a knife was being shoved into it over and over again.
He looked at Erin and swallowed, and he shrugged his shoulders in defeat, and with a trembling voice said, “I don’t know what to do…but I also know that the way I feel about you is….”
He couldn’t talk anymore, instead he tried to keep his emotions in check. Erin got up and came over to him, dropped on her knees next to his wheelchair and after looking at him for a moment she laid her hand on his knee and mumbled, “Kieran, I care so much about you and I want to be there for you no matter what. I wish I could take away from you what you are going through.”

Kieran stroked softly over her hand and looked up into the blue sky, the sun high and hot and tears were trying to push their way out of his eyes.
What Erin said about falling in love with him was true for him as well but he couldn’t bring it over himself to say the words because he feared that once he would say he loved her the chance of maybe living a life on two legs again would forever be gone and never return.
But if the price to pay for a life of walking again would be love then he didn’t know if there would even be a reason to live for him anymore.

Kieran wiped over his face and looked back at Erin. Her eyes were still on him expectantly. He still couldn’t bring it over his lips to finish his sentence.
“Kieran, I want to be with you and maybe things will somehow work out. I want you to let me know if anything bothers you and also if something happens at night when you are not with me.”
Kieran nodded, “Okay.”
She then stood up and leaned down to hug him. Kieran wrapped his arms around her back and received her warm hug.
She whispered into his ear, “I care about you so very much Kieran. Nothing will change that.”
He was relieved she didn’t say she loved him and he replied, “Thank you Erin…I am very happy about that. I care a whole lot about you too.”
He pulled her to him and he held her down to him and they kissed again.

Erin had made breakfast which was now almost cold in the kitchen. She set the plates in the microwave, and warmed up the scrambled eggs and sausages for a few seconds.
They sat at the kitchen table and ate quietly until Kieran said, “I want to show you my place today.”
“I would love that.”
“Maybe we can go by there later on.”
“Yeah, sure.”

It was a warm day again. September had just begun but on some trees the leaves were already turning colors.
Erin wanted to do something fun with Kieran and asked carefully, “Do you have any plans for today?”
Kieran looked over at her, “I don’t know. Do you have anything in mind?”
“Well, it is still nice out and we need to enjoy the last few days of summer. We could go walk somewhere. Of course somewhere accessible for you.”
“Yeah, that would be cool.”

After discussing for a while where they could go, they decided on the Wildlife refuge. It had nice sturdy trails and Kieran would be able to wheel along the paths. He had been there with the family before and remembered it was fairly accessible for him.

Erin enjoyed riding in Kieran’s Mustang. It was a nice car and it was obvious that Kieran was very happy driving his car and even seemed proud to be able to still drive himself.
At the refuge they found the disabled parking close to the visitor center. Erin watched as he got out of his car, she placed his backpack on the handles of the Quickie while Kieran locked his car with the remote.
The emotional moments of the morning had been pushed aside for smiles and laughter and Erin was glad that Kieran seemed more relaxed now and even joked a little.
They made their way into the refuge on the wooden trails that ran partly over a marshland. They stopped at a few spots and let their eyes travel over the water, looking for water fowl and other wild animals. Erin was very happy just being with Kieran.

He felt the same way. On a few occasion he just watched her as she tried to point out animals or thought she spotted something and was excited and fully concentrated on her sightings. He watched her and he felt so good about being with her. Being with her let him forget everything that had been going on and he found himself thinking that maybe all the things he had experienced during the last couple of weeks had really only been some kind of illusion.
He wanted so much for all of it to go away and be able to just enjoy the time with Erin and being with her if he choose to without having to think about mysterious strangers or situations.

Surprisingly the paths were not too busy on that Saturday and they enjoyed a nice stroll. At the halfway point of the refuge was a bathroom and Erin wanted to use it real quick. She kissed Kieran on his cheek quickly and he wheeled over to the railing of the path and looked out into the woods.
“Are you enjoying your day Kieran?”
Kieran was startled with the voice next to him and when he looked up his fear had come true. There he was once again, the old man.
Kieran stared at him with flickering green eyes and the old man smiled at him, “She is beautiful.”
Kieran looked over his shoulder to make sure Erin was not on her way back yet.
He turned to look at the old man, “What do you want from me now?”
“Nothing, I already told you what you have to think about and I am just wondering if you are close to a decision yet.”
Kieran leaned forward slightly and grabbed the railing with his hands to find some grounding as anxiety and anger tried to surface.
The old man asked, “Have you decided yet?”
Kieran was tense and quickly looked up at the old man with piercing eyes, “No, I have not made a decision yet.”
“I know it’s probably difficult.”
“Yes, it is and you can go fuck yourself with your proposition. It’s not going to be possible for me to ever walk again and whatever the hell you were doing to me the last couple of weeks was just a load of bullshit and you trying to fuck with me. I don’t care about you or anything you think you have control of in my life.”
The old man let his eyes travel out over the railing and into the woods.

Erin came out of the bathroom and when she looked toward Kieran he seemed to be talking but she didn’t see anyone there with him. She stopped in her stride and just watched as Kieran talked to himself.
Kieran had no idea about Erin watching him and he told the old man, “Just get the fuck out of my life old man, okay.  I don’t want to see you again. I don’t want you to talk or appear to me ever again and I will decide when I want to.”
“You do remember the trade, right?”
Kieran angrily put his hands to his rims now, “Yeah, I fucking remember but you can’t control me or anything I do in my life. You are not real. You are just some kind of fucking illusion or something.”
“I am an illusion but a real one of your mind and everything I told you is the truth.”
Kieran pushed his wheelchair toward the old man and he stepped back a few steps, “What are you trying to do Kieran?”
“I’m trying to get you the fuck out of my life. Leave me alone.”

Erin watched the whole scene as Kieran pushed his chair forward some and seemingly tried to push something away, something or someone she couldn’t see. And she heard his words louder and she felt her hands tremble at witnessing the strange interaction of Kieran with something invisible.
The old man smiled at Kieran again, “Kieran, there is a time limit on your decision. You have two weeks and then you need to let me know what you want to do.”
Kieran now said even louder, “Fuck off.”

Erin started walking toward Kieran when he realized she was coming his way.
He stopped his movement with the wheelchair and looked at her terrified, then yelling and pointing toward nothing, “This is him…this is the dude that is telling me all this shit about walking.”
Erin didn’t see anyone and came over to Kieran, who kept looking from her to the nothing he had talked to. She reached him and Kieran looked at the nothing again, “Tell him to leave me alone.”
Erin looked toward where he pointed to but she didn’t see anything. Her facial expression turned sad and desperate when she looked at Kieran again.

Kieran still saw him and the old man said, “She’s definitely a beautiful woman. Good Bye Kieran.”
Kieran had a bad feeling about this and replied angrily, “Why don’t you tell her what you told me?”
His voice trembled as he looked back to Erin, “Erin, this is him.”

He saw the old man walk away on the trail and then looked at Erin who had a sadness in her eyes.
Lowly and with a shaky voice he stated, “You didn’t see him, did you?”
She was afraid to answer him but she knew she had to, “No, I didn’t see anyone.”
Kieran looked after the old man and screamed, “Why the fuck are you doing this to me?”

The old man didn’t turn around and didn’t answer and Kieran felt his hands tremble as he put them to his rims and wheeled away from Erin, cursing loudly.
She walked after him, “Kieran, wait, please. I didn’t see anyone but I believe you.”
She was worried about Kieran breaking down again over this.
He stopped abruptly and she reached him, “I do believe you Kieran.”
When he looked at Erin his eyes were full of desperation, “I’m not crazy Erin. He was there and he asked me….”
Kieran’s voice broke and he swallowed to continue, “He asked me if I had made a decision….”
She squatted and moved as close as possible to him, looking up at him, “Don’t worry about it Kieran. Don’t let him get to you.”

With that she got up and Kieran was stunned when she ran down the trail after the old man, who was now a good distance away and she yelled into nothing, “Leave him alone. You need to stop doing this to him. I love him and you are horrible making him decide between love and walking again. He has been through enough and you need to disappear from Kieran’s life.”

She yelled loudly with a trembling voice. Kieran watched the scene and he saw the old man turn around and stop in his stroll. Erin was now almost face to face with him. The old man just looked into her direction and apparently heard everything she yelled but he didn’t appear to her but instead a white dove swooped by right in front of Erin’s face and the old man disappeared even from Kieran’s view.

Erin was startled at the dove flying off into the air and she screamed after it, “Leave us alone. I love him and nothing will change that.”
She looked up in the sky after the dove, which now was gliding high and disappeared in the trees.
Erin screamed of the top of her lungs once more, “Go away.”

Kieran was awestruck at her outburst and when she turned around she just looked at him for a moment from a distance. Then she started jogging toward him and he saw her crying when she reached him and she basically fell on his lap.
He put on his break quickly not to roll backwards as Erin climbed on his lap without hesitation and she wrapped her arms around his neck and he held her to him and she said with a tear filled voice, “I believe you Kieran and we will figure this out together.”
They sat there for a while just holding each other and processing the moments before.

After a while Kieran asked her lowly, “You really didn’t see him?”
“No, but I felt his presence. Do you think the dove...”
She stopped, feeling silly about her assumption but Kieran answered, “I think it was him. He disappeared from my view as well and then I saw that dove.”
Erin shook her head in doubt, “How can this be?”
Kieran shrugged his shoulders and sounded weak, “I really don’t know.”
She wrapped her arms around him again and kissed him.

The rest of their walk was quiet. Both were still thinking about the mysterious encounter. Erin wanted to believe Kieran with all her heart and even though she had told him that she did believe him deep inside she had doubts if this was really happening or if maybe Kieran did see things that weren’t really there. She didn’t want to make him think that she didn’t believe him and kept her doubts to herself.

Kieran sensed that Erin had doubts about his encounter with the old man and it had not helped that she didn’t see him when he did, which made him look crazy to any sane person. He didn’t know what to do and deep inside his own doubts and fears hurt and it was getting difficult to hold on to the belief that he really did see and experience these things.

A familiar feeling of indifference tried to push through, the indifference to life and everything about it, thinking it may be obsolete and maybe not worth being in it after all, no matter if it was with or without a woman. He had not missed when Erin had screamed that she loved him toward an invisible presence but for some reason it hadn’t touched him like it should have. Her love really meant nothing in the face of a proposition that was all but easy.

He kept his thoughts to himself and tried to make the best out of the afternoon but apparently Erin had felt his silence some when she asked in the car on the way to a coffee shop, “Kieran, are you all right?”
He looked over to her and tried to look less depressed, “Yeah, I’m all right. It’s all good.”
“You’re still thinking about the…about him?”
Kieran turned his eyes back to the street in front of him and nodded, “Always thinking about all of it. How could I not?”
He sounded slightly bitter and Erin rested her hand on his knee, “Kieran, try not to think about it too much.”
She really had no good advice and she still wasn’t sure what to think about all of it, but she wanted to be there for Kieran and she wanted to support him.
“I try not to.”
He looked ahead again and even though Erin felt his despair she left her hand on his knee. He didn’t feel any of it and only when he looked at the radio he saw her hand on his knee.

They went for coffee at a local coffee shop, accessible for Kieran and also with a disabled bathroom stall where he catheterized while Erin ordered their coffees. When he came out of the bathroom she was sitting by the window at a small table, one chair moved away for him. Erin felt the glances of three young women sitting close by checking Kieran out and she moved a bit closer to him with her chair, just to make a point.

Over coffee they talked about the kids some and tried to avoid any conversation of the strange mystery taking place in Kieran’s life. Erin couldn’t help seeing the sadness in his eyes though ever since the encounter at the refuge. It had put a damper on their outing and also on Kieran’s well-being. He seemed distracted.
She kept touching his hands and ran her fingers over his cheek while she told him how happy she was to be out with him. He only smiled weakly and seemed distant.

They went to dinner and even though Erin would have loved to have Kieran spend another night at her house she knew he wasn’t really up for it. He did ask her to come to his place though and Erin agreed. She feared it would be strange to come to the Jamison’s house. The girls were friends after all and Fiona, Kieran’s sister was Erin’s age. It seemed odd to be visiting him there but that is where he lived and she didn’t want to disappoint him and she really wanted to be with him.


  1. Absolutely amazing story!

  2. Mysterious and loving. You combine them well.