Christmas Eve they had dinner again at Matt’s place. Eli had hesitated before inviting Isabel this time, but he didn’t want to spend Christmas without her, and he couldn’t break a nineteen year old tradition. At the end of the day, Matt and Sarah were his family and they’d just have to come to terms with Isabel eventually. Dinner wasn’t awful, all the food was delicious and Matt and Sarah behaved… civilized. He struggled to find a better word. After dinner they played domino again and especially Sarah seemed to enjoy the interaction, relaxing from her motherly attitude to slowly turn back into the cool girl Matt had fallen blindly in love with almost fifteen year ago, and Eli too, because Sarah had always embraced their friendship rather than draw them apart.
At about one thirty they said their goodbyes and drove back to Eli’s apartment. He had asked her to stay the night so Isabel had packed a small bag with clothes for the next day. She changed into her pajamas, nothing sexy, but pants and a simple tank top that hugged her thin torso allowing Eli to see the perfect shape of her breasts underneath. On second thought, there was no outfit that didn’t look sexy on Isabel. The mere fact that the fabric of her shirt was touching the skin of her braless breasts turned him on. She cuddled up next to him in the same manner she always did, but this time it was Eli who let his hand wonder across her back and then gently over her breasts. Isabel looked up to kiss him and started caressing his chest and shoulders.
He turned her around to lay on her back and then reached down to grab one of his legs and cross it over the other one so he could turn around too, sideways, supporting his upper body on his elbows to place his chest and head over her. She pulled herself up on the bed so her stomach was at the height of his face. He lifted her shirt and kissed her belly, making a line from her navel to her breasts with the tip of his tongue, then up to her neck as far as he could reach in that position. She grabbed his shoulders with both her hands and then pressed down towards his strong arms. He pulled her shirt up attempting to take it off, it got stuck on her shoulders but she helped him and in one swift move threw it away. Eli sucked her nipples. Isabel started moaning. She tucked her hands under his shirt and caressed his back and then his chest. Eli placed his hand on her hip and then pushed down to her thigh and up again to go under her pants. He pulled her pants down to her hips and kissed her womb and pelvis as she curved back, hanging on to his biceps hard.
She reached for his shirt and pulled it up. Eli had to help her by lifting one arm first and then the other one, while she took the shirt off him, slowly, so he wouldn’t lose his balance. But he was comfortable in this position, his tummy pressed against the mattress, safely hidden from her sight. He resumed kissing her stomach; he pulled her pants down a little more and pecked her pelvis with small kisses. Isabel reached down and took her pants and underwear right off. She was now completely naked before him, the smooth skin of her long legs, the perfect curve of her hips. A triangle of very short hair –red hair – framed her sex. Eli took a deep breath.
He touched her smooth legs and then her naked hips as he drew the line of her pelvis with his tongue, circling around the area of her sex. Isabel pulled herself up higher on the bed. He made her wait, savoring the expectation and then went down on her, softly at first, then harder. Isabel slightly swayed her hips under his mouth, moaning. She ran her fingers through his hair and neck as he made her moan lauder. Then she let go of him and held on to the sheets hard as his tongue touched her in a way that made her arch back, curving her torso, lifting her pelvis to press against his mouth, and she let out a cry.
When he looked up at her she was still arched back, two fists clutching the sheets, her mouth opened gasping for air and her eyes closed. He watched as her breath slowly eased, her body now relaxed as her lips shifted to a smile. Eli smiled too at the notion that he could please her. Her skin was sweaty, her sex wet, her face blissful.
He turned himself to lie on his back, his legs didn’t follow him and he had to again grab them with his hands to turn them. Then he pulled himself up on the bed to rest his back against the pillows. From there he could see her whole body. She turned to lie on her side, and Eli used his eyes to follow the line of her shoulder down the curve of her waist, then up at her round hips and gently back down across her legs, bent at the knees, then all the way to her calves and feet. Isabel caught him staring and smiled at him.
“Could I draw you?” Eli wasn’t able to restrain himself from asking. “Like this, in this position?”
“Do you mean naked?” she asked.
Eli nodded. “I would never show it to anyone. I swear. It would just be for me. Please,” he added.
“I don’t know,” Isabel hesitated.
“Please. I’ll do anything,” Eli begged in a playful tone.
“Anything?” she teased him.
“Anything”, he agreed.
“I’ll hold you to it,” she promised smiling.
“Oh, I’m a man of my word,” he held smiling too. “It’ll have to be tomorrow, though. I need sunlight,” he explained.
“Ok”, she said and cuddled up with him.
The next morning Eli woke up to find her still asleep. It was quarter after seven. They’d stayed up pretty late. He watched her slumber for a few minutes knowing he would have to wake her up soon. Finally, at about seven thirty, he caressed her hair softly to wake her. Isabel opened her eyes slowly and smiled at him.
“Morning,” he said.
“Hey, handsome,” she greeted him, stretching a bit.
“I’m sorry to wake you but I need to get up now,” he said.
“That’s ok,” she sat up on the bed. “I’m not a late sleeper. I’ll make coffee,” she added and pecked him on the lips before stepping out of the room without him having to ask.
Eli got busy with his morning routine. Afterwards he found her still in her pajamas sitting on the living room couch in an Indian position, her legs curled up over it, a coffee mug in her hand.
“Breakfast?” he offered.
“Already on it,” she said setting her mug aside and getting up. “I made pancakes.”
“It was my turn for a change, don’t you think?” she said in sweet voice.
“I thought you said you couldn’t cook?” he asked.
“Yeah, well. I can’t promise it’ll be edible but it’s the thought that counts, right?” she smiled.
It was edible, but mostly, it was really nice to have her wait on him. She had even made orange juice and poured him some next to his coffee mug. Since he was injured, Eli had set his mind on doing everything on his own. He had grown to hate it when people did things for him. But Isabel didn’t act like that; he could safely let her serve him without feeling like she was thinking he couldn’t do it himself. So he just indulged in the pleasure of her pampering him.
After they cleaned the table and did the dishes he asked her if she wanted to take a shower. Isabel always used the guest restroom on the hallway. She had never stepped foot inside his bathroom, and he felt a little anxious about her seeing the bars in it, the shower chair and other stuff he needed to make it accessible to him. But he thought it was impolite not to let her get cleaned up.
“So… Uh… There’s a chair in the shower… just get it out of your way…” he said feeling embarrassed as he handed her a towel. “Do you need anything else?” he asked nervously.
Isabel squatted in front of him and kissed him softly. “I’m fine, thanks,” she said as she took the towel from him and disappeared into the bathroom.
Eli wheeled into his studio trying not to think about Isabel in there. He had tucked away safely all of his catheterizing supplies, he hoped she didn’t decide to snoop around and look in the cabinets. Although it didn’t seem as something Isabel would do, he felt a lash of anxiety picturing her seeing all his stuff and wondering what he used it for. There was a strong possibility she already knew about it, he reminded himself of all the information she could’ve found online, if she had looked for it.
It didn’t take her long to step out of the room dressed on skinny jeans, flats and a simple loose white blouse. Isabel often wore white, which Eli thought was the perfect color for her, simple yet elegant. He heard her come out through the opened door and rolled outside to meet her at the hallway.
“So you don’t waste any time, right?” she said looking inside the studio behind him, where he had already arranged things to draw her.
“Well, I don’t want to give you a chance to chance your mind,” he smiled at her teasingly.
“A deal is a deal,” she laughed.
Eli put his hands to his rims and got out of the way so she could get inside the studio. Then he followed her. She took her shirt off, slowly, her back still turned to him, and then put her hand behind her to unbuckle her bra. Eli’s heart started pounding. She stepped out of her shoes and he saw from behind her as she pulled down the zipper of her jeans to pull them down, uncovering white lace panties. Finally, she took those off too, gently, inclining her buttocks towards him and letting him see her complete figure. Eli held his breath as she finally turned around to face him, completely naked.
Wow! Now that he got to see her, really see her in the bright morning light, he realized, even if he could still walk, he would consider himself extremely lucky to ever be in the presence of such a beautiful woman. How the hell did this perfect creature ever look twice at him?
As he sat there, more immobile than ever, staring breathless at her gorgeous body, afraid it was all a dream he was bound to wake up from at some point, he felt a rush of fear go down his spine. Fear of losing her, fear of not being enough for her, of not being able to please her, panic that she would realize just how disabled he was, that she would finally come to her senses and leave him. But then she suddenly covered her face with her hands and laughed.
“Wow, this is embarrassing,” she said.
“What?” he asked brusquely returning from his troubled mind.
“I know you’ve seen me already, but I’m feeling a little self-conscious here,” she said blushing. “I feel… you know… naked,” she laughed again.
Eli smiled, his fear quickly dissipating at her insecure attitude. Her face looked sweet, her cheeks blushed. Her deep blue eyes squinted in shame. I love you, he said in his mind. I love you Isabel. He heard the words again inside him.
“You’re so damn beautiful,” he spoke aloud rolling closer to her.
Isabel sat on his lap and put her hands around his neck. Eli kissed her softly. When they parted she caressed his chest but he caught her hand gently and shook his head.
“I’m a professional, Miss Auburn,” he stopped her.
He instructed her to lie down on the divan sideways, holding her head up with one hand. She smiled shyly and obliged. Then he rolled closer and rearranged her position, moved one ankle slightly forward, spread her hair back and to one side, fixed the angle of her face. She let him move her as if she was a wooden model that could be set in a certain pose. When he finished he wheeled backwards to take a better look. He smiled.
“Ok, now, don’t move,” he said and started drawing.
He touched the contour of her body with his pencil, drawing her silhouette first and then working down to the details, slowly, taking his time with every line and shadow. He had had naked models before, on a few occasions, and he had learnt to control his lust while in their presence, to detach himself from his physical desire and think of the art, mostly not to have a hard on in the middle of art class back in college, which was not at all unusual. Now, here with Isabel, he was literally incapable of having an erection –at least not without external help – and yet he was completely aroused. It was both a physical and a mental state, feeling the sensitivity of his skin heightened, and his thoughts drifting with desire. He forced himself to focus on the page, as the carbon left its black trail, materializing the image. He made several sketches, in complete silence with Isabel’s mesmerizing image in front of him. He only spoke to change her position before drawing her again. Isabel didn’t speak either, she watched him, laying as immobile as possible, until she finally dropped her head down and smiled.
“Can we take a break, Picasso?” she asked.
Eli looked down at his watch. He had been drawing for almost two hours. It had felt like less than one, he was so caught up in the moment.
“I’m sorry, Is,” he apologized. “I didn’t realize how long it was.”
Isabel smiled and got up from the divan. “It’s ok,” she said as she picked up her panties and sled back on them, then she put her blouse on without the bra.
“Can I get you some water?” asked Eli. He was feeling guilty for having kept her posing for so long.
“Thanks, just let me go to the bathroom,” she said and walked out of the room and headed to the restroom in the corridor. Eli thought it wise to do the same and went into his own bathroom to cath.
When he returned he found her standing, barefooted in her panties, grabbing some water. She handed him her glass and Eli drank from it. Then she took it away from him and set it down on the counter. She gave him one of those intense looks of hers before sitting on his lap and kissing him avidly. Eli was turned on too, so he returned her kisses with the same passion, going under her blouse, feeling her body, she took his shirt off and licked his nipples. Then she got up from his lap and kneeled on the floor. She went for the zipper of his jeans. Eli stopped her hand in his. He was breathing heavily, craving with desire. She looked him hard on the eyes, daring him, pulling her hand away and trying again. Eli pushed his rims and backed away.
“I’m sorry, Is. I can’t,” he apologized. He had that prescription from his doctor but he hadn’t stopped by the pharmacy to get it.
“I want to see you,” she said. She was still kneeling down on the floor and she placed her hands over Eli’s legs. He wheeled back again, as if afraid of her.
“Is… I..” he shook his head.
She backed down and watched him for a moment. “It’s ok. It doesn’t have to be now. I can wait until you feel ready.” Now she spoke with less haste.
“I know you need more and I can’t satisfy you in that way. I can’t…” Eli said looking down.
She sat over her heels. “You satisfy me just fine, or haven’t you noticed?” she disagreed.
“I asked my doctor to prescribe me something… so I can…” they’d never actually discussed sex before, so Eli wasn’t sure if she thought he could do it or not. “I can get an erection,” he clarified. “But in order to actually have sex I would need to take something,” he ended the phrase in a very low voice, almost whispering.
“I don’t need sex,” said Isabel roundly. Then she added, speaking with a less aggressive tone. “I would like to, the thought of it turns me on, but I can do without. I know you wouldn’t be able to feel it, and I only want to do it if you’ll enjoy it too, otherwise it’s not important to me. There are many kinds of pleasure and I’m more than satisfied with what you’ve done for me,” she said in a low yet firm tone. Eli stared at her weighting her honesty. “I understand you might not be ready for it yet, and I’m fine with that. You’ve made me feel so much already. We’ll get there when it’s time. But I would like to see you. I don’t want there to be a taboo between us. I know you feel embarrassed but you don’t have to, really. I’m going to like you. I’m going to think you’re sexy.”
“Is, you don’t know… How can you be so sure?” said Eli in a pleading tone.
“Because I love you,” replied Isabel.
She was staring at him with longing eyes, kneeling down, hands on her lap. Eli squinted at her, grasping her words. He rolled closer and grabbed her hands to pull her up into his lap again and then kissed her. She threw her arms around him and held him.
When they parted, Eli looked into her piercing blue eyes. “I love you too,” he said and she smiled. He wheeled them both into the bedroom, throwing his strong arms back and then forward over his rims, while Isabel held on to his neck. He parked in front of the bed and Isabel climbed up on it. Eli caught her legs in his hands and went through the smooth surface of their skin, spreading them before him. He pushed himself forward on his wheelchair to be closer and then gently slid the white lace of her panties down. He pulled her thighs closer, hard, passionately and placed both his hands on her hips to get her in the right position. Then he used his tongue in circles first and then up and down making her moan.
When she finally arched back and covered her mouth with one hand while almost ripping the sheet with the other one, Eli pushed his rims back and around the bed to transfer. He took his shoes off still in the chair and then placed a fist over the mattress and the other one over his chair to swing his lower body onto the bed. He pulled his legs up and rested his back against the headboard. Isabel turned around to look at him and he nodded at her while placing her hand over his zipper again. She crawled over to him and slowly unbuckled his belt, then unbuttoned his jeans and pulled the zipper down. She looked up at his face. Eli was watching her; every muscle he could still move was tense. She started to pull his pants down and Eli lifted himself on his arms slightly to help her. She took his jeans off first, leaving his boxers on, unavailing his bony knees and then his thin, motionless calves. She backed down towards his feet and lifted one sneaker first to take it off and then his sock, using both her hands to hold his foot up. Then she did the same with the other foot and finally took the jeans out altogether. Eli was holding his breath, waiting for her reaction. His skinny legs lying flat over the bed, immobile, his feet exactly where she placed them, his will unable to command them. She put both her hands over his shins and sled them upwards all the way up to his thighs. She grabbed the fabric of his boxers and looked up at him again for approval. Eli nodded despite himself and she proceeded to pull his boxers down. Again he lifted his hips up as much as possible by supporting his weight on his arms and she sled the boxers slowly all the way down to his feet, and lifted them one by one to pull them out.
Now Eli was completely naked before her. His hazel eyes looking down at Isabel, his strong shoulders tense and his big arms stiff, grabbing the mattress, his chest showed define pectorals but then there was a clear line where his muscles relaxed in an obvious manner letting out a tummy. From there his body turned into a flaccid piece of skin and bones that stretched down his groin and then his penis lay lax, indifferent and oblivious of Isabel’s presence. She wrapped it in her hand and rubbed it, slowly, up and down. To Eli’s surprise, it responded, straightening a bit, not quite all the way, but slightly erected. Isabel let go and she sat astride him, her legs on either side of his hips, her back straightened as she pulled her blouse over her head. Eli placed his hands on her buttocks and pulled her towards him. They kissed passionately as she ran her hands over the muscles of his chest and arms and he tucked his hand under her between their two bodies and used his fingers to do what his lower part couldn’t. She was really wet and he felt the inner part of her pussy pounding under his fingers as she came, yet again, with almost no effort from his part. He was going to pull his finger out but she stopped him by holding his wrist down and started swaying her body as she sucked his nipples and then kissed his neck and earlobes. Eli felt her last orgasm as she pressed her naked body against his, both of them sweaty, her breasts rubbing against his chest, his left hand on her buttocks, his right one inside her, as they both moaned in unison.
She fell to the side of the bed, leaving only one leg over him and holding his chest with her hand. Eli held her with his arm and pulled her head to rest over him. They felt their breaths ease in that positions and after a while, Isabel looked up at him, to meet his eyes and spoke softly.
“Thank you, Eli, thank you for trusting me. That was amazing,” she said.
Eli smiled at her and kissed her hair. His mind wanted to question things, doubt her words, tell himself she could not have possibly be turned on by his crippled body, and yet he had felt her pounding, he knew how wet she was, he felt her sweat over him. So he stopped thinking and just held her tighter.
They took a quick nap but then they had to get cleaned up and dressed. It was Christmas and they were spending it with Sarah’s family at New Hampshire, as Eli and Matt had done for the last decade.
“Can we shower together?” Isabel suggested shyly. “Or is it too much for one day?”
Eli smiled. It was definitely a lot for one day, and the thought of it made him anxious. But Isabel’s declaration of love had suddenly made him bold, so he nodded. She got up and waited for him to transfer into his wheelchair, still naked, and then wheel over to the bathroom. Isabel turned the faucet and adjusted the temperature of the water. Then she looked down at him and Eli took a deep breath before transferring into the shower chair. Before his injury, Eli had found showering with a woman one of the sexiest things ever. Now, however, he found it sweet, much like spooning after making love. At first he was nervous and insecure; it felt so weird to let her see him like this. He felt –as she had put it earlier that day – naked. But after a while, as he watched her close her eyes under the water and bend down to reach her legs and feet with the soap, he started to relax. As always, Isabel made no gesture to imply she found him odd in any way. She passed him the soap and washed her hair as Eli scrubbed his body. After rinsing it, she opened her eyes and looked at him with a smile. When he returned it, she sat on his lap and let him rub her back. She kissed him, softly, tenderly and then got up and stood behind him to do the same with his back and shoulders. When they finished, Isabel got out first and handed him a towel. Eli dried himself before transferring back into his wheelchair. They left the bathroom together and Isabel collected her blouse and panties from the bed and then grabbed her little bag.
“Do you want me to wait outside?” she asked him.
Eli pondered over it. He had already let her see him naked and showering, so what if she saw him get dressed? He had to get on the bed and do it there, but really, if she hadn’t gotten freaked out by anything she had seen already, chances were she wouldn’t act weird about this either, so he shook his head at her.
“No. It’s ok. Get dressed here,” he said and Isabel smiled.
He grabbed the clothes he was going to wear to the Christmas party and set them over the bed; then he transferred and lied down. From that position, he put on his boxers and pants, and then he got back into the chair to put his shirt on. Finally, he grabbed his feet and put on his socks and shoes. At the same time, Isabel put on a cute dress and boots. Then she sat at the edge of the bed to do her hair.
When they were both dressed, Eli was actually kind of tired, but he also felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Isabel had seen him naked, showering and then getting dressed, and she was still there, the same smile on her lips, the same affection in her eyes. Not a hint of repulsion in her face, nothing to suggest she felt awkward about his body or the way he did things. Eli rolled over to her and grabbed her hand to pull her to sit down over his lap. She did so and he kissed her deeply, thanking her for her acceptance.
“Wow,” she uttered when they parted. Her eyes were still closed and she savored their kiss by pressing her lips together. “What was that for?” she asked.
Eli shook his head smiling. For not freaking out, for not looking at me like I’m broken, for liking me, for loving me, he said silently in his mind. “I love you,” he said aloud. The words sounded more sincere to him than ever. He had spoken them before, to other women. He hadn’t thought he was lying when he said them back then, to Melany and to his first love, a girl from Maine. Still, now, the feeling was so much more intense.
“I love you too, Eli,” she replied and he felt such ease to be in her arms, such comfort.
To be continued...
To be continued...