Tuesday, July 12, 2016

New Beginnings - Chapter 21

Chapter 21

I walked into the club on Thursday and was happily welcomed back by everyone. I was glad to be back. We were supposed to get busy for the next couple of days because there was a convention in the city and we would probably get people from that.

Thursday was a good night. I caught up with my emails and answered some inquiries from girls looking for jobs. We weren’t hiring at this time though. I also helped behind the bar for a few hours and made sure all our guests were comfortable and enjoyed the show. I felt content at work and amidst all the work I didn’t really have a chance to call Shane and when I thought about it again it was already too late.

Friday morning my priority was to call Shane at work as soon as I was done in the shower. I was sitting over breakfast when I dialed his work number and after just two rings it was answered, “Webber’s construction, this is Cody. How may I help you?”
“Hi there, is Shane available?”
“Actually, Shane is with Mr. Webber at the moment. They’re out in the field. Can I give him a message?”
“Ahem, yeah, I’m Anna, his girlfriend. When would he be back in the office?”
“Hi Anna, Mr. Webber is taking him out to some of our sites today, it’s probably an all-day thing.”
I was a little disappointed, “Oh, I see.”
Cody continued, “I can let him know you called once we’re off. He’s supposed to go to the gym with me today after work.”
“That’s great…so yeah, if you can just let him know that I called.”
“Yeah, sure, I’ll let him know.”

For a moment I thought about what else to say.
I eventually asked, “Ahem, Cody, right?”
“How is Shane doing at work? Since it’s his first week and all. He was kind of nervous about starting a new job.”
Cody sounded friendly, “He’s doing good. He’s catching on quickly. I think Mr. Webber likes him and I get along with him. We do share a common situation with his being paraplegic and all. I’m paraplegic too but I’m in a chair. At least Shane can still walk with the braces. I envy him for that. I’m getting him to go to the gym with me a couple of times a week and I can always take him home afterwards. I think he said he hasn’t been working out a lot and stuff but I wholeheartedly believe in that so I’m trying to get him to go with me regularly. I think it’ll be good for his back and upper body strength. With his lower injury he’s got a lot more to work with than I do.”
“I’m glad you’re taking him with you. It’s been a rough year for him so I’m just a little worried about him.”
Cody sounded very nice, “Believe me, I get it…and he’s only newly injured. I’ve been doing this para thing for a couple of years already. I think he’ll be okay. I’ll drag him along to the gym with me.”
“I really appreciate this Cody.”

“No big deal. I’m all for helping out a fellow para.”
“Thanks so much Cody.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I’ll let him know you called as soon as he comes back in.”
“Yes, I’ll have my cell phone on me as well.”

I finished up with Cody and was somewhat relieved to hear how he seemed to be a nice guy and hopefully would distract Shane somewhat from everything.
I didn’t hear from Shane before I went to work that night. It was Friday and it was busy right away. I changed when I got to the club, I was supposed to be up on stage that night. My show was scheduled for 7:30 and I got up on stage and performed my choreography. I got a lot of cheers and tips thrown up at me. I spotted one of our regulars, Lance, in the front row and he waved at me. I knew he would order a private dance.
I remembered the encounter at the Café when Shane got angry because Lance had come up to me. I pushed my thoughts about Shane aside and focused back on my show.

Soon after I finished my dancing I was back stage and I got the request from Lance for a private dance.
I chose my room and soon thereafter he came in.
He greeted me with a friendly hug, “Hello Anna, I missed you. I’m glad you’re back.”

I smiled at him and we didn’t say anything else as I started dancing for him. He sat in a comfortable lounge chair and I started moving my body in front of him. There was always music in the private rooms. They were nicely decorated and dimly lit. Lance seemed very pleased with what I showed him and he mumbled low comments in between on how hot I was and how sexy and how I knew exactly how to make him happy.

The private dance lasted for about 25 minutes and when I finished he said, “Anna, I would love to buy you a drink if you have a moment. I’ll be sticking around tonight.”
I smiled, “That would be great. Let me see how the rest of the night is going. If I have a chance I’ll make my way over to your table.”
“Sounds great, can’t wait to see you later maybe.”
We hugged and he left the room.

I slipped into my outfit again and draped a silky robe over it. It didn’t take very long and I had another private dance request. A younger man appeared in the room.
He looked shyly at me, “Hi.”
I put on my show, “Hi sweetie, what’s your name?”
“Craig, nice to meet you. Why don’t you have a seat?”
I pointed to the lounge chair Lance had just vacated and Craig seated himself nervously.

I started moving around already and he looked at me with big eyes, “I saw your show outside. You’re really pretty.”
I smiled at him and said lowly, “Thank you Craig. Just relax and enjoy.”

I did my dance for him and I could see he really enjoyed it. I actually saw how his jeans in his crotch filled out suspiciously large.
I just smiled at him. I knew it wasn’t easy sometimes for the men to keep themselves in check and I have seen customers ejaculate in their pants while I danced for them. It was usually a very embarrassing situation for them but I always stayed discreet and didn’t even acknowledge if they had an accident in their pants.
I think Craig was fighting his body very much and seemed almost relieved when I was done.

“Did you enjoy it?”
He gasped, “Yes, very much. It was very hot.”
In addition to the private dance fee he tipped me with a $ 50 bill.
As he left I said, “Hope to see you again sometime Craig.”
I think Craig was ready to get out of there and I smiled, leaning on the door after I closed it behind him.
I slipped my robe on again and took a deep breath.

That night I had two more private dances, I changed clothes on a few occasions and it was just really busy. When I finally sat in my car at almost four that morning I saw three missed calls from Shane on my cell phone. It was too late to call him and I was tired and ready to get home into my bed.
I fell in a deep sleep and was startled when next to my bed my cell phone played its ring tone. I blinked at the clock and it showed Saturday noon.
Sleepily I answered, “Hello?”
“Anna, it’s Shane.”
“Shane, hey baby.”
“Did I wake you up?”
“Yes, but it’s all right. I was going to call you today anyways.”
He sounded somewhat tense, “Well, I didn’t want to wait anymore.”

I sat up in my bed and leaned on the headboard, running my hand through my hair and yawning, “I’m sorry baby. It was super busy last night.”
“I see. I know you called my work place. Cody told me. I tried to call you a few times.”
“I saw that when I got off at three o’clock this morning. How was your day? You made it through the first week.”

He told me about his work day and that he went to the gym with Cody the night before and then also played cards at his house.
“So how is it at the gym?”
“It’s not easy. I haven’t done anything in a while. But it’s probably good if I get into it again.”
“I think it’ll be really good for you. I’m glad you’re going with Cody. He seems like a nice guy from what he sounds like on the phone.”

It was quiet for a moment and he asked, “So, when am I going to see you again?”
“Shane, I’m not sure. Maybe I’ll try to come down next week. It’s been busy at the club. I can’t take off really. I’m thinking about taking off next Sunday and maybe come down then and stay until Monday or Tuesday.”
“Next week? Why can’t you come down on Monday this week?”
“Shane, it’s busy and I’m actually somewhat tired too. I haven’t been at work in a few weeks and I’ve to get used to it again. I think it’ll be okay if we take a break for one week. I’ll get back into my routine, you’ll get settled into your new job.”
“Anna, why don’t you want to see me?”
“I do want to see you. I just felt it was somewhat stressful for me to come down already on Monday with you having to work and all. I think we can handle another week. Maybe you want to go work out with Cody and all that.”
Shane sounded tense, “What the hell Anna? If you come down here, I don’t give a shit about working out or whatever.”

I was somewhat frustrated that Shane already reacted this way and it had only been a few days since we had seen each other last.
The words I spoke then came out of my mouth by surprise, “Shane, a little time going by between seeing each other isn’t going to kill us. We could use a little breather, everything happened so fast between us anyways.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” He was angry now for sure but he made me angry too.
“Stop cursing around like this, I don’t think it’s a big deal if we wait one week until I come down. You need to do your thing down there and I’m doing mine. We’ll see each other again next week.”
“What’s going on with you?”
“Shane, nothing is going on with me, stop this! Yes, I miss you. Hell, you should know that I love you and yes, I’m looking forward to the day we can see each other again. I think about you all day long. But you acting like this isn’t fair.”

He cut me off, “Listen Anna, you know where to find me. You’re in control of when I can see you so whenever it fits in your fucking schedule, hit me up so I can be ready for you.”
I was disappointed at his comments, “Shane, what is….”
I realized then he had hung up on me and I was angry now. I thought about calling him back but then changed my mind. I laid on my bed, stared at the ceiling and thought about what he had said. I felt completely overwhelmed by his reaction and a few tears came out of my eyes. Shane didn’t call me back either.

I couldn’t stop thinking about the conversation and all day doubts kept trying to push through if maybe the whole deal with Shane had been wrong and I shouldn’t have ever let it get so far. If he was that possessive and if he couldn’t handle a week apart I didn’t know how we would make it.
It was Saturday night when I was sitting in my office at work and I dialed Jordan’s house.
Jenny answered, “Hello?”
“Jenny, it’s Anna.”
“Oh hey Anna, how are you?”
“I’m all right. Is Shane there?”
“Actually no, the guys are out at the bar and probably drinking.”
“Is something wrong?”
“I guess you didn’t hear about mine and Shane’s conversation this morning?”
“No, I didn’t. What happened?”
I told her the way Shane had reacted about me not coming down until the following week.

Jenny was on my side but she asked, “So, what are you going to do?”
“I’m trying to come down on Monday or Tuesday then if it’s okay with you?”
“Of course, you can come down anytime, you know it girl.”
Jenny then added warmly, “He overreacted Anna. He’s just really scared to lose you again I think. It’s difficult for him without you. I know he misses you a lot.”
“I know but he needs to be strong for me.”
“I know…I’m on your side Anna. Do you want to call Jordan’s cell? I can’t guarantee though what you’ll get on the other end. I think the plan was to drink tonight. I’ll actually pick the guys up if they’re wasted.”
“I think I’ll call him anyways.”

I had Jordan’s cell phone number and after I finished with Jenny I dialed it.
After a few rings I heard Jordan’s voice, and lots of background noise, “Yelloooowww!”
“Jordan, it’s Anna!”
“Anna, how’s it going?” I could hear that Jordan was feeling good already.
“I’m good. Hey, is Shane around?”

“He is but…we’ve been drinking…he’s had a couple…”
”That’s all right, let me talk to him.”
I heard some rustling noises, music in the background, people laughing and chatting.

“Shane, it’s Anna.”
“Hey, what’s up?”
He sounded like he could care less about me calling.
“Shouldn’t you be at work right now shaking your ass for some guy?”
I took a deep breath, brushing off his comment to the drinking, “I’m at work. I wanted to tell you I’m coming down on Monday.”
“I thought you couldn’t fit me into your schedule anytime soon.”

I could tell he had been drinking, his voice was slurring.
“Well, I’m coming down because I want to see you. I don’t want to fight with you. I’ve to go back to work right now but I just wanted to let you know.”
“Hhm, all right…”
He didn’t say anything else and I added, “Shane, I miss you.”
I didn’t get a reply and I asked, “Are you still there?”
He babbled, “Yes, I miss you like crazy. I feel like total shit and I wish you would be here right now.”
“Shane, you should have fun right now with your brothers.”
“I’m trying. People are looking at me weird. I feel like a freak. A chick came up to me and asked if we could go out back. I told her I had a girlfriend and she said, she didn’t believe me. She tried to come on to me.”
“What did you do?”
“I told her that I can’t fuck her because my dick doesn’t work and the only person that gets close to these fucking braces is my girlfriend. Fuck, I wish you would be here right now…”

I assumed he had been drinking quite a bit already, “Shane, you should lay off on the drinking right now. Maybe it’s time for you guys to go home.”
“Yeah, maybe…”
“Hey, I’ve to go but I’ll call you tomorrow and I’ll come down on Monday, okay?”
“Okay, I can’t wait to see you Anna.”
“Two more days, baby. Please be careful right now and don’t drink too much. I love you!”
“I love you.”

We finished up with our conversation and I was hoping very much that the guys were being somewhat responsible and not going overboard with the drinking. I was relieved that our conversation had stayed somewhat civil but I felt slightly jealous at Shane telling me that a woman came on to him. Then again, it really wasn’t a surprise. He was not bad looking at all and just like for me, his being in the leg braces probably intrigued some women and they wanted a piece of him and test out the water. Yeah, I needed to get down there and keep him in check.

I went back to work. I had to go up on stage again that night. I had three private dance requests and I ended up sitting with a couple of important local business men who had come to visit us. The conversations were good, the drinks and tips kept coming and time just flew by. Ray had joined the table for a while chatting with the men. He was after all a local business man as well and our club was one of the top spots in the nightlife entertainment of the city. At the same time Ray was always on the lookout so nothing inappropriate would happen to us girls. It was a good evening.

On my way home that morning I felt content. I had made about $ 300 just in tips that night. I was tired and I thought about Shane. I was hoping he was okay. I thought about our conversation and how he had been angry. I knew he was only worried, worried that I would not come for him anymore. I knew if that would be the case it would bring him down all the way. Just thinking about these things I couldn’t help feeling almost an overwhelming burden I had taken on with Shane. He had drawn me in completely and I felt somewhat responsible for his well-being and I didn’t think it was a good thing that I felt this way. I loved him and I knew he deserved to be happy after everything he had been through in his life but I also couldn’t forget about myself. I wanted to be happy too. I drove home lost in thoughts about Shane and my future with him.

Sunday was another busy night at the club but everything went well. I ended up doing some administrative duties looking through some catalogues for some new club furniture and making notes of items I thought would be great in the club. I would sit down with Nadine and Ray eventually and talk it over with them. I also ordered some gorgeous robes for the girls. Nadine hung out in my office for a while and we talked about Shane and everything. I told her about our situation and how he had been angry.

Nadine sighed, “I know you care a lot about this boy but don’t forget yourself over him.”
I nodded, “I know, I worry about things and how it’ll all go but you’re right, I can’t forget about myself. Shane is still dealing with a lot of stuff and even though I want to be there for him I know he has to do his part too.”
We ended up talking some more and Nadine was supportive either way but in the end it came down to me and Shane figuring it all out together.
I left early that night and was in my car on my way home at two in the morning.


Monday I left to Morgan City about four that afternoon. I had called Jenny to let her know I was coming down. Traffic was not bad and I cruised along I-10 until I got off at Highway 90. In Morgan City I found my way through town and back to Jordan’s house.

When I drove down the gravel path to the trailer I saw Jordan’s truck and Jenny’s car parked out front. As I parked next to their vehicles, the front door opened and Jordan peeked out.
I got out and he waved at me, “Hey Anna.”
Jenny appeared next to him, “Hey girl, you found it again.”
I laughed and walked up to the front door.
Jenny and Jordan greeted me with a hug and Jordan said, “Good to see you again Anna.”
The boys came out curious to see who was visting, “It’s Uncle Shane’s wife!”
Jenny laughed, “Anna and Shane are not married, Anna is Uncle Shane’s girlfriend.”
The boys shrugged their shoulders and greeted me quickly, then they ran back into the house.
It was after five and Jenny explained, “So Shane isn’t home yet.”
I smiled, “That’s all right.”

We walked inside and I took a seat at the kitchen table with Jordan sitting down next to me.
Jenny set a mug in front of me, “Coffee?”
“Oh yes, that would be great.”
It smelled like food in the house and Jenny added, “We haven’t had dinner yet, still waiting on Shane to get home. You came at the perfect time.”
She then sat down next to her husband and Jordan asked me, “So how was your week Anna?”
“Oh, it’s been good and busy. How’s Shane been back here?”
Jordan smiled, “He’s doing okay I guess. I think it’s just hard for him to be here without you. On Saturday night he got wasted. I tried to stop him somewhat from overdoing it but he just went at it. He slept almost all day yesterday. I think his legs were giving him problems with cramps or whatever it is he’s dealing with sometimes.”

I corrected, “Spasms probably.’
Jordan nodded, “Yeah, that’s the word…spasms. I guess since he had been drinking he couldn’t really take his medication. So we didn’t really see much of him yesterday. He stayed pretty much in his room and only came out for dinner, right babe?”
He looked at Jenny and she nodded in confirmation, “Yeah, he definitely overdid it Saturday. I got on to Jordan already to not let him drink that much next time but of course this one here was kind of wasted too.”
She punched Jordan’s shoulder and he complained, “Ouch…that hurt.”
Jenny rolled her eyes, “Whatever!”

We heard a car outside and the dogs barking and Jenny stated, “That’s probably him. He’s been catching a ride with the guy he works with, Cody. I guess he lives on the way and that way Shane doesn’t have to wait for Scott to bring him home. Sometimes Scott works later than Shane.”
I got up and opened the door to look out. Shane was getting out of a dark blue BMW.
At the same time the driver of the car let down his window and called over to me, “Hi.”

I smiled at him and Shane who was in the process of getting out of the car had realized I was up on the front porch. He glanced up and smiled at me shyly. His dark bangs were hanging into his face as he kept his eyes on the ground to get a good stance. I then saw how he grabbed the crutches and also had some flowers in his hand at the same time, trying to somehow hold them awkwardly.
I called over, “Hey baby!”
The guy in the driver’s side asked Shane, “Are you making it, bro?”

Shane nodded and shut the door, turning to walk toward the trailer. He looked up at me as I jumped down the few steps to intercept him and also help him with the flowers.
“Anna, hey.”
He stopped close to the driver’s side and waited for me to get there. His eyes were literally shining at seeing me and he smiled.

I kissed him quickly on the lips and before anything else Shane turned to the driver, “Anna, this is Cody. I work with him. Cody, this is my girlfriend Anna.”
Cody reached his hand out the window and smiled at me, “Hi Anna, nice to meet you. We’ve talked on the phone already.”
I shook his hand, “Hi Cody.”

Cody added, “He was excited all day.”
I smiled and stood next to Shane, “Good. I hope he did his job though.”
Cody laughed, “Yeah, he’s doing good.”
He then tapped the outside of his driver’s side door and added, “All right, man…I’m out of here. I’ll see you in the morning. Stay out of trouble.”
Shane nodded at Cody, “See you tomorrow, thanks.”
“No problem. Laters. It was nice meeting you Anna.”

I smiled and waved once more as Cody backed his car out and drove off.
Shane then turned to me and he smiled, “Hey.”
He then looked at the flowers he was still holding between his hand and his crutch handle, “These are for you. You may want to grab them before I mess ‘em all the way up.”
I took them from his grip, “They’re beautiful. Thanks baby.”

I scanned him up and down for a moment and I was overcome by a rush of emotions for him. It felt like I hadn’t seen him in ages. He had this humble, shy look about him still, his dark brown eyes shining and his dark hair falling somewhat into his forehead, both hands holding the handles of his black forearm crutches and standing there in his leg braces over his jeans as usual. My heart was beating like crazy just looking at him and reminding myself that this was my boyfriend and I was so happy about it. I did realize how much I had really missed him.

I stretched my face to him and we kissed once more, then Shane kept his gaze on me, “I’m happy to see you.”
“I missed you Shane.”

We made our way to the trailer and Shane made it up the steps with the usual complications but I couldn’t help watching him as he moved his legs up the steps fully concentrating on the task as not to fall.
In the house Jordan and Jenny greeted Shane and Jenny added, “Perfect timing, dinner is done.”

Shane made his way to the kitchen table and let himself down onto his chair. He took his backpack off and somewhat tossed it over out of the way. I sat down next to him while Jenny set the table and called out to her kids.
Shane looked at me and I placed my hand on his thigh cuff. He glanced down on my hand and nodded with a grin when he looked back at me.
Lowly he hushed, “Did you miss ‘em?”
I smiled and nodded, biting my lip.

Eventually everyone sat around the table and Jenny was passing out the food. Jordan asked Shane about his day and they talked about work for a moment. I felt almost like I was on a first date with Shane and like I hadn’t seen him in forever.
After dinner Shane and I went outside and sat on the swing on the back porch. He unlocked his braces and with the swing moving slowly his feet in their boots dragged on the ground. He leaned his crutches on the porch rail.
I snuggled closer to him, “You’re quiet.”
He looked at me, “Sorry, I’m just happy you’re here. It feels like it’s been forever.”
“It’s only been a week but I felt I needed to come down here.”
Shane nodded and apologized lowly, “I’m sorry about Saturday, I acted like an ass. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“It’s all right, I get it. That’s why I’m here. I need to set you straight.”

Shane took my hand in his.
I asked, “So how’s everything going at your job?”
He answered, “I’m doing all right I think. I get along with Cody, he’s an all right dude. He’s teaching me all the stuff at work and we talk about other stuff too. I went to the gym with him twice last week. I just miss being with you. I wish I could come home to you every night. I mean everyone is here, Jordan and his family, Scotty and his bunch…Cody has a wife. Everyone’s got someone you know.”
I looked down, then looked back up at him, “Shane, baby…I’m here now. I know it’s not easy for you, but I also know that you can do this.”
He sighed and then asked lowly, “Did you really miss me?”
I thought for a moment. I knew the separation was a lot harder for him than it was for me.
“I did miss you a lot but I stayed very busy all week and the weekend. Then usually after work I’m so tired and I fall asleep quickly, then get up the next day and go back to the club. But I did miss you a lot Shane.”
“I wish I could be with you on the weekends at least. I mean I would be okay by myself with you at work but at least I would be sleeping next to you at night. Last weekend just sucked…”

He told me he was at Cody’s house on Friday night playing cards but all the guys had their girlfriends or wives there. Then on Saturday we had the argument and he was depressed all day and got wasted at night. Sunday he stayed in bed all day because his legs were bothering him so much that he couldn’t really walk around a whole lot. I softly stroked his hand while he was talking.

“Then when we had the conversation on the phone and you said you needed a breather…”
He stopped and looked down at our hands.

He looked back up at me, “Anna, I know it’s all been so fast, but it all came over me like a hurricane and I need you more than you know.”
He sounded desperate and I heard the fear in his voice, “Please don’t leave me hanging Anna. I didn’t mean to get all stupid on the phone but I kind of freaked out when you said you needed a break or something…I’m sorry for all the things I said.”
His dark eyes were drilling into me and I replied lowly, “Shane, I won’t leave you…I love you.”
“You’re so much stronger than I am Anna.”
“Shane, you can do this, you have to be strong for me okay.”
He said lowly, “It’s so freaking hard…I have barely any mental strength left. I’m really trying to do this whole long distance thing and I’m sorry I’m so clingy and all…I just don’t know if I can pull it off, I’m so tired of constantly struggling.”
He hung his head and I rubbed my hand over his back, “I’m here Shane, you’re just exhausted. Your new job and all, you’re just tired.”

He didn’t say anything but I felt he had a very hard time and deep inside I was worried if he could pull through with all of it. I remembered his nights from when I was here the week before and asked him, “Shane, have you been sleeping all right?”
He tensed up at the question and he took a deep breath.
I stated “You’re still having bad dreams, right?”
He sat still but answered lowly, “Every night.”
I was concerned, “What are you actually dreaming about?”
He shrugged his shoulders, “I’m not exactly sure…really everything…”

I really didn’t know what to say or how to help him. More and more I realized that Shane was still dealing with everything that happened in his life He had never been through any kind of counseling so just from my own experience I knew he suffered from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. His childhood, his time in prison, the accident and losing his brother, it was really no surprise.
I was sad that my visit had not made him happy in a carefree way but instead had triggered all these emotions again. Obviously Shane wasn’t doing well psychologically and I really wanted to help him but I didn’t know how. It was obvious he was having a much harder time with everything than I did.
We sat for a few moments until Shane suggested, “You want to get out of here for a bit?”
“You’re not too tired.”
“I’ll be all right. Let’s go for a ride.”
I nodded, “All right. Let me get my purse and stuff.”
Shane pulled himself up, “I’ve to go to the bathroom before we go.”

We went in and told Jordan and Jenny that we were going for a ride. Shane made his way to the bathroom and I grabbed our stuff and went back outside. I waited on the porch for Shane, Jenny had a cigarette next to me and we talked for a few minutes until Shane came out.

We ended up driving down to Lake End Park, right by the water with view of the port and all the bridges crossing the canals. Shrimping boats were coming back in from their day.
Shane and I made it to a large oak tree and I looked at him, “Where do you want to sit?”
He looked down, “On the grass.”
“How are you getting down?”
“Do you think you can help me?”

I ended up wrapping my arms around Shane from the back and helped him get down. I had to take some heavy breaths and in the end I somewhat let him plop down and he braced himself with his hands. He pulled himself up to the large tree trunk and leaned on it. His crutches were lying next to him in the grass. I sat down next to him and snuggled up to him, he pulled me close.
I remarked, “This is a nice park.”
I looked at Shane’s legs, stretched out in front of him, “How are your legs?”
He sighed, “Same ole’ crap, spasms, back pain and exhausting.”

I placed my hand on his thigh cuff, “Well, if it helps…you’re still fucking hot in your braces…”
He laughed lowly, “Thanks, that helps a lot.”
We just sat there, cuddling silently. It felt good in his arms.

He asked me about my work, “So how was your work these last few days?”
I told him how busy we had been and what all I had been doing. I didn’t talk about any private dances and I didn’t go into details about my dancing on stage.
He sounded tense when he asked, “So how many dudes paid for a private dance?”
“Does it really matter Shane?”
He sighed, “So, it was a lot…”

I added, “Well, if you really want to know…I made almost 1000 bucks in tips this past weekend.”
He laughed lowly, “Shit…”
I added quickly, “And it’s all going into savings…for us.”
“I’ll barely make that much in a month.”
“Don’t worry about that Shane. You’ve got a job and that’s all that matters.”

I really didn’t want to talk about this any further with him because I knew it made him feel bad.

We sat again for a little while, just quiet. I felt his breathing slow, his body was warm and I slid my hand under his T-Shirt. I felt his stomach muscles with my hand. He leaned his head back on the tree and let me stroke him underneath his T-Shirt.

I felt his pecs flex under my fingers and my breathing came quicker. He pulled me closer and kissed me hard. His grip was tight around my waist as he pulled me over onto his thighs. Our kissing became more intense as he grabbed the back of my head and pulled me to his face again and kissed me demanding. I was wearing a skirt and I felt his braces on my naked thighs and butt cheeks.
Twilight was slowly creeping in and there was no one else around. I pulled Shane’s T-Shirt over his head. I was once again very much drawn to him and his body, the tattoos on his chest, his pecs visible with every movement. His arms were well developed with constantly using his strength to hold himself up and walk with the crutches.
I felt Shane pull me to him, his hands wrapped around my lower back. I ran my hands through his hair and then pressed my lips onto his again.
Between kissing he mumbled, “I missed you so damn much Anna.”

His breathing came quicker. I felt his leg braces on my legs and just thinking about his legs aroused me tremendously. Shane’s hands were busy exploring under my shirt now. I felt his hands on my breasts as he kneaded them gently and kissed my neck, breathing quickly. His hands travelled down to my waist and he pushed my skirt up some and was able to reach my thighs. His fingers ran along the inside of my thighs and even though it tickled some he drove me crazy. I let my head hang back some and just took in Shane’s touching. He reached my panties and I felt him rub along my pussy with the panties being the only barrier. His mouth was latched on to my neck and I felt him suckle and nibble on my ear. I let my hands touch his legs some and felt the leather cuffs around his thighs.
I hushed, “Shane, you drive me crazy.”

Shane’s lips unlocked from my neck for a moment and he looked around the park nervously. There was no one close by and the darkness was setting in, crickets chirping around us and the boats in the harbor blowing their horns.
Shane focused back on me and pulled me to him again, saying lowly, “I missed you so much. Let me make love to you Anna. I want to taste you again.”
Looking around once more I stood up and slipped out of my shoes and let my panties slide down. Shane helped me step out of them and I was surprised when he actually put them to his face and sniffed them.
I laughed lowly, “Baby…really?”
He looked up at me with a grin, “Smells wonderful.”

His hands then travelled up and down my legs and he just gazed up at me. He then leaned forward some and I stepped closer so he could kiss my legs. His tongue flicked over my thighs and to the inside of them. I felt a shiver go over my legs. Shane’s hands were on my ass holding on and pulling me to him.
I heard him take a deep breath and he pulled me even closer and he mumbled, “Let me get some of your sweetness.”

I put my hands to the tree trunk and held myself steady, my legs spread over Shane and his mouth closed in on my pussy. He shifted some and I felt his hands on my naked ass under my skirt. Before he could get all the way up to my pussy I stepped back some and it surprised him.
He looked up at me as his hands lost their grip to my ass, “Where you going?”
I smiled, “Nowhere, just stepping back so I can get a good look at you.”

His one hand dropped onto his belly and with the other he held himself steady. I lifted my naked foot and softly pushed my toes to his naked chest, letting them dribble around his pecs and down to his belly.

Shane softly stroked my leg watching how I touched my foot to his body. I let my foot slide down to his jeans waistband and with a quick slide by in his crotch where everything was soft and still I let my foot run over his braces. I felt around the cuffs with my toes, pushed my toes under some and then brought them back out. Shane just sat there watching me play around with my feet on his braces.
When I met his eyes, he smiled, “What are you doing?”
“Getting soaking wet.”
He laughed and said lowly, “I want some of that wetness.”

I laughed and instead of moving my pussy back up to his face, I squatted down and took his left leg in between my legs, sliding my feet under it and basically sitting right with my pussy on his braced leg. Shane now had his hands on either side of his hips in the grass just holding himself there and watching me as I touched my pussy to his braced leg and the moment the leather touched my swollen pussy lips I had to take quick breaths at the sudden arousal. I was rubbing my pussy on his leg and when I looked at him he had his head leaning back on the tree and I saw his chest rise up and down quickly.
I hushed, “Your brace is going to smell like my pussy.”
Shane laughed lowly and shook his head slightly, “Damn Anna…”
I did this for a few moments and I could feel my arousal increase by the second, I could have made myself come on his braced leg but I didn’t want to leave him hanging and Shane eventually said, “Get up here and let me get some pussy. I’m hungry.”

I laughed and unlocked my feet from his leg again. I stood back up and stepped back up to him. His hands were on my ass right away and this time he didn’t mess around. He went right for my soaked pussy. I braced my stance again with my hands on the tree and Shane started working my pussy with his mouth and fingers. He licked and suckled on my swollen lips and he pulled me closer some more and I could feel his tongue right around my wet opening. I even heard the moisture as Shane suckled some of it and I heard his breathing quick and audible. His hands had a strong grip on my ass, no chance of me getting away again.
He mumbled in between working my pussy, “You thought you can just fuck my braced leg and come without letting me have some pussy…”

The words made me get close to my climax and I moaned over Shane. He pushed his tongue in again and his finger played around my clit. My hands pushed harder against the tree trunk as I felt his tongue slide in and out of my pussy and I flexed the muscles of my opening around his quick tongue.
I pressed my lips together trying to draw out the moments for a bit longer but Shane just kept working it and when he said, “You let me get pussy first before you get to drip all over my legs.”

That did me in and a few more tongue thrusts sent a storm of nerves racing through my body. I had to make sure my knees didn’t buckle as I felt a sudden onset of total weakness with my orgasm radiating through me. Shane at the same time was latched on to my lower regions and he moaned into my skin while working it. I let out a small cry and I heard him groan and moan down there and his fingers dug so hard into my ass cheek that it hurt.
“Oh….my….gosh Shane…”

Shane was breathing heavy and I eventually felt his grip loosen on my ass and I wanted to sit down, my legs were shaking now, my knees were weak.
“I need to sit down on your lap.”
He only brought a low, “Yes,” over his lips. I let myself down and almost fell as I was so weak in my legs. I let myself down on his thighs again and Shane rested his head on my chest and I felt his breathing still.
I let my hands run through his hair, “You okay?”
He nodded without saying anything, his arms were wrapped around me, holding me to him or holding on to me, I really didn’t know.
When he didn’t say anything I moved away some and he lifted his head off me and leaned it back on the tree trunk and just looked at me. His dark eyes were shiny in the twilight, the nearby lantern reflecting in his pupils.
His face looked moist and I leaned forward some, “Shane, baby…are you all right?”
He nodded and said lowly, “Yes.”

I then took the hand he had worked my pussy with and brought his fingers up to my mouth and one by one I took his fingers in my mouth and sucked off my flavors.
He just sat there, his chest was still moving up and down rapidly. His expression turned into a smile, and then into a grin watching me lick his fingers.
I smiled and in between licking I mumbled, “Your fingers are amazing and your tongue is magical.”
He laughed and looked down some. God, he was so sexy laughing and almost like he was embarrassed at the compliment.

When I was done we just looked at each other for a moment and Shane softly just stroked over my cheek, “Anna, you’re the best thing I’ve ever had in my life. I don’t want to live without you anymore. A while ago…” He paused and took a deep breath, then continued, “A while ago when I was down there eating you out, my head was spinning and it was, I don’t know…it was probably the closest I’ve been to actually feeling like I came since my…since it doesn’t work anymore. When you came I tasted your orgasm and it felt so awesome and even though I….wished so much I could feel it myself again it was almost as good, feeling you and tasting you and knowing how I made you feel, it made me feel really good Anna. I want this always, all the time.”
He looked tired and his hand softly ran down my cheek and neck and ended in his lap where he played with my skirt.

I moved closer to him and stroked his moist hair from his face and let my hand run over his cheek, saying lowly, “Shane, no guy has ever made me feel like you do. You bring out something in me I can’t explain. You’re amazing and you’re so hot and I want to be yours for a long time.”
He nodded and replied, “I won’t go away ever. I will be around as long as you have me which I hope is forever. I love you so much it hurts.”
I smiled at him and looked into his eyes, “I love you so very much too. You’re so special to me Shane. I don’t know how I could have been so lucky to have met you.”

We kissed with my faint scent lingering between us but somehow feeling like it was the connection that made up for actual sex. We definitely did have sex. It might have been different but it was all we needed. More and more it felt like Shane and I were meant to be and I just knew we had some kind of special bond. Looking at him and into his eyes it seemed almost like I had been waiting my whole life to look into those eyes and to be with him exactly the man he was now. I was who he needed and he was who I needed and no matter what, our connection was a done deal and it would never go away.  

That night we were both in bed, lying next to each other, I was snuggled up in Shane’s arms, a dim lamp on next to us on the bedside table.
The couple of hours we had shared had gone by so quickly and now Shane asked me, “So, are you going back to New Orleans tomorrow again?”
I answered lowly, “I don’t know. How do you feel about it?”
When I looked at him his eyes were dark and shiny, “You know if you ask me, I would never want you to leave ever.”
I smiled, “Of course, I don’t know why I asked.”
He ran his fingers through my hair, “Stay…at least until Wednesday morning. You can hang out with Jenny tomorrow while I’m at work.”
I sighed, “Okay, I’ll leave Wednesday morning then.”
He kissed me obviously relieved, “Thanks Anna.”

We laid together and I felt the warmth radiate from Shane’s body. His breathing eventually came soft and regular and when I glanced at him I saw he had fallen asleep.

It was in the middle of the night when I was rudely awakened by Shane suddenly moving and bumping into me. I was startled and sat up looking at him. His eyes were closed, his breathing came fast, his face and chest looked moist, and his hands were digging into the sheet holding on to it tightly. He seemed like in a panic and his hands then flew up and he seemed like he was grabbing something invisible in the air.

I turned on the bedside lamp and said lowly, “Shane, wake up, baby. You’re dreaming…Shane.”
He opened his eyes and his gaze was jaded and his dark eyes tried to focus on my face.
When he spoke I realized he wasn’t really awake, “Don’t make me go…please…”
I held his arms down by his side and looked at him, “Shane, baby, it’s me, Anna. Wake up baby.”
His breathing came in gasps, I felt his body shiver, “Please don’t make me go…”
I now shook him softly, “Shane?”

I saw a tear roll out of the corner of his eye, down the side of his face and disappearing into his dark hair. Shane laid still now, his arms under my hands loosened now, he didn’t try to fight me anymore. His chest was moving up and down quickly though.
“Shane, baby, can you hear me?”
Very slowly he moved his head in a nod. His face was moist from sweat. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.  
He kept his eyes on me and said in a whisper, “That shed…”
Another tears rolled down his face.
“What shed?”
“By the house where I grew up.”
I stroked my hand over his cheek, “What are you talking about Shane?”

He didn’t answer but pulled me down to him and wrapped his arms around me. I laid down with him and held him close to me. His face was buried in my hair. I felt his body tremble.
He muffled into my hair, “I don’t want to dream about this shit anymore.”
“What is it you’re dreaming of?”
He still didn’t look up, “Stuff from when I was a kid.”
“How long has this been going on?”
“Since I can remember…some nights are worse than others.”
I asked lowly, “Did you have it in prison too or in the hospital?”
He nodded.
“Did they help you with it?”
Now he shook his head, “Not really, just meds or solitary.”
I stroked my fingers over his back and he added, “I don’t want Jordan to know.”
I replied softly, “But maybe we should figure out something that can help you.”
Shane’s body felt cool and damp now from the sweat he had broken out into.
He whispered, “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to bother you with it.”
“Don’t worry about it. We’ll talk about it tomorrow. We should sleep now.”

We held each other in an embrace and fell asleep again.  


  1. I knew he'd be like that about her not coming down. He's still got stuff. Nice chapter, can't wait for the next one.

    1. Thanks so much for reading and commenting tc, yeah, definitely stuff going on...:-)

  2. I love how you slowly reveal your characters. Great job!

  3. Heartbreak! You sure know how to build up the emotion. I hope they have a plan to be together soon. They deserve it!

    1. I realize there are not too many happy moments, I keep thinking to myself how it's all so sad and I appreciate everyone who still reads along and is okay with the heartbreak, thanks so much for reading and commenting