Nothing happened for the remainder of the week. I heard from Jenny or Jordan every night and they updated me on Shane. Not much changed. He was still sedated somewhat because every time he came to, he was violent and aggressive. He refused to eat and drink and with that they kept him on IV fluids. Jordan told me that they had attempted to get him out of restraints but he then tried to pull out his IV’s and he tried to fight off the staff. So for now he was still restrained in a room and separate from the other patients. More and more I felt the urge that I needed to see my boyfriend. He probably felt abandoned by us, I needed to see him soon.
My weekend went by and work was really the only thing that kept me from thinking about Shane too much. It almost drove me crazy to think of him in the Psych unit and I wanted to be there for him so badly.
On Monday night Jordan called me and informed me that we were still not allowed to see Shane and his stay in the unit was extended for at least another week. I felt absolutely helpless and was devastated at not being able to be there for Shane.
Tuesday was the day I drove up to Ponchatoula to see Cindy and Al and also bury Jay’s ashes. The marble urn with Jay’s remains was on the passenger seat and I had made sure it was secured on the seat. I made my way out of Metairie and headed for the Pontchartrain Causeway.
I glanced over to the urn and said softly, “Jay, here is your last ride over the Causeway.”
I had music playing on the radio. It was Jay’s favorite radio station, we had it on every time he rode with me. They played a variety of 80’s and 90’s Pop and Hip Hop. He had really loved the 80’s music. During the 80’s Jay had been a teenager and it had always been his favorite. My hair was flowing around my face since I had my window rolled down. The scent of water lingered in the air and the heat pushed its way into my car but I didn’t want to turn on the air conditioner, I wanted to smell the air and feel the heat.
As I was driving I thought of Shane and wondered how he was doing. He really was on my mind every moment of the day and I really didn’t know how things were going to be with us anymore.
I started thinking out loud and was talking to myself but somehow switched my conversation like I was talking to my brother. All kinds of words came tumbling out of me and I basically told Jay everything that had been going on with me and Shane.
I forgot that Jay was just in an urn next to me and when I glanced over at the passenger seat I swear I saw Jay sitting there, smiling at me in understanding and I heard his words echo in my mind, “Shane is good for you. Give him a fair chance. Will help you.”
These were the words he had written down on a piece of paper in the hospital shortly before he had passed away and after I had told him about Shane.It all seemed so long ago but it really had only been a few weeks.
I repeated to myself, “Shane is good for me.”
At this time I really wasn’t sure anymore if Shane was good for me. He seemed to cause me more grief that anything else. I missed him so much and I worried about him even more.
I made it to my foster home and Al and Cindy intercepted me in the driveway. We hugged and Al ended up getting the urn out of the car. Quietly Cindy and I went inside behind Al as he carefully carried the urn into the house. Inside he set it on a cabinet in the living room right next to a large framed photo of Jay. Cindy stood there and let her hands run over the urn and she cried some tears, Al stood behind her and had his hands on her shoulders. I watched my foster parents quietly as they remembered and cried over Jay.
After a few minutes they turned around and I fell into Cindy’s open arms.
Al remarked, “Father Michael will meet us at the church at three.”
We had some time and had lunch together and talked. I ended up telling them about Shane and what had happened.
Cindy looked at me wearily, “Anna, I’m so sorry but I just hope you’re going to be okay with Shane. It seems he has a lot of things going on still. We’re worried but I’m sure you know what’s best.”
I confirmed to them that Shane was important to me and that I loved him very much.
Cindy ended with, “We’re going to pray for him and you. Everything will work out.”
The meeting with Father Michael was pleasant. He knew me and Jay from when we were young kids and now he had the urn in front of the church on a small podium and we sat in the front pew and listened as he prayed for Jay and for us and as he remembered him.
After the prayers we processioned out of the church with Father Michael in front holding the urn. We made it to the columbarium that houses the urns in it. We had bought a spot in the wall for Jay and it was now an opening ready for Jay’s remains to be put into.
We had some flowers and I had also brought a picture of me and Jay. Father Michael ceremonially placed the urn into its new home and he said another prayer. We stood by and prayed with our heads bowed. Cindy cried a little but surprisingly I held up well. I set the picture of us inside there with the urn. Cindy also placed the flowers inside and then let the cemetery workers close the plot with the square concrete plate that had Jay’s name and dates chiseled into it:
Jay Ashworth, Born 2/5/1971, Died 7/25/2006, May He Rest In Peace And Live In Everlasting Communion With All The Angels And Saints.
There was a metal contraption on the outside of the plate that could hold flowers and in that one I set the flowers I had brought. I kept my hands on the wall for a moment and just closed my eyes thinking about Jay and quietly sent another prayer for him. Cindy and Al came up behind me and both placed their hands on my shoulders and we stood like this for a few more minutes. Father Michael stood back some and watched us.
With a sigh I then disconnected my hands from the wall and turned around. We hugged again, Father Michael hugged us and smiled warmly and without saying anything we all walked back through the cemetery and toward the church.
In front of the church we talked for a little while and eventually we were in Al’s car driving back to the house. I stayed with Al and Cindy until the evening. We looked at some old pictures of Jay and me and cried some more and talked about things we remembered about Jay. We also laughed some and when I drove home at night I had my radio blasting with Jay’s favorite station again and the window down blowing my hair around my head again. It was a clear and hot night, countless stars shone bright on the horizon as I let my eyes travel over Lake Pontchartrain and remembered my brother and finally was now able to let him all the way go.
As I neared the other end of the bridge the lights of the city cast a red and orange glow over New Orleans in the distance.
Shane had been in the Psychiatry unit for another week when on the following Tuesday Jordan called me again as he had done every night, “Anna, Jordan here.”“Hey Jordan.”
“How are you?”
“I’m all right, and you?”
“I’m okay. So I have some news; we can see Shane tomorrow. I guess he has been doing somewhat better and Dr. Pearson said we can visit with him tomorrow for a little while, after two o’clock. Shane had requested to only see me and you.”
“I’m coming down.”
We ended with the understanding that I would meet Jordan at the hospital the next day.
Wednesday I was nervous when I left for Morgan City around one o’clock. I pulled into the hospital parking lot shortly after two. Jordan was going to meet me there. He texted me at a quarter to three writing he was on his way. I was sitting in the main lobby of the hospital having a cup of coffee.
Jordan met me in the lobby and we hugged tightly.“It’s good to see you Anna.”
“You too Jordan.”
“Are you ready to see him?”
We made our way to the Psychiatry unit and arrived at the reception desk there.Jordan took the word as a receptionist greeted us warmly.
“We’re here to see Shane Lenalier.”
“Oh, okay, let me check you in and I’ll let the nurse know.”
The receptionist asked us for our ID’s and we had to sign a waiver that the staff could terminate the visit at any time if there was a need. I hoped very much there wouldn’t be a reason to cut the visit short. We also had to go through a metal detector and I had to leave my purse with the receptionist. We were then led to a larger room with a table, a couch, some armchairs and a standing lamp in the corner. We were asked to take a seat and wait for Shane. When I looked up I saw two cameras in two corners of the room.
I was even more nervous now, my whole body was trembling and I felt sweaty. Jordan looked at me nervously and smiled trying to ease the tension. It didn’t work.
It knocked and the door was opened and a nurse appeared with a smile, “Hi folks, are you Shane’s brother and girlfriend?”Jordan sat up some, “Yes ma’am.”
She stepped in and behind her appeared a wheelchair and in it was Shane pushing its rims and rolling into the room. I felt absolutely anxious now at the strange sight and at seeing Shane.
It wasn’t a bulky hospital wheelchair but a somewhat decent model, not new but not ugly with a black frame.
The nurse stood by the door as Shane wheeled by her. He didn’t look up but was apparently focused on pushing the rims and wheeling into the room.He stopped in the room and the nurse said friendly, “I’ll give ya’ll some privacy. Enjoy your visit.”
As she walked out and closed the door behind her, Shane looked up. I was sitting on the couch feeling like I was paralyzed myself. I had no idea in what mood Shane was and if he was actually happy to see us.
I met his eyes and I realized that he looked tired.My body relaxed and I got up insecurely and said lowly, “Shane…hi.”
He didn’t say anything but instead held his arms out and I recognized it was the invitation to hug him. I walked over to him, leaning down and when for a moment we locked eyes, I felt my eyes get blurry and I fell into his arms. He held me tightly to him not saying anything.
In his embrace I mumbled, “Shane, baby, I’m so happy to see you.”
I could barely talk and I felt Shane’s body tremble against mine. Jordan stood somewhere behind us, I couldn’t see him.
Shane held me for a long time and even when I loosened my grip he didn’t loosen his. We stayed like this for a few more moments until Shane finally released his embrace. When I stood up he didn’t look at me, instead his head hung and he wiped over his face.
Jordan came over, “Shane, bro, hey. I’m so happy to see you.”
I let Shane greet and hug Jordan now. Once they let go Shane still didn’t look up. I cried and I really didn’t know how to act and what to say.
I let Shane greet and hug Jordan now. Once they let go Shane still didn’t look up. I cried and I really didn’t know how to act and what to say.
At the same time seeing Shane in a wheelchair was triggering emotions of a whole other kind. He wore maroon hospital scrubs and just hospital socks with the rubber sole on it. His feet were sitting side by side on the single foot rest of the wheelchair. It didn’t have any armrests but Shane’s hands could directly reach the push rims. The backrest was about to his mid back.
I asked lowly, “Shane, where are your braces?”He now moved his eyes up to me and they were dark and glistening with moisture.
Lowly he answered, “I don’t know. They have them somewhere.”
Jordan said, “Come closer.”
He patted the couch next to where he was sitting now.
Shane actually pushed himself over but not to where Jordan was patting the couch but to my side of the table. I stepped back and sat down again. He came rolling up and stopped right in front of me.Jordan scooted over closer to where I was sitting.
I reached over and took Shane’s hands in mine.
They were cold and I felt them shake in mine, “Shane, I’m so happy to see you. I missed you so much.”
His face was slightly moist. He looked like he was freshly shaven but his hair hung stringy around his head, stroked back only with his hand to stay somewhat out of his face.
He nodded slowly, “I missed you too.”
I didn’t know what else to say but Jordan took the word, “Shane, we all miss you. How are you?”
Shane looked down at our hands and started lowly, “I don’t know. Okay I guess.”
I squeezed his hands, “Shane, I love you.”
He looked back at me, “I love you too. I miss you so much. I want to go home.”
I tried to keep my composure, “I’m sure it’ll be soon.”
He swallowed and said with a trembling voice, “Anna, I’m so sorry. I don’t think they’ll let me go anytime soon.”
“What do you mean?”
Shane looked down and said barely audible for us, “I kind of went off on a nurse here and…”
He stopped and didn’t say anything else, but only took a deep breath.
Jorden then asked tensely, “And what, Shane?”
Shane looked up slowly, “I guess she’s pressing charges for assault. It happened last week.”
At that my whole body started shaking and I couldn’t say anything. I could only think of his probation and all the sudden an overwhelming fear snuck up on me.
Jordan sounded tense, “They’ll let you go home soon, Shane.”
Shane looked over at his brother, “I really don’t know.”
I couldn’t speak because all the sudden I was so scared.
I pulled my hands from Shane’s hands and he looked at me, “Anna…”
I tried to hold it together and asked, “What did you do to her?”
His eyes were dark on me and they were full of doubt but also full of fear, “It doesn’t matter.”
I got up and walked over to the window. I couldn’t face Shane at that moment.
Jordan took over and sounded angry, “Shane, what did you do to the nurse?”
Shane took a deep breath and answered tense, “It really doesn’t matter, does it?”
Jordan sounded nervous, “Whatever the hell you did, they’ll throw it out…they have to. You didn’t know what you were doing, you weren’t stable. They have to throw it out. You’re probably on all kind of meds here.”
I stood by the window looking out and tears were streaming over my face. I was going to lose him, Shane would have to go back to prison and finish his sentence, maybe even get extended with new charges. I felt my whole body shake and I felt sick to my stomach.
Jordan paced through the room and repeated, “They’ll throw it out. They have to.”
He then cursed lowly, “Fuck…”
Shane didn’t say anything.
I heard the squeaking of the wheelchair as he pushed the rims and he came up behind me and touched my side, “Anna, please talk to me.”
His voice was shaky and I couldn’t stop my tears. I kept crying and I heard the door slam. When I turned around Jordan wasn’t in the room anymore but only Shane. I leaned on the wall and I let my body slide down onto the floor, pulled my legs up to my chest, my arms wrapped around my legs, and I cried. I couldn’t look at Shane at the moment, instead I heard him shuffle in the wheelchair and all the sudden he basically dropped down on the floor next to me.
He scooted closer and right away he put his arm around me, his legs were laying twisted in front of him as he pulled me to him.
I cried onto his shoulder as he leaned his head on mine, “I love you Anna. I’m sorry about everything I’ve said and done to you…”
His words faded and he pulled me even closer.
I cried and I mumbled into my lap, “You’ll have to go back to prison.”
He didn’t say anything and when I looked up his eyes were glistening with tears.
“Shane, what are we going to do?”
“I don’t know, I just want to hold you close to me right now.”
We sat there in an embrace and we didn’t say anything else because there was nothing to say and there was nothing to do.
We sat there for a few minutes and under tears I eventually asked him again, “Where are your braces and your crutches?”
My eyes were on Shane’s oddly scrambled legs on the floor in front of us.
He answered lowly, “I don’t know. They took ‘em away for now I guess. That’s why they gave me this thing.”
He quickly touched the wheelchair and pulled it closer. My eyes wandered to the chair.
I sniffled, “Do you like it?”
Shane shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know, it’s weird. There’s no way for me to stand right now because I don’t even have my crutches. So I’m pretty much fucked without this thing. I can’t get around otherwise. They take it out of the room at night. I have to push a button for the nurse to come in if I need anything. I guess they felt the crutches or my braces could be used as a weapon.”
Shane laughed lowly at his own words and he shook his head.
I cuddled closer to him, “Shane, how long do you have to stay here?”
He ran his fingers over my leg, “I don’t know.”
Given the circumstances Shane seemed somewhat calm in the face of this situation. He was possibly going to get charged for assault which could mean his going back to prison. Just the thought alone was unbearable for me.
I asked lowly, “How do you feel about being here?”
He shrugged his shoulders, “I hate it, I’m scared, I’m frustrated, and I can barely hold it together.”
He said this calmly and seemingly in defeat.
Lowly he added, “They got me on meds, heavy duty shit for depression and PTSD. It keeps me in a constant state of fatigue. I’ve declined the meds but then they told me I can’t leave here until I’m off suicidal watch. That won’t happen until the meds are adjusted and right.”
I moved my eyes to him, “Shane…”
He looked at me and he did look tired and exhausted, “Hhm?”
“Why didn’t you take your meds like you should have after you got discharged from Charity?”
He shrugged his shoulders again, “Stupidity, pride…I don’t know.”
I felt tears in my eyes, “Shane, what’s going to happen?”
He looked down again and answered without looking at me, “I don’t know. I just know that I’m scared.”
I sniffled my nose and Shane lifted my chin, wiping some tears away with his fingers.
I mumbled, “Are you okay right now? You seem…I don’t know…so…calm.”
Shane looked down again, “Inside, my mind is racing Anna. Inside, I’m full of rage and fear. I’m fucking scared of what’s going to happen to me, to us. I’m so sorry about all the pain I caused you. They keep me in check by shoving tablets down my throat…that’s how they make sure I don’t get out of control anymore. I was restrained until two days ago, they had me tied to the fucking bed, not that I was going to run off or anything. I don’t know where my shit is, I get around with this fucking wheelchair. And above all I think about you every second of the day Anna, every damned second and I miss you so much. I want to kick myself in the ass for losing it and with that ending up in this hole and getting myself in deep shit. It seems that everything I wanted to be for you and do for you, for us, is slipping away from me again.”
He said all this low and calm but I felt his hands tremble and I saw his legs twitch and when he looked at me his eyes were shiny and moist, flickering nervously.Deep inside I couldn’t help thinking that somehow Shane and I meeting at Charity and getting together had led to all of this. I felt a sense of guilt for the situation we were in.
With a shaky voice I asked, “Is it my fault Shane?”
He shifted his position and he lifted my chin again and shook his head, answering lowly, “No Anna, it’s not your fault. It’s my fault alone…”
The door opened and Jordan came back in.He looked tense and sad, “I told them they need to take back the charges. You were not yourself when you assaulted the nurse. They can’t do this to you in here. I’ll get you out of here Shane.”
I heard his voice trembling and I also heard the doubt in his words.
Jordan sat down on the couch closest to us, his arms resting on his legs and his hands locked, “I’ll do everything to get you out of here man.”
Shane looked over at his brother and said lowly, “Don’t stress about this Jordan, whatever happens, happens.”
Jordan’s eyes shot at Shane and he said tensely, “How the fuck can you say that?”
Shane tilted his head some and kept his eyes on his brother, “Jordy, it’s not your problem so don’t worry about it.”
Jordan seemed angry, “It is my fucking problem. I made Jenny call 911 and this is what happened…you’re locked up in here and you’re probably going straight back to Angola.”
I started crying silently next to Shane. He still had his arm around me and I buried my face in between my knees and when Shane realized I was crying more he lowly said to Jordan, “Stop saying shit like this, you’re scaring Anna.”Even though he said it lowly and calm, it was a tense and angry calm.
He pulled me closer but I couldn’t stop crying at the thoughts of Shane going back to prison.
At that moment the door opened again and the nurse came in. She looked somewhat surprised at us on the floor. I sniffled my nose and wiped over my cheeks.“So, I have to ask you guys to finish up the visit here shortly.”
Jordan got up and was still tense, “What? That wasn’t even 30 minutes.”
“I’m sorry, right now visiting is limited to 30 minutes for Shane.”
My heart was beating like it was going to pop out of my chest. I held Shane’s hand so tight, it hurt.
Shane only mumbled into my hair, “Anna, I love you so much, don’t forget that, okay, but if you don’t want to deal with this anymore, I’ll understand.”
I couldn’t say anything and his comment hurt so badly.
The nurse repeated friendly but determined, “I’m sorry to have to end the visit but I have to ask you to get ready to leave now.”
Jordan’s voice was tense and loud, “This is stupid. 30 minutes for a visit with my brother. That’s nothing, it’s like he’s in fucking prison or something.”
The nurse turned to Jordan, “I’m sorry.”
Shane moved next to me and I snapped out of my daze.
He said lowly, “I’ve to get up into the chair.”
He unlocked his embrace from me and I was feeling a panic creep up. He wasn’t going to fight this, he wasn’t going to protest this like Jordan did. He was merely planning on getting into the wheelchair and finishing this visit.
I looked at him, “Shane?”
He smiled warmly, nodded and basically whispered, “I’m sorry Anna.”
With this he moved the wheelchair over and I saw him set the breaks on the wheels. I watched him as he tried to make it back up into the chair. He moved his body next to the wheelchair, angled his legs at the knees and held them with his hand for a moment, so they wouldn’t fall over. For a few seconds he just sat there concentrating. He then placed his other hand on the wheelchair frame and with his fist on the floor and the other hand on the wheelchair frame he attempted to push and pull himself up. He failed and watching him I felt pain. He plopped down onto the floor, his legs were twitching harder now.
He sat for a moment again, collecting himself and the nurse asked, “Do you need help Shane?”Determined he answered, “No.”
She then said, “I’ll give you five more minutes to say Good Bye.”
With that she walked out.
I met Shane’s eyes when he looked up, “Let me try this again.”
Jordan was angry, “This is so fucked up, this is stupid.”
Shane ignored his brother and got in position again to push himself up into the wheelchair.He smiled at me for a moment, “Paraplegics in wheelchairs learn this crap in rehab. I’m self-taught.”
He actually still had a smile on his face and I watched him in amazement how he pushed up again for the transfer.
Jordan though asked angrily, “Where are your braces and crutches? Why don’t you have them?”
Shane actually had made it and was just lifting his feet onto the foot rest, I watched in silence and admiration.
Once his feet were placed he said, “Anna?”
I snapped out of the moment and looked from his legs to his face above me.
He asked, “You okay?”
I pressed my fist to my mouth and tears were streaming again as I shook my head. I was far from okay.
Shane had his elbows resting on his thighs and he reached his hands to me, leaning forward in the chair, “Anna, give me your hands.”
I put my hands in his and he said lowly, “Listen to me…I love you and that’s all. I miss you so much. I hope things will work out and I hope I’ll get out of here soon so we can be together again. And I’m so deeply sorry and hope you can forgive me. If you can’t do this though, I’ll totally understand.”
With that I saw a tear roll over his cheek and I swallowed trying to find my words.
My voice was low and scratchy, “Shane, I’m so scared…” I shrugged my shoulders and swallowed again, the knot in my throat seemed to be swelling more by the second, “What are we going to do if…”
Shane stopped me shaking his head, “Don’t say it, don’t even think it right now. Let’s just take it day by day but if you need out I’ll understand.”
I shook my head again, “I don’t want out. I love you more than just jumping ship right now. I love you so much Shane and I want you to be okay and I want us to be together always. I’ll try to be strong and not think about what could happen.”
He nodded, “Good, do it for me Anna.”
The nurse came in again, Shane sat up and with that pulled me up from the floor at the same time. Jordan was still only angry, “This is fucked up!”Shane spun his chair around and hissed at his brother, “Jordan, stop it!”
Surprised Jordan looked at Shane and I saw his eyes were glistening too.
Shane wheeled over to Jordan and held his arms out.
Jordan leaned down to hug him and in an embrace Shane said, “You need to chill out man. Everything will work out somehow.”
Jordan mumbled with a shaky voice, “You just came back home and I don’t want to lose you again.”
“You won’t, okay.”
They let go of each other and Shane turned to me again. Oh god, how beautiful his eyes were. He reached out to me again.
I fell into his embrace, “I love you Shane, so very much. Be strong for me and I’ll be strong for you.”
He nodded in our embrace and said lowly into my ear, “Thanks Anna. I love you too and even though it hurts like hell right now we’ll make it.”
With that his grip loosened but I didn’t want to let him go. I hadn’t even kissed him yet.
And he didn’t move in for a kiss, two other people were in the room with us. He then put his hands to the push rims and with his eyes on me he pushed backwards, with his lips forming a silent “I love you.”
I thought I was going to pass out from the pain I felt.
For some reason Shane was the stronger one of us at this moment, spinning the wheelchair and once more telling Jordan, “I love you Jordy. Tell all of them I love ‘em.”
He spun the wheelchair all the way and pushed it out the door. I wanted to scream after him, I wanted to run after him, I wanted to take him with me. All of this seemed so wrong and it hurt so much.
I stood there with an open mouth watching him wheel away from me.
The nurse looked at us and smiled, “Thanks guys. You can get your belongings and check out at the reception please.”
Then she also walked away.
I leaned on the wall, swallowing and trying to catch my breath, tears were running over my face and they didn’t want to stop.Jordan came over and actually laid his arm around me for support, saying lowly, “C’mon Anna, let’s get out of this fucking place. This wasn’t right.”
He was still angry but I knew all his tears and emotions were held inside.
Getting my purse at the reception was like a blur, I only had Shane on my mind, nothing else. With his arm around me Jordan led me out to my car.
I actually wasn’t sure if I could drive at the moment and Jordan realized that, “Anna, I can take you to my house right now and we can get your car later or tomorrow. I don’t want to let you drive right now.”
I nodded obediently and without an opinion. He led me to his pick-up truck and helped me get in as my tears only slowly subsided.
In Jordan’s truck we didn’t say anything. We made it to the trailer and I still felt like in a daze. The dogs came running and soon Jenny appeared in the door on the front porch.
She came down the few stairs toward me and held her arms open.
I fell into her embrace and she said, “I’m sorry Anna, how is he doing?”
I shook my head, “I’m not all the way sure.”
Jordan came around his truck and was still angry, “It was messed up, we only got like fucking 30 minutes with him, stupid ass policy. 30 minutes is nothing.”
Jenny threw him a stern look and with her arm around me we walked into the trailer.
Inside Jenny led me to the couch and told me to sit down.
I saw Jordan kiss his wife and Jenny asked him lowly, “Are you all right?”
He sounded tense, “Not really.”
Jenny had coffee and we all sat down in the living room with a mug of coffee in our hands.Jordan told Jenny about the visit and Jenny was shocked to hear about the assault charges.
Lowly she stated, “He’s still on probation…”
With that she looked over at me and I could only nod slowly with my lips pressed together.
Jordan went on about the clinic having to throw out the charges and all because Shane didn’t know what he was doing, but we all knew it wasn’t going to be that easy.
Jenny asked, “Is he back on medications?”
I nodded and Jordan let me talk, “He’s on meds for his depression and PTSD. He told me the medications make him tired and fatigued all the time. He did seem tired during the whole visit, like somehow his spirit was broken, I don’t know.”
We had dinner at Jordan’s house and I ended up spending the night. The last thing we had been told at the clinic was that Jordan could call every day for an update on Shane but for now they were going to keep him there. We would be allowed to visit again the next week.
I drove back home to New Orleans on Thursday and I went to work to get my mind off everything that was going on.