Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Kind Of Bummed

Hey all,
first off thanks to the 4 readers who commented and thanked me after the last chapter of NB last week. You guys rock!

I can't help that I'm actually kind of bummed and feel somewhat hurt though. I know no one posts on Tuesdays currently so I thought I will just post this today.

I had posted a longer emotional last chapter intro, had added my email just in case people want to write privately, had even added some pictures (yes, there were two at first) to the last chapter which I was excited about but I can't help I feel that somehow all the work I put into those 37 chapters, making sure I posted every week for people who like the story and really gave it my best shot seems a little unappreciated and I'm discouraged right now to keep going and post anymore in the future. I'm not asking for comments all the time but this was the very last chapter of NB and I was hoping to get a little bit more on comments to at least say Thank You. I also understand that some people can't comment or want to stay anonymous but 4 comments on a final chapter after 37 weeks seemed very little.

I was debating if I should post this because I really don't want to whine or complain and I didn't want to let this get to me but these last couple of days my mind was spinning as in "Did they not like the end?","Should I have ended it more devy?","Was the picture weird?","Did I overdo by putting my email address on here?"and so on...

Annabelle is writing about being insecure which I don't think she has anything to worry about, she is a published writer after all but for me who is an amateur this end to NB kind of put a damper on my writing and posting spirit. No comments can sometimes mean that people may not have good comments so there comes that insecurity into the picture. Maybe I'm not really worthy to even post here.

I know this was a long story once again and I thank everyone who at some time or another commented or let me know they are still out there following along. It meant so much to me.
And for me personally this is the only assurance I have by posting here and with that opening up a part of my soul and letting myself be vulnerable to some extent. I am not published, I am not in any writing group or whatever it is that writers do, I'm not an English major at college,  I'm just a person writing stuff and a couple of years ago finally finding the courage to share my stories here on the Blog.

I now edited and shortened my intro, took out my email address because maybe it was too much. I also deleted the second picture. I felt kind of dumb going to all the lengths of finishing this up.

Well, I think I speak for every author who posts on here. Our stories are unique and only reach an extraordinary small audience because our stories are not the norm and are not mainstream, they are created out of lots of emotional tumult sometimes, finding ourselves and finding peace with who we are and what we like.
Sharing these pieces of our creativity with like minded individuals, people who most likely are just like us and understand where our stories originate from means so very much to us. Writing these stories opens up our inner workings to our readers and with that makes us vulnerable to a certain extent.
We gain strength and motivation from YOU out there who reads and follows along. You are our drive and we need you to let us know that you are there.

You, our readers mean a lot to us, maybe more to one author than another.
Hugs,
Dani

35 comments:

  1. Moderator here.

    I agree with you, Dani. The only payment these authors receive for their stories is reader comments, so I wish more people would take the time. I know you've worked really hard to post your story for 37 chapters, and I want you to know that *I* appreciate the effort you've put in. It's people like you who keep this site going.

    Readers: Know that your comments not only keeps current authors posting, but it also encourages new authors to post. Because when they see all the people commenting, it gets them revved up to post.

    Dani, I hope you will keep posting stories here. While I appreciate Annabelle being here, the more variety, the better! You are a really talented author and I guarantee there are many people who enjoy your efforts, even if they keep silent.

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    1. Lee,
      I wanted to thank you for understanding and I especially want to back up the part about how comments not only keep us regular authors around but also help to attract new authors to come out of hiding. It will keep the Blog alive, interesting, and provide a variety of stories for sure. And above all it will provide a safe space for aspiring authors to test the waters.
      Thank you for all you do here and your feedback!

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  2. Thank you Dani for the wonderful story. I look forward to them every Tuesday. While I have been a regular poster in the past, when I got an IPad a few months ago, I could no longer post! Not sure why or if anyone else has that problem. Same for my iPhone. So for me to post, now I have to do it at work or on my husband's Windows machines - both not good to use!!!

    Please forward this to the moderator. Maybe we can have a post on easy posting in general and see if others have my problem. I tried on both Safari and Google on my IPad and failed.

    I am in awe of your abilities to go weekly and hope that you will not stop. I am working on a story but not ready to post for a while.

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    1. So sorry to hear that! I wish you had emailed me. I googled posting to blogger on the iPad and found this: http://www.bloggertipspro.com/2014/07/how-to-use-blogger-on-ipad.html?m=1

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  3. I always read your stories, but I suck at commenting. You are really talented, I admire that you have been writing nonstop. Please don’t stop writing!!!!

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  4. Hi Dani. Im a total fan that does not usually comment, but i love,love, love your stories they are for devotees. You have never failed to deliver. I know exactly at 11 am every thursday 'my time' your story is up.I have read all your stories and love them all. Please dont stop!!

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  5. Dear Dani,
    I'm about to write you a little novel here.
    Of course, I totally feel your pain. In spite of the fact that I do have some books on Amazon, I still can't help but feel insecure. Even if people like what I have on Amazon, if I post something new and nobody comments, I'm immediately thinking, "OMG, I've lost it! I suck! Everything I create from now on will be terrible!" Or, you know, something along those lines.

    I've been in the exact same situation as you many times. Finished a longass story and not many people commented, and I felt incredibly discouraged. So I'm going to say a few words of questionable wisdom:

    As a reader of dev fiction, I feel like the long stories here don't entirely work. I will start reading a new story, love it, but by chapter 9 or 10, I'm forgetting what happened at the beginning because it was like two months ago and the chapters are generally so short that I don't get the fix I want. So I have to admit, I have trouble staying with stories longer than that.

    For this reason, I've recently decided I am NOT going to post more than 10 chapters or so of any story anymore. I'm going to post until there's some sort of semi-conclusion, then I'm going to start posting something new. It's an experiment. We shall see.

    OK, enough about me... back to you, Dani my dear. I hope you know that people are constantly saying they love your stories. I think it was mentioned in a PD book club I participated in. You clearly are really talented and have a lot of loyal followers. You say "Annabelle is a published writer".... well, you can be too! I did it all myself and you can too. If you ever want my advice, you only have to ask for it and I'll help you.

    I wrote five different "in summaries" to this comment, so I'm just going to end here! But don't forget you're awesome. Fin.

    XXO,
    Annabelle

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  6. As you know, I have been a faithful reader of yours, Dani, and a long time reader on this site. You do need to sometimes be patient, though. I, like others, often lead a very busy life. There have been times I haven't had time to read for two or three weeks in a row. Then I come back and find so many chapters, from all our generous writers, that I have missed. It may take me all weekend to catch up! It is not about yours or anyone else's writing, or the lengths of stories. Sometimes we just can't make the time for our 'leisure' reading. You may notice that many of my comments are not on Thursdays, but a few days later. It is just life, getting the best of my time.
    So, please, keep on writing and sharing your ideas. They are unique, wonderful, and best of all, they are YOU.
    This is heartfelt when I say you belong here with us. Thank you for all you have shared.

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    1. Pepper, you are a superstar. I don't expect everyone to always comment on my stories, but it means so much to me that you always take the time to do it.

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  7. I' m so sorry if i didn't comment the post . Sometimes it's hard for me with 3 kids and an absent husband. But i can tell u test thé stories that i read here, help me to go through a lot of things that happened in my Life. Never think of dropping posting here. I can't wait to read u every week. Thank u and all the other authors for putting some light in our lives

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  8. Dani, I do understand your (and any other authors') frustration putting so much work into something with very little payoff. I do. But at the same time I am not sure what you are expecting here? This is not a writing group where everyone participating is required to comment thoughtfully on other members' contributions. You have posted several times asking for more comments, and I noticed way back when that you yourself don't comment on the other stories. Some of the writers here do and some don't, and maybe some do anonymously, but you told us in another one of your notes that you don't read the other stories both because you are too insecure about your writing and because you are too busy. I'm not sure if this is still true, but if you have checked the other stories recently you will see that most of them don't get a whole slew of comments either. Even Annabelle's! The ones with comment after comment are written like serials, with each installment leaving the reader on the edge of their seat with even more questions than they started out with. That's a style that works great for this blog and maybe here better than anywhere else, and might require some serious editing to translate well to novel form. You're writing fully fleshed out novels and posting them per chapter. I'd call your style "slow and sweet" which is one of my favorite types of dev fiction, like curling up in a favorite chair, something to be savored. But you don't write with much suspense (although I got chills when you ended a chapter with the casual mention that the expected hurricane was named Katrina!) or conflict, or leave cliffhangers at the end of every chapter, or throw dynamic twists our way very often. These things might seem gimmicky but they are what draws comments. Personally I've enjoyed your writing the way it is. I like longer, thought out, over arcing stories, and obviously other people do too since you have so many loyal readers. But I also have nothing concrete to say after each chapter other than "I read it." And I usually read the blog all in one go once every few weeks, not every day. I even save up the longer stories to read all in one go, because, as Annabelle said above, they work better that way. Yours and Chie's in particular I skip over when I'm catching up on things, and then when I have a nice block of time that I can use to relax and enjoy some dev fiction, I come back for a nice long read. But that's just me.

    The other thing I wanted to address is that you keep mentioning published authors. They have even less interaction than you do here on the blog! Publishing on Amazon gets you a small amount of money for each sale, but you certainly don't get weekly chapter-by-chapter comments! You get reviews, IF people choose to read them. I have a hard time leaving reviews on Amazon because I feel silly saying "great book!" and leaving it at that, but it's often difficult to verbalize exactly what I liked about something that made it so good. There are also times when I DON'T like something, both here and on Amazon, but since this is not a writing group I don't feel comfortable leaving small criticisms. It seems unnecessarily harsh and authors, especially here in the blog, are nervous and sensitive and insecure to share their work as it is and I'd hate to squash anyone's creativity or enthusiasm. I have seen people get their feelings hurt over such things and take their stories down entirely.

    Just now, trying to preview my comment, I almost posted displaying my real full name and picture! Another reason not to comment when I can only think of a few words to say!

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    1. People are reading your stories. They KEEP reading your stories, I promise. I think you can see how many hits your chapters get, can't you? I read this blog for years, since back when it was hosted right on PD and there was no way to comment except to email the author directly! It took me years to join PD after that, and another few years to make an ID here and start commenting, because I didn't want to seem like I was just butting in or came out of nowhere! I'm sure I'm not the only one who lurked around for ages, either.

      I guess I really wrote a lot here, but that I'm really trying to get across here is that while I feel your pain with the comments, I think you are placing too much worth on them and setting yourself up for disappointment that way. People love your stories and look forward to your regular updates! I waited for them religiously back when I had more time to spend on the blog! You are well known enough that people talk about your stories and your writing. Do you enjoy writing? Do you enjoy posting? Do you enjoy polishing and sharing your work, do you get a sense of accomplishment when you've seen something through to the end? Don't fall into the trap of watching for comments for 24, 36, 48 hours after you post, letting your heart sink even further every time you don't see a new one. Know that your writing is known and loved, and just relax and enjoy having this environment here just for us :) there is nothing else like it out there on the whole internet (I checked) so try to just take it for what it is and not expect more than you already get out of it.

      - Clair D

      PS I would buy your stories as an ebook just to have them on my Kindle. I'm sure I am not the only one. Just something to think about

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    1. Thanks everyone for your comments and feedback. I'm sorry it had to be like this to trigger some feedback.

      I guess I need to set a few things straight. It wasn't about the whole story and the comments, it was only about the last chapter.

      I know one can't comment every time and say "I read it" and I know there are only some chapters that maybe trigger a comment due to tensions or twists. I never expected a comment every time.

      On that note I want to thank Pepper once again for always throwing a comment out there every time. It meant a lot all the time.

      I don't actually read any other stories here. I may read a first chapter of a new story here and there and when I do I always make it a priority to comment if I did read it. I know how important it is to the authors.
      It still does make me feel very insecure about my own writing. I can't help that, it's just the way it is. It's hard for me to accept that I'm actually doing an all right job with the writing. Those are probably my own personal insecurities and I hate it sometimes. That is something only I can fix or get over and I have tried hard in the past.

      I don't check every day for comments or expect them because I know there are many reasons it doesn't happen as stated above by some of you.

      Yes, we can see the hits and that's why it got to me. I had all those hits of the obvious readers who had been following but then there were only 4 comments on a final chapter.

      So to touch on what Pepper mentioned above about people not always reading on the first day posted but a few days later, of course I know that as well and it is not an issue. I know people have lives and things going on. I am one of them.

      If my stories are mentioned anywhere like Annabelle states in the PD book club I guess it would have been nice to know. I had no idea this existed. I probably missed that.

      About publishing, thank you for the offer of help Annabelle. I just don't have the time and not really looking to make any money with it. I guess the plus would be that people would be able to have a complete story on their Kindle instead of having to wait a week every time. Maybe I still need to look into it.

      So this place here is really the only place for me to share my stories. I write on the side, it's just a hobby. I also don't share my stories with my real life friends because they wouldn't understand. No one I know in real life knows about this.
      I guess I would have to publish under a pseudonym.

      Again I appreciate all of your feedback. I thought long about posting this because I mostly know all the reasons and things you mentioned in response. I didn't want to come across as complaining. It's probably my own problem but it is what it is.

      It was merely about the final chapter of this long story and in comparison with the hits the number of comments.

      Thank you for everyone who comes here and reads and follows along and makes this place a great place to post our stories. For me personally it's the only place as Lee mentioned above and the only assurance/payment I have is the comments.

      Thank you, Love you all,
      Dani

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    2. Dani: I'm happy to help you if you ever do change your mind! It's not so much about the money for me as much as the pride. I always wanted to be a published author.

      And I think you should reconsider not reading anything else on the blog. I've been so inspired by the wonderful stories on here. And some of the great authors say that the best way to improve at writing is to read, read, read! :)

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  10. It's very shameful of me, but I'm a lazy reader. I read everything, everything. And then I tell myself I'll leave a comment later, and always forget to actually do it. I'll try to do better, but please, don't stop posting! It's the only place you get to post devvy stories, and it's the only place we get to read devvy stories. And it's amazing how it works.
    I'll try to be a better reader. I promise. Right now, I'll go back on your last chapter and leave a comment, because you're right, you deserve it, it's the last chapter after all.
    Don't feel disencouraged to post, please.

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  11. Honestly, I do often not comment because I am insecure about my english. I can understand and read well but I feel like I can't express myselfthe way I really want because of the language barrier.

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    1. I feel exactly the same way! I'd leave long, thoughtful comments in my native language, but I feel so insecure about my written english. It's also why I don't post the dev stories I write, even though they're in english.

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    2. Both your English is very good, at least what I see here.

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  12. I also have issues leaving comments using apple products. Go figure! I jotted down your email though and told myself I would email you. It's just been so busy with work and travel. Will so soon.

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  13. I'm with Claire, if you pin all your self-worth on getting comments, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. I have felt exactly that way myself, so I understand. I got a bit down that I was putting so much work into Devo Diary and it wasn't getting many comments, especially not compared to other stories here. But like Anon said further up, the format has a lot to do with it. I haven't posted regularly enough, and it's a huge story that is ongoing for years. We'd like the reader response to be equal to the amount of effort we expend, but it doesn't always work out that way. I decided that I'm writing Devo Diary for me, and to be happy just to post it. Any comments are just a bonus.

    BTW you can easily check the hits in Blogger and see that people are reading even if they are not commenting.

    PS Devo Diary is coming back next week! I'll be posting regularly on Mondays!

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    1. So happy to hear you will be posting again, DG!

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    2. Yay! I miss it so much.

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  14. I've tried to comment on your stories in the past Dani, when you'd asked for comments. I'd got the impression you weren't a native speaker of English and as well as saying how I'd enjoyed tbe story, I'd made some comments about where your language use was a little jarring. I don't know who decides what is accepted for publication as a comment but mine never appeared.

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    1. Moderator here.

      We do not moderate comments anymore. If something doesn't get published, it's either because there was an error or blogger thought it was spam. (I try to go through the spam folder every so often to correct these mistakes, which is why occasionally comments get published late.)

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    2. Thank you - that makes sense. I just didn't bother again for ages but clearly my posts are appearing now.

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    3. I assume you are referring to my ordinary language in the dialogues of my charavters in my story. Sorry if it bothered you but I try to write how people actually talk.

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    4. No Dani, I don't mean the colloquialisms. YONe thing that really stood out was the word 'lowly' to mean spoken in a low voice, which isn't what the word means. I'd noticed it particularly in '3's a Crowd', less so recently. I think your stories are great; interesting characters for whom the audience feels empathy very quickly - and I'd love to see what they could become with a good editor on board.

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    5. Apologies, typo. That should read 'One thing...'

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    6. Oh, my previous post went missing.

      No Dani, I don't mean the colloquialisms. One thing that really stood out was the word 'lowly' to mean spoken in a low voice, which isn't what the word means. I'd noticed it particularly in '3's a Crowd', less so recently. I think your stories are great; interesting characters for whom the audience feels empathy very quickly - and I'd love to see what they could become with a good editor on board.

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    7. Oh, that one...yeah, I actually put a lot of thought in that when I did use the word and even researched it where it was also a definition for "low in sound"...I don't want to use softly all the time...

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  15. Thanks for your feedback everyone. I don't think what I really tried to express came across right.

    It was really only about the last chapter.
    I don't expect comments all the time, I know that is not possible and also not necessary.

    I also don't base all my self worth on how many comments I get, that would be really bad.

    It's nice to know if people read and like the story and sometimes let the authors know. That's really all there is to it.
    It's nice to get a praise for an effort and again, I know it's not always possible for people to comment.

    Thank you to everyone who at some point or another commented in any of my stories. All I can say, it means a lot.

    I know if I would read stories here and I would like them or follow them regularly I would make it a point to comment.

    In real life I'm also a person who fills out all surveys and submits them. Only by doing that companies and businesses know if they are doing something good or not.

    This is the same with writing I guess.

    Again, thank you for all your feedback.
    Hugs, Dani

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  16. I've read and enjoyed every single chapter of New Beginnings (and your other stories). Unfortunately I've failed to comment. My "excuse" is that I usually read on my phone, on the train on my way to or from work and it's a hassle to write comments there.

    As a writer (who has a couple of unfinished stories here I know I need to do something about) I know how much comments means, so I really need to do a better job at it. Us authors can see the stats, so we know people are reading our stuff, but for me personally comments are a huge source of motivation. I will REALLY try to get better at commenting.

    -Mille

    PS!

    And for those who may be interested: I do want to finish both of the unfinished stories I have posted on this site. Unfortunately real life have been very challenging for me and I just haven't been in a place where I have the mindset and energy to write for a long time. Getting through work and other real life demands on a day to day basis is enough of a struggle these days. I am getting help and working on my issues and things are getting better, so don't give up on me.

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  17. Well done on finishing your story. 37 chapters is a great achievement.

    I'm sorry I haven't commented for ages, but I'll admit I stopped reading after about chapter 8 or 9. We are a specific group here, and not all the stories are going to appeal to everyone. I found that your story just wasn't doing it for me, although I'm sure there are many others who very much enjoyed it.

    Personally I'd like to read some stories with female wheelchair users in them, but they aren't allowed on this site unless there is a principle male disabled character and the female wheelchair user is in addition to that. I started to write my own story but don't have anywhere to post it so that's as far as it got.

    Please don't base your worth on the quantity of comments you get. You've done really well to write 37 chapters and finish your story. Be proud of yourself for that achievement.

    Next time, write for yourself. Write the story that you want to read, and hopefully the comments will be a bonus.

    (And if you know anywhere I can go for female paraplegic fiction then please point the way...)

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    1. Beth, thanks and I totally get it. Of course not every story appeals to every reader. I do actually write the stories for myself and it's really the only stuff I like to read. I write for myself really everything I write. If people also enjoy it then it's even better but of course everyone has different tastes.
      I hope you can find some stories that appeal to you,

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