Thursday, October 19, 2017

Will Love Prevail - Chapter 10

Chapter 10

On the drive home Chiara was quiet again. The wine had most likely worn off and Mark tried to make conversation with her but her answers were short.

His mind was racing and he still felt his heart ache. He needed to show her how much he really cared for her and how much he wanted her in his life. She was reluctant and she was scared, he felt it with all its might and it overshadowed them having a carefree interaction.

On this Saturday evening there was slow traffic all along the Interstate going North and Mark had to focus on driving, slowing down, going around cars and switching lanes when he had to. Driving kept him somewhat distracted but all day he had felt Chiara’s hesitation to fully let go. Only with the wine she had loosened up and she had said some things that had intrigued him. He had questions and he wanted answers.

Chiara sat quietly next to Mark and held the black stuffed animal cat on her lap. She kept glancing at him and she saw his silhouette in only the lights from the dash board and the head lights of other cars driving on the other side. Looking at him made her tremble and it made her weak but she couldn’t let this take over her alertness and vigilance about her situation. She cared for Mark so much it caused her a constant pain.

Mark stopped at a drive through bank machine and withdrew some money and checked his balance.  It should have been pay day the day before but in all the chaos he had forgotten to check. His VA disability was deposited and he was glad about that. He didn’t really use a whole lot of money for things, mostly really for eating out. Other than that, he didn’t do too much.

At home Ranger was happy to see the humans come in. He meowed and purred around Chiara’s legs.
She greeted him happily, “Hey Ranger, I brought you a girlfriend. Her name is Maddy.”
She set all the bags on the table and squatted down and showed Ranger the stuffed animal. He sniffed it for a moment, then kept meowing and didn’t care anymore.
Mark set his backpack on the floor, “Maddy must not be his type.”
Chiara smiled, “He’ll learn to like her.”

They both laughed and Mark rolled into the living room with Chiara behind him. It was almost six now. Chiara unpacked the bags and took out the shoes they had purchased.
She held Mark’s shoes in her hands, “Where do you want them?”
“You can just take them to the bedroom.”
Chiara disappeared in the bedroom and Mark picked up Ranger’s empty bowl and put some dry kibbles in it and set it back down.

Chiara came back out with the pink fluffy slippers on her feet and she had taken off Mark’s hoodie, which she had been wearing all day.

Mark was texting with his friends and Mitch had asked if they wanted to meet up or maybe the friends could come over. The guys were curious about Chiara and wanted to meet her.
Chiara folded up the bags and Mark looked over to her, “Would it be okay if my friends come over for a bit tonight?”
She looked up quickly and her eyes flickered nervously. He realized the look on her face right away and didn’t think she approved of the idea.
She nodded weakly, “It’s not my decision. They’re your friends and this is your place Mark.”
“Well, yes…but you’re here right now and if you don’t want them to come over then they won’t. I don’t have a problem with it if they don’t come over.”
She shrugged her shoulders but didn’t say anything.
He knew she didn’t like the idea, “I’ll tell them not to come over.”
Chiara didn’t protest but finished folding up the emptied bags and set them on the kitchen counter.

Mark texted his friends in the group chat that it wasn’t a good time.

Mitch replied:  Are you all right with her there? What’s the plan, man?

Mark: We had a couple of moments today while we were out at the mall. I really don’t know. I like her a lot

Corey now jumped into the conversation: Couple of moments, what do you mean?

Mark: Just like close moments, I guess. I just don’t know. I can’t explain really.

Mitch: So, is she just going to stay there now or what?

Mark: For now, yes. I really don’t know how it’s going to go. I’ve no clue. I know I like her and she’s different than anyone I’ve ever been with.

Patrick came on: Don’t stress about it man. Just go with the flow right now. Do you think her dude is looking for her?

Mark: Maybe, she says he is. But I haven’t seen a cell phone or anything on her. I don’t know. She seems scared and nervous

Mitch: Just be careful man.

Mark: I will be.

Corey: Did you buy her stuff today, like clothes and things?

Mark: I bought her some shoes, she didn’t want clothes. I got a couple of things from my neighbor Lori and her girls. I guess she’s okay with that for right now

Patrick: Good, well, hit us up if you need anything. Jess would happily get some stuff together for her.

Mark finished texting with his friends and turned to Chiara who sat on the couch now in the living room with Ranger already on her lap.
“So, I told them it’s not a good time to come over.”
Chiara looked over at him, “I don’t want to interfere with your normal life.”
He pushed his rims and wheeled over to her, “You’re not. I don’t want them here tonight either. They're just curious, wanting to stick their noses in my business.”
He laughed and added, “But I guess that’s what friends do, right?”
She said softy, “They’re probably worried about you.”
Mark lowered his eyes and took a deep breath, then looked back up at her, “Yeah, they are.”
“They have every right to worry. I worry too.”
He swallowed, “Don’t worry, okay.”

She looked down to Ranger, letting her hand run over his back and Mark changed the subject, “I think I have wine in the pantry. Do you want to check? You can open it if you want. I don’t drink wine.”

Chiara looked up at him, smiling. She had felt the wine wear off during the trip home. She knew she had been tipsy earlier and she had said some things that she probably shouldn’t have said. 
“What are you trying to do to me Mark?”
He smiled at her, “Nothing, I just…I had a good time with you earlier. You seemed like you didn’t worry so much when you had something to drink. I like that. I don’t want you to worry.”
He put his hands to his rims, “I’ll head to my bedroom for a moment to take my shoes off and stuff.”
She nodded, “Okay.”

She watched as Mark spun his wheelchair around and headed for his bedroom. She got up and walked over to the pantry. There were two bottles of red wine on the top shelf and she looked at them. One was a Merlot and the other a Cabernet Sauvignon. She chose the Merlot.
She was looking through the drawers for the opener and found it and a glass.

When Mark came back out after a few minutes he was in his lounge pants and in socks and smiled at Chiara sitting on the couch with a glass of wine in her hand and Ranger next to her. He pushed into the kitchen and got a beer from the refrigerator, then wheeled into the living room to her.

He smiled with his bottle stretched out to her, “Here we go again.”
Chiara smiled and tapped his bottle with the glass and they drank.
After the sip from his bottle he asked, “Did you have fun today?”
She nodded, “I did. The Arcade was fun. I know you probably found it dumb.”
Mark shrugged his shoulders, “It was good you had fun. For me it’s tough with crowded places and lots of noise but I survived, didn’t I?”
“Thanks for taking me there. I did feel like a little kid again.”

Mark debated if he should address her falling and sitting on his lap but he didn’t.
“Well, I’m glad you found some shoes.”
“Me too, thanks for that.”
“No problem. You could have looked for some clothes too.”
“I think I’m okay right now. Maybe some other time.”
Mark nodded, “Okay.”

He took a sip from his bottle, “Are you hungry?”
“I’m good. I’m still full from the pub.”

He wanted to say so many things but he just didn’t know how to start. He wanted to ask her about Trey and about her time on the streets.
Chiara then asked, “Do you watch TV at all?”
Mark looked over at his big screen TV, “Yeah, I have shows I like to watch and I play video games.”
“What all do you watch?”
Mark thought for a moment, “Like cop and crime shows or news. Some of the adventure stuff like Game of Thrones, Vikings and stuff like that. How about you?”
“Not too much, I like funny stuff though when I do watch. Big Bang Theory is one of my favorites.”
“I like that one too.”
Chiara looked at the TV and Mark asked, “Do you want to watch TV?”
“Yes, maybe if you don’t mind.”
“No, of course not.”

He wheeled over to the table with the remotes on it and he turned on his TV and quickly found a channel with Big Bang Theory on it, “There you go.”
Chiara smiled and he asked, “Only if you also want to.”
“I don’t mind. It’s definitely a funny show.”

Mark stayed in his wheelchair and had another sip from his beer bottle. His mind was really occupied with Chiara and he pondered if he could or should make a move but something kept him from taking it to the next level. Chiara had this high invisible wall around her and he felt he just couldn’t get through. It frustrated him really. He had no real plan on how things were going to be and even though in between he had felt these signs of Chiara maybe interested in him more than just a friend, every time she had diverted again and left him unsure and insecure about how she felt for him.

He was surprised when she asked now, “Do you always sit in your wheelchair when you watch TV?”
Mark turned to her, “Not always, I sit on the couch usually.”
She looked at the spot next to her, “Why don’t you sit down? I can move over if this is your spot.”
“You don’t have to move.”

He pushed his wheelchair over to the couch and Ranger jumped off and walked away, almost like he knew he had to make room for his owner to sit down.
Chiara had pulled her feet up on the couch and even though Mark was happy to sit next to her, he was nervous at the same time.
He handed her his bottle, “Can you hold that for a moment?”
Chiara took the beer bottle from his hand. 

He angled his wheelchair and set his break. His heart beat quickly from nervousness. He pushed his butt forward on the wheelchair and with one fist on the couch and the other on his seat he propelled over and fell more or less onto the couch. His legs didn’t follow but stayed awkwardly halfway with his feet on the foot rest and he took some quick breaths and adjusted his position more upright, then used his hands to lift his legs off the wheelchair and set them in front of him on the floor.
He pushed his wheelchair over some and with his eyes down he smiled, “There.”

Chiara’s loins were aching as she had watched him transfer and her heat skipped beats at the same time. Watching Mark transfer triggered so many emotions, it was almost unbearable for her to be so close to him.
He sat right and was very close to Chiara now. She handed him his bottle again and they smiled at each other and tapped their beverages again.

Mark wondered what she thought about his transfer and he debated addressing it but again he didn’t. He remembered clearly though what she had said earlier when he had transferred into his car and she was still feeling the wine in her system.

He looked at her for a moment and she quickly looked away. They watched the sitcom for a while, drinking and sitting quietly. Chiara had her legs up on the couch, Mark just sat there with his legs still and his feet planted on the floor. Instead of watching the show all the way though he kept finding his mind drift off to the woman next to him. He wanted so much more of her than to just sit there and watch TV.

Chiara felt the same way about him but she tried her best to keep those thoughts in check. Her thoughts drifted to Trey and his gang and she knew they were out looking for her and if they would only figure out where she was, Mark would be in terrible danger. This kept her from letting herself go and do what she really longed for so much, which was fall into Mark’s arms and be held by him and so much more.

She kept glancing at his still legs and once he had finished his beer, she offered to get him another one and while she got him another beer, she also filled up her glass again. They watched a few episodes of the Big Bang Theory and they laughed together and they tapped their beverages and smiled at each other. It was about three shows in when Chiara offered to get something to snack from the kitchen if Mark would tell her what he wanted.

He explained to her what he had in the pantry and she told him to stay on the couch and that she would get it. Soon they sat there with chips and dip and they ate and they drank and they watched TV. Chiara’s laughs became more lose and more carefree with the wine she was drinking again. They really were binge watching the show but they didn’t get closer then tapping their drinks and sitting next to each other on the couch, close enough that their hips were almost touching but still so far away from each other.

With the third beer Mark found himself constantly looking over at Chiara and thinking about her being with him so much closer. It was after he had finished the fourth beer and Chiara was laughing at the show again, carefree and cheerful when he put his hand on her leg. She quickly looked down at his hand and he expected her to say something but she didn’t and she left his hand there but she didn’t add her hand to it. He took a deep breath and he shifted on the couch to face her better.

She realized his shifting position and she looked at him.
Mark didn’t have any words and his heart was racing in his chest when he moved his hand up to her hair and draped it behind her ear again, exposing all of her face so he could fully see her.
Chiara lowered her eyes and he moved closer to her. She didn’t look at him and he touched her cheek and she felt her heart race just the same.

He pushed himself slightly closer without his legs moving and then he put his hand behind her head and was just about to pull her closer to his face. Her eyes shot up at him terrified and he stared at her for a moment and opened his mouth to say something but he couldn’t find his words. The show was playing in the back ground and the laugh of the audience on TV sounded through the living room.

Mark took a couple of quick breaths and was about to pull her in for the kiss when she disconnected from him and quickly jumped up. He lost the connection to her and she rushed out of the living room.

He took a couple of deep breaths, glanced after her, and held himself there on the couch, pressing his lips together and breathing deeply through his nose, staring at the abandoned spot on the couch next to him and feeling very alone and embarrassed. He swallowed and he debated if he should go after her. She had run into the hallway and he had heard the bathroom door shut in his bedroom.

He closed his eyes and tried to get his emotions under control. It was difficult, he felt like an idiot and he was angry at himself for having tried to take it to the next level. He sat up and leaned his head back on the couch staring at the ceiling and his mind was racing at what to do.

Chiara had locked herself into the bathroom and now cried with her heart breaking at having left Mark behind.

Mark grabbed the beer and downed the rest of the fourth bottle. He swallowed and he felt tense at the whole situation.  

Chiara was sitting on the stool in Mark’s bathroom and cried quietly. She looked into the mirror and with her hair draped behind her ear she saw her eye and her lip and she stared at herself. Her eyes travelled around in Mark’s bathroom, his shower and the shower chair, the frame around the toilet, the counter without cabinet doors under it, Mark’s obvious supplies and his toiletries. Tears were just streaming from her face and her heart hurt so much.

Mark was everything she had dreamt of all her life. All those years with Trey meant nothing to her. There probably had been a time when she had loved him but it had quickly changed into a dependence of the violent kind. She had been depending on Trey taking care of her, had feared leaving him, had lived in denial and had stayed strong to keep going, to make it through another night and another client, having seen the inside of so many vehicles and having gotten glimpses into the mind of men who didn’t care about anything but themselves. She had developed disgust and hate for them including Trey and had been wanting to leave this world and life behind so many times.

And she remembered the last time she had been really happy. It had been the time when she had gone over to Aaron’s house after he had come home from the rehab center in Seattle where he had been for four months, almost all summer long.

This had been the summer break before her junior year in High School when everyone else hung out at the lake, went camping, or had BBQ’s while she spent hours on end in the ICU at her boyfriend’s bedside, holding him when he cried and laying with him when he was exhausted from all the rehab exercises.

It had been the summer that changed everything for Aaron and Madison. It had been the time when they still called Chiara by her first name Madison, short Maddy. It had been the summer when it all came bubbling to the surface as she witnessed her boyfriend get into a bad car accident. He had only had his license for about six months, and was only four months short of turning seventeen. She was only sixteen. Aaron and she had been an item for about a year, High School sweethearts. He had been an excellent Basketball player and she had been a cheerleader dancing on the sidelines at every game. He had also been the boy who took her virginity.

Chiara remembered how nervous she had been to visit him at home the day after his parents had picked him up from rehab. She had flowers, she had his favorite Pizza from the local Pizza joint all the teenagers loved, and she had brought him a teddy bear with a heart imprint. And there was a card that said many things but also something like “Nothing will change what we have, you’re my forever kind of guy.” And she had dressed nicely and made sure she looked good. All she wanted was to make her boyfriend happy and let him forget that he now was paraplegic and would never walk again.

And she remembered how her heart almost jumped out of her chest when she saw him there in his house, sitting in his wheelchair and smiling at her when she attached the string of the Welcome Home balloon to his wheelchair.

Aaron’s smiles had changed over the summer, they had become weak and very rare. Mostly he had become serious and sad, thinking his life was over. Chiara had sworn to herself that she would do everything in her power to make him happy. She had even looked into wheelchair Basketball options. And when she saw him there in his Quickie wheelchair and knowing he would forever be in it, her heart wanted to burst from all the love she felt for him. Something about Aaron being in a wheelchair had changed everything she felt for him. Now the emotions surrounding her boyfriend had become so much more intense and the fact of his being in the wheelchair had made her body tremble with an unexplainable force toward him.

The wheelchair had changed her view of her boyfriend from just a regular boy to some kind of extraordinary human being. She felt so proud to be seen with him and around him. She felt special because she had been his girlfriend through it all and she loved him even more after the accident than before. She could never figure out what had happened to her heart and her body when Aaron had come out of the accident paralyzed.

And Aaron started smiling more again and Chiara was there with him as much as she could while she was in between apartments with her mom and brother and having to take care of things her mom couldn’t take care of because she was high or drunk. It took a few more months but she got Aaron to laugh again and she got him to get out more and she loved him so very much. She was certain she would be his one and only forever because he now was in a wheelchair and other girls didn’t want to be with a boy in a wheelchair.

And before his accident, their first time having sex and the few times thereafter, which had been somewhat clumsy and insecure, had always ended with them both laying in each other’s arms smiling and in the bathroom flushing condoms down the toilet, then became a distant memory. At least they had shared the bond a few times before the accident because then everything was different for Aaron. A boy only seventeen who had still been learning about his sexuality now had no idea anymore what to do.

But Chiara had been there for him even when it came to that and she made him feel wanted still. She was so drawn to him and his paralyzed body, his lifeless legs, his changed personality and everything that he was now. She couldn’t get enough of looking at him, witnessing him adapt to his new life and dealing with his new identity and she was by his side all the way. And he laughed with her and pieces of his old self when he was still walking pushed through again, his edgy humor, his interest in sports and cars. And Chiara was as happy as can be to be the girl by his side. There had been the many times she sat on his lap and they kissed and then made out. Even though they didn’t do it the same way they had started out, Chiara helped him explore her sexuality in other ways and at the same time learning how he could be sexual again. And when things didn’t work right, she still loved him and praised him and told him how much she wanted him. And they laughed together after their attempts of being sexual in any way they could.

Being with Aaron made her forget about her brother leaving and disappearing in the depths of the city, hanging around the creatures of the night, falling into drugs and crime. It made her forget about her mother not capable of anything because of her addictions. Aaron had been her life and her world and she wanted to always be in that world.

But they finished High School and she remembered at graduation how she made out with Aaron while sitting on his lap and he in his wheelchair and how she hoped he would maybe ask her to marry him. He didn’t do no such thing but they promised each other forever even when he left to go to college up North. Things were accessible for him there, he could still go to college like any other young person even though he was in a wheelchair. And he wanted to have a career one day and his parents had money so he could go to college.  

Aaron had been happy that Madison had stuck by him through this time in his life as he had been adjusting as a seventeen-year-old boy to life as a paraplegic. And he had been with her any moment he could. She had accepted him the way he was and she had lifted him up when he had felt down and she had encouraged him when he had felt hopeless. Chiara had been his hope that life would still be good for him until another girl who said she liked boys in wheelchairs took over that position and then there was the day Aaron called Chiara from college and broke up with her to experience another girl who was all over him in his wheelchair. 

It did break Chiara’s heart and it was never the same after that. Ever since Aaron, in her dreams her knight in shining armor was never on a horse but he was always in a wheelchair. And now this knight was right outside in the living room and she had turned him down because she was scared for his life and her own life the same.

She sat on the stool and cried silent tears thinking back to Aaron. She never did see him again after he had broken up with her.

Soon after the graduation and the break-up she was out on her own, working as a waitress and living with three other girls in an apartment. She worked a lot just to make ends meet and the friends that frequented the apartment had been young men who seemed to always have money and were able to buy things for the girls and give them a good time and one of them was Trey. He was charming and he was good looking and he treated her like a queen and the man of her dreams in a wheelchair faded into the back of her mind because now Trey rode up in his BMW to pick her up and take her to Seattle, to Vancouver, or to Portland where she met other young men and women who somehow always had money.

And she lived a good life for a while and Trey then told her over and over how sexy she was and how hot and how all his friends were jealous of him having such a very hot girlfriend and they all wished they would be able to be with her. He had treated her like a queen and she didn’t have to worry about anything. After the years with Aaron and having to take care of her mother and brother it was almost a relief to give up control.

Trey said he would never share her with any other guy and he joked unless the guy would pay up. And one day he said a friend had offered him money to sleep with Chiara and he said it was the dumbest idea because he would never do that but $ 600 for a blow job would be awesome in a way.

And again, he had waved it off and had laughed and said that never in the world he would do that. He said that he knew Chiara would never do anything like that but Chiara had already started thinking about it because she wanted to make Trey happy and proud of her. And Trey promised he would stay there with her to make sure she was safe and it would only be a blow job after all. And somehow in a night of drinking Chiara found herself giving a friend a blow job while Trey watched and then collected $ 600. She was distraught and ashamed but Trey assured her how awesome she had done and he gave her the money and she could buy what she wanted. And he caressed her, he bought her massages and spa visits, and wanted to make sure she looked good and felt good about herself. He kept saying there was nothing for Chiara to be ashamed of. 

And others now heard about this and they offered money and with Trey holding her hands they agreed to other men offering money for Chiara. But he started holding her hands very tight when they talked to the men and he then changed and was obsessed with it and that’s when they started fighting and Chiara said she didn’t want to do this anymore. He then threatened her that she had already started this and what she had done was actually illegal and if she would be found out she would go to prison. That’s when he beat her the first time and told her if she didn’t want to be found out she would do what he demanded of her and he wanted to collect the money the men offered.

This is how years of abuse and sexual exploitation happened and Chiara was trapped for a long time.

Mark pulled his wheelchair closer to the couch again and lethargically he transferred over into it. He really didn’t know what to do or if he should talk to Chiara and apologize.

Ranger was sitting on the upper platform of his cat tree looking down at his owner with small eyes. Mark plopped into the wheelchair and put his hands to his rims. He still had no idea how he would approach Chiara.

He put his hands to the push rims and slowly made his way into this bedroom. The bathroom door was closed and he wheeled up to the bathroom door, listening for a moment and he heard the sniffles from inside.

“Chiara, are you all right?”
His voice was weak and insecure. There was no reply and he pushed his chair back and forth on the spot waiting and thinking.
“Chiara, please tell me you’re okay!”
Nothing came from inside the bathroom and he then knocked, “Chiara, can you hear me? Please tell me you’re okay.”
From inside he now heard her muffled voice, “Yes, I’m okay.”

He swallowed and thought of his next words, “I’m really sorry about…about trying to kiss you.”
He angled his wheelchair next to the bathroom door and with his eyes down he continued, “I’m so sorry but I…I really…I like you a lot and I felt like…”
He stopped and took a deep breath, “It seemed we had some moments today…when…when I thought…”
He stopped again and cursed softly to himself, “Shit.”
He took another breath and attempted again, “I thought you felt something…like you maybe felt something for me as well. I was probably wrong…and I’m so sorry. I know I’m not…I know I’m not really…”

He stopped and sighed and with his eyes down on his socked feet, his hands folded in his lap he just sat there, not expecting anything back from Chiara and debating if it was worth even saying anything else.

She opened the door and he was surprised for a moment and looked up at her. She stood there with tears running over her cheeks and she stared at him. He kept his eyes on her and he straightened himself up and put his hands on his push rims, not knowing what to expect but his instincts of maybe getting away taking over.

She stood in the door frame of his bathroom, the slippers were off her bare feet and her hair was still behind her ear. Her eyes were glistening with the tears she had cried and she just looked down at him with sad eyes full of longing.

Mark saw her painted toe nails and moved his eyes up to her. They looked at each other and he debated if he should apologize again.

Now she swallowed and she said with a trembling soft voice, “I have waited for you all my life Mark. I’ve waited for a man just as you are since I was a girl. A man just like you, in a wheelchair and paralyzed because the man you are is the only man I’ve ever loved and the only man I can ever love. And before you, there has only been one man as you are in my life and he broke my heart.”

Mark was stunned at her words and really didn’t know what to say to her. He didn’t understand any of it. He kept his eyes on her and now she stepped out of the bathroom toward him and he pushed his rims and backed up some. She came straight to him and her eyes stayed on him, tears still running out.

He really had no words and watched as she now dropped to her knees in front of him with her hands on his knees and she buried her face in between her hands and she wept. Mark didn’t know what to do. Slowly he moved his hands up to her head and he let his hand stroke gently over her soft red hair. She cried so much he was sure her tears were soaking his sweat pants. He didn’t feel it though.

He softly said, “It’s all right. I’m here, you’re here, that’s all that matters.”
He was unsure what to do and he didn’t know what had overcome her to act this way. But he knew he felt so much for her in those moments and he really never wanted it to end and he wanted to do everything in his power to stop her from crying anymore.

Chiara sobbed desperately and in between she mumbled, “I’m so scared Mark.”
He let his hand run over her hair and all he could say was, “Don’t be scared, okay. You’re with me, nothing will ever happen to you again.”
Eventually Chiara looked up at him with tear filled eyes and said softly, “You’re everything I’ve ever dreamt of.”

Mark didn’t know what to say to this, he was somewhat overwhelmed with her strange confessions but his eyes travelled over her face and his heart beat fast.

Chiara stood up and she disconnected her hands from his knees and he expected her to walk away just like she had done all day but instead of walking away she went over to his bed. And she sat on the edge of it. He spun his wheelchair around and looked at her from where he was at. The light in his bedroom was not on but only the light from the hallway and bathroom fell into the room.

He pushed his rims slowly rolling over toward the bed until he reached Chiara. She still sniffled her nose but her tears had subsided. He touched her knees with his knees and he looked at her questioning.

He was surprised when she then pulled her green top over her head and exposed just a black bra with a lace trim. Her hair hung over her left shoulder and her eyes were down.

Mark looked at her for a moment and almost whispered, “You’re beautiful.”
She leaned forward some and put her hands to his T-Shirt and gently pulled it over his head, throwing the T-Shirt over to the side, scanning his exposed upper body.

She then let her fingers run over his shoulders, chest, and pectorals and he kept his eyes down, taking in a touch he hadn’t felt in such a long time. Her fingers softly traced over his biceps and down his arms with his hands in his lap. She admired the various tattoos he had acquired over his time in the Military.

His breathing came quicker and he looked up at her and their eyes met.
She said softly, “You’re beautiful too Mark.”
He swallowed and lowered his eyes in embarrassment, shaking his head slightly.
She repeated in a soft voice, “You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.”
Now she moved her hands and she climbed onto this bed and leaned up to the headboard, looking at Mark, “Come up here.”

Mark wasn’t sure what was happening and he now got worried about everything. He had wished exactly for this and now was nervous at the outlook of anything happening.
He thought about the beers he had been drinking and he didn’t want to have an accident while in bed with Chiara.
She still had her eyes on him and now said softly, “If you need to cath, go ahead.”

He was stunned at her comment, wondering how she knew but after the moment of wondering he nodded somewhat confused and said almost inaudible, “Yeah, I’ll…”
He really couldn’t finish and just nodded and decided he needed to make his way into the bathroom before he would get in bed with Chiara.

He spun his wheelchair around and quickly pushed into his bathroom. After he had closed the door, he stopped in front of the mirror and hung his head, taking a couple of deep breaths, thinking about what was going to happen with Chiara and him. His nerves were trembling through the parts of his body where he could still feel it and his mind was racing. He really had no idea what he was going to do and how he was going to pull it off. At the same time, he metaphorically kicked himself in the butt at having attempted to kiss her earlier and now that it may actually happen, he panicked. The words Chiara had said earlier still rang in his ears, he didn’t know why she had said those things and what they meant.

His hands trembled when he washed them and eventually sat by his toilet opening the catheter package. He looked down at his penis as he inserted the tubing into his urethra and he thought about what he was going to do with his man parts or really what he was not going to do. And he really had no clue how this was going to go down. The urine flowed in the toilet bowl and he was glad he had cathed, because he was sure he would have had an accident if he wouldn’t have.

He finished up and washed his hands and looked at himself in the mirror again. He was nervous and insecure and he would have loved to give himself a pep talk but he only managed a soft, “You got this man.”

He then took one more deep breath and opened the door. He left the light on in the bathroom because there was no light on in his bedroom. Chiara was on the bed still and he was surprised to find her completely naked.


  1. Holy smokes that was hot. Thanks Dani! I can't wait for the next chapter.

  2. Nice update. I liked the transfers.... I hope you'll have a bathroom chapter soon. I know you write them very long and detailed :)

  3. Dynamite chapter. I really loved it!