God I’m such a coward. I’ve got the best woman in the world here and I can’t even be honest. She might have wanted me even after all my floors. God who am I kidding? She definitely would have ran a mile.
Suddenly, Sam jumped up in a drunken mess and I quickly realised I had been using him to keep myself up right. I instantly felt myself slid sideward and the next thing I knew I’d side planked the back rest. God I wanted to die. Why wouldn’t the floor open up and swallow me whole? Sophie laughed, turned to me and said, “how much have you had to drink? Come here, let me help you up you drunken sailor.” I stuck my hand out and used Sophie and the table to regain my balance. “Thank you. I’m obviously more drunk than I thought. Think I need to slow down. Water next for me,” I replied smiling but secretly knowing I’d only had one alcoholic drink.
“Ok, I’m off to the bar. Water is it,” stated Sophie. Just then Sam came back and plonked himself next to me. “You bloody idiot, you got up and I was using you as support and I face planked,” I snapped.
“Sorry mate! I didn’t think,” slurred Sam.
I looked at Sam with sudden fear in my eyes. “What’s up mate?,” Sam questioned.
“My leg bag. I forgot to empty it before we came out. Will you have a quick feel and see if it’s full?” I pleaded suddenly feeling very worried. Sam bend down and gave my bag a squeeze. I would have done it myself if I wasn’t worried about loosing my balance again. “I’d say about three quarters full. You want to go empty it?” asked Sam.
“No I’m fine. I’ll just not drink anymore,” stated Ben.
The night quickly flew by and I couldn’t believe how at ease I was with Ben. I laughed so much my belly hurt and quickly forgot about his rejection. I confidently said to him, “pass me your phone again.” Ben looked at me confused. “Don’t worry I’m not trying it on with you but I’m going to ring myself so I have your number because I’d like to stay friends.”
Ben smiles and replied, “I’d like that as well.”
“Right taxis here so we need to go,” explained Clare. I turned to look at Ben and said, “Bye” as I walked off.
The taxi had been gone 10 minutes when we arrived at Donna’s. She quickly got out of the taxi and waved goodbye to us. That’s when I realised that I’d left my coat with our house keys on the back of the chair in the pub. I apologised to Clare and we made a detour back to the pub.
Soon after the girls had gone Lisa and Nicola also decided to call it a night. Once they had gone I mentioned to the lads that I was tired and ready for home. All 3 decided they were ready so we started to pack up for the night. I quickly slid along the back rest and transferred into my chair which John had brought back to the table. Once I was seated I heard the unmistakable voice of Sophie say hi. I quickly looked up to see a very nervous Sophie. “I forgot my coat which has our house keys inside,”she stuttered. “Ben I’m confused, where’s the wheelchair come from?” Immediately, I saw the puzzle fit together in her head and her face change to disgust. I tried to control my emotions and did the only thing I could think of. I pushed as quickly as I could to the toilet and locked the door behind me.
“I’m confused, does Ben always use a wheelchair? Why’s he hid it? I don’t understand!” I babbled.
“Sophie to cut a long story short yes he does. He’s not got his head around it and feels he’s treated different when people don’t know’” explained John. “I need to go see him but I promise to come round tomorrow and explain it all. I’ll ring Clare to sort a time. Sorry you had to find out like this”. I stood there in shock and confusion as everyone disappeared around me.
“Open the door Ben. Open it now I’m worried. If you don’t open it In 10 seconds I’m kicking the door in and you are paying the bill for a new one,” shouted John. I knew he wasn’t joking so I answered him. “Are you on your own?” I asked feeling my voice begin to shake again.
“Yes she’s gone home and I told the lads to get a taxi. Now open up!” John demanded.
I undid the latch and slowly rolled back. John peered around the door and I took one look of him and lost it. He knelt down and put his arms around me. “God man you know I don’t do hugs or crying. You are privileged here!”
“I saw it. I saw the look in her eyes. Once she saw me In my chair she looked at me in disgust,” I sobbed.
“Don’t be silly! There was no disgust there. Confusion yes but no disgust,” stated John. “Let’s get you home and you can think it through and then you can message Sophie in the morning.”
“I’ll agree on the first part but no way can I deal with anymore disgust or pity so there will be no message from me,” I replied.
“Whatever you say,” sighed John.