Sunday, March 31, 2019

What It Was - Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Toby held me and kissed me hard. Passion took over our bodies and our minds as I sat there on his lap. Our hands were exploring each other; our lips were sealed around our tongues, playing the ancient game. My loins were aching for Toby, as I ran my hands through his hair.

Our kissing intensified and our breaths were rapid but restricted at the same time. Toby’s chest was rising and falling quickly as our kissing eventually faded into a slower rhythm.

We unlatched our lips. Toby was resting his head on the back of the couch and looked at me. His face was flushed. I slid my hands under his T-Shirt, feeling his hot skin and running my hands over his soft belly and up to his muscular pectorals. With his eyes he gave me permission and I pulled his T-Shirt over his head.

A well-defined chest presented in front of my longing eyes, his pecs toned, his arms strong and muscular with noticeable biceps and strong shoulders. I ran my hands over his clear and naturally tanned skin, a soft fluff of light hair covered his chest and slightly darker hair surrounded his nipples. Around his neck he wore a black leather band necklace with a small rock tied into it with a complicated braided knot. 

I took the rock between my fingers and inspected it, questioning and meeting Toby’s eyes.

He said, “From K2.”
I had no idea what he was talking about.
He took the rock between his fingers and explained, “One of the highest mountains in the world. It’s in Asia.”
My hands ran over his chest.
“Did you climb it?”
“I climbed with a team about ten years ago but not all the way to the peak. It was the hardest climb I ever did.”

I could see a flicker in his eyes. It was the flicker of remembering probably one of the most intense and important moments in his life. I didn’t know what to say. Instead I ran my hands over his chest and down to his waist. Toby obviously possessed a strong upper body; I saw very clearly that he worked out.

He scanned my face while he kept running his fingers through my hair. Strands of my hair were touching his belly, which was slightly distended over the waistband of his jeans.

I met his eyes and he smiled. I leaned down and we fell into a kiss again. I felt Toby’s hand under my shirt and the moment he touched my bare skin with his hands, I flinched. I hadn’t felt a man’s hand on my bare skin since Jordan. We unlocked our lips, but I moved over to his neck and kissed him. His breaths came quick and I could see his chest rise and fall. I kissed his neck and latched on to him with my lips. Under my shirt he ran his hands over my bare back. I flicked his ear with my tongue and he moaned softly as I gently pulled his earlobe into my mouth, softly suckling on it.

I hushed between kissing him, “Take my shirt off.”

He didn’t have to be told twice and soon my shirt was off and I sat there in my bra. Toby explored my body and his hands ran over my back and over my belly up to my breast. We kissed again.

Between my legs, I felt heat and longing, I wanted to feel more of Toby. I wanted him to touch me where I hadn’t been touched in a long time. I wanted all my clothes off.  
My lips travelled from his neck to his chest and to his nipples. I flicked my tongue in a circular motion around his nipple and gently pulled it in between my teeth.

Toby flinched and moaned over me, “God, Shay...”

I played with his nipple in my mouth and his body tensed up at my attention to this obviously sensitive spot on his body. I wanted Toby to unhook my bra, but I sensed his hesitation.
I let his nipple slip from between my teeth and looked at him, his face was flushed and he seemed shy.

I ran my hand over his face, “I’m okay taking this all the way Toby.”
He softly traced his fingers over my cheek, “Are you sure?”
I smiled, “Yes, I’m sure. You turn me a lot.”
He lowered his eyes and laughed softly, “I turn you on…you don’t even know what you’re doing to me right now.”

I nestled myself to him.

I asked him, “Does it feel good what I’m doing?”

He ran his hand over my back.

“It’s better than good.”
I hushed into his skin, “Do you like having your nipples bitten?”
He laughed, “I do, very much as long as you don’t bite them off.”

His eyes scanned over my face, “Shay, I’m really happy you came home with me. I was hoping so much that I read you right and that you were actually into me like this.”
I smiled, “I’m totally into you and from the first moment I saw you I was into you. You had me at “hello” as to speak.”
Toby still seemed slightly unsure, “So, this is okay for you, me and you like this?”
I softly touched his face, “Yes, I’m okay. I’m ready for a new chapter.”
“Good, I’m glad. I just don’t want to move too fast. Please tell me if anything is up.”
I assured him, “I will tell you, but nothing is up, I want this very much.”

With that, I put my mouth to his nipples again and he laughed as it apparently also tickled him. I was so happy to be with Toby.

Toby unhooked my bra, sliding the straps over my shoulders and letting the bra drop onto the couch next to us. I sat there and his eyes travelled over my breasts and our eyes met.

“You’re so beautiful, Shay.”
I smiled, “Thanks, you are too and you’re also super-hot.”

We laughed and Toby reached over to my breasts, letting his fingers circle around my hard nipples and gently kneading my breasts in his warm hands.  

His chest rose and fell with every breath he took as he scanned over me. He moved his face over and his lips touched my nipples as he licked around them and doing the same things, I had just done to him. I threw my head back and moaned at the sensations he inflicted on me. He pulled me to him and he licked and suckled on my nipples.

His hands ran over my bare back and down to my butt. He forcefully grabbed me, pulling me closer to him. His fingers dug into my skin while he kissed my breasts.
I leaned over and kissed his neck and suckled on his ear lobe again. Toby was focused on exploring my breasts, but I sensed a tension in him.  
My loins were longing for more of Toby. I wanted him all the way and I wanted to do anything I could to make him feel good.
I started moving my hips on his lap. As I pushed myself to him, I didn’t feel an erection though.

I hushed next to his ear, “What can I do for you Toby?”
Between kisses to my chest, he replied under quick breaths, “My nipples, my ears, my neck…”
I replied, “Okay, let me kiss you there again.”

He moved his mouth from my breasts. I flicked my tongue over his pecs and around his nipples again, taking one in between my teeth, not biting it but sucking on it hard. Toby let out a groan and dug his fingers into my back and butt cheeks, muttering my name.

He moved his hands around to my thighs and started rubbing along the inside of my thighs.

My loins were aching with arousal and as I worked his nipples, Toby hushed over me, “Shay, let me touch you down there, please.”

I put my hand to his head and pulled his hair some while I took turns gently biting his nipples.

He moaned under quick breaths, “Please Shay, oh God…”  
I hushed over his chest, “Pull my leggings and panties down.”

Toby put his hands to the elastic waistband of my leggings and my panties. For a moment I stood up over him and he looked up at me, as he pulled my leggings and panties down my legs. I stepped out of them, leaving me only with the warm socks he had given me earlier.

He smiled and breathing quickly he asked, “You want to take your socks off.”
I laughed, “No, my feet will get cold.”
He smiled, “All right…your body is only sizzling hot right now but I definitely don’t want your feet to get cold.”

Before we continued, I asked him, “Where is your bathroom?”
Toby seemed slightly disappointed but answered, “Down the hallway, first door on the left.”

I jumped up and hurried through the living room. I found the bathroom and peed and freshened up quickly. When I came out of the bathroom, I found Toby off the couch but in his wheelchair. I was confused for a moment. I was completely naked except for the socks on my feet.

Toby came rolling up, smiling, “Get on!”

I smiled and scrambled onto his lap, my legs stretched out to the side over the wheel as Toby pushed the rims and we rolled through the hallway and into the master bedroom at the end of it. It was also without carpet. The floor was tiled, but in a darker shade than in the rest of the apartment. There was a King Size bed, dark grey colored wood furniture, modern and simple. I didn’t have much time to spend on checking out the bedroom any closer.

Toby rolled all the way to the bed and as he parked by the bed, he grinned, “I thought it would be better to move this party into the bedroom.”
I laughed and climbed off him, “Good idea.”
He smiled, “I’ll be right back, why don’t you get comfortable and stay hot.”

Toby wheeled into the master bathroom attached to the bedroom and closed the door. I had a moment to look around. There was a dresser drawer with a TV on top of it, the window was large and had colorful shades in a red and grey design. The door to the walk-in closet was open and I got a glimpse of clothes and other items inside it. Bedside lamps of a modern design were on a small table on each side of the bed. In the corner of the bedroom a framed photo was on the wall. I walked up to it and realized it was a picture of Toby and Romy. She was sitting on Toby’s lap, he in his wheelchair. They looked very happy. She had been a beautiful woman with a warm smile.  

On another wall there were two abstract paintings and I identified mountains in them.

I felt cold and hurried it over to his bed, pulling the covers back and climbing in. I covered up and lay there, looking around the room.

Toby was in the bathroom for a few minutes, I heard the toilet flush and water run before the door opened and he reappeared in the bedroom. I was surprised to see him completely naked in his wheelchair and held myself up on my elbows in the bed watching him as he came closer. He didn’t say anything but came rolling over to the bed. I saw his naked legs; in comparison to his strong upper body they were skinny; his knees were bony sticking out with his naked feet on the foot rest. Toby’s body was different than Jordan’s, but I was completely amazed with him just the same.

The light was dim in the bedroom; just a standing lamp in the corner cast some light. Toby was next to the bed and I looked at him. His bed was the perfect height for transferring over. He drew his mouth into a sexy smirk as he prepared for the transfer.

It wasn’t difficult for him, he made it easily. I lifted the blanket for him to get under. I watched as he pulled himself into the bed all the way and moved his legs over with his hands. My heart was seemingly pounding so loud, I thought he could possibly hear it. I was mesmerized with his movements as he adjusted his position in the bed next to me. His legs were thin; there was not much muscle left and as he finally was positioned, he let his head fall on the pillow next to me.

My girl parts were trembling with arousal; I was wet. I didn’t hesitate and right away moved over Toby and lay on him.

We looked at each other and he asked softly, “Is it okay?”
I nodded and ran my hand through his hair, “It is.”

We fell into a kiss again and my body quivered at having Toby under me. I wrapped my legs around his lifeless legs and I pushed my lower body against his soft penis, rubbing myself to him. We kissed for a few moments and I moved to his nipples again and it didn’t take long and we were right back where we had left off on the couch.

Toby moaned with pleasure as I worked his nipples, the whole time I was rubbing myself against him and feeling his legs and his body on me.

He hushed into my ear, “Shay, may I touch you down there?”
I nodded while caressing his chest and he moved his hands from my butt around to the front and hushed, “Lay next to me again.”

I moved off him and lay next to him. He positioned his body sideways. I was able to reach his nipples and Toby had unobstructed access to my pussy. 

He rubbed his hands along the inside of my thighs and over my belly. I licked his pecs and bit his nipples, sucking on them and flicking my tongue around them. Toby was breathing fast and his hands became active inside my thighs as he neared my hot and wet pussy. I spread my legs and yearned for his fingers inside of me.

He gently traced with his fingers along my labia and merely the pressure of his hand made me gasp into his warm skin as I momentarily stopped working his nipples.

Toby found my sweet spot, encircling it with his fingers and pushing on it gently like he was ringing a door bell. I flinched at his touches. My pussy was ready to welcome his fingers inside and he soon worked his way over and when I felt his finger slide in, I softly bit his nipple and he groaned over me, hushing, “Fuck…”

We kissed while Toby was pushing a second finger in and then a third. I heard his fingers slide in and out of me and with his thumb he flicked my clit just right.

I sucked and licked his nipples and gasped into his skin, “Oh God Toby…yes…”

I tried to focus on his nipples as good as possible, while Toby slid his fingers in and out, wriggling them inside of me just right and bringing me close to my climax.

He was moaning over me, breathing quickly. Just as I held his left nipple between my thumb and pointing finger, squeezing it gently, and had his right nipple in my mouth pulling on it with my teeth, he moved his fingers inside my pussy exactly the way I liked it. With that he shocked my body into a trembling orgasm. My legs were twitching next to his paralyzed legs like they wanted to shock his legs back to life. I kept his nipple in between my teeth, moaning loudly and muttering his name into his moist skin.

Toby tensed up and threw his head back, letting out a groan, “Oh God…fuck…”

We were lost in the moment and nothing else mattered, it was only about us, and the world around us was far away.
My body rode the waves of orgasmic twitches. Toby had his head laid back on the pillow, his eyes were closed. His fingers were still sliding in and out of my soaked pussy but slowing down. Eventually he pulled them out and changed his caress into a gentle stroking over my pussy lips and inner thighs.

I lay next to Toby and nestled myself to him. He pushed his arm under me and pulled me close. He didn’t say anything, but just lay there quiet.

I gently kissed his chest and hushed into his skin, “Toby?”

When I looked at him, he slowly opened his eyes and the dim light in the bedroom reflected in his eyes. He brought a smile over his face and he weakly ran his hand over my hair and his fingers ran over my cheek. I caught my scent on his fingers.

I smiled at him, “Are you all right?”
He smiled and nodded, “I’m a lot better than just all right.”
His fingers ran over the side of my face and he said softly, “Shay, you and I will be so good.”

I softly moved my lips to his mouth and we kissed a gentle kiss.
Toby’s breathing slowed and I looked at his moist face.

“You were amazing with your fingers.”
He smirked, “Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it. I…you…I don’t know what you did…but it was amazing…”

I was happy to hear this.

I asked softly, “So did it feel good for you too?”
He nodded and ran his fingers through my hair, “It was insane…considering you know…I wanted to scream…I felt like my head was going to pop off and shoot through the ceiling.”
I pretended to pout, but smiled, “I would've not liked if you would've lost your head.”

We laughed together and fell into a close embrace entangling our naked bodies. I wrapped my legs around Toby’s legs. We lay there and held each other.

I was so happy and I felt so much for Toby. I was falling for him quickly.

Toby held me and we lay there for a long time, quiet and just enjoying each other’s company. Somehow it felt like we had not just met recently but like we had known each other for a long time. We shared a similar fate, having lost people in our lives, whom had been very close to us, people we had loved.

With this we already shared a deep connection and because of this, we understood each other.

There was also a connection of another nature between us; the one between a woman different than any other woman and a man different than any other man. Being different than others, we were connected in a special bond.
I felt completely safe in Toby’s arms; I felt happy; I didn’t want any of it to end; I wanted it to be like this for a long time.
Toby’s heart beat on my ear as I lay there on his chest. He softly stroked his fingers over my back and I traced with my fingertips around his nipple right there in front of my eyes.

“Are you okay, Shay?”
I pushed myself up and looked at him, smiling, “I’m okay. I’m happy like I haven’t been in a long time.”

For a moment my mind drifted to Jordan and I felt sadness, but when I looked at Toby and into his green lively eyes, I knew I was going to be okay. I had found happiness again. 

Toby smiled shyly, “Same. I’m very happy right now. It seems like it has been a long time since I have felt like this too.”

I ran my fingers over his cheek and through his hair, looking directly at him, “Tell me about Romy, what was she like?”

Toby scanned over my face and his expression was questioning.
Toby looked at the ceiling and back at me. He took a deep breath.

“She was…she was great. She was funny, but she was also very direct. She knew what she wanted. Like you.”

He stopped and seemed lost in thoughts.
I scanned over his face and my fingers traced over his cheek bones, feeling the light stubble of his beard.

Toby continued, “She was the reason I didn’t kill myself. After my accident, I didn’t see a reason to live anymore. I didn’t know how I could keep going without the mountains and climbing. I mean I knew I didn’t have a choice and I went through rehab and everything, but inside I was already plotting how to kill myself. My brother was the reason I didn’t go through with it right away. It was in a night of drinking with Cal - we were both pretty wasted and Cal talked me into signing on to this dating site for disabled people. I didn’t think anything was going to come from it but I created a profile. I probably didn’t seem like a catch. My profile probably sucked. I was drunk and depressed and I even had Cal take my picture while I was wasted in my wheelchair. I signed on to the dating site, but I had a lot of anger inside of me.
I forgot about the profile and went back a few days later looking through it and I was about to delete my profile again when I came across Romy’s profile. Being this was a disabled dating site, I somehow assumed everyone on there was disabled. I did like her facial picture on her main page and clicked on it and read through it, surprised that she didn’t mention a disability. Instead on the bottom of her bio she was explaining that she was not disabled, but was looking for a guy in a wheelchair, paraplegic preferred. I remember I read over her profile a few more times, because I thought I had missed her disability but there was no disability.”

Toby stopped again and we looked at each other.

I softly ran my finger over his chest and asked softly, “Were you freaked out?”

He shook his head, “No, just the opposite, I was super curious and kind of didn’t get it. I just didn’t think able bodied women would be interested in a guy like me. I really thought I would maybe get with a disabled woman or just not have anyone and be single. After the third or fourth time I had read her profile, I sent her a message and kind of introduced myself. It didn’t even take an hour and she replied, friendly and open. We wrote messages back and forth, and I explained to her that my profile was not very thought out, because I had been drunk when I had first signed on. She replied that she would like to get to know the sober Toby. So we planned a date.”

I smiled, “It’s good that she actually considered it despite your drunken Toby profile.”
Toby smiled, “Yeah, I guess I was lucky. She told me later that she liked how I showed my not so great side and basically put a very honest profile up and showing that I was still dealing with the paraplegia stuff.”
“So, you went on a date and hit if off right away?”
“Yeah, we did. It was crazy.”

We looked at each other and Toby ran his fingers through my hair, “How about you and Jordan? How did you meet?”

I took a deep breath and told Toby the story how I saw Jordan for the first time, pan handling under the Rite Aid roof close to my work place and how we connected. I smiled when I reminisced about the coffee run. I remembered Jordan and I smiled thinking about him.

I finished my story when I got the call from the hospital. By then I was crying and Toby held me close and my tears ran over his chest. We lay there and I cried silent tears. Toby just held me but I felt safe.

Toby and I were connected and our bond had been sealed that night at his apartment. I stayed the night and we had sex again and it was incredible. Toby knew exactly what to do, but just with the way he was he turned me on so much.

We showered together in his accessible bathroom, we drank and we ate in the middle of the night, we laughed together and I cried some more. Toby was amazing; he was such a strong man and I felt lifted; I felt desired; I felt like I could be vulnerable with him. He was in full control. I realized how deeply I had craved a man like him, a man strong and able to hold me and make me feel like I could let myself fall into his arms at all times.

I loved so much seeing him in his wheelchair, I couldn’t get enough of it and he knew exactly how to push my buttons. He definitely knew how to handle a devotee; Romy had taught him well. I didn’t have to explain; I didn’t have to hide how I felt and I could be myself with him. He knew and he made sure I was constantly reminded why I was with him.  

We spent the rest of the weekend together; I actually called out from my volunteer position for Sunday. It wasn’t a problem; they had enough people there.

Toby insisted on taking me to the Mission on Sunday night so I could get my car and drive home. I did have to work on Monday and even though we would have liked to spend even more time together, we knew our weekend had to come to an end.

Just like at my apartment building, there was a parking garage for tenants under Toby’s apartment building as well. We took the elevator down and got out on the garage level. Toby was pushing his rims and swiftly rolled through the garage.

He stopped at a Subaru Forrester, “This is my car.”

The car was parked on a disabled parking spot and there was lots of space on either side of the car.

I stood there and looked at it, “Nice.”
Toby explained while unlocking the car, “I still like to drive out into nature when I can and find accessible places.”
I really wanted to see how Toby got into his car and when I didn’t move, he smiled, “You can get in, you know.”
I smiled, “Is it okay if I watch you get in first?”
Toby grinned and tipped his head, “I guess it’s okay.”

I stood by and watched how Toby opened the driver’s side door.
He looked over at me and a smirk brushed over his face.

“You really mean it?”
I smiled, “Yes, I do. I want to watch you.”

Toby nodded in defeat and leaned over some to stick the key in the ignition. He angled his wheelchair next to the driver’s side seat. Hooking his arm under his knees, he lifted his legs and let his feet come off the foot rest. He pushed his butt forward on the wheelchair seat and positioned his right hand on the car seat and the other on the wheelchair seat. With his hands, he pushed off and tumbled over into the driver’s seat. I stood there watching the whole time and as he was in the car, he looked at me and grinned.

I smiled at him and watched how he took his wheelchair apart, Toby keeping his eyes on me with a smirk on his face. He stashed the wheels, the cushion, and the frame in the backseat of the car.

When he was done, he asked with a smile, “And? How was that?”
I laughed softly, “I liked it.”

He laughed and I walked around to the other side and got in. He looked over at me and we smiled at each other.

He asked softly, “You really liked watching that?”
“Yes, I did, I loved it.”
Toby laughed and shook his head, looking at me, “That’s awesome, you know.”

I nodded shyly.

I noticed the hand controls in his car. I was excited to see him drive. Toby started his car and we pulled out of the garage and onto the street. I realized right away that he knew exactly what he was doing. It was obvious that he had been doing this for a while already. He drove with ease like this was just another car.

We drove through town and made our way to the Mission. It was already late at night and when we got to the Mission it was quiet. Toby drove into the alley where I always parked my car. He put his car in park and let it idle right there next to my car. He reached over and took my hand in his, we looked at each other.

“Shay, this was the best weekend I’ve had in a long time.”
I moved closer to him and smiled, “It was wonderful. I had such a great time.”
Toby nodded and he squeezed my hand gently, “You know, I care about you a whole lot. I’m looking forward to us being together.”
“Me too. You’ve no idea how happy I am right now.”

Toby smiled and pulled me closer.
We were face to face and looked at each other for a few moments before Toby said, “I can feel it, this is going to be so good Shay. You and I will be so good together.”
“I know it will be. I can’t wait to spend more time with you, Toby.”

With that we closed in on each other and fell into a long kiss. I didn’t want to let go; I didn’t want the kiss to end; I already missed Toby before we had even said Good Bye.
It was difficult to part even though we knew we were going to see each other again. The plan was to be together again as soon as we could.

When we unlatched our lips, Toby laughed and mumbled, “Shit, I don’t want to let you go, Shay.”
I sighed, “I feel the same way but we have to. We both have to work tomorrow.”
Toby nodded and smiled, “Yeah, yeah…working, right…I guess it’s a thing and we won’t get out of it.”

I laughed and we kissed again quickly this time. We let go off each other. I grabbed my purse from the floor board. I opened the passenger door and right as I was about to step out, Toby grabbed my leg and I turned around and looked at him again, smiling, “Toby, what is it?”

He smiled, “Nothing, I just can’t help it…”
I assured him, “I’ll text you when I get home.”
He nodded, “Okay, I’m going to wait until you’re in your car. Drive safe, okay!”
“I will.”

I blew him a hand kiss and quickly got out, shutting the door behind me.

Toby waited for me to be in my car and pulled out behind me, driving through the alley to the main street. At the turn, he flashed his lights behind me and we parted ways, he turned left, I turned right.

I sat in my car and thought about everything that had happened over the weekend. I was falling for Toby, fast and hard. I couldn’t really grasp yet that we were together. I made my way through the city and out to Queen Anne. On the sidewalks I saw homeless persons here and there and I thought of Jordan.

I would never forget Jordan; he would be with me forever and even with Toby in my life, I would always have a spot in my heart for Jordan. The good thing was that Toby knew about this and just like he would always have a spot for Romy in his heart, I would always have a spot for Jordan. Toby had been understanding and empathetic to my situation and I was relieved about that. I felt the same for him and what he had with Romy and even though I didn’t know her, I liked her and I smiled at thinking about how she had laid the ground work for me as a devotee. Toby knew exactly what kind of woman I was and he was okay with it. I just knew he would know exactly how to make me happy.


  1. Love this story. Great chapter.

    1. I am so happy to read that you love the story. Thanks for letting me know, thanks for reading

  2. Thanks for the latest chapter. Always a great read Dani!

    1. Thank you Anon for letting me know, I am glad you enjoy.