Sunday, June 30, 2019

Not Gay - Chapter 1

There’s a knock at the door just seconds before Jay would have started the video. Finally! His pothead of a best friend has made it, late like always but there he is at last. Jay isn’t sure he could have waited much longer.

“Come in,” he calls over his shoulder, not bothering to get up because Chris knows his way around.

There’s silence, then there’s another sound, closer and louder this time, like something solid hitting the door to the living room. Jay throws a glance back, almost choking on his beer when he notices who’s in the process of coming in. He quickly sits up. “Uh…”

The electric wheelchair bumps a second time with the front wheels against the wooden door until the door finally swings open entirely. The dark-haired, huge guy in the chair steers forward until the door falls shut behind him and then releases the joystick. The electric motor stops whirring.

Jay blinks, still somewhat surprised. “Uh… hi, Darren.”

“Hi…. Jay.” Darren’s voice is throaty like always. He manages to jerk his head back toward where he came from. “I let myself in. The main entrance was open.” As usual, Darren’s speech drags a bit. His left knee moves up until Darren’s left foot dangles in the air for a moment, then he manages to put it back down on the footrest.

“Uh, yeah… Where’s Chris?” It’s probably a stupid question because how should Darren know but something has apparently short-circuited Jay’s brain.

Darren doesn’t even bother with an answer, instead he just shrugs his shoulders. His right hand, which was curled loosely in his lap, tightens at that. “I know I’m early but—” Darren’s gaze falls on the large screen behind Jay and goes slack.

Oops. Right.

“Um…” It suddenly occurs to Jay that they never invite Darren for watching porn. He’s really not sure why. Chris and Jay started it all a few years back, jacking off together every other month, just for fun. They had arranged to meet today, prior to the Super Mario session with the other guys, and Darren’s invited to the second part, like everyone else.

Jay watches Darren’s stony expression and hopes that Darren doesn’t think that they didn’t invite him because of the wheelchair. It really has nothing to do with that. Inviting others just hasn’t come up.

“I see I’m interrupting something,” Darren says flatly. His eyebrows are drawn into a deep frown and the corner of his mouth twitches, if in disapproval or because of a spasm Jay can’t tell. “I’ll be back later.”

Before Darren’s left hand can knock into the joystick at the end of his wheelchair’s armrest, Jay manages to find his bearings. “Darren… Uh…” A gush of wind hits the windows and Jay throws a quick look toward them. It seems like the rain has finally approached the city and it’s only an hour until the others arrive. There’s no point in Darren leaving. Also, Jay feels strangely guilty all of a sudden. “Please, stay. Chris should arrive in a few minutes. Um…  We could just, uh…” Geez, why can’t he get out complete sentences?

“It’s all right, don’t worry,” Darren grunts, about to turn the wheelchair around to leave the room.

Jay jumps to the edge of his seating on the couch. “Oh come on, Darren, don’t go. Please? At least take a beer.” He holds out a full bottle, hoping it will convince Darren to stay. He really wants to set this right, not only because he can’t stand conflict but also because Jay has always been a tiny bit afraid of Darren. He can’t really say why, it has something to do with Darren not speaking often, but when he does, hitting home hard. “We don’t need to watch porn,” Jay offers and shrugs. “Uh… What about smoking weed while we wait for the others?” It’s only his second favorite pastime activity, but it’s definitely better than pissing Darren off.

There’s a beep before Darren can answer. It’s Jay’s phone and he grabs it, throwing a quick glance at it before turning the screen off again. It’s a text from Chris, saying he’s sick. Probably too stoned to come, is what it means. Jay sighs.

“Don’t bother,” Darren drawls. “I can see you need to let off some pressure. I don’t want to hold you up.”

“Uh…” Jay says, but before Darren can steer the wheelchair across the room, he quickly adds: “Well, you could stay and… You know…? We’re both men. I’ve got awesome stuff on here.” He pats the laptop that’s connected to the projector.

Darren freezes and the wheelchair stops abruptly. He turns his head around slowly to look at Jay. “You’d like me to stay to watch porn with you?” His eyes are dark but there’s a wry grin in the corners of his lips.

“Um…” Jay swallows. “Yup. If you’d like?” He really doesn’t know what could speak against it. He’s known Darren for a few years now. He’s one of Chris’s colleagues, working in IT, doing god-knows-what. They regularly meet for movie nights and games with the other guys, and although Jay and Darren have never talked much, they aren’t complete strangers.

“You don’t need to join in, if you don’t want to,” Jay hastens to add. “Just see if there’s anything to your taste.” With renewed enthusiasm, Jay takes the remote control and switches to the overview of his porn selection. For a second he’s not sure if he should be embarrassed by or proud of the number of videos his collection offers. It’s grown quite extensively since Jay and Chris have established this as a regular thing.

“What do you usually like?” Jay zaps through his own favorites. “Here, I’ve got this great video with three girls doing one guy…” He looks up at Darren, trying to gauge his reaction. “Maybe we’ll start with that?”

Darren chuckles quietly. “Jay, I don’t—”

“Please?” Jay whines. He doesn’t really know why he’s pushing it, but jacking off can only lighten the mood, can’t it? Also, he doesn’t really want to do it alone. There’s nothing weirder than getting off alone in front of the large screen. It’s almost as depressing as being alone in a cinema.

“Geez…” Darren shoots him an annoyed glance and sighs. “Fine. Choose whatever, I don’t really care.”

Jay beams happily. “Cool, man. I appreciate that. I promise you won’t regret it.” He opens a bottle of beer for Darren while the other steers the wheelchair closer to the giant couch facing the screen.

Jay fiddles with the cap of the beer bottle as Darren transfers slowly, first placing one foot after the other on the floor, then rocking himself out of the chair with his left hand tightly grabbing the couch’s armrest for balance. Darren shuffles a few small steps forward and sideways until he’s with his back to the couch and lets himself down with a small groan. His legs jump, pressed together at the knees, and his right arm trembles at his side.

Jay tries not to stare, he’s seen Darren doing the transfer many times now, and he has learned to act like it’s nothing. In truth though, he’s always been damn curious about Darren’s disability and he’s still not sure he understands fully what Darren can and can’t do. Darren doesn’t speak about it, so no one does, and Jay has managed to hold his tongue so far. Though it’s been hard because keeping quiet about the elephant in the room isn’t one of Jay’s strong points.

Darren leans his back against the couch, his left hand braced against the flat seating surface. “Let’s get started,” he murmurs, his eyes on the screen where the three women are currently pressing their boobs into view, unmoving since Jay hasn’t started the video yet.

Jay jumps to action at once and pushes a button on the remote control. Low moaning and quiet whispers from the girls fill the room, the bass from the surround sound system so powerful the sofa is vibrating a little.

Darren huffs.

“Good, huh?” Jay teases and puts his socked feet on the coffee table. Darren merely rolls his eyes in answer and reaches for his beer bottle. Jay has put it close enough for him to grab easily and Darren drinks, his fingers holding the bottle in a strong grip so it won’t slip with one of the gentle jerks his hand does.

They both don’t look at each other, watching the screen in unison as the video resumes. It’s not much different than watching porn with Chris, Jay realizes after a while and relaxes. He sips the rest of his beer while his cock in his pants stiffens. When Jay’s pants get too uncomfortably tight, he unbuckles the belt and gets the zipper down, slipping one hand under his boxers to cool his twitching cock with his fingers. The girls on the screen start pleasuring the man for real now, one is riding his face, one is sucking his cock and the other is torturing his nipples. Jay finds it easy to imagine he’s the guy and he leans his head back a little, moaning quietly. That’s when he’s reminded of Darren’s presence again.

Because Darren is completely silent and unmoving, he doesn’t even seem to be breathing quicker than normal. Jay tries to ignore that and continues watching the video, but after a while he just can’t resist anymore and he peaks sideways. It’s kind of an unspoken rule that you never look at the other guy jerking off to the porn video, because although they’re enjoying this together, it’s still somewhat private. But he can’t help it.

Darren hasn’t moved his left hand from resting on the cushions next to him and he doesn’t really seem to be watching the screen, rather looks past it gloomily.

Jay stills and pulls his hand out of his pants. “What’s…?” He clears his throat when his voice comes out a bit strangled. “What’s wrong?” he asks, visibly confused. If he takes pride in something it’s his video and sound system, and yes, he admits, his porn selection. Darren doesn’t seem to appreciate any of it, though, and that irks Jay a little.

Darren turns his head slowly, his dark eyes resting on Jay’s for a second before going to the screen. “Nothing,” he answers shortly, his jaw tight.

“Would you like to watch something else?” Jay asks, taking the remote control back in hand and stopping the video mid-scene. The frozen screen shows a close-up of the guy’s dick, with one of the girl’s lips around it. “I have–”

“No, this is fine,” Darren grunts, staring straight ahead.

“Oh… okay…” It doesn’t look that way to Jay. He bites his lips. “Um… do you need help? I mean, uh… with opening—” He gestures vaguely, wondering if Darren clothes himself. He has never seen him dressed in anything different than dress pants and a clean, almost creaseless shirt, because Darren usually stops by right after work.

“No,” Darren almost spits out. As if to prove it to Jay, he moves his left hand to his pants, roughly pulling at the button until it pops open. He fumbles shortly with the zipper but he manages to open it. Jay notices how Darren’s right, unoccupied hand lifts and hovers a bit over his thighs, fingers twitching slightly, before falling back into his lap when he stops moving again.

Darren glances at Jay who blushes and looks away quickly. In his peripheral vision, he observes Darren pushing his pants down a fraction with a suppressed grunt, his legs trembling as he tries to shift his weight.

Darren huffs impatiently and Jay takes it as a cue to resumes the video. He forces himself not to look over to Darren again, and instead picks up the bottle of lube from the table. With a released sigh he takes out his straining cock and coats his hands with lube. Pleasure ignites in the pit of his stomach as he strokes himself slowly and his head falls back against the couch. Out of the corners of his eyes, Jay can see Darren moving as well, his legs are trembling and he’s quietly groaning in intervals. Satisfied to know that the other is finally enjoying himself, Jay keeps his attention on the girls on the screen. His hand picks up speed and his toes curl in his socks at the delicious jolt of pain when he sneaks his other hand under his shirt to tweak his nipples. Jay’s breath hitches and his hips buck up, in rhythm with his strokes, his heart beating faster, heat curling in his stomach.

Darren grunts, the sound harsh and violent, and Jay head snaps around, unwillingly drawn to attention. Darren isn’t really watching the screen anymore, he’s hunched forward a bit in what doesn’t entirely look like a voluntary position, his eyes almost closed. His left hand jumps uncoordinatedly over his half-exposed cock and, with a jolt, Jay notices Darren isn’t able to wrap his fingers around the shaft, not because it’s so huge (although it’s really quite large now that Jay sees it out in the open) but because his fingers are twitching uncontrollably. Instead, Darren is aiming to rub his bent wrist over the underside of his cock, though his jerking legs barely let him. Now and then they kick hard against his arm and sent his good hand flying, making Darren press his lips together even tighter.

Jay hasn’t meant to watch but now that he has he can’t un-see it. With a pang of guilt he suddenly realizes why Darren wouldn’t want to jack off in front of him. Jay hasn’t anticipated Darren would struggle with it, or he hadn’t proposed him joining in. But would that have been really better? He’s still caught up in thoughts, his own business and video forgotten, when Darren manages to trap his cock between his arm and his belly, and hisses with surprised relief. He gets a few quick strokes done, his wrist grinding into his cock, and he grunts hoarsely. Darren’s head falls back and his lips part in an almost-snarl, revealing white teeth.

And holy shit, Jay’s neglected cock jerks in his hand as he perceives the pleasure, and pain, etched on the other’s face and he quickly squeezes himself, heat surging hot-white through his veins. “Fuck…”

Darren’s eyes fly open and lock with Jay’s wide, startled ones. They narrow and Darren’s mouth opens but before he can say anything his impressive cock jumps and empties itself over his stomach in long ropes of come that splatter up to Darren’s clothed chest. Darren’s face twitches and he tips forward even more, his left wrist pressing hard onto his cock while his body convulses.

Unable to look away, Jay strokes his own cock one, two more times, before his own orgasm hits.  His vision whites out for a second and his toes curl while he’s coating his fingers with milky come. Reacting belatedly, he strokes himself through it, his mind afloat with the image of Darren who is struggling to hold himself upright, chest heaving, his right hand clamped to his chest, fingers in a tight fist, and his legs trembling violently.

“Holy…” Jay comes to, with sweat on his forehead and blood still roaring in his ears. He lifts his head and winces as he notices Darren watching him, his face unreadable this times, his eyes so dark Jay is afraid to even say a word. He blinks and quickly looks away, his cheeks turning crimson red.

Geez, did he just…?

“Good video, huh?” Darren’s rumbling voice barely hides the dripping sarcasm. Jay hears him shuffle forward and plug tissues out of the box on the table, presumably to clean himself up. It takes a while with his terrible coordination, there’s erratic rustling and throaty grunts that cause Jay’s cock to twitch weakly again, and Jay doesn’t dare to look, listening to Darren’s breathing, still heavier than normal but so measured it’s almost unbelievable he just came hard a few minutes ago, in full view of Jay.

“We can do this again,” Darren says and Jay looks up at that, baffled. Darren, though, isn’t paying attention, he’s already in the middle of the process of transferring back into his wheelchair. Although his voice was firm, there’s a faint tremble in his limbs and it takes him decidedly more effort to get into his chair than it took him to get out. His shirt is still damp where the spunk hit it until almost up to his chin. When he’s seated, Darren lifts his stiff legs back onto the footrests one by one with his left hand hooked under the knees, before addressing Jay again. “I’ll join you later.” Darren directs his left hand to the joystick, the fingers crooked and slipping off it a few times before he finds purchase, frowning in concentration. The wheelchair turns around with a whirring sound.

Jay watches the back of it as Darren zooms through the open door and into the dimly lit corridor of Jay’s apartment behind it, and when he whispers “It's raining,” he isn’t altogether sure that Darren can hear it.


  1. Omg what a treat - AND it will be multi-chapter?! So damn excited to find out more about the weird dynamic between these two guys (the title already has me chuckling). This is such a tense and sexy chapter, whew.

    1. Hi Rowan! So glad to hear from you! I'm thrilled you like this first chapter. Yes, there will be more, definitely :) More tense and sexy chapter, hopefully.

  2. Wow, yea can't wait to see where this goes

    1. Somewhere real good, I hope ;-) Glad you like it, blueskye! So great to see all the familiar "faces" on here, btw.

  3. So good to read something from you again.

    1. Thanks Chandelier! Feels good to be back here.

  4. Original and electrifying. I like your characters a lot.

  5. Very interesting! Nothing like a dude rubbing one out on himself. For me nice image of Jay, Darren seems like he has some dark humor to him 😉

    1. Haha, Dani, right! Oh yes, I just looove guys with dark humor. It's pretty damn useful in life in general, too. Helps a lot.

  6. Love it! So happy to have you back

  7. Welcome back! Thanks for sharing. I'm interested in what will happen next!

    1. Thank you for commenting! Good to know people like this stuff.