Tuesday, June 18, 2019

Not Gay - Chapter 13

It’s a good thing Darren calls because Jay certainly wouldn’t have had the guts to.


“Hi.” Darren sounds like nothing can shake him and Jay wonders again how he always keeps his cool. “How are you, Jay?”

“Uh…” Jay isn’t really sure. He spent the night lying awake, replaying the scene of him kissing Darren again and then jerking off next to him. Blowing him. There were moments he wasn’t sure it had really happened, moments when he thought he wished it hadn’t. But then he smelled Darren again, maybe a last trace of him lingering in the air, and he could hear him gasp and groan, and feel him move around him, and his cock reminded him that it had been real. And that it had been wonderful. “Good, I guess. Yeah…” Jay notices that he has a cup of coffee standing in front of him, for god knows how long. It’s early evening and he’s passing the time in a nearby coffee shop until training starts.

Darren hums, it makes Jay’s phone almost vibrate a little and kindles something warm in Jay’s chest. “Good. I’m glad.” There’s a moment of silence on both sides. “So you liked it?” Darren asks.

“Huh?” Jay almost spills coffee onto his pants as his hand jerks, and he forces himself to put the cup down again onto the sleek table top in front of him, slowly. “What, uh… Yes?”

“I mean…” Darren moves and groans a little, probably adjusting his position. He does that regularly, Jay has noticed. “Was it okay… Me jerking you off…? It probably felt weird.”

It did feel weird, altogether, because it felt so good, but Jay senses this isn’t what Darren is asking about. He’s too distracted by his cock stirring in his pants at the thought of last night to answer, though.

Darren sighs. “I know I suck at hand jobs and I’m sorry if it wasn’t good for you. I wish I could do it… uh, normal. Guess we’ll have to do something else next time then.”

“You…? Oh.” So this is what Darren is calling about. For a second Jay thought they’d discuss his sexual orientation again, but no. Darren is having his own issues, something Jay had almost forgotten about. His cheeks heat now though as he is reminded of asking for Darren’s spasming hand, and as on cue his cock starts growing harder. He downs the rest of the coffee and crosses his legs, furtively looking around the almost deserted coffee shop. “Yeah, no worries, it was really…” Jay remembers Darren’s twitching fingers, the slow stutter of his palm on his cock, and he has to bite on his lips to stop a moan from escaping. The waiter throws a glance at him from behind the cash counter and Jay manages to nod his head at him. “Good,” he breathes into the phone.

“Oh. Okay.” Darren sounds strangely relieved and it makes Jay smile a little despite himself. Jay can tell the entire situation still nags at Darren, though, because he goes on: “I’m much better using my mouth. But if you prefer, I could bring the vibrator next time—”

“I don’t want the vibrator,” Jay blurts out and almost immediately notices that he has spoken too loudly, there’s a guy two tables further and he turns his head to look at Jay. Jay swallows. “I mean…” he goes on in a lower voice, watching the waiter approach with the bill. “I liked it. I really liked it. It…” Jay’s breath stops because his cock is so hard it’s actually painful. With clenched teeth, he smiles at the waiter and waits until the bill is placed on the table in front of him and the man has retreated before adjusting his position again. He throws pleas to his pulsing cock, trying to calm down, face glowing. The other guy keeps looking over, eyebrows raised. Plus, a boner isn’t what Jay needs at practice, clothes are too tight and fabrics too thin, and bodily contact is as good as guaranteed.

And of course Darren catches on. “Is this turning you on?” he asks, voice slightly tight.

Jay holds his breath, then lets it rush out again. “Uh… yes,” he admits, face burning now. Glad Darren can’t see him, Jay throws cash on the table and moves to get up, turning his gym bag so that it covers his front. “A little.” A lot.

“What part of it?” Darren pries. His voice has grown deeper and he talks slower, and Jay presses the phone to his ear. “Tell me.”

“Uh… Everything.” Eyes downcast, Jay squeezes past the narrowly placed tables.

“My hand?”

Jay’s stomach gives a little jolt. “Yes.” He groans a little as the gym bag chafes over his front. Damn, he needs to get off. “I liked your hand,” he mumbles. The guy at the table looks straight at him as he passes and Jay realizes he probably heard the last phrase. In that moment, Jay couldn’t care less.

“Tell me what exactly you liked.” This seems to be important to Darren.

“I…” Jay darts past the big-eyed waiter toward the restrooms. “I…” He licks his lips, searching for words. This isn’t what he’s good at.

“Please,” Darren asks, plainly.

Heat streams through Jay’s body and he quickly presses one palm to the bulge in his pants as he hurries down the deserted corridor. “Um…” The phone is precariously wedged between his cheek and shoulder. The door to the restrooms bangs open and Jay stumbles inside, checking with one glance that it’s empty.

“You aren’t at home, huh?” Darren says in a different voice. “Are you all right?”

“Y-yeah…” Jay mumbles and closes himself into a bathroom stall which luckily isn’t very filthy. He places his gym bag on the closed toilet seat and leans with his back against the wall of the cubicle, exhaling. “I’m all right. I’m…” His cock is begging for attention and Jay hurriedly unzips his pants. “Fuck.”

“You are really getting off of this,” Darren states, not without some astonishment in his voice. Jay tries to ignore him, taking himself in hand with a half-suppressed, relieved sigh.

“My condition affects my hands,” Darren says without prompt and Jay’s knees almost give out. He whimpers something but luckily Darren doesn’t seem to have heard it. “Even my left, it can be hard to be gentle with it. I can’t move it as I’d like to, sometimes not at all. Especially my fingers, they…” Darren stops himself, like he really doesn’t want to talk about it. “And if spasms get too severe it may be all like stuck.”

His hand rushing up and down his cock, Jay remembers to breathe, gasping. “Yeah…” he mumbles when he notices Darren is probably waiting for an answer. “I know.” He’s already close, thinking of Darren’s left hand, stiff fingers squeezing around Jay’s cock, trembling slightly.

“Is that what you like? What I just described?”

Jay whimpers, stalling orgasm for now to be able to answer, although his eyes are starting to water. “Y-yes. No. I don’t know…” He exhales, shuddering, forcing himself to focus. “I like that it’s… different. That’s… good. I like knowing that you’re trying—” Jay sucks in breath and bites on his lips to keep from coming. His cock twitches and pulses in his hands.

“When it gets rough, accidentally, does that bother you?” Darren’s voice is rolling through Jay and Jay wants more. “I’m sorry, if—”

“I like it rough,” Jay blurts out, then corrects himself, shaking his head. It bumps against the wall to the neighboring bathroom stall. He’s a little out of his mind with the need to come. “No, sorry, not in general. I like it rough when it’s you. I know you’re trying not to hurt me.”

There’s a second of silence on the other side of the line. “I am”, Darren says, almost whispering. “I would never deliberately hurt you, if you don’t want me to.” Then, when Jay doesn’t say anything more, Darren adds in a stronger voice: “Thank you, Jay.”

With his head still leaning against the wall, eyes staring at the ceiling, Jay opens his lips just to press out a few words and asks: “Can I…?” He doesn’t even know why he waited for permission but somehow it didn’t occur to him to come without Darren knowing.

Darren doesn’t miss a beat. “Of course,” he says, a small smile obvious even through the phone. “Please, Jay.”

And Jay comes with a little, muffled cry, and as he spills over his fist he imagines feeling Darren’s hot breath on his cheek and his broad shoulder slightly jerking against his own.

Darren is still on the line as Jay exists the restrooms, though they haven’t spoken much in a while.

“Are you heading out for training now?” Darren asks.

“Hmm…” Jay confirms, nodding toward the waiter again as he crosses the café, this time as good bye. The guy who watched him from the other table is still there and Jay can’t help but flash a grin at him before he slips through the door and outside. The guy will probably wonder for the rest of the day why a random dude smiled at him like that in the coffee shop. Jay finds himself chuckling to himself at that.

“You are in a good mood.” Right, Darren is still there.

“Oh, I wonder why?” Jay jokes happily, hopping down the curb to cross the street.

That has Darren chuckle as well. “Hey, anything important in training today?” he asks after a while, shortly before Jay enters the gym. Jay likes that he has kept his interest in Jay’s sport.

“No, nothing in particular. Though things are getting rougher as we are nearing finals.” The team has been successful in the last competitions and is currently on its way to its first chance at winning the state championship. Everyone is a little on edge, but at least today it’s just a normal training session. The trainer won’t make final decisions until next week or possibly the one after that. “Invitation to watch still stands,” Jay adds. So far, Darren hasn’t accompanied Jay to any training session or even just for drinks with the team mates afterwards. He tries not to feel down because of it. In the end, it’s not like they are dating.

Sure as well, Darren only gives a noncommittal sound at that.

“See you next week?” Jay asks as he shoulders open the door to the corridor leading to the changing rooms, loud chatter and laughter echoing already against the naked walls. It’s their regular meeting time next week.

“Yes, see you then,” Darren says. “Looking forward to it,” he adds with a sly grin in his voice.
Jay feels himself smile again and stops shortly before the door behind which the commotion is coming from. “Cool. Bye, Darren.”


The floaty feeling is more than Jay can ask for, he thinks as he pockets his phone and pushes open the door to be pulled into the usual feverish pre-training atmosphere behind it.


  1. Wonderful chapter. I've been checking daily since this is my current favorite story.

    1. Thanks so much! I’m sorry I can’t promise more reliable updates... I’m trying my best :)

  2. Oh happy Friday indeed! Best thing a girl could hope for. Wonderful chapter as usual.

    1. Thanks Queenkala, so glad you are still on board!

  3. This is such a great chapter! Being on the phone and in public has a kind of SM/forced chastity vibe, and watching Jay struggle to express his feelings is just as devvy as the descriptions of Darren trying to walk. I love how bumbling and clueless Jay is. And confirmation that he really is a dev! If only he knew a name for it.

    1. If only Jay knew, yes... He is a cutie, I love him too. And I'm glad this was as devvy as intended. Thanks, Devo Girl!

  4. Love it & thanks for the update. Hope u are enjoying your new adventure :)

    1. Thanks for letting me know you like it! Makes me happy :) And yes, I am! It's more work than expected, I feel like I spend way too much time in gas stations, car service stations, coin laundries, dump stations, and with finding public showers, buying groceries (trying to find a store that still has milk, bread, diapers...), cleaning, doing the dishes... But it's exciting and fun all of the other times.

  5. Oooooh so much delicious phone discomfort on both their sides ... These two odd cuties!