Monday, June 17, 2019

Not Gay - Chapter 14

The day Jay and Darren planned to meet for another session, Jay receives a text from Darren saying:

Wheelchair broke down. Sry can’t make it.

It seems obvious that Darren wouldn’t be able to drive across town without his wheelchair, so Jay has already settled for a lone evening home when it occurs to him: If Darren can’t come to him, why can’t Jay go to Darren? Jay really doesn’t know why this idea didn’t occur to him earlier and he is so excited that he almost misses the tired edge in Darren’s voice as he calls him.

“You want to come here?” Darren asks, repeating Jay’s request with skepticism. “You are aware it’s a long drive, right?”

“You do it every time we meet!” Jay protests, slightly disappointed that Darren seems far less enthusiastic than Jay had anticipated. Of course Jay gets that it must suck for Darren to be trapped at his home, but that’s exactly why he thought Darren would be glad to have a visitor.

“Yeah, for work,” Darren mumbles slightly defensive. “I usually stop by your place after.”

Jay furrows his brows, realizing that without his wheelchair, Darren can’t even go to work. “Isn’t that still the same?” he asks, a little tired of Darren’s reluctance. “If you can do it, so can I.” Why would it make a difference if he goes to Darren or Darren comes to him?

Darren sighs and gives in. “Sure, can’t really see why not. There’s not much space here though, just as a heads up.”

Jay wonders what that means, because his own apartment is small as it gets and if Darren lives in anything even smaller, Jay honestly wonders how he gets around in his power chair. It’s a serious challenge already at Jay’s place, there’s basically just one narrow patch between couch and entrance to the kitchen that Darren manages to navigate without problems. Jay doesn’t dare asking though, he’s glad Darren finally relented and he’s going to see it with his own eyes shortly anyway.

The drive to Darren’s is indeed a long one, though it’s just one line from the station Jay lives nearby, so changing trains is not required. After exiting the train in a quiet, suburban area, Jay follows his phone’s directions to the address Darren texted him. It’s already dark when he arrives at a single, handsome house at a broad street filled with other houses looking just the same, at least judging from the pattern of glowing windows turned toward the street. There’s a paved walkway leading through the front yard, with electric lights turning on as Jay approaches the large front door. Only one or two seconds after Jay rang the bell, the door is thrusted open. “Hi!”

Jay stumbles back and for a moment wonders if he messed up with the address because the young woman with the blond ponytail definitely isn’t Darren, when the woman announces with a board grin: “I’m Chelsea. And you must be Jay!”

“Uh...” Jay blinks, trying to sift through his brain for the moment when Darren told him he wasn’t living alone. Alas there had never been a conversation about that.

The woman has used the time to look Jay up and down with curious eyes. “Darren’s a bit slow on his wheels today, so I thought—“

“You’d sneak up at my guest?” A voice from inside the house, further behind the woman says and Jay immediately recognized Darren’s annoyed tone.

“I didn’t sneak,” the woman screams indignantly but with a grin, then turns around and stalks inside. “He rang the bell, I opened the door. That’s good manners. Isn’t it Jay?”

Jay isn’t sure what to say. He hears Darren snorting but it doesn’t seem like he’s very angry, more amused but determined not to show it. Glad he didn’t end up at the wrong house, Jay follows the woman with the ponytail inside and into a spacious living room. There’s a long table with several chairs along the windows and a large couch in front of a fireplace. It all looks much like a bigger family’s home, just missing the family photos decorating the walls.

“Yeah, welcome at my space,” Darren’s sarcastic voice sounds, much closer now, and Jay whirls around. Darren looks a little tired and still annoyed, but otherwise like usual. He wears casual clothes, a brown, knitted sweater and sweatpants. And for a moment, before it is replaced by a scowl, his face lights up as their eyes meet.

Jay is not entirely sure but it seems like Darren is happy to see him.

On second glance, there’s something wrong. Darren is on a lower level than he used to be, and it takes Jay a second to notice, why.

“That’s a replacement,” Darren says with a crease on his forehead and softly knocks his left hand against the wheel of the manual chair he’s sitting in. “Until the electric one is fixed.” Jay notices that he doesn’t seem to be too happy about the replacement. His posture is all wrong, definitely, he’s slumped in it and listing to one side a little. His left knee bounces up and down relentlessly.

“Hope they’ll be quick with the repairs,” Chelsea says. Jay almost forgot about her, occupied as he has been with Darren. She’s still hovering around near the table, nodding her head now.

“Right. You’ve met Chelsea then, Jay.” Darren waves his hand in Chelsea’s direction, vaguely. “She’s my housemate. One of them.”

“Nice to meet you,” Jay says automatically.

“Likewise,” Chelsea beams friendly at Jay.

Jay moves from one foot to the other, clearing his voice. He turns back to Darren. “What happened to your electric wheelchair?” he asks, trying to ignore Chelsea’s curious glance.

“Battery broke down or something along that line,” Darren murmurs, clearly not interested in the details himself. “Hope they’ll manage to repair it soon.” He inches closer to Jay, using his quivering socked feet on the ground to pull himself forward slowly. His right hand is resting curled in his lap, the left is hanging over the rim of the chair, but Jay isn’t sure he’s ever really using it to push. It can’t go well with just one hand, he assumes.

“I’m sorry,” Jay feels the need to say and Darren nods his head. There’s a moment of awkward silence.

“Weren’t you going to watch a video?” Chelsea, asks brightly. Jay looks at Darren, trying to figure out if she knows about the porn. From her teasing grin it could well be, but then it could also be just normal banter between the two.

Darren throws her a scathing look. “We were,” he says. “In my room,” he adds with some emphasis on the last part, directed at Chelsea

“Geez, sure. I get it. I’m not invited!” Chelsea laughs, makes a face at Darren and then vanishes, bouncing up the stairs. Not before throwing Jay another wide smile and winking at him.

“Uh...” Jay stares past her and up to the second floor. There’s no elevator in the house, he notices.

“Don’t pay attention to her,” Darren grumbles, his left hand groping for the rim of the chair. “She’s too curious for her own good.” He jerks his head to the side. “Shall we?”

Jay follows Darren down the long side of the living room, toward a closed door. The kitchen is on the far side of the living room, only partly separated by half a wall. The setup of it looks strange to Jay until he realizes that some counters are lower and the sink has no cupboard under it, for Darren to reach it better. By far not all of the kitchen looks remodeled, though. Jay guesses Darren doesn’t cook much anyway.

“Can I...?” The way Darren is moving forward, pulling with his feet and indeed pushing somewhat with his hand is slow and seems such an effort, that Jay can’t help but offer his assistance. Even if he risks Darren biting his head off.

“Sure, thanks.” Darren merely says to Jay’s surprise. He doesn’t really look at Jay, though stops propelling himself forward and places his feet up on the footrest. Jay checks the back of the chair and finds two large push handles. He grabs them and pushes Darren, who is surprisingly heavy.

“You have many housemates?” Jay asks as he pushes Darren.

“Two,” Darren says. “They live upstairs and we share the living room and kitchen on the ground level. This was my parents’ house,” he adds in an afterthought.

“Oh.” That explains a lot, though also raises new questions.

“My parents moved to something smaller once my youngest sister had moved out of here,” Darren answers the unasked question. “Said they didn’t need the space here anyway.” Darren’s flat laugh makes it clear that he doesn’t think that was the reason.

“How many siblings do you have?” Jay may have been correct with the estimate of the size of the family, he thinks.

“Two sisters. I’m a middle child.”

“Huh...” Jay, who has no siblings, wonders what that’s like.

Darren’s room isn’t large, it turns out, but there isn’t much in it either. There’s a mid-sized bed, a cupboard and an open shelf with clothes and books. There’s enough space between everything to navigate through with an electric wheelchair. From the size and location of the room, Jay assumes it was meant to be a guest room with en-suite bathroom.

“It’s not much, I told you,” Darren says defensively and with a side glance at Jay and Jay realizes Darren is anxiously awaiting a reaction.

“Uh...” Jay starts and rubs the back of his head. He can’t really see why Darren is so worried. None of their friends has it much better, he guesses. “It’s not like any of us live in a house, dude. That’s awesome, isn’t it?”

Darren shrugs but the strain in his back seems to subside a little. “Shared house,” he mumbles, not meeting Jay’s eyes. “And it isn’t technically mine.”

Jay stands around awkwardly next to Darren. There are no chairs since Darren has only limited use of them, so that makes sense. Jay assumes he could sit on the bed but all of a sudden this seems far too intimate. Instead, he takes to walking around the room, inspecting Darren’s belongings. There’s a surprising lack of personal stuff, although some things indicate that the room was used by someone - Darren in this case - when he was a kid or teen.

“Nice stickers,” Jay say, grinning and pointing to the lamp on the night stand, which has comic figures plastered all over it. He doesn’t mention he noticed the Pokémon book holders.

Darren chuckles. “Should’ve maybe bought a new one,” he admits, rubbing his beard with the back of his good hand.

“No, it’s nerdy,” Jay says. “I assume it’s cool now.” He gestures at the lamp like a seller at an auction.

Darren laughs out, shortly. “Then let’s assume that.”

Jay has finished his tour and comes to a halt next to Darren. He tucks his hands in his pockets. There’s still the option of sitting on the bed together while watching porn on a laptop, but it doesn’t seem right. Now Jay understands what Darren meant with his home having little space. Little private space. “Uh... you know...?”

Darren blinks at him, saying nothing and waiting for him to continue.

Jay nods to the living room behind Darren’s half open door. “We could, uh... ask Chelsea if she’d like to join us watching a movie.” He coughs when he notices his faux-pas, face burning. “Like... a normal one, you know. Not, Uh...”

“Not porn,” Darren says, completing Jay’s sentence, his eyes dark but his lips betraying a smile. He sighs and shrugs a little. “Guess that sounds indeed like fun.”

“Okay, good. That’s good. Then...”

They watch a Disney movie because Chelsea wants to watch it and Darren and Jay have no preference, or can’t come up with anything quickly enough before Chelsea feeds the DVD into the old recorder. It’s fun and anyway Jay doesn’t really care. He’s happy he can sit next to Darren who has transferred to the couch as he does at Jay’s place, and they share the corner that allows both of them to place their legs up on the broad extension of the couch. Darren’s legs shake and quiver incessantly, and Jay can feel the vibrations through the cushions. He also very distinctly notices Darren’s knee knocking into his leg once, upon a more forceful spasm probably. Darren mumbles an apology and tries moving away, but he only manages to sit up a little, his legs jerking more heavily. Jay moves his own legs out of harm’s way and chooses to pretend he didn’t notice.

Somewhere through the second movie Jay must have dozed off because when he awakes the room is dark around them. The movie has ended and the screen turned off. By the light of the street lamps from outside Jay can see the figure of Chelsea sleeping huddled in a blanket in the opposite corner of the couch. Jay notices then that he’s halfway lying on Darren, his cheek leaning against his chest, and pushes upright.

“Slept well?” Darren’s voice is low and slightly scratchy.

“Hmm...” Jay is too sleep-drugged to answer but he notices two things: It’s late, probably past the last train going back to the city center, and Darren has a boner. Darren tries to hide it by moving their blanket up when Jay sits up, but Jay spots the tent in Darren’s front anyway.

“Mmh...” Jay blinks a little, then has the guts to say: “I thought we were watching a Disney movie!” with a crooked smile, nodding toward Darren’s lap.

Darren pauses, his lips twitching. “I wasn’t watching the movie,” he admits then.

Jay blushes. How long had he been asleep anyway? Did he look funny while sleeping? Did he drool?

“You are gorgeous,” Darren whispers, still staring at him, and that has Jay blush even deeper. “Come here,” Darren says, begging Jay to come closer. “Just ignore... this.”

After only a little hesitation, Jay ducks under Darren’s lifted left arm and snuggles into his side. Darren is half sitting, half lying comfortably, with cushions propping him up on the other side. His legs seem still for once. Both yawn.

“It’s late, isn’t it?”

Darren nods. Jay could sleep here, he thinks. In Darren’s lap. But then a wicked idea takes hold of him. He hesitates shortly because it’s risky, but then where’s the fun?


Jay smiles into Darren’s side, letting the hand beneath the blanket slide further over Darren’s muscled stomach, tantalizingly slow but with determination.

“Jay,” Darren hisses a little louder, twitching under Jay’s touch, definitely turned on.

“Hush...” Jay quickly looks over to Chelsea who is still snoring quietly. The outline of Darren’s cock is defined and almost familiar as he lightly palms it. Darren gasps surprised and his left hand grabs Jay’s elbow harder. At that, Jay slips his hand under Darren’s waistband to slowly start stroking him. Darren groans, his right arm snapping to his broad chest. “Jay...” Darren protests weakly, but doesn’t try to move away. Even if Jay weren’t lying half on top of him he isn’t sure Darren could have gotten up. The muscles in Darren’s legs have started to tighten up, trembling slightly under the blanket, rendered useless.

“What?” Jay asks finally with a slight grin, faking innocence while continuing to wank Darren. He tries going slow, his dry hand only gripping Darren’s cock lightly, but the effect on Darren is huge. “Uhh, Chelsea...” Darren whispers, forming words with obvious effort, his eyes locked on Jay. “Don’t make her... wake up.” His head jerks with a spasm and a cut-off, pained groan escapes Darren’s lips.

“Then you should better be quiet, huh?” Jay blushes a little as he whispers that.

Darren moans almost angrily through clenched teeth, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment, involuntarily. “Shut up,” he manages to grunt finally.

It occurs to Jay that this could be a challenge for Darren, indeed. Jay hasn’t realized until now just how loud Darren usually is. But he ignores him, adding a twist on the upstroke that has Darren’s entire body twitch, lips pressed together. Darren’s left arm is curled tightly around Jay’s waist, his hand clenched into Jay’s thigh, like he’s holding on. He parts his lips, panting breath rushing out of his lungs, and throws his head back as Jay intensifies his strokes.

“Y-yes,” Darren grunts as Jay picks up pace. “That’s good.” Jay’s hand glides faster and faster over Darren’s twitching cock. It’s slick with precome and Darren is barely holding back deeper moans. His hips are thrusting upward weakly, meeting Jay’s fist in a desperate attempt to speed up things. The fingers of his right hand over his chest are moving in and out of making a fist, quickly, and his legs jump, clasped together tightly. “Damn, Jay, yes...”

Jay’s arm starts to hurt slightly from the weird angle beneath the blanket but he doesn’t lose rhythm, jerking Darren quicker as the other nears orgasm. Darren turns his head away from Chelsea’s corner of the couch, hiding his rapid, hot breath and rhythmic moans. Jay watches Darren’s face, wrecked by spasms, and finds him beautiful, especially when he closes his eyes, furrows his brows and comes with a guttural groan, his hips stuttering, his cock spurting hotly over Jay’s fingers and into the blanket.

They both lie quiet and unmoving for a while, listening to Chelsea’s even breath as soon as Darren’s heavy panting has turned down a little.

“That was...” Darren clasps Jay’s offered hand to straighten himself a little. He’s been sliding down the couch due to his legs moving still. “… unexpected.” He locks eyes with Jay.

Jay shrugs. “Couldn’t let you just... You know?”

Darren nods slowly, exhaling. “Thanks.”

Before any of them can do or say anything more, Chelsea stirs. She blinks her eyes and groans slightly, pulling the blanket tighter around herself while sitting up. “Gosh it’s late! I have classes tomorrow.” She gets up, yawns, and waves at them. “Good night, guys. Darren, do you need anything?”

Darren shakes his head. “Nah, thanks. Good night, Chelsea.” Jay is amazed at Darren’s even voice, nothing betrays that he just came minutes ago. Jay himself sits rigid, horribly aware of his close proximity to Darren, the drying come on his hand and the smell of it in the air, even though most of the mess is covered by the blanket.

“Good night, Jay!”

Jay blinks, needing a second to notice Chelsea is addressing him. “Um... good night.” He feels his face heat when Chelsea continues to watch him, smiling, but then at last she turns and leaves the living room. Her socked feet treat lightly on their way upstairs.

Jay feels suddenly very weak. “Fuuuck...” He lets himself sink back into the couch, pulling the blanket up to his chin.

Darren chuckles. “There, there... She’s clueless.”

Jay shakes his head, not entirely convinced, his stomach a little queasy. “That was close!” He gets all hot with the realization what could have happened if Chelsea had woken up earlier. Why did he have to start all this? He’s not usually this bold or straightforward.

“Well, I very much liked it, if that matters,” Darren says, having some of his sarcastic snide back. He watches Jay, amused but with a hint of concern. “Are you all right? You don’t look like you want another round but just in case, I’m game.”

Jay throws Darren a scathing look, or what he hopes is one, and then shakes his head, sighing weakly, his heart still thudding in his chest. “Na, thanks. Can I sleep on your couch?” The boner that has grown as he jerked off Darren has deflated due to the incident with Chelsea waking up and catapulting him back into reality. But he’s definitely not ready yet for sharing a bed with Darren. He also supposed that Darren needs the entire bed for himself, even though Jay could probably squeeze in everywhere. That has Jay wondering not for the first time if Darren’s spasms persist during sleep.

With Darren’s directions, Jay exchanges the soiled blanket on the couch and changes into one of Darren’s much too large shirts for the night. Darren visibly suppresses laughter as Jay exists the bathroom adjacent to Darren’s room and tries sneaking past him. “Shut it,” Jay mumbles.

Darren shrugs, his left hand propelling one wheel forward. “Didn’t say nothing,” he murmurs, shoulders still shaking, for once not due to spasms, Jay suspects. “You all set?”

Jay nods distractedly, his eyes on the ground. “Hmm...” Belatedly, he blurts out: “Do you need anything?” He saw the shower bench in the bathroom and the lowered sink, but he still isn’t sure to what extend Darren can manage on his own.

“I’m fine,” Darren says, “I’ve done this for a while.” There’s a glint in his eyes as he obviously bites back a less nice remark. Jay blushes, becoming aware of his stupid question.

“Good night, Jay.”

“Yeah, sorry, uh... Good night.” Jay is eager to hide his burning face and his ridiculous attire but he’s also not sure how many more nights with Darren sleeping on the other side of the wall he’ll be able to survive. Already now, watching Darren creep toward the bathroom in his manual chair, his right arm jerking and his feet trembling on the floor, he isn’t sure it was wise to turn down Darren’s offer.


  1. Lovis!!! I'm so glad that you and your family are doing well and that you've seen such generosity and caring in your travels during this time. I've been thinking of you a lot - although maybe it's the case that you are actually better equipped than many of us for social distancing?! I hope your kitchen can hold enough supplies if more stores start closing!

    Thank you for sharing such a delicious chapter in this stressful time <3 Sooo many hot lines here, and the manual wheelchair, eep! The final scene of them entwined on the couch, trying to be quiet, is insanely intimate and sexy.

    1. Thanks Rowan, I’m glad the chapter offered some distraction :)

      Our kitchen is rather small and should it come to a real lockdown, a motorhome (even a large one as ours) is the worst place to be. Especially with a toddler who, mere minutes from waking up, picks up her shoes and carries them to one of us, indicating that she wants out! :) Also having limited supply of water and gas, no washing machine and limited internet is not great for social distancing. But yes, currently it’s still pretty okay, we’ve made Las Vegas our base and take small trips from here, and should things become worse we could always leave.

  2. Jay, no! Just be bold and go get in bed with him!

    1. Haha, I can so picture you telling him that. The poor guy, he’ll be frozen in shock!

  3. Thank you for posting. I've really missed this story. Definitely needed a Jay and Darren fix!

    1. Thanks! Makes me very happy to hear and motivated to get going!