And then on one of their regular evenings, Darren is late. He’s never late. Jay only notices how unusual it is when he finds himself already standing behind the door when the bell rings.
“Did you miss your train?”
Maybe Jay opened the door too quickly or too abruptly, whatever it was, he apparently managed to spook Darren. His features lock up in a painful-looking spasm, his eyes flutter shut and his lips curl as his knees jerk upward.
“S-sorry,” Jay stammers and stares, rooted to the spot, in front of Darren.
With obvious effort, Darren directs his head forward again, his limbs still trembling. He manages a scowl at Jay, one that ices Jay’s inside to the bones, and then hits his left curled hand against the joystick so that the wheelchair jerks forward and past Jay into the apartment.
Jay immediately decides this is one of the situations he better doesn’t mention to Darren again and follows him into the living room. Beer and tissues are already on the table so there’s nothing to distract him as Darren attempts the transfer to the couch. Darren’s body is giving him trouble today, every time he leans forward his legs kick out and catapult him back into the chair, until he gives up trying to get out of it with a vicious growl.
It’s only then that Jay notices Darren isn’t in his usual business attire, but a long-sleeved, loose gray shirt and a pair of soft pants that look only slightly more formal than sweatpants. If he’s not altogether mistaken, they don’t get buttoned up but are held together around Darren’s waist with an elastic band. He wonders if Darren didn’t go to work today. Is he sick?
“What?” It’s only when Darren barks at him that Jay notices he’d been staring.
“Uh...” Jay blinks and shoves the beer bottle he just opened at Darren. “Beer?”
Darren squints at him with suspicion but then slowly extends his left hand, scowling again when he almost knocks the beer out of Jay’s grasp. He manages to grab the bottle securely after the second try, although his hand is shaking so much that a few drops spill on his pants and the carpet. Jay decides to ignore it and sits on the couch, this time more in the middle than usual because Darren doesn’t occupy space on it, and switches the screen on.
“All right?” Jay feels the need to ask, although he knows he should better hold his tongue. Darren doesn’t look at him, just nods, his eyes dark behind strands of hair that have fallen into his face. Jay has never seen him out of control like this, he notices. He tries to ignore the immediate tightening in his pants, tries to prevent the image appearing in front of his eyes of Darren looking wild, slightly exasperated, his hair ruffled up and sweat on his arms, pumping his cock vigorously, and starts the video.
Jay is so occupied with himself and trying not to think too much about Darren next to him, that he doesn’t realize that something is wrong until after Jay came with a muffled cry, almost suspiciously soon, without really noticing what was going on in the video, at all. But when he’s cleaned himself and finally finds time to take in his surroundings again, he realizes that Darren’s grunts have an angry edge to it. Jay manages to reign himself in but when Darren lets out a shout, he has to sneak a look over.
Darren’s cock is out, more than when he wears his dress pants presumably because the pants he wears right now are easier to shove down his hips in a sitting position. His legs are kicking, making the wheelchair rattle and sway dangerously and there seems no chance that Darren can bring any of his hands near his cock long enough to give it anything resembling a stroke. He tries to pin it to his stomach a few times but even that doesn’t seem to work. Still, his cock is painfully hard, so much that Jay hisses with sympathy at the sight. He doesn’t know how Darren is still articulate enough to swear in a state like this, he must almost be out of his mind with the need to come.
Jay is suddenly filled with guilt. He had only had his own pleasure in mind, hadn’t bothered to check for Darren, the bare sounds Darren made and Jay’s mental images distraction enough. He hadn’t realized how much Darren was struggling.
Jay notices the video stopped when Darren’s panting becomes the only sound in the room and he quickly turns away to restart the video.
Jay jumps and almost drops the controller. “W-what?”
Darren is attempting to stuff his erect cock back into his pants, his forehead glistening with sweat, his eyebrows a dangerous line. “Forget it,” he grounds out between clenched teeth.
“But...” Darren can’t really plan to go home like this, with a boner that would wake the dead.
“It’s not your fault,” Darren adds more quietly and tries to readjust in the wheelchair, and Jay’s chest constricts at that. He searches for something to console Darren but he can’t think of anything quickly enough. When Chris doesn’t make it to an orgasm it’s usually because his cock is too soft and his brain too muffled from weed to feel pleasure as acutely as necessary, and that’s never really a problem for him. They both laugh it off. But there’s nothing funny about Darren’s situation.
“I’m sorry,” Jay says but it’s already too late, he guesses, Darren has finally succeeded in covering himself up and turned the wheelchair around slowly, his hand stiff on the joystick. Jay can’t see if the outline of Darren’s cock is visible below the fabric of his pants, but then probably Darren’s long shirt helps concealing it.
“I’ll call you,” Darren says without a glance back, impatiently wrestling the door open.
“Don’t go,” Jay murmurs, but the guy in the wheelchair is already alone.
Darren doesn’t show up for a few weeks after that, not to their regular jack-off appointment, not to any of the console game events that Jay or Chris host. Jay is starting to lose hope and wonders if there’s any point in trying to contact Darren himself when one evening he hears the door bell and he just knows.
Jay gulps and his palm around the door handle grows sweaty with sudden nervousness. “Hi, Darren!”
Darren looks good, almost relaxed as much as that can be sad about someone with his condition. When he lifts his head, Jay notices at once the glimmer in his eyes. Darren is happy to see him.
Jay tries to smile not too wide, tries to dampen down the jump in every other step as he leads the way to the living room. He’s got wine out today and was preparing for a relaxed night, windows spread wide open to let the warm breeze inside.
“This is nice,” Darren says, nodding toward the room in general, with the curtains billowing in the warm air. Actually smiling.
Jay’s stomach does a double-flip and he can’t stop the grin that destroys his carefully guarded features. “Yeah, it is, isn’t it?”
If Darren chuckles at his enthusiasm a bit too amused, Jay doesn’t care. He flings himself down on the couch. “In the mood for a… um… video?” He bites his lips. “I had time to search for a few really good ones.” Jay watches Darren, hoping he isn’t destroying the good mood Darren is in.
It’s like Darren hesitates a split second and Jay almost suffers a heart attack during that, but then he nods. “Sure.”
This time the transition to the couch goes smoothly, or as smoothly as possible.
“Okay,” Jay says, flipping through a few video recommendations. “I’ve got this one, bet you like it.” It’s not up Jay’s aisle, the video. He has never seen it but it’s obvious from the description that it’s heavy on the male side, with significant male-male interaction. In a way though, he thinks that Darren deserves this, and he wants this to be his welcome-back present.
And just as well, Darren nods, if not as enthusiastic as Jay had hoped at least not disapprovingly, and that’s all Jay needs. The video really isn’t too bad, there are a few women involved, too, and the guys don’t turn Jay down as much as he had feared. Both Jay and Darren finish in appropriate time and from what Jay could tell, Darren enjoyed it as much as he did. This time he stays afterward, they share the bottle of wine and watch the night sky grow dark. Or as dark as it gets in the city.
“Thanks,” Darren says in the end, when the room is only dimly lit by the screen saver because they didn’t think about turning on the lights, and places his empty glass, a normal water glass upon his request, on the table.
“Uh… You’re welcome,” Jay says without a clue what he’s thanked for.
A few days later Jay phone rings one evening when he’s just about to get out of his apartment.
Jay didn’t look at the caller’s signature so he is a bit surprised when Darren’s voice is sharp in his ear.
“Oh hi, Darren!”
“Um… Are you busy in the moment?”
“Uh… I’m just...” Jay remains with the open door in his hand. “I was about to get out and… But...”
“Stay. Five minutes?”
There’s an unmistakable edge to Darren’s voice that makes Jay comply at once. He closes the door again and goes back to sit on the couch in the living room, sneakers and jacket still on.
“What’s up Darren?”
“I…” Darren inhales and it sounds like there’s a hidden growl somewhere in it. “Can you do me a favor?”
“Hmm?” Jay is starting to get worried by Darren’s behavior.
“Can you watch porn for me? Whatever you like?”
“Uh...” Taken aback, Jay blinks. “You mean… now?”
“Yes.” There’s a bit of an undertone there, as if Darren is growing slightly annoyed by Jay’s lack of understanding, but only a tiny bit so.
“Uh…” Jay checks his watch. There’s still plenty of time until his appointment at a party tonight and anyway... “Okay, sure. No problem.”
It doesn’t take long for Jay to find a video. Any video would do, in fact, because Darren’s urgent voice in Jay’s ear causes goosebumps to appear on his arms already.
“Okay, it’s on.”
“Can you...” Darren’s voice is suddenly hoarse. “Can you get your cock out?”
Jay has to suppress a whine at that. Darren’s question hadn’t been a command but still, Jay’s hands scrambles to open the zipper of his pants, shaking slightly as he reveals himself, already hard.
Darren inhales slowly. “Can you stroke yourself? Please?”
Jay swallows and almost keels over with the hot spark of pleasure behind his navel as he takes himself in hand. He bites on his lips and turns his mouth away from the speaker of his phone, so not to let Darren hear how turned on he is.
“Don’t,” Darren growls. He’s breathing heavily as well, it causes the line to give a crackling sound. “Let me hear you.”
Jay closes his eyes and pushes the thought away that this is a very, very weird situation. It feels right. How can it be wrong if it feels this right?
“Are you getting close?”
Stile wets his lips and nods, forgetting that Darren can’t see him. He doesn’t really watch the porn video flickering past in front of him on the screen, he’s too caught up in listening to Darren’s rhythmic grunts.
“Jay? Want to hear you, please.”
Jay exhales held-in breath and gets slightly woozy. “Y-yeah. Getting close.” He bites on his lips, hard, but there’s no denying he’s turned on like hell. He can hear himself now, can hear his own ragged breath, the slick of his spit-wet hand on his cock. It’s strange because he knows there’s someone listening, he knows Darren doesn’t even have a screen in front of himself that he pretends he’s watching, and for a moment he feels self-conscious about it all, his stroke faltering.
Darren hums disapprovingly. “Let me hear you, Jay. Please. Let me… let me hear you.” He sucks in breath, sharply, and the sound of fabric moving on his side of the line stops for a moment.
Jay’s cock twitches in his hands and he whines, a high keening sound he wasn’t aware he could make. He freezes and tries to stifle it immediately but then he hears Darren’s delicious groan in answer. “Yeah, yeah… Jay… This. Exactly this. God...” There’s more words, slurred and mixed with quiet noises as Darren moves in his own, jerky way, soft thumps and groans. Jay sees him in front of his inner eyes, sees Darren’s legs quivering and jumping, his left hand struggling to please himself, his leaking, hard cock begging for attention, his right hand spasming near his chest. Heat coils in Jay’s stomach and he picks up pace, his fist flying over his cock a blur in front of his eyes. He moans into the phone that’s pressed to his ear, afraid to miss any sound from Darren, inhibition gone out of the window with his desire to come.
“Are you close?”
“Let me hear it, Jay. Let me... hear….” Darren slow, slurred voice is almost pleading, desperate, Jay has to close his eyes not to spill his load.
“Darren, I’m… I’m…”
Jay doesn’t manage more words, he hears Darren groaning throatily on the other end of the line and comes, spilling over his fist and some landing on the couch, his fist pumping his cock vigorously. Darren’s rattling breath on the line stops for a moment before there’s a deep grunt, together with more rustling of his clothes and hoarse gasps. Then there’s silence.
“Are you...” Jay traps the phone in between his chin and his shoulder, reaching for tissues in his pocket with his clean, slightly trembling hand. The phone almost slips with the sweat on his skin. Did Darren finish?
Stile closes his eyes for a moment and breathes. So this has happened.
This time, Jay knows exactly what he’s thanked for.