Thursday, June 27, 2019

Not Gay - Chapter 4

By chance, Jay meets Darren again just a few days later, on a house party for a common friend. Darren is like he always is, a bit moody, a bit snarky, but all and all it appears like he’s enjoying himself. Jay and Darren have a brief moment alone in the kitchen, when Jay stumbles in to witness Darren try to pry open a beer can with his teeth.

“Geez, give that to me,” Jay says, laughing, and snatches the can from Darren’s grasp to open it. His heart stops for a second because Darren glares at him, but then the tall guy visibly relaxes and nods.

“Thanks.” Darren accepts the can back, holding it up for Jay to knock his own against it. “Cheers.”

Jay watches Darren take a few long pulls, then sink back in the wheelchair with a sigh, exhaling.


“Hey, did you see the amazing giant swing outside?” Darren asks, lifting the can to his lips again with an unsteady hand.

Jay blinks, confused. “Uh… no?”

“Want to check it out?” Darren doesn’t even wait, he pushes the can of beer against the joystick and zooms past Jay into the corridor.

Well, okay. Apparently they won’t be talking about this. Maybe that’s for the better, Jay thinks. This way it’s not becoming a big thing. It will be just this one time when they’d had something like telephone sex. Except it wasn’t really telephone sex, it was more like a remote jacking-off session, wasn’t it? Like something they’ve done before and Jay has already established with himself that those are all right. Right?

Jay’s head hurts and he decides to stop thinking about all this for tonight. He leaves the kitchen, too, shouting at Darren’s back to wait for him or at least reserve a space on the swing.

The next month following this encounter, Darren and Jay don’t meet at Jay’s home because Darren is on a business travel. Or at least he says so. When the next date for their session arrives, Jay is prepared for Darren to cancel again. He doesn’t know why, it’s not like Darren had send any signals that he feels uncomfortable with what they do. He doesn’t treat Jay any differently, either. But still Jay is on edge, prepared to lose everything that he just started to accept liking.

The day arrives and Darren hasn’t sent him a text yet to say he won’t show up. The evening arrives and no call that a meeting has been rescheduled. It’s on the minute that the doorbell rings and Jay hurries to open, surprised that he’s so surprised that Darren came.


Darren looks good, Jay notices, and that says something because Darren usually looks splendid. But the gray linen button-up he’s wearing is new, and it fits around his ripped upper arms in a way that makes Jay’s mouth water... There’s still something within Jay fighting against thoughts like this, in a way they seem wrong even if they don’t feel it. It’s not like he’s homophobic, or he thinks he’s not. No, it’s just that he doesn’t feel this way about any other guy, never has, so he knows for sure he isn’t gay. So what is it then?

“You’re going to start the video or should I?” Darren teases and Jay startles, torn from his thoughts.


It’s a good night but somehow Jay isn’t entirely present throughout it.


Since Jay isn’t a complete idiot, he’s started looking into buying videos for his collection that feature good-looking guys as well as good-looking girls. Darren seems to appreciate it, even if he doesn’t comment as Jay starts the first video with two guys in the main role. But if anything he comes even more violently than he usually does.

But Jay also notices that it’s not just the video that influences Darren’s performance. Some days are better than others, some are worse. When it’s a bad day, spasm-wise, Darren takes much longer to get himself worked up and reach orgasm, his kicking legs and stiff hand make jacking off extremely difficult. It’s more of an effort for him to transfer to the couch then, too, he often needs several attempts to get out of the wheelchair, with his left hand braced hard against the cushions and leaning forward, his legs trembling violently against his weight. He makes it over every time and never asks for help, and Jay doesn’t dare to offer any because something tells him he’d only receive a dismissive glare.

It’s on one of those not-quite-so-good days that Jay notices that there’s another factor deciding if Darren succeeds with more or less difficulties. Jay has been out and dancing till the morning of the day they meet, so he’s tired and a bit sore when he settles down on the couch. Darren has already transferred himself, the wheelchair is standing empty close by and judging by the non-stop angry tremble of Darren’s legs and the scowl in his features, he’s not entirely comfortable, either.

“Can we begin?” Jay asks carefully, hand already on the remote control.

Darren nods and gives a short grunt. His right hand curls in on itself and his lips twitch. Jay wonders if he’s in pain but he hits play anyway, knowing Darren’s impatience by now.

After just a few minutes it becomes obvious to Jay that Darren’s way to orgasm will be a stony one. His body is clearly revolting against being controlled, his hand slips from his cock just seconds after he’s found purchase, his legs are unruly and jerking. Jay tries to ignore Darren’s frustrated grunts, released from behind clenched teeth, but he can’t ignore his own body’s reaction to them. He’s not sure his cock has ever been this hard within mere seconds, the need to come is already so overwhelming he has to actively pace himself or shoot his load even before the actors in the video have managed to pull their clothes off.

Jay closes his eyes, but now all he perceives is Darren’s heavy breath and the rustling of his clothes as he moves jerkily. Jay’s cock is tenting his boxers, he hasn’t even freed himself properly out of fear touching skin to skin could lead to a suspiciously early end of the session on his part. To ease the pain, he presses his palm down on the bulge, hissing sharply through his teeth at the glorious spark of pleasure.

As if on signal, Darren growls. Jay’s eyes fly open and he sneaks a look sideways. Both of Darren’s hands are nowhere near his groin area and up to shortly before now he hasn’t shown any signs of getting closer. His right arm is flailing through the air, the fingers opening and closing on nothing, his left is busy keeping his jolting body upright, pushed into the cushions. But his cock is erect and leaking and it seems like it would only take a few strokes to make him come.

Jay directs his head to look forward again and tries to breathe through his nose, but the air seems to have thickened and heated up, pearls of sweat are forming on his forehead. He tries not to think of Darren next to him, who is on the brink of orgasm but unable to execute the movements that would be required, and buries his fingernails in his palms to refrain from moaning loudly. With a gasp, he sneaks one hand inside his boxers, his cool fingers lightly settling on his pulsing cock. Immediately his mind goes blank and he whimpers with the effort it takes to hold himself back and not succumb to the urge to give himself a few good, rough strokes. As if in answer, Darren howls, his body starting to tremble next to Jay’s, buzzing with pent-up energy.

Jay wants to pay attention to the screen, forces himself for a second to watch the woman giving a blow job to the man, but his brain can’t seem to connect. As he becomes more and more worked up and fails to hide his panting breath anymore, he realizes that although Darren isn’t watching anything but the screen, he’s listening, and not to the video’s sound. It seems to help him get there, Darren writhes and groans, and within seconds both men are close to orgasm. Jay’s hand on his cock is shaking, his cheeks feel hot and cold at the same time. Darren next to him has his head thrown back, his rock-hard cock bouncing with drops of precome rolling continuously off the tip, his hands helplessly clenching at his side.

The sounds Darren makes are so feral, Jay’s hand twitches suddenly, fingers closing tighter around himself and he moans when hot-white pleasure soars through him. It’s like a dam broke, he can’t control himself anymore, and he brings himself over the edge with a few precise strokes, hand slicking over his cock quickly. As he ejaculates, Jay bites into the palm pressed over his mouth to suppress a scream, but it comes out strangled anyway. He is almost too gone to really take notice of Darren, but Darren is loud when he chases his own orgasm and that’s what he’s doing, although his arms are flapping around uselessly. His cock is erect and flushed, slapping against his belly a few times as his body convulses, the couch vibrating with it. 

As Jay comes down from orgasm he notices on the edge of consciousness that Darren is still locked in what seems an endless release, his cock jumping, untouched, with ropes of come unloading, while the big guy howls hoarsely, his limbs trembling and muscles tight, his eyes closed. Jay feels like his insides are ripped out because his cock pulses weakly again at the sight, and he gasps and wrings out of few more drops of come, whimpering through clenched teeth, before collapsing into the cushions.


After that evening, Jay starts to observe Darren closer when they jerk off. Especially on days when Darren is worse, Jay feels like his presence helps. When Jay’s moans start to slip out, which happens even if he tries to prevent it, Darren’s erratic breath becomes deeper. Jay sees out of the corners of his eyes how Darren’s cock hardens, even if Darren barely manages to touch himself, when Jay is getting close. Several times they finish off only seconds apart from each other, Jay softly crying out when he climaxes and Darren groaning throatily just moments later, his left hand spasming almost as hard as his right as his cock empties.

He doesn’t come untouched again, though, but he always comes.

At first it feels weird to Jay, knowing that Darren essentially gets off to the sounds Jay makes when he pleasures himself, even though he knows it’s basically the same way around. But he doesn’t stop Darren, doesn’t dare to confront him, and since Darren doesn’t mention anything the like to him as well, they both move on, month by month, meeting to watch porn, while mostly just listening to one another. And after a while, Jay realizes he starts to feel comfortable and also a tiny bit proud of himself. Darren isn’t easy to crack, his shell is thicker than most people’s, he’s barely talking about personal stuff and he doesn’t seem to be interested in Jay’s. But in this one area Jay feels like he’s solved Darren’s code.


  1. Holy crap that’s hot. Oh. My. Goodness.

    1. Thanks a lot! That was my intention. Glad it worked :)

  2. Oh my god, Jay. TOUCH HIM!
    You're killing me, Lovis!! (In the best way possible!)

    1. Haha, Rowan :D
      Yes, right? It's frustrating, I want to grab and shake him. Maybe next time...

  3. You build your story's tension supremely. Very well done!