The One Who Got Away – CH 16 PT 1

Chapter 16

Part One: Radical Concepts

"But isn't he in a wheelchair or something?"

Oh God. Here we go. Kay took a deep breath.

"He is."

Now Stella sighed loudly, or more like groaned, giving her an unhappy look. "Oh Kay, no." She was pinching the bridge of her nose – as if she had just been told her sister was in love with a drug dealer.

Kay glared at her icily. "Problem?"

Their mother held up a hand, slightly shaking her head in confusion. "Hold on a second. Honey, are you saying you're in an actual relationship with that guy?"

"Yes Mom, in an actual relationship. Those are possible even for people with disabilities."

Her eyes suspiciously soft, she put a hand on Kay’s arm. "Oh Sweety. That's very noble of you, but –"

"Noble?!" Kay exclaimed, cutting her off right there. "Maybe you didn't hear what I just said: I'm in love with him. We love each other."

The statement seemed to do absolutely nothing: Stella still looked unnerved, and Mom still was still shaking her head in pity. Kay could just as well have told them unicorns were real. 

Stella was knitting her brow. "Is this about what happened between you and him years ago?" She gave Kay a serious look, knitting her brow. "Like you're sort of trying to prove something?"

Kay stared at her, momentarily lost for words. "Seriously, Stel?" she snapped. "What part of 'I love him' is so hard for you to understand?" She took a gulp of her wine, more or less slamming the glass onto the table after. Then she took a breath. Stay calm. Think of what Seth would do. "No one has ever made me feel like Seth does. He is the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last one before I go to sleep. Whenever something's funny, or sad, or just interesting, or whatever, he's the one I want to tell about it. And when I'm with him, I feel happy and complete like never before." Kay leaned back in her chair, arms crossed loosely – not in defiance, but in exhausted resolve, expectantly looking at them. Now what do you have to say to THAT?

She waited. Nothing. Just silence stretching across the table, both Mom and Stella awkwardly averting their eyes. Kay groaned. "God, normally being in love is enough of a reason for being in a relationship. But I guess that doesn't apply when it's with someone in a wheelchair."

Her mother lent her a somewhat embarrassed look. "It's just kind of difficult to understand, Kay," she said apologetically. "We're not doubting you care about the guy, but don't you think you could be confusing friendship for love here? I mean, it can hardly be a real romantic situation."

It felt like a punch in the gut. Kay stared at her mother in disbelief, and a part of her wanted to just walk out of the restaurant right there and then, like she had with Gideon. She clenched her hands into fists, unable to say anything. Just sat and stared.

"She's in love, Mom," Stella remarked wearily, as if it was bad news, sadly shaking her head at their mother. "Just look at her." 

Fuck you, Stella. 

The table went quiet. If not for chatter, clinking and traffic noise around them, one would have heard crickets. Kay's nostrils flared. "I'm so incredibly disappointed in the both of you." She couldn't even look at them, staring at the table instead. "I was prepared for you to be somewhat surprised, and I was counting on questions. But I seriously thought me being in a relationship with someone I love would count more to you than any reservations you have about wheelchairs and disability." She looked at her mother sharply. "Believe it or not Mom, it is very possible to be romantic with a quadriplegic. It's not like he's a different species. He's a man – a gorgeous one by the way – who had a horrible accident. Why on earth would that be a reason for me to rule him out as a partner."

"For most people, that would be a reason, "Stella threw in softly, and when Kay snorted angrily, asserted: "I'm sorry, Sis, but that's the truth. Kudos to you for apparently being less superficial than the rest of us, but you can't blame us for having trouble understanding it."

Kay looked at her deadpan. "Would you leave Paolo if he became paralyzed?"

Stella's gaze slipped for a second. Then she shook her head, squirming. "That's different. We're married."

"Ah, so you would stay with him out of obligation – not because you'd still love him? "

The older sister snorted. "No, of course I would still love him." 

"But what you're saying is: If you would meet him after he was paralyzed – basically your exact Paolo but in a wheelchair – you wouldn't fall in love with him?"

Stella opened her mouth, faltering, then sighed. "I get your point, ok?"

Somewhat satisfied, Kay turned to their mother, who looked overwhelmed and still somewhat confused. "Mom? Anything you want to say to me?"

Mom blinked at her glass of wine. She seemed to weigh her words carefully when she replied. "Honey, as long as you're happy. It's not what I would have wished for you, but it's your life." The half-heartedness of the statement was blatant, and Kay clenched her jaw to hold back another biting remark.

Stella seemed to decide to make an effort, at least. "So what exactly does it mean, being a quadriplegic?" she asked. "Is he able to… talk? Like communicate normally and all that?"

Kay's jaw fell open for a second, and she almost would have laughed. "Uh, yes, he's very much able to talk. His mouth isn't paralyzed."

"Oh", Stella nodded, looking relieved.

"Thank goodness" Mom threw in. "I wasn't sure if he was like those people who use a computer to speak."

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Kay shook her head with a groan. She couldn't believe this was her mother asking these questions – educated, worldly, the same woman who always donated to disability causes at Christmas. "Seth has a spinal cord injury," she said. "It doesn't affect anything above his shoulders."

Mom gasped. "He can't even move his arms?" she screamed, so loud that the people on the neighboring table turned their heads.

Stella hissed at her mother with a pointed look. Kay appreciated it. "No, he can't," she said calmly. "He controls his wheelchair through a mouthpiece."

"How does he eat?" Mom uttered in consternation. "And dress and wash himself and everything else?"

Kay raised her eyebrows. "Seriously?"

Mom simply looked at her, waiting for an answer. 

"Well, obviously other people help him with those things," Kay said pointedly. "And before you ask: No, not me. He doesn't even let his parents do his care, or his brother.'

"Then who does?" Stella asked. "Nurses?"

"They are called aides, or personal care assistants. People getting paid to help – radical concept, I know. He has a really cool guy named Brian who works full time for him. He does most of it."

Mom gazed at her wine glass again, awkwardly twirling the stem. Stella, also silent, looked down at her hands for a moment. Then she shook her head with a frown. "I mean… wow, Kay. That's just… I don't know. How does a relationship even work with all of those… issues. What can he even give you?"

Love. Happiness. The world. 

But Kay had had enough of this. "I have to go," she said tightly. "My break is almost over and there's an appointment I need to be at." She stood up, not meeting the other two women's eyes. "Thanks for lunch, Mom." She bent down and gave her a reserved peck on the cheek, then half-heartedly hugged Stella. The older sister looked like she desperately wanted to say something, but Kay ignored her. "Nice seeing you guys." Without looking back, she walked off the restaurant terrace.

Stella texted her not even ten minutes later.

"Please don't hate me! I'm sorry for reacting so badly to your news. I know you wanted us to be happy for you. It was just so unexpected. Would love to hear more about you and Seth if you feel like it some time. Love you"

Kay stared at her phone for a moment, then simply typed back:

"You should meet him."

There were three dots on the screen for only a short moment, then Stella's reply appeared.

"I would like that. Really."