Saturday, June 29, 2019

Not Gay - Chapter 2

Jay doesn’t tell Chris about that evening with Darren. He wouldn’t know what to say, he feels like his brain hasn’t finished processing what happened, plus he’s not sure he wants it to be repeated. That’s why, the next month, when Chris comes over with grass in his pockets and a joint between his lips, ready to watch another video of Jay’s porn selection, Darren isn’t there.

Friday, June 28, 2019

Not Gay - Chapter 3

And then on one of their regular evenings, Darren is late. He’s never late. Jay only notices how unusual it is when he finds himself already standing behind the door when the bell rings.

“Did you miss your train?”

Maybe Jay opened the door too quickly or too abruptly, whatever it was, he apparently managed to spook Darren. His features lock up in a painful-looking spasm, his eyes flutter shut and his lips curl as his knees jerk upward.

“S-sorry,” Jay stammers and stares, rooted to the spot, in front of Darren.

Thursday, June 27, 2019

Not Gay - Chapter 4

By chance, Jay meets Darren again just a few days later, on a house party for a common friend. Darren is like he always is, a bit moody, a bit snarky, but all and all it appears like he’s enjoying himself. Jay and Darren have a brief moment alone in the kitchen, when Jay stumbles in to witness Darren try to pry open a beer can with his teeth.

Wednesday, June 26, 2019

Not Gay - Chapter 5

A few months later Darren is late. He’s not that late, not like this one, disastrous time, it’s just a couple of minutes later than he normally arrives, so Jay knows he took the same train straight from work that he always takes. But it must have taken Darren a little longer to come the way from the station to Jay’s apartment and standing behind the door, waiting, Jay wonders, why.

Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Not Gay - Chapter 6

As has become custom, Darren and Jay don’t talk about the incident from their last jack-off session. The next meeting is without any remarkable interruptions, it’s a good day for Darren, he even makes a joke about Jay’s generous use of lube, and Jay defends himself, almost not blushing as they banter about the correlation of amount of lube, cock size and general skill. And so Jay almost chokes on his coke, lounging on Chris’ reclining chair, when, a couple of weeks later, he hears Darren say:

Monday, June 24, 2019

Not Gay - Chapter 7

It’s like the four weeks until Jay and Darren meet again stretch into eternity. Jay tries to make time go faster, he loads his evenings full with activity, goes running three times a week, meets with his downstairs neighbor for board games and spends his weekends drinking and dancing until his mind is numb with alcohol and physical exhaustion. But it’s not enough. Every minute he isn’t focused on a task, every pause in a conversation, every single time he comes back from running, sweaty and panting, and takes his headphones off, the mental images come rushing back. It’s like he’s there, he can imagine the sounds, the smell, the colors, in all detail: Darren next to him on the couch, his deep, vibrating voice guiding Jay, ordering him to reign himself in, to hold back. Calm, strong words, and the hitch in the back of Darren’s throat, the desperation breaking to the surface as he tries to bring himself closer, agonizingly slowly. Jay’s cock throbbing, the desire unbearable, ravaging, a need he hasn’t known before, almost can’t bear. And then Darren as he’s chasing orgasm, his breathless moans, jumpy movements, clothes rustling and Darren’s left hand slapping onto the couch, uncontrollable. The knowledge of Darren coming next to Jay with a suppressed grunt, while his eyes are on Jay’s steady hand and his cock, watching.

Sunday, June 23, 2019

Not Gay - Chapter 8

When Jay returns to the party in the kitchen, the air is so thick with smoke he wouldn’t have to worry about looking flushed at all. No one pays attention as he slides on his chair next to Darren’s wheelchair, not even Darren, though Jay is sure he noticed a slight worsening of tension in Darren’s right arm, his fingers flexing unwillingly. Several joints are passed around and Jay feels himself relaxing with every pull, his head filling with cotton, his limbs becoming heavy and warm. Conversation has slowed down considerably.

Update to Cabin Fever!

Hi all!  It's time for the weekly update to Cabin Fever!  I ended the last chapter on a cliffhanger... I hope you enjoy this one:

Chapter 9

Table of Contents

Saturday, June 22, 2019

Not Gay - Chapter 9

“Were you going to sneak out like a lover after a bad one-night stand?”

Darren’s hand clenches into the armrest as the wheelchair jolts to a halt. “Jay.” His head is thrown backward, hitting the headrest with a thump. “You’re already… awake?” By a jerk of Darren’s hand, the wheelchair turns around, rubber wheels squeaking on the smooth floor of the corridor.

Friday, June 21, 2019

Not Gay - Chapter 10

On the evening of that same day, Jay becomes restless again. Training helped keeping his mind occupied, but now after coming home, changing into more comfortable clothes, warming up leftovers and eating, he sits on the couch that he converted back from a bed, and longing thoughts of Darren occupy his brain again. Jay has bunched the sheets together in one corner of the couch because he somehow can’t bring himself to throw them onto the pile with used clothes. They still smell of Darren, it’s an earthy, masculine odor, and Jay thinks he could get high just from it alone.

Thursday, June 20, 2019

Not Gay - Chapter 11

“And then she gave me this!” It’s one of the guys, Elmer, coming back from the bar with a few opened bottles of beer in one hand and waving a napkin with the other. He’s grinning like he just won the lottery and when he places the bottles down hard on the table, spilling some of the beer, it’s clear he’s already a bit drunk. “Told you she’d finally cave. No one can resist this guy’s charm.” He points at himself and smiles, dimples carving deeper into his cheeks.

Wednesday, June 19, 2019

Not Gay - Chapter 12

“You are being ridiculous.”

“Darren?!” The question is obsolete, the large man in the wheelchair blocking the hallway leading to Jay’s apartment is undeniably Darren. He’s hunched over a little, hands tucked away into the sleeves of his jacket to keep warm, but his head lifts the moment Jay exits the elevator.

Tuesday, June 18, 2019

Not Gay - Chapter 13

It’s a good thing Darren calls because Jay certainly wouldn’t have had the guts to.


“Hi.” Darren sounds like nothing can shake him and Jay wonders again how he always keeps his cool. “How are you, Jay?”

Monday, June 17, 2019

Not Gay - Chapter 14

The day Jay and Darren planned to meet for another session, Jay receives a text from Darren saying:

Wheelchair broke down. Sry can’t make it.

It seems obvious that Darren wouldn’t be able to drive across town without his wheelchair, so Jay has already settled for a lone evening home when it occurs to him: If Darren can’t come to him, why can’t Jay go to Darren? Jay really doesn’t know why this idea didn’t occur to him earlier and he is so excited that he almost misses the tired edge in Darren’s voice as he calls him.

“You want to come here?” Darren asks, repeating Jay’s request with skepticism. “You are aware it’s a long drive, right?”

“You do it every time we meet!” Jay protests, slightly disappointed that Darren seems far less enthusiastic than Jay had anticipated. Of course Jay gets that it must suck for Darren to be trapped at his home, but that’s exactly why he thought Darren would be glad to have a visitor.

“Yeah, for work,” Darren mumbles slightly defensive. “I usually stop by your place after.”

Jay furrows his brows, realizing that without his wheelchair, Darren can’t even go to work. “Isn’t that still the same?” he asks, a little tired of Darren’s reluctance. “If you can do it, so can I.” Why would it make a difference if he goes to Darren or Darren comes to him?

Darren sighs and gives in. “Sure, can’t really see why not. There’s not much space here though, just as a heads up.”

Jay wonders what that means, because his own apartment is small as it gets and if Darren lives in anything even smaller, Jay honestly wonders how he gets around in his power chair. It’s a serious challenge already at Jay’s place, there’s basically just one narrow patch between couch and entrance to the kitchen that Darren manages to navigate without problems. Jay doesn’t dare asking though, he’s glad Darren finally relented and he’s going to see it with his own eyes shortly anyway.

The drive to Darren’s is indeed a long one, though it’s just one line from the station Jay lives nearby, so changing trains is not required. After exiting the train in a quiet, suburban area, Jay follows his phone’s directions to the address Darren texted him. It’s already dark when he arrives at a single, handsome house at a broad street filled with other houses looking just the same, at least judging from the pattern of glowing windows turned toward the street. There’s a paved walkway leading through the front yard, with electric lights turning on as Jay approaches the large front door. Only one or two seconds after Jay rang the bell, the door is thrusted open. “Hi!”

Jay stumbles back and for a moment wonders if he messed up with the address because the young woman with the blond ponytail definitely isn’t Darren, when the woman announces with a board grin: “I’m Chelsea. And you must be Jay!”

“Uh...” Jay blinks, trying to sift through his brain for the moment when Darren told him he wasn’t living alone. Alas there had never been a conversation about that.

The woman has used the time to look Jay up and down with curious eyes. “Darren’s a bit slow on his wheels today, so I thought—“

“You’d sneak up at my guest?” A voice from inside the house, further behind the woman says and Jay immediately recognized Darren’s annoyed tone.

“I didn’t sneak,” the woman screams indignantly but with a grin, then turns around and stalks inside. “He rang the bell, I opened the door. That’s good manners. Isn’t it Jay?”

Jay isn’t sure what to say. He hears Darren snorting but it doesn’t seem like he’s very angry, more amused but determined not to show it. Glad he didn’t end up at the wrong house, Jay follows the woman with the ponytail inside and into a spacious living room. There’s a long table with several chairs along the windows and a large couch in front of a fireplace. It all looks much like a bigger family’s home, just missing the family photos decorating the walls.

“Yeah, welcome at my space,” Darren’s sarcastic voice sounds, much closer now, and Jay whirls around. Darren looks a little tired and still annoyed, but otherwise like usual. He wears casual clothes, a brown, knitted sweater and sweatpants. And for a moment, before it is replaced by a scowl, his face lights up as their eyes meet.

Jay is not entirely sure but it seems like Darren is happy to see him.

On second glance, there’s something wrong. Darren is on a lower level than he used to be, and it takes Jay a second to notice, why.

“That’s a replacement,” Darren says with a crease on his forehead and softly knocks his left hand against the wheel of the manual chair he’s sitting in. “Until the electric one is fixed.” Jay notices that he doesn’t seem to be too happy about the replacement. His posture is all wrong, definitely, he’s slumped in it and listing to one side a little. His left knee bounces up and down relentlessly.

“Hope they’ll be quick with the repairs,” Chelsea says. Jay almost forgot about her, occupied as he has been with Darren. She’s still hovering around near the table, nodding her head now.

“Right. You’ve met Chelsea then, Jay.” Darren waves his hand in Chelsea’s direction, vaguely. “She’s my housemate. One of them.”

“Nice to meet you,” Jay says automatically.

“Likewise,” Chelsea beams friendly at Jay.

Jay moves from one foot to the other, clearing his voice. He turns back to Darren. “What happened to your electric wheelchair?” he asks, trying to ignore Chelsea’s curious glance.

“Battery broke down or something along that line,” Darren murmurs, clearly not interested in the details himself. “Hope they’ll manage to repair it soon.” He inches closer to Jay, using his quivering socked feet on the ground to pull himself forward slowly. His right hand is resting curled in his lap, the left is hanging over the rim of the chair, but Jay isn’t sure he’s ever really using it to push. It can’t go well with just one hand, he assumes.

“I’m sorry,” Jay feels the need to say and Darren nods his head. There’s a moment of awkward silence.

“Weren’t you going to watch a video?” Chelsea, asks brightly. Jay looks at Darren, trying to figure out if she knows about the porn. From her teasing grin it could well be, but then it could also be just normal banter between the two.

Darren throws her a scathing look. “We were,” he says. “In my room,” he adds with some emphasis on the last part, directed at Chelsea

“Geez, sure. I get it. I’m not invited!” Chelsea laughs, makes a face at Darren and then vanishes, bouncing up the stairs. Not before throwing Jay another wide smile and winking at him.

“Uh...” Jay stares past her and up to the second floor. There’s no elevator in the house, he notices.

“Don’t pay attention to her,” Darren grumbles, his left hand groping for the rim of the chair. “She’s too curious for her own good.” He jerks his head to the side. “Shall we?”

Jay follows Darren down the long side of the living room, toward a closed door. The kitchen is on the far side of the living room, only partly separated by half a wall. The setup of it looks strange to Jay until he realizes that some counters are lower and the sink has no cupboard under it, for Darren to reach it better. By far not all of the kitchen looks remodeled, though. Jay guesses Darren doesn’t cook much anyway.

“Can I...?” The way Darren is moving forward, pulling with his feet and indeed pushing somewhat with his hand is slow and seems such an effort, that Jay can’t help but offer his assistance. Even if he risks Darren biting his head off.

“Sure, thanks.” Darren merely says to Jay’s surprise. He doesn’t really look at Jay, though stops propelling himself forward and places his feet up on the footrest. Jay checks the back of the chair and finds two large push handles. He grabs them and pushes Darren, who is surprisingly heavy.

“You have many housemates?” Jay asks as he pushes Darren.

“Two,” Darren says. “They live upstairs and we share the living room and kitchen on the ground level. This was my parents’ house,” he adds in an afterthought.

“Oh.” That explains a lot, though also raises new questions.

“My parents moved to something smaller once my youngest sister had moved out of here,” Darren answers the unasked question. “Said they didn’t need the space here anyway.” Darren’s flat laugh makes it clear that he doesn’t think that was the reason.

“How many siblings do you have?” Jay may have been correct with the estimate of the size of the family, he thinks.

“Two sisters. I’m a middle child.”

“Huh...” Jay, who has no siblings, wonders what that’s like.

Darren’s room isn’t large, it turns out, but there isn’t much in it either. There’s a mid-sized bed, a cupboard and an open shelf with clothes and books. There’s enough space between everything to navigate through with an electric wheelchair. From the size and location of the room, Jay assumes it was meant to be a guest room with en-suite bathroom.

“It’s not much, I told you,” Darren says defensively and with a side glance at Jay and Jay realizes Darren is anxiously awaiting a reaction.

“Uh...” Jay starts and rubs the back of his head. He can’t really see why Darren is so worried. None of their friends has it much better, he guesses. “It’s not like any of us live in a house, dude. That’s awesome, isn’t it?”

Darren shrugs but the strain in his back seems to subside a little. “Shared house,” he mumbles, not meeting Jay’s eyes. “And it isn’t technically mine.”

Jay stands around awkwardly next to Darren. There are no chairs since Darren has only limited use of them, so that makes sense. Jay assumes he could sit on the bed but all of a sudden this seems far too intimate. Instead, he takes to walking around the room, inspecting Darren’s belongings. There’s a surprising lack of personal stuff, although some things indicate that the room was used by someone - Darren in this case - when he was a kid or teen.

“Nice stickers,” Jay say, grinning and pointing to the lamp on the night stand, which has comic figures plastered all over it. He doesn’t mention he noticed the Pok√©mon book holders.

Darren chuckles. “Should’ve maybe bought a new one,” he admits, rubbing his beard with the back of his good hand.

“No, it’s nerdy,” Jay says. “I assume it’s cool now.” He gestures at the lamp like a seller at an auction.

Darren laughs out, shortly. “Then let’s assume that.”

Jay has finished his tour and comes to a halt next to Darren. He tucks his hands in his pockets. There’s still the option of sitting on the bed together while watching porn on a laptop, but it doesn’t seem right. Now Jay understands what Darren meant with his home having little space. Little private space. “Uh... you know...?”

Darren blinks at him, saying nothing and waiting for him to continue.

Jay nods to the living room behind Darren’s half open door. “We could, uh... ask Chelsea if she’d like to join us watching a movie.” He coughs when he notices his faux-pas, face burning. “Like... a normal one, you know. Not, Uh...”

“Not porn,” Darren says, completing Jay’s sentence, his eyes dark but his lips betraying a smile. He sighs and shrugs a little. “Guess that sounds indeed like fun.”

“Okay, good. That’s good. Then...”

They watch a Disney movie because Chelsea wants to watch it and Darren and Jay have no preference, or can’t come up with anything quickly enough before Chelsea feeds the DVD into the old recorder. It’s fun and anyway Jay doesn’t really care. He’s happy he can sit next to Darren who has transferred to the couch as he does at Jay’s place, and they share the corner that allows both of them to place their legs up on the broad extension of the couch. Darren’s legs shake and quiver incessantly, and Jay can feel the vibrations through the cushions. He also very distinctly notices Darren’s knee knocking into his leg once, upon a more forceful spasm probably. Darren mumbles an apology and tries moving away, but he only manages to sit up a little, his legs jerking more heavily. Jay moves his own legs out of harm’s way and chooses to pretend he didn’t notice.

Somewhere through the second movie Jay must have dozed off because when he awakes the room is dark around them. The movie has ended and the screen turned off. By the light of the street lamps from outside Jay can see the figure of Chelsea sleeping huddled in a blanket in the opposite corner of the couch. Jay notices then that he’s halfway lying on Darren, his cheek leaning against his chest, and pushes upright.

“Slept well?” Darren’s voice is low and slightly scratchy.

“Hmm...” Jay is too sleep-drugged to answer but he notices two things: It’s late, probably past the last train going back to the city center, and Darren has a boner. Darren tries to hide it by moving their blanket up when Jay sits up, but Jay spots the tent in Darren’s front anyway.

“Mmh...” Jay blinks a little, then has the guts to say: “I thought we were watching a Disney movie!” with a crooked smile, nodding toward Darren’s lap.

Darren pauses, his lips twitching. “I wasn’t watching the movie,” he admits then.

Jay blushes. How long had he been asleep anyway? Did he look funny while sleeping? Did he drool?

“You are gorgeous,” Darren whispers, still staring at him, and that has Jay blush even deeper. “Come here,” Darren says, begging Jay to come closer. “Just ignore... this.”

After only a little hesitation, Jay ducks under Darren’s lifted left arm and snuggles into his side. Darren is half sitting, half lying comfortably, with cushions propping him up on the other side. His legs seem still for once. Both yawn.

“It’s late, isn’t it?”

Darren nods. Jay could sleep here, he thinks. In Darren’s lap. But then a wicked idea takes hold of him. He hesitates shortly because it’s risky, but then where’s the fun?


Jay smiles into Darren’s side, letting the hand beneath the blanket slide further over Darren’s muscled stomach, tantalizingly slow but with determination.

“Jay,” Darren hisses a little louder, twitching under Jay’s touch, definitely turned on.

“Hush...” Jay quickly looks over to Chelsea who is still snoring quietly. The outline of Darren’s cock is defined and almost familiar as he lightly palms it. Darren gasps surprised and his left hand grabs Jay’s elbow harder. At that, Jay slips his hand under Darren’s waistband to slowly start stroking him. Darren groans, his right arm snapping to his broad chest. “Jay...” Darren protests weakly, but doesn’t try to move away. Even if Jay weren’t lying half on top of him he isn’t sure Darren could have gotten up. The muscles in Darren’s legs have started to tighten up, trembling slightly under the blanket, rendered useless.

“What?” Jay asks finally with a slight grin, faking innocence while continuing to wank Darren. He tries going slow, his dry hand only gripping Darren’s cock lightly, but the effect on Darren is huge. “Uhh, Chelsea...” Darren whispers, forming words with obvious effort, his eyes locked on Jay. “Don’t make her... wake up.” His head jerks with a spasm and a cut-off, pained groan escapes Darren’s lips.

“Then you should better be quiet, huh?” Jay blushes a little as he whispers that.

Darren moans almost angrily through clenched teeth, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment, involuntarily. “Shut up,” he manages to grunt finally.

It occurs to Jay that this could be a challenge for Darren, indeed. Jay hasn’t realized until now just how loud Darren usually is. But he ignores him, adding a twist on the upstroke that has Darren’s entire body twitch, lips pressed together. Darren’s left arm is curled tightly around Jay’s waist, his hand clenched into Jay’s thigh, like he’s holding on. He parts his lips, panting breath rushing out of his lungs, and throws his head back as Jay intensifies his strokes.

“Y-yes,” Darren grunts as Jay picks up pace. “That’s good.” Jay’s hand glides faster and faster over Darren’s twitching cock. It’s slick with precome and Darren is barely holding back deeper moans. His hips are thrusting upward weakly, meeting Jay’s fist in a desperate attempt to speed up things. The fingers of his right hand over his chest are moving in and out of making a fist, quickly, and his legs jump, clasped together tightly. “Damn, Jay, yes...”

Jay’s arm starts to hurt slightly from the weird angle beneath the blanket but he doesn’t lose rhythm, jerking Darren quicker as the other nears orgasm. Darren turns his head away from Chelsea’s corner of the couch, hiding his rapid, hot breath and rhythmic moans. Jay watches Darren’s face, wrecked by spasms, and finds him beautiful, especially when he closes his eyes, furrows his brows and comes with a guttural groan, his hips stuttering, his cock spurting hotly over Jay’s fingers and into the blanket.

They both lie quiet and unmoving for a while, listening to Chelsea’s even breath as soon as Darren’s heavy panting has turned down a little.

“That was...” Darren clasps Jay’s offered hand to straighten himself a little. He’s been sliding down the couch due to his legs moving still. “… unexpected.” He locks eyes with Jay.

Jay shrugs. “Couldn’t let you just... You know?”

Darren nods slowly, exhaling. “Thanks.”

Before any of them can do or say anything more, Chelsea stirs. She blinks her eyes and groans slightly, pulling the blanket tighter around herself while sitting up. “Gosh it’s late! I have classes tomorrow.” She gets up, yawns, and waves at them. “Good night, guys. Darren, do you need anything?”

Darren shakes his head. “Nah, thanks. Good night, Chelsea.” Jay is amazed at Darren’s even voice, nothing betrays that he just came minutes ago. Jay himself sits rigid, horribly aware of his close proximity to Darren, the drying come on his hand and the smell of it in the air, even though most of the mess is covered by the blanket.

“Good night, Jay!”

Jay blinks, needing a second to notice Chelsea is addressing him. “Um... good night.” He feels his face heat when Chelsea continues to watch him, smiling, but then at last she turns and leaves the living room. Her socked feet treat lightly on their way upstairs.

Jay feels suddenly very weak. “Fuuuck...” He lets himself sink back into the couch, pulling the blanket up to his chin.

Darren chuckles. “There, there... She’s clueless.”

Jay shakes his head, not entirely convinced, his stomach a little queasy. “That was close!” He gets all hot with the realization what could have happened if Chelsea had woken up earlier. Why did he have to start all this? He’s not usually this bold or straightforward.

“Well, I very much liked it, if that matters,” Darren says, having some of his sarcastic snide back. He watches Jay, amused but with a hint of concern. “Are you all right? You don’t look like you want another round but just in case, I’m game.”

Jay throws Darren a scathing look, or what he hopes is one, and then shakes his head, sighing weakly, his heart still thudding in his chest. “Na, thanks. Can I sleep on your couch?” The boner that has grown as he jerked off Darren has deflated due to the incident with Chelsea waking up and catapulting him back into reality. But he’s definitely not ready yet for sharing a bed with Darren. He also supposed that Darren needs the entire bed for himself, even though Jay could probably squeeze in everywhere. That has Jay wondering not for the first time if Darren’s spasms persist during sleep.

With Darren’s directions, Jay exchanges the soiled blanket on the couch and changes into one of Darren’s much too large shirts for the night. Darren visibly suppresses laughter as Jay exists the bathroom adjacent to Darren’s room and tries sneaking past him. “Shut it,” Jay mumbles.

Darren shrugs, his left hand propelling one wheel forward. “Didn’t say nothing,” he murmurs, shoulders still shaking, for once not due to spasms, Jay suspects. “You all set?”

Jay nods distractedly, his eyes on the ground. “Hmm...” Belatedly, he blurts out: “Do you need anything?” He saw the shower bench in the bathroom and the lowered sink, but he still isn’t sure to what extend Darren can manage on his own.

“I’m fine,” Darren says, “I’ve done this for a while.” There’s a glint in his eyes as he obviously bites back a less nice remark. Jay blushes, becoming aware of his stupid question.

“Good night, Jay.”

“Yeah, sorry, uh... Good night.” Jay is eager to hide his burning face and his ridiculous attire but he’s also not sure how many more nights with Darren sleeping on the other side of the wall he’ll be able to survive. Already now, watching Darren creep toward the bathroom in his manual chair, his right arm jerking and his feet trembling on the floor, he isn’t sure it was wise to turn down Darren’s offer.

Sunday, June 16, 2019

Not Gay - Chapter 15

Jay wakes to hushed voices and orange light filtering through the curtains in the living room. He blinks and rubs his face before pushing up on an elbow on the couch, the blanket sliding from his shoulder. Over the back of the couch he spots Darren in his wheelchair, talking to someone in the hall. Jay doesn’t recognize the voice but he identifies the other person as a man. It must be Darren’s second housemate. Just when Jay sits up, the door falls shut and Darren comes wheeling into the room, alone now.

Father's Day Update to Cabin Fever!

Happy Father's Day!  In honor of Father's Day, here's another very exciting update to Cabin Fever:

Chapter 8

Table of Contents

Saturday, June 15, 2019

Not Gay - Chapter 16

Darren’s wheelchair gets repaired the next day, as Darren informs Jay via text on the evening of the same day. It’s good news certainly, but with his mobility reinstated, Darren has to catch up with work during the entire following week and the weekend, and then departs on a work trip at the beginning of the next week. Jay tries not to feel bummed out, he knows it isn’t Darren’s fault and in any case, he has no right to claim Darren’s time for himself.

Friday, June 14, 2019

Not Gay - Chapter 17

Despite the fact that it’s not convenient for either Jay to visit Darren nor the other way around, they find themselves spending more and more evenings and nights at the other’s place. Darren’s house mates don’t seem to mind if Jay crashes the one or other Friday on their couch, and they watch movies or play games in the evenings, and sometimes have breakfast all four of them on Saturday. While Julek seems pretty uninterested in Jay’s and Darren’s status, Chelsea can’t help but pry and usually only stops when Darren barks at her to mind her own business. But even that abates eventually and Jay isn’t sure it’s a good sign because she has given up, or a bad one because he finally made it into a category Chelsea can grasp. Though he is curious to know what she deduced about them he remains careful to keep his distance. As nice as they are, he feels only totally comfortable during the times he knows Chelsea and Julek aren’t present in the house. Fortunately, this isn’t all too rare an occasion.

“If I had known you were practically naked in my kitchen I’d have joined you earlier,” Darren mumbles from behind Jay who is busy at Darren’s stove, preparing eggs. Chelsea’s breakfast preparations have returned to a more normal level, toast and jam - another thing Jay isn’t altogether sure he should be glad about.

Jay turns slightly without stopping to stir and beams at Darren. “Why? Eager to prepare breakfast?” Having heard the door fall shut behind Julek and knowing Chelsea is visiting her parents, Jay didn’t bother this morning to dress himself. He’s still in the boxer short he slept in after having missed yet another last train back into the city the night before.

Darren grunts something and the electric wheelchair jerks closer with a whirr. Jay can see Darren’s brows moving together as he concentrates to position himself behind Jay without running the wheelchair into Jay’s calves. Darren is clothed like every Saturday morning, in a comfortable plain shirt and simple pants. Julek trimmed his beard this morning, Jay could hear them talk before the exchange student left, and Jay can smell shampoo in Darren’s hair as Darren approaches.

“What’s this?” Darren asks.

“Most people call it scrambled eggs,” Jay says, grinning as Darren’s left hand shivers up his thigh, settling at waist height. “But we can call it whatever if it suits you.” Darren’s unsure fingers trail up Jay’s back and leave goosebumps in their wake. He chances a look down and notices his boxer shorts tenting already.

“Okay. Whatever.”

Jay rolls his eyes but chuckles, and then shrieks a little as Darren’s hand suddenly squeezes his butt. “Hey!” He playfully swats at Darren. “No sweets before eating.” His cock screams something else.

“Not fair,” Darren grumbles and the hand vanishes from Jay’s butt. He had sounded slightly constricted and glancing back Jay confirms that Darren’s retreat hasn’t been entirely voluntary. Mild spasms have forced him to slump against the backrest of the wheelchair again, his legs kicking out lazily. Darren notices Jay watching and waves his contracted hand curtly. “Come here,” he grunts. “This stove isn’t your height, anyway.”

He’s right, the lowered stove is awkward to use for Jay, even though he isn’t very tall. With a shrug, Jay slides into Darren’s lap. Though not before turning the heat down, mindfully.

“Mmmh...” Darren nuzzles Jay’s neck and Jay shudders at the sensation, closing his eyes. A breathy moan falls from his lips as Darren starts nipping at his earlobe playfully.

Because Jay knows the two of them to be alone he’s much more uninhibited than otherwise. But it still took him a while to melt into Darren’s touch just like that, letting himself go, without thinking it strange anymore. In fact, he doesn’t think at all, just revels in the sensation, following where his arousal leads him.

Jay protests as Darren sticks his tongue into his ear, but only feebly because it feels curiously good.

“I determined I’m old enough to have a little desert before eating,” Darren mumbles, breathing hotly against Jay’s neck. Jay hums in agreement, wiggling back against Darren. “I promise I’ll still be hungry afterward,” Darren goes on. Jay chuckles at that because that’s true as hell in all senses of the word but a moment later he is back to writhing in Darren’s lap, growing more desperate as Darren kisses and licks his way down the side of Jay’s naked neck and shoulder.

“Have you ever thought about what it would have been like if we’d been caught that time in the dancing hall?” Darren murmurs, the fingers of his left hand inching up Jay’s thigh. Jay opens his legs a little, invitingly, his cock aching. At Darren’s question he stiffens suddenly, with horror at the thought first, but then with the surprising stab of arousal it sends through him. He had tried not to think of it so far. It had been way too close for his liking. But then... It had also been exciting, he realizes. Not that he’d repeat anything the like if he can avoid it, but the heat of the moment, the rush they’d been in, the fear of detection... It had added something spicy. Jay moans louder thinking of it, waves of heat traveling through his body.

“I like to think of it from time to time,” Darren goes on, almost musing. Jay wonders where he’s taking this and bites on his lips, shivering. “You know? If we’d been caught... you could have said that...” His fingers slip to the inside of Jay’s thigh, moving higher. Jay whimpers, his legs starting to tremble a little, and wills Darren’s hand to move faster, continuing to squirm back against the hardness he can feel in Darren’s pants in his back.

“You could have said you had to help the cripple. That I was horny and desperate and couldn’t finish myself off. You were just acting out of charity, so to say.” Darren chuckles a little at that, so Jay knows he’s only joking, but he knows about the true background in his words and it makes him dizzy with want.

“Darren, please...” Darren’s hand has finally settled on Jay’s cock, his palm squeezing down gently, quivering. Jay stares at the hand, licking his lips. “Darren, shit...”

“Right? No one would have dared to object.” Darren has a good day, his hand wiggles and slips under the waistband of Jay’s boxer shorts on its own, and his fingers flit along Jay’s rigid cock, making Jay gasp and groan. “Or...,” Darren continues, his voice rumbling, “you could have told them the truth.” His fingers close around Jay’s member, squeezing weakly and trembling, but more nimble than Jay has seen them in weeks. Jay almost doesn’t dare to breathe, shivering with anticipation in Darren’s lap.

“You could have told them how you enjoy this guy, that you can’t get enough of him.”

Jay whimpers and thrusts his hips up, his cock sliding through Darren’s lose fist, precome rolling from the tip and soaking into the boxer shorts. Jay shudders and arches into Darren’s touch, trying to intensify the sensation, panting.

“Isn’t that true?”

Jay blinks and nods through the haze, his cheeks hot. When Darren doesn’t continue he feels himself compelled to stammer: “Y-yes, that’s right. So true, can’t get enough. Right, yes.”

Darren chuckles behind him, the fist around Jay’s cock tightening until Jay gasps with pain. It’s not voluntary, a second later Darren’s hand is off, arm jerking away, and Darren swears under his breath. He manages to put his hand back in Jay’s lap after a few moments and Jay helps him fit it under his boxer shorts and around his cock again, marveling at Darren’s control today. Jay moans loudly as soon as he can feel Darren’s fingers around himself again.

“You could have told them that you’d prefer this guy’s hand over any girl’s, don’t you? That he turns you on, spasms and all.”

Jay can barely speak without screaming, Darren’s fingers squeezing just right around him. He nods his head vigorously, breath coming in more and more desperate gasps. “Oh yes, Darren, so good, so... God!”

Darren starts stroking Jay slowly, executing the movement from his shoulder, his legs tightening under Jay. His fist jerks along Jay’s cock, arrhythmically, punching high-pitched moans out of Jay’s chest. Jay’s hips jerk up to aid Darren’s movements while his hands clutch at the armrest of the wheelchair, bracing himself.

“God, look at you,” Darren’s breath has grown heavy, too, his speech starts slurring. Jay notices his fist slowing down as the muscles in his arm seize up. “Mmmh... Beautiful, Jay.”

Suddenly Darren’s hand tightens up again and it’s what Jay needed to push him over the edge. His hips stutter into Darren’s almost frozen fist as his cock pulses, darkening the front of his boxers with come. He jerks and gasps, watching Darren’s hand tremble around his cock, muscles fighting to stay on task.

Jay’s vision is cloudy as he comes off the high, his softening cock aching slightly with Darren still clasping it tightly. “Darren... Uh... Darren?” The fingers of Darren’s hand open slowly, his hand dropping away suddenly.

“Sorry,” Darren rasps, slumped back in the chair again, breathing irregularly.

“Huh... Wow, don’t worry, that was...” Jay isn’t altogether there yet. “Hot,” he mumbles. Already Darren squirms under him, still hard. Jay scoots forward a little, giving Darren room.

Darren fumbles with his pants, Jay can hear the zipper being pulled down. “Can you get up, slowly?” Darren’s hoarse voice asks in Jay’s back.

Jay wonders what Darren is up to but does as Darren wishes, leans forward and begins to rise. Darren grabs his shoulder, sets his feet on the ground with some difficulty and, using Jay as a guide and for balance, gets up with him.

“Woah, Darren...” Jay can feel Darren stagger against him and he grabs the counter to the right of the stove in front of him, bracing himself. But Darren manages to gain his bearings and supports most of his weight on his own two feet, though not standing entirely erect. Jay knows it’s as tall as the other gets and he dares not to move lest he’ll disturb Darren’s precarious equilibrium, the other’s hand still on his shoulder.

Darren shifts and gives a low, urgent grunt. He hooks his left arm over Jay’s shoulder, fingers splayed over Jay’s naked chest and his front presses against Jay from behind. His erect cock suddenly pokes into Jay’s back and Jay notices that Darren’s hips seem to move more easily in this position, standing up instead of sitting down. His hips cant slowly, humping Jay almost imperceptibly.

“Holy shit...” Jay’s cock does a little weak twitch in his still wet boxer shorts. It’s unbelievably hot feeling Darren move like that against him, and if Darren keeps this up a little while longer, Jay thinks he could get hard again.

As he works himself up, Darren groans and pants into Jay’s neck. With every passing second Jay can feel Darren’s weight settle into him more, the other’s legs beginning to tremble. Darren’s right fist presses against Jay’s right upper arm, quivering a little with every thrust. His breathing soon becomes erratic, his movements urgent as he nears orgasm.

“Jay... Fuck, can you-?”

Darren’s voice is rough and Jay quickly slides his right hand behind his own back and into the tight space between them. Darren’s pants are open but are still clinging slightly to his hips. Jay manages to pull Darren’s underpants down a little in the front and wraps his fingers around Darren’s hard hot member. It’s a weird angle with Jay’s hand behind his back, but Darren doesn’t seem to mind. He elicits a hoarse groan upon the contact, teeth grazing Jay’s left shoulder.

“Oh yes, yes.... Close.” Darren’s hips thrust forward more forcefully, driving his cock into Jay’s fist. Darren is groaning gutturally with every thrust, from effort or pleasure Jay can’t tell. His body shakes with spasms from his legs, making it clear that time is running out. Finally, with a shudder and another deep groan, Darren comes, his body twitching and jerking through orgasm, his arm wrapped tightly around Jay’s chest, keeping himself upright.

Once Darren stills and slumps against Jay entirely, breathing heavily, Jay cranes his neck to look at the wheelchair behind them, the weight on his shoulders becoming unbearable. He slowly lets Darren down into his wheelchair by taking one step back, knees almost buckling, and stoops low, until Darren slides into the seat.

“Geez...” Jay rubs his shoulder and stretches his back. His boxer shorts have started drying and hardening slightly, but he hardly notices.

Darren peers at him, a dopey smile on his face. “Sorry. Am I heavy?” he asks, head jerking back a little with spasms, his words still slow like wading through mud.

“Eh...” Jay says, waving one hand dismissively. “Think we’ll have to put you on a diet.” He turns and pokes the remains of the eggs in the pan, frowning. “These are ruined anyway.”

Darren looks appropriately sheepish. “Hmmm... Can’t we make new ones?” His hand spasms, which makes the wheelchair drive into the back of Jay’s legs this time, effectively making Jay fall into Darren’s lap again, and Darren sneaks a lazy kiss somewhere between Jay’s shoulder blades before sinking back against the backrest with an exhausted sigh.

Jay takes his time considering this, then leans into Darren, snuggling up against his chest and drawing his legs up into Darren’s lap. “We could.”

A few minutes nothing happens except for Darren’s feet tapping the footrest lightly as spasms rattle through his legs.

“Wouldn’t you have to do something? Like crack the eggs and cook them?” Darren mumbles into Jay’s hair, tiredly. His left hand slowly creeps up to pat Jay’s back irregularly.

Jay doesn’t move his cheek from where it rests comfortably on Darren’s chest, but at least opens one eye. “Upon further thought, I think these eggs appear still somewhat edible. What do you think?” He fishes for the pan on the stove and holds it under Darren’s nose. The egg is brown and dry, but is still some way from becoming charcoal.

Darren gives a grunt and a shrug. “Okay.”

“Cool.” Jay closes his eyes again, entirely exhausted but happy his empty stomach will soon be filled.

“To the table then.”

The wheelchair hums a little louder, carrying them both away from the kitchen.



-> Chapter 18

Wednesday, June 12, 2019

Not Gay - Chapter 18

“Dance for me.”

Jay breaks the kiss and pushes back a little from where he is sitting in Darren’s lap. They just entered Jay’s apartment, already all over each other before the door was closed properly. Today, Darren was waiting in front of the apartment complex because Jay’s training had taken longer and even though Jay didn’t shower, didn’t even change out of his costume, just threw over a sweater, slipped into his shoes and raced to get the next train, he was late.

Sunday, June 9, 2019

Update to Cabin Fever!

It's Sunday again, which means another update to Cabin Fever.  Things start to get heated in this chapter...

Chapter 7

Table of Contents

Monday, June 3, 2019

Final chapter - Will Love Prevail

Hi there my friends of Will Love Prevail,

I am sorry I am so late on this Monday but I wanted to make sure the final chapter of "Will Love Prevail" will be ready and good.
I sit here with tears of sadness and joy in my eyes as I finished this story. We followed Chiara and Mark for a few months and witnessed how they met, the challenges they faced, the trauma they endured and the love they shared.
I grew attached to them and I hope you did too. I love writing for myself and I love that some people enjoy reading my stories.
Things sometimes come to me as I write, I don't have any real outlines on my stories and I am only an amateur. I do this for fun and pleasure but my stories sometimes feel so real and I invest lots of emotions into them and they can actually take a toll on me.
I usually have music on while I write and different music moves me and inspires me as I write. My playlist on this story consisted of mostly Indie Pop but I finished today with this song playing "Silhouette" by Active Child (feat. Ellie Goulding).
If you are inclined to, put your headphones on and check it out and feel this story with me. To me this song captured the essence of the story, about deep and everlasting love.

I now give you the final chapter of Will Love Prevail as we say Good Bye to Chiara and Mark.

Chapter 32 - Final Chapter

One last Table of Contents, updated with a description of "Will Love Prevail" TOC Will Love Prevail

From the bottom of my heart I thank all of you who read this story all the way to the end. You mean so much to me and my writing. I don't know you but you mean a lot. Maybe let me know once more how you liked this story.

Thank you and lots of love,

Sunday, June 2, 2019

Update to Cabin Fever

Hi all!  I'm back with a weekly update to Cabin Fever.  In this chapter, Jake learns the truth about Natalie...

Chapter 6

Table of Contents