Thursday, April 27, 2017

New Beginnings Chapter 16 is here now

Hello my friends,
sorry about the delay today. It's been so busy and I have to admit this chapter was somewhat challenging for me, not really sure why but I had to work on it quite a bit and it seems every time I read over it I found something else to edit.

When I first wrote this story like 8 or so years ago and put all of it on paper in spiral notebooks just to get it out of my head there were so many things I didn't know and it took quite some work and lots of editing last year and now every week as I post a new chapter for you I still edit, and I still work on it.

Anyhow...this chapter was a bit rough but I think it's good to go now and I hope you enjoy some more intimate and close moments between Anna and Shane, and no, it's not sex...:-)
As their love story unfolds with lots of problems along the way, I want to thank you for reading and commenting. You all mean a lot to me so here is Chapter 16. Hope you enjoy and thanks again,
Hugs, Dani

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Love UnSeen Continues

Jacky's back! Hope you enjoy this week's episode:

Love UnSeen - 11


I am going to a diagnostic hospital for a week starting Saturday and so I will NOT be posting next week (May 3). I probably won't even be able to post that I'm not posting. FYI. It's going to be a grueling week, so there's a good chance I won't be able to have anything ready for the week after, either. However, as always I'll do my best to try to give you guys something to read.

Thank you for reading and understanding,

-CA

PS - Table of Contents (updated for those who want to catch up or re-read any previous parts)

Monday, April 24, 2017

Between the Pages: Chapter 2

Thank you so much for all of the encouraging comments last week! They really mean the world to me. :) This second chapter is a wee bit longer and really starts to set some stuff up...so I hope you all like it! 

Also, a table of contents...for those of you who might have missed the first chapter! ;)

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Last excerpt

This is one final chapter I wanted to post from Crazy in Love.  It's uber devlicious and I just wanted to show it to you guys, in case you just aren't into books.  I hope y'all think it's hot.

Matt gets his first wheelchair

Thursday, April 20, 2017

New Beginnings Chapter 15

Hey NB friends,
hope everyone had a great week.
Thanks for your comments last week and thanks to everyone who is still reading along with NB. This week a fling from Shane's past shows up at the party and causes quite a stir.
I give you Chapter 15 of NB. I hope you enjoy it and I'm ever so thankful to the readers of my story and always appreciate your comments.
Hugs, Dani
TOC NB

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

No post this week

Sorry, for health reasons I wasn't able to get anything finished for this week.

But I am making progress on In/Exhale and hopefully will be able to resume weekly (or maybe alternating I/E with Love UnSeen) this summer.

Thank you all for your comments and your patience.

-CA

Monday, April 17, 2017

New story: Between the Pages

Hi, everyone!

I'm back with a new story. I have a bad habit of getting stuck in stories and needing a break and starting new ones to get the creative juices flowing again...looking at you "Margaret's Chance" which is how this new little story was born.

Side note: I'm sorry to those of you who follow "Margaret's Chance." :-( It IS going to get finished...but probably not for some time. I just can't get things the way I want them when writing it right now.

But back to Between the Pages. I've planned the entire thing out and I've already written enough to post eleven full chapters, but full disclosure, it isn't finished yet. I've gone ahead and posted the first chapter here to see if y'all even like it. If you do and want me to keep posting, I will!

P.S.: I've gone back through the posts since February and it seems like Mondays are currently free. However, if I've made a mistake, please someone let me know!

And now on to...Between the Pages, Chapter 1

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Matt falls

I mentioned in a post last week that I published a new book that's a romance about a guy with MS and a woman with OCD.  Some of you bought the book, and for that, I thank you.  But I'm sure lots of you haven't, for whatever reason.

Ultimately, I write because I want people to enjoy my work.  So since things are slow on the blog, Lee gave me permission to post another 2-chapter excerpt from the book on here, for those of you who just aren't into reading whole books.  This is another supah dupah devvy scene (according to two readers), and I tried to make it into something that's enjoyable for people who haven't read the rest of the book. 

Matt falls.....

Please enjoy!  I may post one more of my favorites, if that's okay!  And I'm also working on a new short story for the blog.

Friday, April 14, 2017

YOUR story!

Hi everyone,

I'm back with a new story and it's going to be different than anything before. Have you ever wondered what the zombie apocalypse would be like for a para? No?! Well, I got the answer anyway :D Plus, and that's the actual new thing here at least for me, this story will not work without YOU and it will shape according to YOUR CHOICES! I hope it will be fun! If you know the Walking Dead video game by Telltale Games you will know how it works and for everyone else: find out with Season 1 Episode 1.

This is just a test, I do not even have a title yet but I am very open to suggestions :) If you are interested in the story and the poll works for everyone (I tried to make sure it works on an iPhone, since I cannot comment from my phone which is always a bummer) I think I could get ready to start posting maybe in a month...? I'm very excited to get it out there at least and a bit on edge because I have never started posting a story that was not finished... I promise I will go through with it until the end of season 1 (right now I plan for 3 seasons but it's hard to determine... I'm trying not to develop this into a Monte Carlo experiment :D).

With that I wish you an awesome Easter weekend!
Lovis

Thursday, April 13, 2017

New Beginnings Chapter 14

Hi guys,
another week gone by and another chapter ready for you.
I guess people weren't too much into the chapter last week which of course got my brain working in overdrive trying to figure out if it was not really good or too much or too little of something. Especially since I want to try to write good sex scenes, now I am not sure anymore. Oh well, this week there won't be any sex but you will meet Shane's brothers with their families and significant others. I hope that'll be something you enjoy reading about.
Anna and Shane arrive at Jordan's house and it's somewhat awkward and stressful for everyone. Here is Chapter 14 of New Beginnings. Thanks to everyone who likes reading this story. I always appreciate if you give me some feedback.
Hugs, Dani
TOC New Beginnings

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Love UnSeen Continues


Sorry for the long wait for this scene. I've been so exhausted and feeling so bad my writing ability/productivity has dropped to almost zero, but I know how badly you guys have been waiting for this scene that I hammered it out as best I could.

I hope you're not too disappointed:

Love UnSeen - 10


Thank you so much for all your suggestions! Even if they didn't appear in this scene, don't worry I have filed them all away for use at some point in the story. I had already planned for us to see Jackson at work at some point, and I'm glad that's something some of you would like to see!

I am more than open to any other ideas or suggestions for things you'd like to see happen in the next episode or further on.

Thanks for reading,

-CA

PS - Table of Contents (updated for those who want to catch up or re-read any previous parts)

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Reckless Behavior: Final Chapter!

Whew. Well, this is it, people. Last chapter. To those of you who read the whole thing, please know know that I really appreciate you.

Chapter Seventeen

Enjoy!


Table of Contents

Last week...

Cassia and Aster learn about Croton's motives. Samuel and Molly face off in the parking lot. Aster agrees to sacrifice Cassia for his mobility. Later, he gets a nurse to take him where he wants.

If you're interested in quad stories, feel free to check out my other stories:

Lies, All Lies

Birds Playing​ Electrical Guitar

Friday, April 7, 2017

New Book!

I'm going to take advantage of Free Friday to let you all know about my newest book, Crazy in Love!


Buy a copy today!

It's about a woman named Anna who has OCD and her developing relationship with a man named Matt who was recently diagnosed with a progressive form of multiple sclerosis that promises to end his ability to walk in five years.  Matt doesn't believe his diagnosis until he sees his mobility slowly deteriorate over time. From Amazon:

They call her Crazy Anna.

Anna Flint won’t shake your hand. She collects tin cans. She cleans her cubicle at work with Lysol several times a day. But Anna doesn’t care that they call her crazy. She’s absolutely satisfied with her life of perfect organization, cleanliness, and most of all, solitude.

Matt Harper likes Anna Flint. He likes that she’s the smartest person he knows and he likes her big blue eyes. He doesn’t even mind her can collection. In fact, he pretty much likes everything about Anna. As his body and his world are falling apart, she still manages to make him happy.

Matt is the only person Anna has ever wanted to be close to. But how can she go on a date with him if the thought of dinner at a restaurant fills her with terror? How can she ever kiss the man she loves if she can't even touch him?

Maybe it’s time to stop being Crazy Anna. If only she could.


Buy a copy today!

If you're still not sure if you want to read it, please enjoy an excerpt from the book that also works as a story.  If you don't find this incredibly devvy, then I probably can't convince you.

Read the excerpt!

Thursday, April 6, 2017

New Beginnings Chapter 13

Hello my friends,
Thursday is NB day...
first off, thank so much for all your comments last week, they made me so happy.
I appreciate all my readers and fans of NB so much.
Anyhow, I am bringing you a new chapter of NB and it is another steamy one. I tell you guys though, sex scenes are not easy to write, especially when they need to be hot and devy at the same time. 
So after the crazy night at the bar Anna and Shane make out once again, but in all their lust also realizing how much they love each other.
I hope you enjoy the story as we move along with this weeks Chapter 13. Thanks for reading and commenting, I appreciate you.
Hugs, Dani
TOC New Beginnings

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

No story today.

Sorry. I'll have something next week, hopefully.

Thanks for understanding.

-CA

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Reckless Behavior Update

Hi guys! Sorry for the wait. Honestly I've been having trouble finding time lately to write... I know this story doesn't appeal to most of you on here, which I totally get, especially since I haven't had a lot of time to work on plotting and editing. Still, I am really appreciative of those who read and comment on my chapters. It gives me the inspiration to keep writing, so thanks!

I think next week is going to be the last chapter. Here's the second-to-last, Chapter Sixteen.

Last week...

Cassia thinks back to when she first had sex with Aster. The two of them are taken to the lab, where Cassia receives down shocking news. Croton gives them a difficult decision to make.

And, as always, the Table of Contents.

Thursday, March 30, 2017

New Beginnings Chapter 12

Hello friends of NB,
it's Thursday and I am bringing you Chapter 12 of NB. Are you ready for some more drama and love? I hope so because in this chapter Anna and Shane have to fight for their love once again. I know I'm not making it easy for the two but easy would be boring. And don't we like the love against all odds story? I know I do ;-). Well, very heartfelt thanks to everyone who reads along and thanks for all comments.
Hugs, Dani
TOC NB

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

In/Exhale Interlude This Week

I've been having so much pain in my hands and have been extremely exhausted (sleeping half the day and still feel like I'm dragging the weight of the world around), so I haven't been able to write the past two weeks ;-;.

I didn't wan to leave you guys another week without anything, though, so I'm giving you an In/Exhale flashback. I'd actually debated about posting it at all, and if so it would have gone after Sunday and before Monday (we stopped on Saturday as the last I've posted), but since Sunday still isn't finished I figured it'd be better to give it to you now than nothing at all.

I can't make any promises for when In/Exhale will continue after this. I'm really hoping soon. I'm also hoping I can get unstuck with Love UnSeen because it's being very stubborn.

This episode takes place a few weeks after Kai was recovered from his aunt's house. He's been in the hospital recovering from his injuries and malnourishment and undergoes his first of several surgeries. It's from Cathy's (aka "The Warden") and Art's point of views, and so it'll give you a different view of the circumstances, I hope. I think you may also see Art a little differently, too.

Flashback: September 28, 1988


Thanks again for all your support. The past six months have been very difficult for me, emotionally and physically. I've found myself on more than one occasion tapping Kai's strength, knowing if he can get through all that he has then I can, too.

-CA

PS - You might want to refresh your memory on Dr. Miller's findings about Kai's status once he was recovered from his aunt's house in the last posted episode, or if there's any other episode you need to catch up on, check out the Table of Contents.

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

No update this week

There won't be a chapter of Reckless Behavior this week. Sorry guys! I try to limit my 'skips' to one per story, but things don't always work out that way... Anyway thanks to those that are still reading my story! See you next week!

Saturday, March 25, 2017

Letting Go Update

Hi lovely people,
here is the last part of Letting Go: Part III. I sure hope you remember where we left off last time because we are diving right in =)
Cheers
Lovis

Thursday, March 23, 2017

New Beginnings Chapter 11

Hello again, hope everyone is well.
It was another busy week for me but I think I got the chapter ready for you. This week Anna and Shane have to support each other as Shane has his last PT appointment and Anna has to pick up her brother's ashes. Thanks to everyone for reading and commenting last week. You all mean so much to me. So here is Chapter 11 of NB. Hope you enjoy and I'm always looking forward to your comments.
Hugs, Dani   

TOC New Beginnings

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

No stories today

Sorry, everyone.

I just can't write as much as I used to be able to because of my health issues. I think you can expect that I'll be on a biweekly (every other week) schedule for posting for the foreseeable future.

I will try my darndest to give you something every other week if nothing else, but I can't make any promises.

I will NOT give up on Love UnSeen until it's finished, I promise you that, and I also am still working (albeit slowly) on In/Exhale.

Thanks for your feedback and understanding.

-CA

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Reckless Behavior Chapter Fifteen

Hello everyone! Here we are, Chapter Fifteen already. I feel like I just started writing this story, and now it's almost over. I've also got The Table of Contents, if you'd like to catch up.

Last week...

Molly and Samuel confront Aster and Cassia at the strip mall. Samuel convinces them to stay at his house. In the middle of the night, Aster and Cassia are forcibly taken from the house.

Thursday, March 16, 2017

New Beginnings Chapter 10

Hi friends,
this week went by so fast. Over the last week I was so sick with the second bad cold this year and am still recovering. So maybe I didn't edit the chapter this week as thorough as I wanted to and again the chapter turned out long. Thanks for your wonderful comments last week. In this chapter Anna and Shane spent the day on a little outing and then go visit Anna's workplace in the evening. A small incident at the club causes some frustration. Well, here is  Chapter 10 of NB. Hope you enjoy the ride and let me know, I love your comments and thank you so much. Hugs, Dani

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Love UnSeen Continues


Sorry for such a short chapter this week...!

I'm apparently still sick with an infection and we're trying to figure out what it is exactly, so while I wait for test results I'm dealing with feeling awful on top of all my normal health issues. So it's hard to be productive.

Hope you guys enjoy. 

Love UnSeen - 09


I'll admit I'm a little stuck as to what happens next, though. I wouldn't mind your suggestions!!

-CA

PS - Table of Contents (updated for those who want to catch up or re-read any previous parts)

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Reckless Behavior Chapter Fourteen


We're getting close to the end, guys... Of my story, I mean. Hope you enjoy this week's chapter!

Chapter Fourteen

Table of Contents (Finally got over my laziness and updated it. So there's that.)

Last week:
Aster and Cassia argue about leaving Molly's house. Samuel and Molly follow them. Aster and Cassia scope out the lab under the strip mall. Cassia hears someone coming.

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Letting Go Update

Hi everyone!
Thanks so much for your comments last time, they mean a lot :) In this new part of the story the disability will be revealed! So find out if you have been on the right track: this is Part II of Letting Go.
Hugs
Lovis

Thursday, March 9, 2017

New Beginnings Chapter 9

Hello NB friends,
wow, I just finished editing this week's installment and it's once again a really long one. I thought about cutting it in half somewhere but I just couldn't find a good place to cut it. Well, I edited the whole thing and it's ready to go I guess.
Reading over it many times throughout the week, reworking it, changing things a bit here and there, I sometimes think to myself how heavy the drama is and even to me it's sometimes exhausting and I finish the chapter and just have to breathe. I am definitely glad there are people who like to read this kind of stuff. Sorry about the F-bombs in the story but that's just the way Shane is.
So in this week's chapter Anna finds out some disturbing things about Shane's past. And amidst the news about Shane and the emotional rollercoaster they once again can't stay away from each other. So I give you Chapter 9 of NB and thank you for your patience reading this very long chapter and hope you enjoy every bit of it. Thanks for everyone commenting last week, greatly appreciated. Hugs, Yours, Dani

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

No Post This Week

I'm really sorry but this week has been a bit hectic and I haven't been feeling well, so there won't be a post.

I'm hoping I can have an installment of Love UnSeen for sure next week and maybe also In/Exhale if I'm really lucky.

I just got news that I'm scheduled to go to National Jewish hospital for an evaluation the first week of May. I'm hoping they'll be able to get to the bottom of my health issues.

Thanks again for all your support,

-CA

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Reckless Behavior Chapter Thirteen

Hey guys! Yeah I'm a couple of hours late... But it's still Tuesday, right?

This week's chapter is a bit shorter, since I'm playing with the pacing of the story as we get closer to the end. Enjoy!

Chapter Thirteen

Table of Contents

Last week...
Cassia and Aster try to have sex, but it goes awry. Samuel and Molly go out to eat. Aster recalls the first time he met Cassia, and Molly talks with Dr. Moscowitz.

Monday, March 6, 2017

Update to The Diaper Problem

For those of you who are reading, here is:

Part 4 of The Diaper Problem

I know this might not exactly seem like a conclusion, but it's all I've written, and I don't have time to write more, so as far as I'm concerned, it's the conclusion.  Enjoy and adios!

Saturday, March 4, 2017

Skin and Scars Chapter 15

(Ok, big mistake on my part! I could have sworn I posted this on the 18th of February, but I logged in today to see that I had not.)

Hello all. Here is the next installment in Aaron and Julia's little world. This one is a teeny tiny bit on the scandalous side; you've been warned. Enjoy.


And the entire thing...



Thursday, March 2, 2017

New Beginnings Chapter 8

Hello my friends,
hope everyone is doing good. Thanks so much for reading and the super sweet comments last week. I appreciate it so much. In this week's chapter Anna is still struggling with accepting her attraction to Shane and there are some more clarifying, dramatic conversations and a situation where Shane is being confronted with Anna's job. But as much as I like the drama and the heart string pulling there are also lots of emotions between the two :-). Here is  Chapter 8 of NB, hope you enjoy. Thanks so much to all of you for reading and commenting,
Hugs, Dani
TOC New Beginnings

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Crazy in Love: Final excerpt


It’s a few weeks later that Kelly brings me my first wheelchair. It’s not the kind people use in the hospital, but something sleeker with red trim and a single footplate in the center. She measured me for it and asked me questions about the design, which I had answered with complete indifference, knowing I’d never use the damn thing. Who cared if it was red or blue or if it had a rigid or foldable frame?

Kelly surprises me by sitting in the chair and wheeling over to me, in what is apparently a live demo. I know she’s trying to show me that it isn’t so bad, but part of me hates her for doing that. I don’t like that she’s cruising around in that chair like it’s not so bad when she’s able to get up out of it and walk normal at any time.

“Wanna try it out?” she asks me, as she rises to her feet.

I give the chair a sideways glance. “Not really.”

“Matt…”

“Fine, fine,” I grumble. I eye it again, trying to figure out the best way to get inside.

“Let me show you how to transfer,” she says. “I’m basically going to teach you to transfer like you’re a paraplegic, because you essentially are at this point.”

“I could use a walker to stand and then shift over,” I say.

“I think my way will be more practical,” Kelly tells me. “And you’ll still be able to do it if you can’t stand anymore.”

I wince. She says it like it’s an inevitability that I won’t be able to stand anymore someday.

She shows me how to transfer by grabbing on to the side of the wheelchair and shifting my body over using the strength in my arms. Good thing my arms have gotten a lot stronger in the last four years. Even so, it isn’t easy. Kelly hangs onto me the whole time and probably does most of the work.

And then I’m in the chair.

The second I get positioned, my stomach churns. I can’t believe I’m sitting in a wheelchair—my wheelchair. I swore I wouldn’t let this happen.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” I mumble. I lean forward, pressing my face into my hands.

Kelly rushes off to get me a trough. I gag, but I don’t throw up. But I still feel ill.

“I don’t want to be in this wheelchair anymore,” I say.

I start to try to get up, but I can’t. My crutches aren’t within reach, and the footplate makes it hard to get up. At this point, I’m starting to panic and I’m about to hurl myself at the floor. Kelly finally has me grab her around the neck, then basically lifts me out of the chair, back onto the bench.

When I’m safely out of the chair, I wipe sweat off my brow. I can’t believe I had a panic attack from sitting in a wheelchair.

“Are you okay?” Kelly asks me, peering at my face.

“Fine,” I manage.

She looks at me for a minute, then sighs. “I think maybe we need to get you used to this gradually.”

I shake my head. “I can walk just fine.”

“Are you kidding me, Matt?” Kelly folds her arms across her chest. “You can barely walk. You look like you’re struggling with every step. It’s fine if you want to do it sometimes for exercise or bone health, but you should be using the wheelchair as your primary method of mobility.”

I look down at my hands.

“I know it’s hard,” she says gently. “I know you were hoping to stay out of the wheelchair for a while. But it’s not that bad. I think you’ll be surprised how much more mobile you are once you have the wheelchair. How much more freedom you have. I mean, when is the last time you decided not to do something just because you didn’t feel like you could walk that far?”

All the fucking time.

“Think about it, Matt,” she says.

No. I can’t. It’s too soon. It’s too soon.



***



I go to work two days every week, and spend the rest of the week working from home. Peter actually offered to let me stay at home more, but I feel like if I did that, I’d become one of those weird people who has no contact with the outside world. Especially considering I’m nearly at that point right now.

Work keeps me sane. Even if a lot of people barely talk to me anymore.

But Anna does.

When I hobble into work this morning, I see Anna as I’m heading to my own cubicle. She gives me a huge smile. I definitely wouldn’t call Anna my girlfriend, but we’re something more than friends. We talk on the phone nearly every night. I know all about her parents, her sister, her interests. I’ve never been in her house though. I’ve never kissed her. I’ve never even held her hand.

It’s a complicated relationship.

I’m being incredibly patient with this girl. It helps that I can’t imagine anyone else being willing to go out with me. Girls treat me like I’m either invisible, contagious, or five years old.

“Matt!” she says, jumping out of her seat when she sees me. Some days I’m convinced she might hug me or something like that, but she never does. Don’t laugh, but I fantasize about just touching her. I jack off thinking about us holding hands.

Today I notice that Anna has a pained look on her face. Her face is paler than usual and her eyes are red-rimmed.

“Is everything okay?” I ask her.

She shrugs. “Peter was yelling at me over the cans again.”

Since the episode with Calvin, Anna has managed to rebuild her tower of cans. It’s gotten back to the level of being clearly unacceptable. Sometimes I wonder if I should sit Anna down and have a serious talk with her about the cans.

“That’s terrible,” I say instead.

“He told me I have to get rid of them,” she says, “or else I’m fired.”

I stare at her in surprise. Peter has been yelling about those cans for years, but I never thought he’d give her an ultimatum like that. Despite how angry he gets at her, I know Peter likes Anna and he thinks she’s a genius (which she is).

“So…” She looks down at the cans. “I’m going to bring them home tonight. Well, some of them. Some I might keep in a drawer. And maybe I’ll throw away some of them. Unless…” She lifts her eyes to look at me. “Do you want to take some of them home?”

“Um…” I don’t. I mean, I do and I don’t. I don’t actually want the cans. Who would? I mean, besides Anna. But I do want to take them because I know it would make her happy.

Except how the hell am I going to get them to my car? Carrying a bunch of cans is just not a possibility for me.

Maybe Anna figures that part out, because she says to me, “How about if I put one in your desk drawer? So you can see it and think of me?”

“Sure,” I say, relieved. “Of course.”

I sit down and get to work while Anna dismantles her tower of cans. I’ve got a meeting today at ten o’clock and I have to plan my whole day around it. I know this sounds bad, but I usually start heading to a meeting about thirty minutes prior, because the conference room is all the way down the hall. It would probably take most people about sixty seconds to get there, but it takes me significantly longer than that. I don’t want to worry about having to rush and accidentally falling. Also, I can’t go to the bathroom during the meeting, so I have to go right before. Which means walking to the bathroom—another long trek for me.

Maybe this is what Kelly was talking about when we talked about how I’d have more mobility if I used a wheelchair.

Still.

At 9:30 a.m., I grab my crutches with the intention of heading for the meeting. I thread my forearms through the holes, grab the handles, and plant them on the ground. Except somehow, it’s harder to get up than it usually is. I rock back and forth, trying to gain some momentum. And… nothing.

Shit.

I keep trying to get out of my chair, doing everything I can without risking falling out of my chair onto the ground. I don’t know what’s going on, if maybe the chair is lower than usual or what, but I can’t seem to get up. If I had my walker, I’d be able to get up because I’d have more leverage, but the crutches don’t give me the same stability.

It’s 9:40 now. I need to figure out how to get up and get to this meeting. Even if I missed the meeting though, I’d still eventually need to figure out how to get out of this chair. But how?

I look at the wall of my cubicle. Before I got my cane, I used to sometimes hang onto the walls of cubicles as I walked to keep from losing my balance. Maybe I could grab on to the wall of my cubicle to help pull myself to my feet. Of course, that’s a lot of weight to rest on what is a pretty thin wall. What if it collapses?

I roll my chair over to the wall of the cubicle. I grab the top of it, testing it to see how strong it feels. Not very.

I’ve got to get up somehow. And the crutches aren’t enough. I’ve got to get help.

I take out my phone and locate my buddy Calvin’s number. I send him a text message: Could you come help me with something?

A minute later, I am still glued to my chair, and Calvin is standing over me, a concerned look on his face. He’s wearing a blue dress shirt and khaki slacks, and he looks so healthy and athletic. He doesn’t look like someone who needs thirty minutes to walk to a meeting. I really, really don’t want to tell him what’s wrong. But what choice do I have?

“You okay, Matt?” he asks.

I take a deep breath. “I need help standing up.”

“Oh…”

My cheeks burn. “I don’t know why, but I just can’t… you know…”

Calvin nods. “Sure. What do you want me to do?”

I hadn’t thought about it. “I guess… just grab the back of my pants, and I’ll grab onto your neck.”

Calvin leans forward and I put my arms around his neck. I feel really helpless. Then he reaches behind me and grabs onto my pants by the waistband. He’s able to lift me easily, without even grunting. And once I’m on my feet, I’m fine. I grab my crutches and then I’m fine. But I can’t look my former best friend in the eyes.

“Are you going to be okay, Matt?” he asks me. “Will you need my help again?”

I shake my head no. Although the truth is, maybe I will. If I couldn’t get up now, what the hell am I going to do the rest of the day?

I know what I need to do.

I need to call Kelly and pick up my wheelchair.

***



Kelly fits me in after I explain what happened to me. Not only does she fit me in, but when I arrive at the therapy center, I’m shocked when I see her standing there at the entrance. I pull over next to her and roll down the window of my car. “I need some time,” I tell her. “I’ll meet you inside.”

“How are you going to get out of your car?” she retorts.

I realize with a sinking feeling that she’s probably right. If I was struggling to get out of my chair at work, getting out of the car is going to be even harder.

“Park your car and I’ll meet you,” she says.

And that’s how we end up practicing car transfers.

I leave my crutches in the car. I have a feeling that I’ll probably be retiring them after today. I can still walk with my walker, but the crutches are just not realistic anymore.

I try to stifle any residual feelings of panic as I wheel my chair next to Kelly as we go to the therapy center. This isn’t awful. It’s actually much better than struggling to walk the distance from the parking spot to the entrance. It’s so fast compared to what I’ve become used to. Until…

I’m wheeling along and all of a sudden, I’m stuck. My chair won’t budge. The small front wheels of my chair have gotten wedged in a tiny little rut in the sidewalk. I can’t move at all. Every time I push on the rims, I’m just spinning in place.

Kelly hasn’t even noticed and is striding forward. “Hey!” I yell. “I got stuck.”

She comes back and sees my dilemma. I’m feeling more and more frustrated. Here I was thinking for a moment that this chair would give me more freedom, and then one minute later, I’m completely stuck. It wouldn’t have even occurred to me this could happen.

“You need to do a wheelie,” she tells me.

She demonstrates the motion I’m supposed to make with my wheels to lift the front wheels out of the rut. It’s not helpful. I can’t do it. I can’t fucking do it. I’m getting so frustrated, I want to throw myself out of the chair and crawl to the entrance. Finally, Kelly grabs the back of my chair so that the wheels are lifted out, and I’m free. But the whole episode leaves me feeling anxious about navigating this chair on my own.

In the gym, we spend over an hour practicing transfers. At first I was insistent we should use a walker for the transfers, but Kelly pointed out that wasn’t going to be practical outside of my home. While I’m transferred out of the chair, sitting on a mat, Kelly uses my wheelchair to show me how to do wheelies. I practice that too, until I feel confident enough that I probably won’t get stuck in a tiny rut again.

Kelly walks me to my car again and shows me how to disassemble the chair so that I can stash it in the seat next to me. We practice taking it apart and putting it back together. I feel exhausted by the end of it, and not at all confident that I can do any of this on my own.

“You’re going to be okay, Matt,” Kelly tells me. “We’ll practice again tomorrow.”

When I get back in my car for the final time at the end of my session, I see my crutches and I want to throw them out the window. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to use them again—I can’t risk a repeat of what happened today at work. I’ll use my wheelchair out of the house, and in the house, I’ll walk with my walker.

I’m going to continue to walk. I refuse to lose that ability. I know it sounds dumb, but I feel like it’s part of what makes me a person.

Over the next few days, I continue practicing with Kelly. It gets to the point where I feel a lot more comfortable doing transfers. She says it will continue to get easier with practice. Fortunately, my arms are already very strong from crutching myself around for the last year, so I’m not starting from zero.

I finally go back to work the week after Calvin had to lift my sorry ass out of my chair. And I’m in my wheelchair. I don’t have crutches or braces or any back-up. I’m in my wheelchair for the entire day.

I park in one of the handicapped spots in the office lot, and this time I’m appreciative of the extra space next to the parking spot. I have my wheelchair in the seat next to mine, with the wheels detached. I pull out the frame and pop the wheels back on, one by one. Then I pull my legs out of the car the way Kelly showed me, and lift the rest of my body out into the chair. She promised me this was something I’d get faster at, but right now, I’m slow. And nervous. I don’t want to fall on my ass in the freaking parking garage.

I wheel myself to the entrance to the building. There’s a handicapped button that I sometimes press, or if Kenny is around, he holds the doors for me. He’s there today, and he looks taken aback to see me in a wheelchair. Although he probably shouldn’t, considering how awful I’ve been walking lately.

“Hello there, Mr. Harper.” He squints at me. “How you doin’?”

“Fine.” I force a smile. “How are you?”

“Just fine,” he says.

Thank fucking God, he doesn’t pursue the whole thing further.

It’s easier to be in a wheelchair than it had been walking at the end. I was so nervous about every bump in the tiling, like it might send me flying. Now I roll across the floor without a second thought. I don’t hit any ruts in the floor, but even if I did, I feel confident I could get over them. The only thing that makes me nervous is doorways—I had no idea how narrow most of them are. I get worried about clipping my hand as I go through.

The first problem comes in the elevator. I had no idea that the buttons were so high, but when I try to reach for the button for my floor, it eludes me. I feel ridiculous, stretching to hit the button, my fingers about an inch short.

“What floor do you need?” a man asks me.

“Eleven. Thanks,” I mumble.

Christ, am I going to have to go through this shit every time?

When I get up to my own floor, that’s when things get real. Everyone is staring at me as I wheel by. Not that they didn’t stare at me when I was walking on crutches, but I was so focused on not falling, I stopped noticing. I try not to notice today, but it’s hard.

I usually try to pass by Anna’s cubicle on my way to my own, but this time, I take a different path. I don’t want her to see me this way. I know it’s dumb because it’s obviously inevitable, but I don’t know. I just don’t. Not yet.

But of course, she sees me when she comes to my cubicle for lunch. Her blue eyes widen when she notices that I’m in the wheelchair.

“Oh,” she says.

I shrug. “I got sick of dragging myself around on those crutches.” Like it was a choice I made. Like I wouldn’t be walking if it were remotely possible.

“Lunch?” Anna suggests, holding up her insulated lunch bag.

I nod and follow her to the break room. I’m shorter than she is now, in my wheelchair. Maybe if we had a date, I could use my braces and crutches. Or I don’t know, maybe my walker even.

Who am I kidding? Anna and I will never have a date.

We get to the break room, and I realize that my water bottle is up in the top cabinet. I’ll never be able to reach it without standing up. I clear my throat. “Um, Anna, do you think you could reach my water bottle for me?”

Anna looks at me, and then she bursts into tears. She sinks into a chair, sobbing.

Jesus Christ.

Love UnSeen - The Party Begins

Sorry this is so late. Formatting took awhile. Hope the long episode and the *gasp* sex scene makes up for the delay. Jackson and Dan go to the krewe party.


Love UnSeen - 08



Hoping I'll be able to continue next week. If not, maybe I can start posting I/E again. Thanks for those of you who have stuck with me.


-CA


PS - Table of Contents (updated for those who want to catch up or re-read any previous parts)

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Reckless Behavior Update

Hey everyone! I had a few days' break recently, which was great. The rainy street and a long stretch of hours for writing... Now that's my kind of vacation. I present you with Chapter Twelve. Things are getting intense this week. Enjoy!

Last week:

Cassia and Aster share an intimate moment. Molly is subjected to an earth shattering experience, and Aster gets waxed. Cassia and Aster find Molly feverish on the couch.


And, as always, The Table of Contents.

Monday, February 27, 2017

Update to The Diaper Problem

This story seems to be bouncing around.  First it was Friday, then I thought for sure Wednesday was free, but it turned out I stole someone else's day :(.  Soooo.... let's go with Monday.  There's only one part left anyway, which I'll put up next Monday.

Chapter 3 of Jamie's saga

And here's Chapter 1 and Chapter 2, in case you want to read from the beginning.

Also, thanks for all the comments.  Seriously, I was floored.  I posted one of my quad stories in the past and one of the few comments I got was that they liked the story but that "nobody is really turned on by this stuff."

Sunday, February 26, 2017

New Story: Letting Go

Hi everyone,
this story originally was a one-shot that kind of got out of hands... It comes in three parts now! I am not claiming Sundays and am just going to post on free days when there is no other post scheduled. Hope that's okay with everyone.
The story is a bit of a reversed pretender story and I am not going to tag the disability yet. I am sure you guys will be quick in figuring it out though =)
Have fun with Letting Go - Part I!
Lovis

Saturday, February 25, 2017

Love UnSeen - New Episode (Finally)

So I thought I'd lost my day.

I've been so sick the last three weeks in particular, being hit with everything at once, it seems. I wanted so much to write and even more to be able to post something for you, but I was too sick and in too much pain to do much of anything.

I didn't realize I'd lost my day and had initially published this on Wednesday. I honestly thought the other story was a draft. I think the confusion came about because when I started formatting the story it *was* still a draft... Regardless, I've spoken to Lee and the author and I'll be able to start posting again on Wednesdays.

I can't promise that I'll be able to make every single week, but I'm going to try to at least post every other week from now on. I'm hoping that I'll *finally* be ready to start posting In/Exhale again soon. I'm so sorry it's been on hiatus for so long as that was never my intent.

For now, I hope you'll enjoy the second half of part 07 of Love UnSeen. I'm sorry that I couldn't post this as one complete chapter. You might want to re-read the first part to refresh your memory before reading:

Love UnSeen - 07 - pt 2



I appreciate your feedback. Thank you.

-CA

PS - Table of Contents (updated for those who want to catch up or re-read any previous parts)

Friday, February 24, 2017

New Devo Diary

Seems like no one else is posting on Free Friday this week, so here is a new Devo Diary.

Chapter 26: Skippy Boy Genius part 1

Table of Contents

Thanks again for the comments. I really appreciate it!

Thursday, February 23, 2017

New Beginnings Chapter 7

Hey there,
hope this finds everyone well. Another Thursday, another chapter of NB. Hope you enjoy this steamy chapter with Anna and Shane getting really close.
I give you Chapter 7 of New Beginnings. Let me know how you liked it. Thank you for reading and commenting,
Love ya'll, Dani
TOC NB

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

The Diaper Problem continues

From the number of comments, it looks like at least some of you are interested in reading more of this story about a high quad, and it doesn't look like anyone is posting on Wednesdays. On a related note, it's comforting to know that other people are into the darker things that I like. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one.

Part 2 of The Diaper Problem

(And here's Part 1, for anyone who missed it and is interested.)

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Reckless Behavior Chapter Eleven


Hi guys! I'm back with anything chapter of Reckless Behavior. To those of you still reading, I have to say that I love your feedback! It really gives me encouragement when I'm stuck at a tough part in the story. So thank you!

So without further ado, I present

Chapter Eleven

Table of Contents

And as always, last week's summary:

 Aster and Cassia argue about his care, and they share an awkward morning together. Samuel is still suspicious. Dr. Moscowitz threatens Aster, and Cassia is jealous of Molly and Aster's amicable relationship.

Sunday, February 19, 2017

The Best Man... hiatus

I tried, you guys.  I thought I could keep up with the story, writing a chapter a week, but I couldn't.  I had to force myself to write the last chapter, and it felt like I was churning out terrible writing just to have something to post.  I can't write this way.  It's too much pressure!

So in summary, The Best Man is on hiatus indefinitely.  If anyone wants to start posting on Sunday, the day is yours.

That said, I wanted to have something for you.  So below is an early chapter I really liked from (Almost) Happily Ever After that, if you haven't read the book, will hopefully be entertaining to you.  I tried to make it as devvy as possible.  There's a stairlift, you guys.  I really tried.

Libby and Will go to Coney Island



Will drives us out to Coney Island. For someone like me, owning a car in Manhattan is a huge liability, but Will loves his Toyota Prius. It has hand controls, which is obviously the only way he’d be able to drive it. Public transportation is difficult when you’re in a wheelchair—accessible stations occur only sporadically and the accessibility can get shut down without any notice. Also, getting a cab is impossible. He seems to really like driving, which is a good thing considering you will never see me getting behind the wheel in this crazy city. I only keep my driver’s license around for identification purposes or when I borrow a car to go visit my parents upstate.

On top of that, Will’s got handicapped plates (obviously), so we get all the good parking. We’re lucky to have the plates because it’s probably the last nice day of the fall and parking looks like it would be a nightmare. And I’m currently wearing The Most Uncomfortable Sandals in the World. They were gorgeous when I saw them in Macy’s and I still love how they look, but it turned out that… well, you know.

Friday, February 17, 2017

Note to all authors

Please makes sure to add a label with the title of your story on ALL CHAPTERS.  This label should NOT be on the update posts, only on the chapters.  That way, when someone clicks on a label, all the chapters will appear in order.  I was browsing just now and I realized that a lot of you are not adding this label.  I was going to add them myself, but then stopped when I realized how many there were that needed to be fixed. 

The Diaper Problem

Hey all, it's Aloha, Author of High Quad Stories.  This isn't meant to be a long, multi-part story, but I did write a few more parts to this.  However, since it doesn't look like there are currently any days available, I don't know if I'm going to be able to post any more of this one, but I'll at least put this part up for now.  It's a little uncomfortable, so I'm not sure if many people will even enjoy it. I won't be offended if you don't, lol.


The Diaper Problem

It all started during dinner with the Rosenthals.

It was something that Cathy and I had been looking forward to for weeks.  We met Dave and Michelle Rosenthal at the orientation for Leo’s daycare, and we’d hit it off.  Okay, we sort of hit it off.  Dave and I chatted about the baseball game that weekend, and Michelle and Cathy talked about potty training or bras or whatever the hell women talk about.  When we left the orientation, Michelle said to us, “We’ll all have to get together for dinner sometime!”

I told Cathy that they didn’t really mean it.  Of course they didn’t. They didn’t actually want to be friends with us.  We’re not the kind of couple who has friends—not in any real sort of way.  I make people feel awkward, and the conversations are always stilted with big phony smiles, and patronizing nods.  And wondering when the soonest they could leave would be without it being outright rude.

Thursday, February 16, 2017

New Beginnings Chapter 6

Hello friends,
it is after midnight Thursday morning and I just finished editing the chapter for this week. I have been working more these past couple of days and so I squeezed in when I could to edit and reread the chapter. It seems that every time I go over a chapter I make a little change here and there, there is always something. I also tried to make the font larger but didn't know how. I will try to figure that out because I know the words are very small. Sorry about that. Anyhow, hope the chapter is up to speed for this week and so I give you Chapter 6 of NB. Anna takes Shane to her place and there are some challenges but also lots of moments when they become even closer to each other. Hope you enjoy! Let me know and thanks to everyone reading and commenting. Big hug, Yours, Dani
TOC NB

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Reckless Behavior Chapter Ten


Hey everyone! So after my lengthly break of two weeks, I'm back with Chapter Ten. Things are still super busy around here, but I went to a snow festival this weekend, which was a great way to take a break. Nothing like a ten-foot tall ice sculpture to amp my writing juices. Thanks for your patience!

Last week...

Samuel is suspicious of Aster's sudden paralysis. Cassia scopes out the strip mall and gets a job there. Molly dresses Aster, and when Cassia returns and sees what she's done, she freaks out.



Table of Contents