Wednesday, April 18, 2018

No Shadowboxing this week

Hi all,

Apologies, but I'm skipping this week - the next three-four weeks of work are nuts for me, so I need some time to catch my breath and build up a backlog. Thank you for your patience.

In case you'd like to catch up in the meantime...

Chapter 13: Killing Time till the Day of Execution (in which Asher dealt with nightmares and lovingly judgy best friends)
Table of Contents

And below the cut, a couple of doodles to make up for the wait:

Monday, April 16, 2018

Devo Diary on hiatus

Hi everyone, sorry there is no update to Devo Diary this week. I'm going to be super busy over the next several months with work, family and travel. Since I've reached a natural stopping point in the story, it seems best to take a break here. But don't worry, there is still a lot more to go, and a lot more PWDs coming up. I'll be back in about four months or so, hopefully with a big backlog so I can go back to posting weekly. Thanks again for all your comments and for following the story so faithfully! I really appreciate it. See you again in a while.

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Update to My Perfect Ex-Boyfriend!

OK, so I'm a big fat liar, because I said I was going to reveal Noah's disability in this chapter, but it turns out in order to get to that part, there's still a good amount left.  So I totally 100% will reveal it in the next chapter after this, but for now, you're going to have to keep guessing:

Chapter 2

And if you haven't read it already, here's Chapter 1.

Also, in case you thought I was making up Lily's cat dress, here it is, in all its cat glory:

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Update: Shadowboxing Chapter 13

It's late, but it's here!

Shadowboxing, Chapter 13: Killing Time till the Day of Execution
Table of Contents

As well as applying to Asher's current situation, the absurd title may or may not be a reference to the fact that I can write slice-of-life relationship-wrangling until the world ends (with some hopefully devvy opening and closing scenes, in this case), but am also aware that I need to wrap up the legal plotline... :)

Sunday, April 8, 2018

New Story: My Perfect Ex-Boyfriend

Hi all!  I said I'd be back next week with a brand new story, so here I am, back with a brand new story!  Once again, this is the teaser:

I’ve met the greatest guy ever.

Noah Walsh is handsome as sin. He’s sweet and smart and successful and sexy—all the best adjectives beginning with “S.” My six-year-old daughter worships the ground he walks on ever since he fashioned her smiley face pancakes out of bananas and blueberries. Oh yeah, and he can cook.

The only problem?

I dumped this great guy a decade ago, right after I wrecked his life.

And boy, this man holds a grudge.

My Perfect Ex-Boyfriend

Riding with my daughter Lily on an Amtrak train may be one of the nine circles of hell.

Wednesday, April 4, 2018

Update: Shadowboxing 12, pt. 2

Last week, Roy stumbled into meeting Asher's parents in a very much unprepared fashion. This week, we'll watch him strive to figure out the rest of the encounter...

Shadowboxing, Chapter 12, pt. 2: Meet the...
Table of Contents

I found the end of this chapter quite challenging to write, and I'm still not sure that I hit it. But I hope you enjoy it, and welcome any feedback of any sort.

Monday, April 2, 2018

New Devo Diary!

Hi everyone, time for the bi-weekly update of Devo Diary. This is the last chapter of my Taipei adventures. In this chapter, I finally try out my scheme to reinvent myself as a lesbian by hanging out in the gay neighborhood and becoming a regular at a lesbian bar. Plus a surprise email from The Mantis at the end! What has he been up to while the Cruel Mistress has been away?

Devo Diary Chapter 44: The Cat House

Table of Contents

Sunday, April 1, 2018

Happy Easter!

Since I released my new book last week, there will be no updates today.  However, you can buy or download a copy of Baby Crazy on Amazon if you need something to read today:

Baby Crazy: Get it today!

I hope you check it out!  I'm keeping the price at $2.99 for now, but will probably raise it when I put the first in the series on sale, so get it now while it's cheap!  Also, next time I will hopefully be smart enough not to release my book right before a holiday weekend. 

Next week, I'm going to be back with a new story about a double above knee amputee.  Just for a little taste, this is the blurb I've been working on:

I’ve met the greatest guy ever.

Noah Walsh is handsome as sin.  He’s sweet and smart and sexy—all the best adjectives beginning with “S.” My six-year-old daughter worships the ground he walks on ever since he fashioned her smiley face pancakes out of bananas and blueberries. Oh yeah, and he can cook.

The only problem?

I dumped this great guy a decade ago, right after I wrecked his life.

And boy, this man holds a grudge.

Friday, March 30, 2018

New Book: Baby Crazy

My newest book, Baby Crazy, is finally available in the Kindle store!

Reasons why Anna Harper never wanted to have children:

-- The lifetime cost of raising a child is a quarter of a million dollars.

--The baby might vomit. And then she would have to have the entire house sterilized.

--What if while she was driving in the car, the baby managed to open its car seat, and then she got into an accident while the baby was out of the car seat?

--What if the baby doesn’t like her? After all, she has observed that most people don’t.

Reasons why Anna Harper has started trying for a baby:

--Her husband is baby crazy. And it’s beginning to seem like he can’t be happy without one.

Buy it on Amazon for only $2.99 or FREE if you have Amazon Prime or KU!

You can read the first chapter here.

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Update: Shadowboxing 12, pt. I

Hello all, here's this week's update. I've decided to split Chapter 12 into two posts, in order to avoid having to take a skip week next week (I'm extremely busy with family events this week and weekend). Luckily it's a long chapter altogether - though it didn't have a natural breaking point, so I apologize if it feels like it breaks off ungracefully.

Shadowboxing, Chapter 12, pt. I: Meet the...
Table of Contents

I hope you enjoy, and thank you yet again for all the friendly and appreciative comments!

- R

Sunday, March 25, 2018

Hi all!  This will probably be the last chapter I post of Baby Crazy!  Hope you enjoy.....

Chapter 11

Table of Contents

Also, if you go to my seldom updated blog, you can get updates on my releases and discounts by signing up for my mailing list on the sidebar!

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Update: Shadowboxing 11

Hi all -

Last week was the morning after Asher and Roy's first time together - the two worked through some baggage, with a few doses of flirting and teasing to sweeten the sour spots.

This week, we finally get to see Roy in his natural habitat...

Shadowboxing, Chapter 11: Bobbing and Weaving
Table of Contents

...except it's mostly about feelings! AGAIN! Thanks for riding along on this incredibly (for me) self-indulgent relationship-navigation extravaganza. :)

- R

Monday, March 19, 2018

New Devo Diary

I'm back! My adventures in Taipei continue. After wallowing in self-pity last chapter, this chapter things perk up again. First, I join a community chorus and start making more friends, then an obsession with a new dating site leads to a blast from my dev past. Not exactly romance, but lots of thoughts on dating while dev in this chapter.

Devo Diary Chapter 43: OkCupid

Thanks again for all your comments!

Sunday, March 18, 2018

Update to Baby Crazy

This will probably be my second to last update to Baby Crazy.  I still am getting the vibe that this is out of the realm of what most of you are looking for here, so I'm going to put up a little bit more, then those of you who are still interested can read the book.  I have something new to post starting in April!

In the last chapter, Matt was trapped on a broken stair-lift....

Chapter 10

Table of Contents

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Update: Shadowboxing 10

Ten chapters?! I've never written this much of one story before in my life...

Shadowboxing, Chapter 10: Aftershocks
Table of Contents

Thank you so much to all for the supportive messages last week. I'll be honest that my year is only going to keep on getting busier from here, and I'm quickly running out of my posting backlog. But I'll try to plan ahead better in the future to make sure that any necessary posting breaks are at least announced further in advance (and come with Roy+Asher doodles :) ).

- R

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Update to Baby Crazy

In this chapter, Anna and Matt break the news to their parents.  It's a pretty intense chapter... hope you enjoy!

Chapter 9

Table of Contents

Friday, March 9, 2018

An Encounter

Hi everyone, we have a special treat for one-shot Friday! PD member Tykes has contributed some steaming hot erotica from the point of view of a para. I'm posting it on his behalf. If you enjoy it, let him know in the comments or over on the message board and maybe we can persuade him to post here on a regular basis 😘
An Encounter 

The hotel door closes behind you, you look round nervously, no words have been said, and there is a sexual tension in the air you had long forgotten could exist.  You turn to see me approach, a steely glint in my eyes, and you back away as I wheel towards you, until your back is pressed against the wall with my frame pressing against you, pinning you against the wall.

Without a word, my hands reach up, fingers searching for the buttons and unbuttoning your blouse, pulling it open, my hands stroking then squeezing your breasts, falling to your thighs, running up and down your thighs then slipping under the hem, my hands outstretched sliding up your thighs, fingers hooking the waist of your panties. 

Pausing ... Looking you in the eyes ... 

Wednesday, March 7, 2018

No Shadowboxing this week

Hello all,

Apologies, but I got flooded with work at the beginning of this week, so I haven't had time to revise this week's chapter like I'd wanted to. (I'm a compulsive reviser.)

Retroactive spoiler: if you ever wanted to skip straight to the sex scene, last week was your chance. :)

Last chapter: Chapter 9
Table of contents

Thank you to all who've been reading and leaving enthusiastic feedback - I'm so happy that folks are enjoying the story. To make up for this week's gap, I have two Asher + Roy doodles beneath the cut -

Monday, March 5, 2018

New Devo Diary

Hi everyone, I'm back again with the latest installment of Devo Diary.

In this chapter, I move overseas temporarily and have to restart my social life in a new place. Sorry the PWDs are a bit thin on the ground, but even in a new city I'm still in the SM scene. First, I meet up with my old friend Phil. Don't worry if you don't remember him, we haven't seen him since the very end of Chapter 8 (!!) (I can't believe how much I've written). Then I hear from Warren again. Remember in the last chapter just before I left he promised to come visit me, let's see how that goes...

Devo Diary Chapter 42: Phil

Table of Contents

Thanks again for all your comments, I really appreciate it a lot! Please leave a comment!

Sunday, March 4, 2018

Update to Baby Crazy

Back again today with an update to Baby Crazy.  Things are about to get a lot more intense.....

Chapter 8: The First Trimester

Table of Contents

Also, for those of you who haven't had a chance to check it out, The Best Man is on sale for 99 cents for a very, very limited time in the US and UK.

Thursday, March 1, 2018

My Perfect Ex-Boyfriend: Chapter 2

Noah’s cabin isn’t as small as I feared it would be.  I expected some tiny little hut wedged between two trees where we’d all be forced to share one giant bed, but this cabin is more like a single-story house, with a large patio containing a porch swing and a rocking chair.  I catch a glimpse of the back porch, which seems to have a barbeque grill, as well as a table and chairs set up.  There’s a chimney, as well as a paved path leading to the front door.  It looks large enough that we’ll probably all be sleeping in at least two giant beds. 

True to form, the urge to use the bathroom has completely left Lily by the time Noah pulls up in front of the cabin.  I’m not sure of the mechanism behind how all the pee vanishes from her bladder the second we actually find a toilet.  Maybe Noah the Doctor could explain it to me.

Noah doesn’t even offer to take my bags this time.  I heave them out of his trunk and he waves a hand to lead us inside.  There are two small steps to get up to the patio, and I watch him hold onto the railing as he carefully climbs the steps.  Again, it’s not anything anyone would notice if they weren’t looking for it.

Thank God, it looks like this cabin has all the comforts of home—there’s a fully stocked kitchen, a sofa, a loveseat, and at least one indoor bathroom.  I had been seriously worried I might be squatting in an outhouse.  I think I can deal with being here for a week.

“Gwen!” Dad calls as the woman I recognize as Noah’s mother comes out from a room in the back.  She looks mostly as I remember her, although slightly older.  The lines on her face are deeper, but she still has the same strawberry blond hair pulled into a messy bun. 

“Hi, Lenny.” Gwen’s face breaks into a smile.  “How was the trip in?”

“Long,” Dad admits.

Gwen bends down next to Lily. “And you must be Lily!”

Lily nods shyly.

“I’m so glad to meet you,” Gwen says. “I got you a little present, if that’s okay.”

Lily nods more eagerly this time. Is it okay?  When has being given a present not been okay with a six-year-old?  What planet does she think this is?

Gwen straightens up and comes eye to eye with me.  She has blue eyes—Noah’s eyes.  None of the warmth that was in her voice when she spoke to my daughter is in her expression anymore.

“Hello, Bailey,” she says stiffly.  “It’s good to see you again.”

“Yes,” I murmur. “Good to see you too.”

Gwen glances at Noah’s grim expression, then back at me. “It was quite a surprise to realize who you were, but…” She shrugs helplessly. “It will have to be water under the bridge, I suppose.”

“Yes,” I say again. “Water under the bridge.”


“Come on, Bailey,” Noah says to me.  “I’ll show you your room.”

I follow him down a short hallway to a set of closed doors.  He indicates the first door, “That’s the bathroom.  We’ve got one and a half bathrooms, so we’re all going to be sharing a shower for the week.”

That’s fine.  Lily can go a shower-free week without blinking an eye—actually, it would be her preference.

He opens the second door to reveal a room with a small queen-sized bed and a cot on the floor next to it.  There’s a small dresser and a window that gives us a great view of the woods.

“This is great,” I say as I drop the duffel bags on the floor.  “Perfect.”

Noah doesn’t say anything for a minute.  He leans over and shuts the door to the bedroom, closing the two of us inside.  I suck in a breath, staring at those blue eyes, terrified of what he’s about to say to me.  Preemptively, I say, “I’m sorry.”

He raises his eyebrows.  “Oh, are you?”

I take a deep breath. “If… if it helps, I’ve spent every moment since then regretting it.”

“It doesn’t help.” His blue eyes flash and I cringe.  “You think I give a shit that you feel a little bad about the whole thing?  Are you aware what you did to me?  You have no fucking clue, do you?”

I squeeze my fists together. “Why did you invite us here? To berate me for a week?”

Noah snorts. “Please, Bailey.  Don’t flatter yourself.  I invited you here for my mother’s sake.”

“Why? Does she want to berate me for a week?”

“No, but she wants to marry your father.” He shakes his head. “Despite the fact that I told her it would be a huge mistake to get involved with anyone from the Chapin family.  But she doesn’t want to listen to me.  She’s in love.  So you and I need to get along.”

“Right,” I mumble.

He frowns at me. “I’ll be cordial, okay?  For her sake, I’ll pretend that…”

He doesn’t complete his sentence, and for that, I’m glad.

“But let’s get one thing straight,” he says in a low growl.  “I don’t forgive you.  I will never forgive you.  We will never be friends.” 

I bite my lip.  “You really hate me, don’t you?”

Noah is quiet again, as if really thinking about his answer.  “‘Hate’ doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel about you,” he finally says.

I wince.  Somehow in the time since I’d last seen Noah, I’d thought maybe he… well, maybe not forgave me, but at least didn’t think back on me with feelings of loathing.  I figured he’d moved on—got married, had a couple of kids, etc.  But that’s obviously not the case. 

“I’m sorry,” I say again. 

He shrugs, like he couldn’t care less about my apology.  Which I guess is true.

If Noah Walsh murdered me, I don’t think he’d go to jail.  There would be a trial, of course, because there would have to be.  But if the judge and jury heard the entire story, I think they’d let him off scot-free.  They’d decide he did the world a favor by getting rid of me.


I catch my father unpacking alone in the bedroom he’ll be sharing with Gwen.  He’s pulling out a pair of boxer shorts and whistling to himself. 

When is the last time I’ve heard him whistle like that?  When is the last time I’ve seen him smiling that wide?  Especially while unpacking underwear.  Some of his hair even seems to be growing back.

He looks up at the sound of my footsteps and his smile falters.  I don’t take it personally.  He knows why I’m here. He doesn’t seem any happier when I shut the door behind me.

“What the hell, Dad?” I snap at him, forgetting my age-old rule about never cussing in front of my parents.  If there’s ever a time to cuss, it’s now, damn it.

“I didn’t know,” he murmurs.

“No kidding.”  I take a deep breath, trying to control my anger.  I don’t want to yell at my elderly father, especially when he looks the happiest he’s been since Mom died.   “How could you not know?”

“Well, she told me she had a son named Noah,” he says.  “But… I didn’t realize he was that Noah.  Noah Walsh isn’t an uncommon name.  It’s not like he’s called… Benedict Cumberbatch.”

I wring my hands together.  “Did Gwen know?”

Dad shakes his head.  “No, she didn’t.  When I talked about you, I always called you Bee or just said ‘my daughter.’  She never put it together until… well, apparently Noah told her while we were on our way here.”

I bow my head and rub my temples.  “This is really awkward.”

He shrugs helplessly.  “I know, Bee.  I’m sorry.  I would never have brought you here if I realized…” He sinks down on the bed.  “But we’re here now, and I think you should make the best of it.  Gwen promised me Noah is fine with the whole thing.”

Fine with the whole thing.  Right.  Aside from despising me with every fiber of his being, he’s totally fine with it.

“Obviously, he’s doing really well for himself,” my father points out.  “He’s very successful.  He’s got an apartment up in the city, and this cabin down here, and he’s a doctor like he wanted to be, so…”

“Yeah,” I mumble, looking away.  I wanted Noah to be successful.  I wanted him to have everything he ever dreamed of.  But for some reason, now that I’m faced with it, it stings.

His brows knit together. “Bee, if you feel like you need to go back, I’ll make something up to Gwen.  Do what you need to do.”

I look at my father’s face.  It’s been less than ten years since Mom died, but Dad looks at least two decades older.  I forget how hard it’s all been on him.  He deserves happiness.  I don’t want to mess anything up for him by throwing a tantrum over something that happened a long time ago. 

Noah says he’s willing to try to put this behind him.  I guess I’ll stay.

Lily spends some time in the living room playing with her new Barbie doll while I hide in my room.  I get my sketch pad out from my bag and attempt to draw a picture of the cabin from memory.  I want to go out and take a look to see what details I’m missing, but I don’t dare leave the room.  I don’t want to risk another confrontation with Noah. 

A couple of hours later, Lily comes into our bedroom, holding her new Barbie doll.  It has blond hair and an impossibly skinny waist.  I’ve shied away from buying Lily too many Barbie dolls because they’re expensive and also because I feel like it would be nice for her to have a doll that looked more like a real woman. Of course, now there are all these dolls from other television shows like Monster High that look just look Barbies. I mean, it’s not like I’m overweight or anything—being destitute is a great diet.  But it would be anatomically impossible for me to have a figure like this doll that Lily is fawning over. 

At least, I think she’s fawning over the Barbie.  Then I discover it’s not Barbie she’s fallen in love with.

“Noah is going to cook us dinner tonight,” Lily informs me.

“Oh, is he?”

“Uh huh.” Lily nods excitedly.  “He said he’s going to make stuff on a grill.  Like with a big fire.”

“Ooh,” I say.  I wonder how old Lily will be before she can recognize my phony enthusiasm.  I hope that it doesn’t happen until her artwork gets a lot better.

“He went out this morning and bought lots of hot dogs because Grandpa said I like hot dogs,” she says.

“That’s nice of him.”

“And he said he’s going to take us to a movie this week!” Lily says.  “Maybe Dogcat.”

I grit my teeth. “We already saw Dogcat.” We saw it, it’s done, and we never have to see it again.  Never.

“Oh.” Lily’s excitement seems dampened.

“Maybe he can take us to another movie?” I suggest. 

“Okay!” Lily agrees, and before I can stop her, she runs out to find Noah, who is apparently her new hero.  Lord knows, she doesn’t have a father to be her hero.

A minute later, Lily bursts back into the room breathlessly.  “He says he’ll take us to see anything we want.”

Despite everything, I feel a rush of affection toward Noah for being so kind to my daughter. 

“Also,” Lily adds, “he’s going to take us out on his boat and we’re going to catch fish!”

I imagine being stuck out in the middle of the lake with Noah on a tiny boat while we wait for fish to nibble on our bait.  Lovely.

“I like Noah,” Lily says, her little face beaming.

“I can tell,” I say.  I grin at her. “Do you think he’s handsome, Lil?”

She giggles and hides her face in her hands.  “Mayyyyybe.  A little.”

I can’t exactly blame her.  I was certain that if I ran into Noah by now, he’d have been long since snatched up. 

“Is he married, Mommy?” she asks me.

“I don’t think so,” I say.

“How come?”

I shrug. “I guess he hasn’t met the right woman yet.”

Lily nods solemnly. “Do you think he’s looking for a woman to marry?”

“I…” I really don’t want to have this conversation with my child.  And I really hope Noah isn’t able to hear us. “I don’t know.  Maybe he doesn’t want to get married.”

 She thinks about this a minute.  “I think he should get married,” she decides.  “He’d be a good husband.”

I swallow. “You might be right.”

I look down at my sketch pad, down at the likeness of the cabin.  I’ll focus on my art this week.  Try not to think too much about the past.  I can’t change it, after all.

“Mommy?” Lily says.   

God, I can’t talk about Noah anymore.  “Uh huh?”

“Why is there a chair in the bathtub?”

I look up at Lily’s wide blue eyes.  “A chair?”

She nods. “When I went to the bathroom, there was a white chair!  In the bathtub!  And a bar sticking out of the wall!”

I bite my lip. “I don’t know, sweetie.  You’ll have to ask Noah.”

I don’t dare tell Lily that I know the answer to her question. 


By the time I emerge from the bedroom, Noah has already fired up the grill, and the tantalizing scent of grilling meat wafts from the back patio into the cabin.  They’ve got a table out on the patio, and Gwen is instructing Lily on how to set the table.  It’s such a homey scene.  I imagine an alternate universe in which the man grilling the meat is my husband, and the woman teaching Lily to set the table is my mother.  Instead, the cook hates me and my mother is dead.

“Smells good,” I comment as I emerge onto the patio.  I hope the food is close enough to done that I don’t have to make awkward conversation for too long.

Noah lifts his blue eyes briefly to glare at me as I take a seat.  He doesn’t seem quite ready to be cordial with me.  It’s a good thing we’ve got a whole week out here.

“I want a hot dog!” Lily calls out.

“Right, I got it,” Noah says.  “You want a hamburger.”

Lily giggles. “No, I said a hot dog!”

“Two hamburgers for Lily, coming right up!”

“No!” Lily is laughing so hard now that her face is turning pink.  “I want!  One!  Hot! Dog!”

Noah nods. “Got it. Ten hamburgers for Lily.”

“Be careful,” I say to Noah.  “You’re going to end up playing this game with her for the next hour.”

He winks at my daughter. “At this rate, I’m going to be grilling hamburgers for Lily for the next hour.  So you want twenty hamburgers?”

It’s sweet.  He’s good with her—I have to give him that.

The hot dogs are done first.  Noah grabs a paper plate, opens up a hot dog bun, and drops her hot dog inside. He asks her if she likes ketchup and she says yes. And before I can warn him, he gives the hot dog a spritz of ketchup.

He wouldn’t know.  He doesn’t have kids of his own, so he probably has no idea that you never add a condiment to a child’s food without asking exactly how it should be added first, because omg, you could ruin it.  Lily likes ketchup, but is very clear about the fact that you never, ever put the ketchup directly on the hot dog.  It’s the eighth deadly sin, in Lily’s eyes.  Hot dogs can only be dipped in ketchup, never slathered.  Now it’s ruined.  If we were at a restaurant, I’d be sending back the hot dog as we speak.

Lily looks down at the offending hot dog on her plate, then back up at Noah.  I would have bet my life’s savings that she wouldn’t have touched that hot dog, but to my utter shock, she sits down and starts eating it.  I can’t believe my eyes.  She must really love him.

“What do you want, Bailey?” Noah asks me without looking up from the grill.

“A cheeseburger, thanks,” I say.

Noah finishes grilling burgers and hot dogs for everyone else.  When he grabs the bag of hamburger buns off the table next to him, and they slip from his fingers and fall to the floor. He looks down at the buns on the ground and lets out a barely audible sigh.  I open my mouth, ready to offer to grab them for him.  But I suspect doing so will only make Noah hate me more.

 I pretend to look away, but I can’t help but watch him out of the corner of my eye as he holds onto the table for support as he gets down on one knee.  He picks up the buns, then hauls himself back up, still gripping to the table for dear life.  Once he’s back on his feet again, he looks in my direction, but I’ve busied myself by staring out at the lake in the distance.

“These hamburgers are amazing,” Dad says to Noah once we all have our plates of food.

“Thanks,” he says.

“Noah loves the grill,” Gwen says.  “He buys charcoal by the truckload.”

The cheeseburger in front of me smells so amazing that my stomach rumbles, reminding me that my lunch consisted of a bag of Doritos on the train.  I pick up the burger and take a bite and…

Ugh, this is terrible!

The burger Noah served me is charred to a crisp.  I feel like I just ate a mouthful of somebody’s incinerator. 

I look at my father and Gwen, who are happily munching on their burgers.  There’s no way their burgers taste like mine.  This is practically inedible.

“What’s wrong, Mommy?” Lily asks.  “Don’t you like your burger?”

I notice that Noah is watching me, a tiny smile playing on his lips.  “Yeah, Bailey, is something wrong with the burger I made you?”

I swallow hard.  “It’s just…” I notice that everyone is staring at me. “It’s a little bit burned.  That’s all.”

Dad seems aghast at my comment. Gwen glares at me.  “It’s from a grill.  They have a char to them. It’s not going to taste like the burgers at McDonald’s.”

“Right.” I feel my cheeks growing hot.  “Actually, it’s fine.  Just… you know, a tiny bit burned.  Not even.  I shouldn’t have mentioned it.”

I take another bite of my burger.  It takes superhuman effort not to spit the damn thing out.  I glance over at Noah, who is chuckling to himself.  Asshole.

“If you don’t like it, Mommy,” Lily says to me, “Noah says we’re having more for dessert.”

I frown. “More?  You mean, more burgers?  For dessert?”

Lily nods eager. “Yeah, Noah says it’s the best dessert. More!”

Noah grins at her. “No, that’s s’mores.  We’re having s’mores for dessert.  We can make ‘em right on the grill.”

“I don’t think she knows what s’mores are,” I tell Noah.

His eyes widen.  “Lily, you’ve never had s’mores before?”

Lily shakes her head solemnly as she always does when she knows she’s going to experience something really meaningful or delicious.

“Really?” Noah is incredulous.  “But your mom and I used to…”

He cuts his own thought off mid-sentence.  I wonder if he’s remembering the same thing I am.  The two of us, cuddled together by a campfire, roasting marshmallows on sticks we found in the woods.  The woods used to scare me, but with my head resting on Noah’s broad shoulder and his arm around me, I felt completely safe and warm and happy.

I used to love s’mores.

“Hasn’t your dad ever taken you camping?” Noah asks Lily.

Lily crinkles her nose. “He doesn’t like that.”

“Theo isn’t what you’d call the outdoors type,” Dad volunteers.  “He’s more the lazy, deadbeat musician type.”

And then everyone laughs.  Ha ha, my ex-husband is a big loser and I’m a loser for having married him.  Real hilarious.

“Well, I’ll have to show you some cool outdoorsy stuff this week then,” Noah tells Lily. “Starting with s’mores, okay?”

Lily nods eagerly. “What are s’mores?”

“Basically,” he says, “you melt some marshmallow on a piece of graham cracker, then you cover that with chocolate.”

I think he had her at “some marshmallow.”

To be continued....
P.S.  I've been debating how much of the flashbacks from Noah and Bailey's past to include here.  There was one that's in the original that I cut out to keep the flow and get to the devvy parts faster.  But what do you think?  Include flashbacks or no?

Wednesday, February 28, 2018

Update: Shadowboxing 9

Happy Wednesday! Here's the next chapter of Shadowboxing.

This week's chapter features more NSFW art - but I'll always put NSFW stuff at the very end of the post in case you just want to read somewhere public-ish without raising any eyebrows. :)

Shadowboxing, Chapter 9: And the Night Came On
Table of Contents

Thank you to all who've been reading.

- R

Sunday, February 25, 2018

Update to Baby Crazy

The next chapter of Baby Crazy happens another four months later.  This is a pretty intense one.  And hopefully a devvy one too. 

Chapter 7: Four months later

Table of Contents

Saturday, February 24, 2018

Update: Lobster, With A Straw

Haha, I almost forgot I need to post the last chapter if I want you to read it. Sorry :) So, here it is: Chapter 9. I had fun writing this story and reading your comments, I hope you had fun with Patrick, Lauren and Romina. See you around on this blog, hopefully.
Table Of Content

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Update: Shadowboxing 8

This and next week's chapters are my two favorite chapters out of the twelve-ish that I've written so far - so I hope you enjoy them, too.

In last week's chapter, Asher took some time to reflect on the first few weeks of his relationship with Roy, and his good friend Amy administered a bit of tough love, nudging him to consider some of the many things he doesn't yet know about Mr. Strong-and-Silent. 

This week, Asher will start wading/rolling into that territory:

Shadowboxing, Chapter 8: Past is Present
Table of Contents

Thank you so much to all for the sweet, funny, and appreciative comments you've been leaving. Feels good. :)

- R

Monday, February 19, 2018

New Devo Diary

Whew, I almost didn't make it this week, but here is the latest chapter of Devo Diary. It's a whirlwind month, with the opera performance finally happening, then as soon as it's over, I leave for a six month trip overseas and it's time to say goodbye to the guys I've been seeing.

Devo Diary Chapter 41: Goodbye to Warren, William and The Mantis

But fret not, we will still hear from The Mantis in future chapters, and this is not at all the end of my devvy misadventures.

Table of Contents

Sunday, February 18, 2018

Update to Baby Crazy

OK, this week we're back with Baby Crazy! 

It's been two months since Matt and Anna started trying for a baby.  Two months since Anna stopped her medications.  Are they pregnant yet?

Chapter 6: Two months later

Table of Contents
Thank you in advance for any comments.  I of course worry that this story is not the typical boy meets girl so people aren't enjoying it as much.  So it helps!

Saturday, February 17, 2018

Update: Lobster, With A Straw

Hi guys,
this is the second to last chapter of Lobster, With A Straw: Chapter 8! There's romance and some sort of revelation, and more romance :) Hope you like it, have fun.
Table Of Content

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Update: Shadowboxing, Chapter 7

Happy Valentine's Day!

This week's chapter is extra-long, and, having been reminded by a commenter last week that today would be Valentine's Day, I've popped in a slightly steamy Asher + Roy illustration that I'd originally planned for later. Nothing explicit, but let's call it NSFW just to be, well, safe.

Shadowboxing, Chapter 7: Amy Opines
Table of Contents

Hope you enjoy!

- Rowan

Sunday, February 11, 2018

Valentine's Date Disaster

I'm taking a hiatus just this week from Baby Crazy for something different.....

So there were so many people giving me positive feedback on Callie and Dean from Santa Crush and wanting to read more of them, I got inspired to write another novella about them.....

Valentine's Date Disaster


I’m trying to catch a virus.
No, not a real virus, like the kind that makes you sneeze and cough and possibly throw up. I’m talking about the kind that ends up on my computer and opens up a million pop-up windows and steals my credit card information and all my passwords. I’ve downloaded viruses by accident dozens of times before. Honestly, it’s sort of my thing.
I mean, if you got an email that said “Open this attachment to get a special free gift,” you’d open it, right? I’m not made of stone!
Of course, now that I actually want to contract a virus, it’s proving to be impossible. I’m sitting on the futon in the living room of our tiny apartment, my laptop balanced on my legs, sifting through the spam folder in my email, looking for anything suspicious.
Like here: this one isn’t even in English. Falls Sie interessiert sind kontaktieren Sie mich! I have no clue what that means, but it sounds like a scam. That said, there’s no attachment. There’s nothing I can click on that will worm its way onto my hard drive and corrupt all my data.
I think I need to start looking at porn.
“What are you doing, Callie?” My roommate Rhea lazily pads into the room, still wearing her pajamas and fuzzy slippers at two in the afternoon, her hair pulled into a messy ponytail. I can’t throw stones though, since I’m still wearing pajamas and fuzzy slippers too. Sundays are a lazy day.
“Nothing,” I say as I quickly minimize the screen.
Rhea frowns. “Look, I don’t want to be judgmental, but if you’re going to look at scat porn, could you at least go to your room?”
“I wasn’t…” I bring up the window I’d had up when Rhea walked in. Ew! “That was an accident.”
“Like I said, no judgment, Callie. Although it does explain why you don’t date much.”
“I’m not into scat porn!” I close the window, hoping that it doesn’t bring up twelve more windows of… well, that. “I promise. I was only looking at porn so I could catch a virus.”
Rhea scratches at her belly, a deep furrow between her eyebrows. “Huh?”
“It’s just…” I let out a sigh and drop my head back against the couch. “I’m trying to figure out an excuse to invite Dean over. And he’s this total computer genius, so I figured if I got a virus on my computer, I’d have a perfect excuse to invite him over to help me get rid of it.”

Saturday, February 10, 2018

Update: Lobster, With A Straw

Hi everyone,
and here's Chapter 7 for you guys! Thank you so, so much for your comments, they always make me smile :)
Table Of Content

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Update: Shadowboxing 6

Hi all -

Here's the last chapter that will closely follow Asher and Roy's first date, plus, finally, a sketch of the two of them together.

Shadowboxing, Chapter 6: Night
Table of Contents

Thank you so much for all of the lovely feedback, and happy reading.

- Rowan

Monday, February 5, 2018

New Devo Diary

Hey, I'm back with your bi-weekly installment of Devo Diary. This slower pace is really working well for me, and I can post longer chapters. I hope it's not too long between installments for you all as readers.

You guys, so many things happen in this chapter that I had a hard time thinking up a title. I get up to some varsity-level SM activities with Warren and with The Mantis, but some other heavy things happen too.

Devo Diary Chapter 40: The Needles

Table of Contents

Thank you for reading and commenting!

Sunday, February 4, 2018


For those of you who enjoyed Santa Crush, stay tuned in the next day or two for a new book called Valentine's Date Disaster, about Dean and Callie's first date!

Update to Baby Crazy

Thanks for the comments last week!  Last week, Anna went a little crazy at the idea of getting pregnant.  This week, Anna reveals the real reason why she doesn't want to get pregnant.

Chapter 5

Ooh, and I made a Table of Contents!

Saturday, February 3, 2018

Update: Lobster, With A Straw

Hi everyone,
here's Chapter 6! We'll get to know Patrick's brother and we'll learn more about Lauren. I hope you like it, I very much appreciate your feedback :)
Have a great weekend,
Table Of Content

Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Update: Shadowboxing 5

The first date continues! Oh my.

If you haven't been following along, Shadowboxing is an M/M novella featuring Asher, a talkative yet romantically shy fella with cerebral palsy, and Roy, an occasionally not-so-gentle giant who has a stutter and rescued Asher from a sticky situation at the beginning of the story. In this chapter, they're headed to Asher's place to continue getting to know each other.

Shadowboxing, Chapter 5: Nolite te bastardes carborundorum
Table of Contents

- Rowan

Sunday, January 28, 2018

Update to Baby Crazy

So after a comment last week, I went through the chapter I had already written, and tried to inject a little more "devviness".  You can let me know how successful I was.

In the last scene, Anna stormed up the stairs when Matt suggested making a baby.  Will he follow?  Can he?

Chapter 4

The entire story

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Update: Shadowboxing 4

Thanks so much to everyone for all the love for the boys so far. :) I'm so very appreciative of the community and enthusiasm.

Here's the next chapter of Shadowboxing, featuring the agony of "will he/won't he text back," and a sketch of Asher:

Shadowboxing, Chapter 4: View from the Morning
Table of Contents

- Rowan

Monday, January 22, 2018

New Devo Diary!

Hi everyone, I'm back! This every other week posting schedule is a lot more manageable for me. Hopefully this will allow me to keep updating regularly rather than going on a long hiatus.

Devo Diary Chapter 39: William, part 2

Thanks for reading and commenting! I really appreciate all the comments.

Table of Contents

Sunday, January 21, 2018

Update to Baby Crazy

Thank you for all your comments last week!  I wasn't sure about this story because romance usually involves boy meets girl kind of stuff, not two married people thinking about having a baby.  That said, I struggled a little with whether to post Anna's chapter here, because I wanted to dive right into the nitty gritty stuff. But it's sort of important to her character development?  I don't know!  Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!  Love feedback!

Chapter 3

The entire story

Saturday, January 20, 2018

Update: Lobster, With A Straw

Hi guys, I'm so happy to write this update because I can finally show you this absolutely incredible, amazing drawing by Rowan that I love to pieces and also find soooo freaking devy... =) Thanks again, Rowan, it still blows my mind!

Lauren and Patrick. Art by Rowan
For everyone who is curious to know how Lauren and Patrick's evening continues: Here's Chapter 4! And because I wanted to give Rowan's drawing a proper place I made a Table Of Content.

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Update: Shadowboxing (now including ToC)

Happy Wednesday, all. Here's the next chapter of Shadowboxing, in which we find out just how Asher got himself into the sticky situation in which Roy met him - plus the beginnings of a Table of Contents for your convenience.

Chapter 3: Scheherezade

Table of Contents

Thank you again for reading, and for all of your kind and enthusiastic feedback so far.

- Rowan

Sunday, January 14, 2018

Update to Baby Crazy

Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who read and commented last week.  I love this story, so I'm happy you guys do too!  This week is chapter two, which involves Viagra and possibly some babymaking, who knows? ;)

Chapter 2

And in case you missed it, here is Chapter 1.

Saturday, January 13, 2018

Update: Lobster, With A Straw

Hi guys, here's Chapter 3 of Lobster, With A Straw! I really appreciate your comments, you definitely made my days last week.
Have a wonderful weekend,

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Update: Shadowboxing

Thanks so much to all for last week's warm reception - it's been giving me that happy glow all week. Here's the next chapter of Shadowboxing, in which Asher receives an intriguing revelation about Roy.

Chapter 2: At the Bus Stop

And here's Chapter 1 in case you missed it.

The next few chapters will be almost twice as long, so this week's briefer chapter includes a bonus sketch of Roy - since nothing says self-indulgence to me like making time to draw my already self-indulgent characters. :)

- Rowan

Monday, January 8, 2018

New Devo Diary

Hey everyone, Devo Diary is back! I'm still not sure if I can keep up with the pace of posting every week, but I have a new chapter and I wanted to share it right away, before you all forget what was in the previous chapters.

In case you did forget, at this point I'm singing in an opera where I get to dress as a fairy, and getting more and more into the SM scene with my friends from the opera, Lulu and Marty. Sarah is my red-haired friend from grad school, kind of moody and insecure. The guys I'm seeing are Atom the Archaeologist (a sexy but pretentious hipster who likes to be pegged), Brenno the Baritone (a friend with benefits who's about to move to Italy for work), Warren (the IT nerd who's very active in the SM scene), and of course The Mantis, the sexy submissive para. 

In this chapter, yet another AB guy asks me out, but don't worry, there is still more of the Mantis. He's not going to disappear anytime soon :)

Devo Diary Chapter 38: William, part 1

So with this chapter I'm going to switch to posting every other week. There seem to be some other days free so if any authors want to jump in, please leave Monday to me for now. If the other days get filled up I'm willing to alternate but only if we work out the details in advance and the other days are taken. Thanks!

Table of Contents

Baby Crazy: Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Sunday, January 7, 2018

New story: Baby Crazy

Hi all!  I'm back with a brand new story, called Baby Crazy.

I noticed there hasn't been one story on the blog that deals with a wheeler who is trying to make a baby or dealing with parenthood (or impending parenthood).  So that's the focus of this story.  Hope you enjoy!  Please let me know your thoughts!!!

Baby Crazy


Reasons not to ever have children

1. I am 36 years old, which is considered advanced maternal age, which means my risk of complications both for myself and my unborn child is significantly increased.

2. The lifetime cost of raising a child is a quarter of a million dollars.

3. I would have to change diapers.

4. While I would of course properly clean my hands after changing the child’s diapers, I could not guarantee anyone else (such as my parents) would do so, which means people with hands contaminated with fecal matter would be in my home.  I suppose I could ask them to leave immediately after changing a diaper, although this seems like the sort of thing my husband Matt says does not endear me to people.

5. We have 36 light sockets in my house, all of which would be a terrible opportunity for the baby to be electrocuted.  Yes, we would use socket protectors, but I suspect any child of mine would be intelligent enough to easily circumvent such a precaution.

6. The baby might vomit.  And then we’d have to have the entire house sterilized.

7. The amount of time I would lose from work for both the labor itself and the subsequent maternity leave, not to mention any time I would need to be absent for the child being sick, would seriously jeopardize my career and chances of promotion.

8. What if the baby tried to eat a banana and choked on it?

9. What if the baby tried to eat a grape and choked on it?

10. What if while I was driving in the car, the baby managed to open its car seat, and then I got into an accident while the baby was out of the car seat?

11. What if the baby doesn’t like me?  After all, most people don’t.

Reasons to have children:

1. I am beginning to think my husband wants one.

Saturday, January 6, 2018

Update: Lobster, With A Straw

Hi guys, thank you sooo freaking much for those comments on the first chapter of Lobster, With A Straw! Holy shit, this seriously made my week :) You're all amazing!!!
As promised, I'll start posting regularly on Saturdays again. Starting right now with Lobster, With A Straw - Chapter 2. Have fun!

Thursday, January 4, 2018

The final chapter of "Christmas Crush" is here!

So sorry for taking so long to publish it.  I hope it was worth the wait.

Chapter 5

As I've said before I do have plans for a sequel, the storyline is outlined roughly, but I want to wrap up the unfinished stories I have on the site before I starte writing and publishing that.

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

New author, new story: Shadowboxing

Hello Paradevo folks -

Longtime reader, frequent anony-commenter, and first-time author here! I'm nervous and excited to share the first chapter of "Shadowboxing" with you, a moody M/M story. "Shadowboxing" will update on Wednesdays.

Paradevo was close to life-saving for me, when it came to rehabilitating my self-image and making me feel less alone and dysfunctional. So I thank you all deeply for the community that you have provided. I hope you enjoy the story.

Chapter 1: Joyride

- Rowan

Monday, January 1, 2018

Baby Crazy, Chapter 2


I could see Matt liked the 3-D pen I bought him, but between you and me, that wasn’t his real present.  His real present is something he’s been wanting for a very long time.  Something I’ve been resistant to give him.  Because it would have resulted in a complete disruption of our home.

But I’ve been on my medications for a long time now, and I’ve made great strides.  I’m finally ready.

When we get back to our house, I’m nearly shaking with excitement.  I can’t wait to see Matt’s face when he discovers what my real gift is.  He will be so thrilled.

Matt parks the car in our driveway, but doesn’t get out of the car immediately.  He stops for a moment, then turns to stare at me.  He reaches out and touches my chin gently with the back of his fingers.  “Can we go up to the bedroom now?”

I smile.  In the time I’ve been with Matt, he’s never made me feel like anything less than the world’s most desirable woman.  Considering I have been outright called a “cold fish” by at least one man in the past, it’s no trivial feat. 

And after all these years, I find him just as sexy as I did back when we were just coworkers who occupied adjacent cubicles—and I used to fantasize about the impossible dream of being something more to him. 

The truth is I still fantasize about him while I’m at work.

“Soon,” I say.  “I just want to show you something.”

He raises his eyebrows at me.  “Show me what?”

“Something you’ll like.”


I nod and shove him playfully in the direction of his driver’s side door.  “Yes, get out of the car!”

Of course, I have to get out first so Matt can push my seat forward and grab his wheelchair from the back.  I’m not one to be in a hurry usually, but right now, I wish he didn’t take quite so long to get out of the car.  Not to say he takes that long, but he can’t just hop out like I do.

I dart ahead to open the front door, but I let Matt enter the house first so he gets to see my surprise.  I watch his face, getting a thrill at the way his eyes widen.

“Holy shit…”

I beam at him.  “You like it?”

He’s gazing up at the seventy-five inch HD smart TV that is now mounted on our living room wall.  I’ve seen him ogling these televisions online and even brought up the possibility of getting one, but I resisted because I knew it would involve a major reorganization of the living room.  I have had the living room in the exact same configuration since I moved in here, save for moving the couch a few inches to allow more space for Matt to maneuver his chair.  I was not enthusiastic about changing anything else in the living room, but I knew how much he wanted this television. 

Matt is gaping at the rest of the living room.  “Everything is different…”

I nod eagerly.  “I had Jake over earlier while you were at work.  We took measurements to make sure your chair would still fit everywhere.  He helped me move everything and mount the television.”  I hesitate.  “But it’s not hooked up or anything.  He said you could handle that, right?”

Some of the shock has faded from my husband’s face and he grins at me.  “Hell yeah I can.”

I knew he could.  Matt loves fiddling with gadgets.  While I am an extremely proficient coder, he could take a computer apart and put it back together with his eyes closed and one hand tied behind his back.  Hooking up the Smart TV will be a breeze for him. 

“So you like it, right?” I ask, because he hasn’t outright said so yet.

“Christ, I love it.”  Without warning, he grabs me and pulls me into his lap.  I laugh and cling to his neck so I don’t lose my balance.  “This is incredible, Anna.  I can’t believe you did this for me.”

I lean my head against his neck.  “Well, I got a very good deal on it, actually.”

“Not just the TV but…” He waves his hand around the room.  “The whole living room.  You changed everything.”


It was hard for me.  I’m not going to lie and say it wasn’t hard.  I had to throw out a bunch of my belongings because there was no longer room.  I moved an entire wall of photos.  After Jake and I shifted the sofa ninety degrees, I had to run upstairs and take a Xanax. Even now, looking at the room, I feel uneasy.  If I start thinking about it, I’m sure a cold sweat will break out in the back of my neck.  So instead, I cuddle closer to Matt.

“It was worth it,” I tell him.  “For you.”

He kisses me then, one of those long, luxurious kisses that would have been unthinkable a decade ago, but now makes me tingle delightfully all over my body.  I want him.  So, so much.

“Do you want to go upstairs now?” I breathe in his ear.

He hesitates for several seconds before grinning sheepishly.  “Uh… would you mind if I messed around with the TV for, like, half an hour?”

As much as I wanted to show Matt the other surprise I’ve got waiting for him in the bedroom, I can only laugh.  I’m really glad he likes my present.



I end up messing around with the new TV for about an hour and a half.  I know—I’m the biggest loser on the planet.  Why the hell was I fiddling with a TV set when I had a gorgeous wife who wanted to get me into the bedroom? 

In my defense, it’s an HD Smart TV.  With over eight million pixels.  And a spatial scaling engine.  I mean, I couldn’t go to bed without at least hooking it up to my Xbox and seeing what it was like to play a game on it.

Anyway, I eventually came to my senses and now Anna is in the bathroom, preparing some sort of other surprise for me.  I’m simultaneously blown away by how awesome she is and also guilty I didn’t get her a present that took her breath away. 

Before Anna gets out of the bathroom, I open the drawer on the bedside dresser where I keep my medications.  I don’t keep my meds in the medicine cabinet like a normal person, because it’s just a little high for me to reach, and I figure I’ll end up knocking one of the bottles into the sink at some point. 

I have six bottles of pills in the drawer.  One is the muscle relaxant that’s supposed to help with the spasms I get in my legs, although it barely helps.  Another prevents bladder spasms, so when I have to go to the bathroom, it isn’t quite so urgent.  I swallow both of those pills with the glass of water I keep on the dresser. 

 The next two bottles are Tylenol and Percocet.  So here’s the deal: I sit basically all day.  I also spend more than half my waking hours hunched over a computer screen.  And I use my hands and wrists to both push my chair and to type.  All that means the chance of not being in some kind of pain at the end of the day is virtually nil.  Right now, the pain sits between my shoulder blades—a dull ache that turns into a sharp jab when I use my arms to shift my position in my chair.  It’s not great, but it’s tolerable, which means I don’t need the Percocet.  I opt for the Tylenol, like most nights.

The next bottle is a medication I don’t take anymore.  It’s an antidepressant.  I started taking it about a month after I started using my wheelchair full time.  I was ashamed to be on it, but I really needed it back then.  Badly.  But after moving in with Anna and then getting married, any residual depression I’d been feeling vanished completely, so I got myself off it.  One less medication to have to worry about.  Sure, I have bad days here and there.  But not anything I can’t handle. 

The last bottle is Viagra.

That one I need.  And will always need.  Yeah, I feel like a loser being thirty-four years old and needing to pop a pill to get it up, but there it is.  And that’s not to say I can’t get it up without Viagra, because I can sometimes, but it’s not reliable.  Without it, there’s a fifty-fifty chance I’ll have trouble, and nothing is un-sexier than failing to get hard enough to penetrate your wife.  And even with the Viagra, there’s some chance I’ll have trouble, but it’s not too common.  Usually, I’m okay with the Viagra.

So I take one now.  It’s our anniversary, after all.  I want to be ready for whatever surprise Anna’s got for me.

After taking my pills, I transfer from my wheelchair into our bed.  I pull my undershirt off over my head and drape it on the back of my chair to wear it later, so now I’m wearing nothing but my boxers.  I’m propped up against the pillows, and I glance down at my chest, trying to see it as Anna will when she comes into the room.  Yes, we’re married so it’s a done deal, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to look good for her.  I mean, she’s really hot, so I want to look at least decent.

My chest is good.  Maybe even better than good.  I don’t manage to make time to work out much anymore, but I do everything with my upper body now, so I have muscles I never had before.  Objectively, I think I’m okay in that department.  And from the neck up, I’m also okay.  Women have mostly liked the way I look. 

From the waist down, there’s nothing too terrible either.  My legs aren’t muscular, obviously, but they’re not stick-thin either.  Even though I can’t move them, I’ve still got some muscle tone.  Only problem is since I don’t have any strength in my legs, when they’re lying out in front of me like they are right now, my ankles turn in and my feet hang down and knock against each other.  I don’t like the way it looks, considering I’m attempting to be sexy for Anna.

I move my legs so they’re lined up next to each other, my knees and ankles now touching.  But somehow that looks worse.  Artificial.

I sigh and just throw the blanket over my legs so they’re completely covered. 


I nearly doze off waiting for Anna to get out of the bathroom.  Christ, she takes forever in there.  I don’t even know what she’s doing, aside from brushing her teeth, brushing her hair, washing her face, and swallowing her own pills.  I get a sudden urge to yell at Anna to ditch the birth control pills.  Tell her let’s make a baby tonight. 

But I get the feeling saying that would kill the mood.

It turns out it’s worth the wait when I see what she’s wearing. Anna peeks her head out of the bathroom door and gives me a nervous smile before coming out into the bedroom. She’s got on nothing but a lacy red bra, and instead of panties, she’s wearing…

What the hell is that?

“What are you wearing?” I ask her as I struggle to sit up straight in bed and get a closer look.

Anna grins at me.  “They’re edible panties.”


She’s wearing what is essentially a G-string made out of rainbow-colored hard candies.  I stare at her in those edible panties, and feel myself getting hard, even though it’s too soon for the Viagra to have kicked in.

“I have the coolest wife in the world,” I manage.

She laughs and shakes her head.

“What?” I say.

“I think,” she says, “this is the first time ever that anyone has ever called me the coolest anything in the world.”

“C’mere,” I say.

She climbs into bed beside me, but all I can think about is eating those candy panties off her.  Maybe I didn’t buy her an enormous TV or drape myself in edible boxers, but I can sure as hell make her scream tonight.  I’m determined.

After we make out for a few minutes, I transfer back into my chair to have more leverage to eat these panties off her.  She lies on the bed, spreads her legs, and I take a minute just to look at her.  Sometimes it floors me this woman is my wife.  She’s so freaking sexy.  I know she wishes she had more curves or bigger tits, but she’s wrong—she’s perfect.

I lower my head to examine the edible panties.  The candies are the same kind that are on those string bracelets they give out during Halloween.  I remember liking those as a kid.  These edible panties are bringing back memories.

I choose a pink candy and dig my teeth into it.  I bite down, except to my dismay, the candy doesn’t give.  I bite a little harder, but no luck.  I roll the candy back in my mouth to try to bite it with my molars, but the candy is holding fast.  I try a second candy—a blue one this time, but it’s equally rigid.


“Anna.” I lift my head.  “These candies are too hard.  I’m going to break my teeth on these things.”

“Really?” She props herself up on her elbows.  “You can’t bite through them?”

I shake my head regretfully.

My heart skips a beat as she removes the panties entirely.  She tries to chomp on one of the candies, her brow creased in a frown.  I can tell she’s not having any better luck than I did.

“Well,” she finally says, “they were only seven dollars on Amazon.”

“That’s okay.” I tug them out of her hand and toss them on the floor.  “As long as they’re off, right?”

Anna grins at me.  “I love you, Matt.”

I place my hand on her knee.  “I love you too, Anna.”

I may not have bought Anna an expensive TV, but I make her very, very happy tonight.

To be continued...
Note: This story is meant to stand alone, but it is technically a sequel to my book, Crazy in Love.  You don't have to purchase Crazy in Love to enjoy this story, but several devs have told me it's one of the devviest things they've ever read, so, you know... :)