Only in My Dreams?

She walked into the bar just as he was sipping his beer. The way the gentle light of the entryway shone, it picked up the perfect tint of her blond hair, he almost choked on the pilsner he was sipping. She was literally breath taking. She too looked his way, their eyes locked and the feeling was mutual. Their eyes remained locked on each other, followed by words then drinks, then dinner. They were like opposite poles of a magnet, instant attraction. Now they were in the bedroom of his stylish downtown condo, this gorgeous work of art laying naked on his bed. He began to shed his clothes. His manhood fully erect and ready for business. He climbed on the bed hovering over her and began to kiss every part of her body. Then just as he was about to head into her, there was a gentle knock at the door. He turned to see, who could that possibly be...

The door slowly opened and it was Maureen, his personal care attendant.

Wait what?!?!

It all came crashing down. Maureen opened the door fully and said Good Morning.

JD was still confused about which world he was in. Where did the vixen he was about to make love to go? He looked around at his surroundings trying to clear the cloud of confusion in his mind. Looking up he saw the hoist device, sling attached, with its track affixed to the ceiling. To the right a large black electric wheelchair, to the left a shower chair. JD was back now. Sadly, he slowly gained the clarity to realize he was back in the real world and Maureen had come in at the usual time to perform the bodily tasks JD could no longer perform.

She pulled off the blanket that covered him, turned off the pressure relief mattress, raised the head of the bed. His actual life became ever more clear to him now. Splints on both his feet and hands to keep his fingers and toes he could not move or feel from curling into a permanent fetal position. As Maureen removed the splints and began to stretch his thin, atrophied limbs, JD caught a glimpse of his manhood, lifeless and hanging slightly to the left. What an incredible dream he thought and could not believe how real it was.

A lot of JD’s time in the mornings was spent dreaming about a life that could have been. As Maureen lowered the bed and rolled him on to his left side laying down the chux pad to start his bowel routine, JD began to day dream about what life would have been had he made love to that woman. He probably would be married to the girl in his dreams by then. Before his accident, JD could practically sleep with any girl he talked to. A star athlete in high school, captain of the baseball team, invitations to eight different prestigious universities all offering him full ride scholarships sitting on his desk at home. He had just been crowned prom king, voted most likely to succeed, most popular and best looking in his senior class. Six foot tall, and a perfectly sculpted body with almost no body fat, JD loved being the center of attention.

The smell of his own shit returned him to reality as Maureen coaxed out that last two days of solid waste from JDs colon. It was his love of attention that put JD in this position. Always wanting to be the star of the show, JD, and the beers he had consumed clouded his then 18-year old testosterone filled brain as he crawled up the rocks on the shore of the lake. The sun was hot, which only increased the effects of the alcohol. JD told all of his friends to watch as he dove into the water. Not something most 18-years take notice of, but the lack of snow in the north part of the state earlier in the winter meant no snowmelt to fill up the lake as JD’s head hit the lake floor sending a shockwave of energy down his neck. The force of his body reacting to hitting something solid, shattered his 4th cervical vertebrae sending tiny shards of bone into his spinal cord. That was the last time JD ever voluntarily moved anything below his shoulders.

Maureen finished the bowel program, rolled JD back over, tossing his arms around like they were pillows. She lowered the sling and slid it under him, attached the hooks and raised his naked body up into the air. JD looked down at his bony knees, toothpick arms, and a buddha quad belly that had formed from ten years of inactivity. He gave a sigh as Maureen pulled the sling over the shower chair and lowered JD down. The shower, the only thing JD enjoyed of his morning routine, the chance to feel warm water on his head and neck. The absence of sensation in the rest of his body made his cheeks and chin all the more sensitive. It was as if his body had rewired itself to gain physical enjoyment from such a small area.

Maureen scrubbed JD’s lifeless body, shaved his face and finished up the last of the morning duties. She then lowered a dressed JD into his wheelchair, strapped the belts across his waist and chest, positioned his arms in the arm troughs and moved the sip and puff straw in front of his mouth. JD would spend the next 12 hours in this chair, the only freedom and independence he now had.

JD was fed a small breakfast and then sip and puffed his way over to his work desk to start his day. After his injury, JD went into a deep depression. His parents added a wing on to their huge house to accommodate his new reality but talking about their crippled son at parties was something his high society parents were not going to do. JD’s dad was angry that his son threw away a promising baseball career by becoming paralyzed. JD was basically a prisoner left to be forgotten in his parents home. To add to the stress JD’s live-in aide at the time was both verbally and physically abusive. Finally through the help of others, JD got out of that situation and managed to start college. Since his body no longer worked he had to focus on what the mind could do. He ended up getting his accounting degree and was working for a medical supply company as their senior accountant. This job allowed him to work most days from home and occasional office visits for meetings.

Maureen placed the headset on JD’s head and made sure the all the mouth sticks JD used for his work were all in place. She gathered her things and left. JD had about an hour alone before Mike, his full time live-in attendant arrived from his days off.

JD answered several emails, checked on the status of some projects and put the finishing touches on the big project that was supposed to be presented later on that day. This project unfortunately had to be done in person which meant a trip to the office. After tilting his wheelchair back to shift his weight Mike advised him that it was time for lunch and then they needed load up into the van and head to the office for the big presentation.

JD told Mike he wanted a very light lunch. JD was keenly aware that his lack of movement meant that he barely burned any calories. He didn’t eat a lot fearing he would gain additional weight. Today though he didn’t want to eat because he was nervous about having to present this proposal at his office in front of a group of people. He knew everyone gets nervous speaking in front of others but he especially didn’t like it now that he was strapped to a wheelchair unable to move his body except for turning his head and shrugging his shoulders. He often felt the looks of pity as he scanned those he was speaking in front of or that he was viewed as some kind of inspiration for managing to make it to the office with such a disability. Either way he hated being the center of attention. He knew this customer was important to his boss so he ate what Mike fed him. Mike emptied his JD’s leg bag and then they headed down the elevator to the parking garage where his van was located.

As Mike opened the door to the office JD was greeted by several of those that he leads. He was given a status report and expertly sipped and puffed his wheelchair to the large conference room. JD’s admin assistant made sure the powerpoint presentation was loaded in the computer and plugged in the computer controller to the switch on JD’s wheelchair near his left shoulder. With this set up JD could advance the slides by shrugging his left left shoulder.

The presentation was a success and the customer signed the multimillion dollar contract. JD’s boss was very happy and insisted that they go out and celebrate this huge win, mostly due to JD’s hard work. JD wasn’t a fan of the bar scene, mostly due to all the stares and difficulty in drinking a cold beer when it has to be held up to your mouth so you can drink it through a straw, but tonight there was no getting out of it, the boss insisted.

Mike unloaded JD out of the van at the bar which was just a few blocks from his condo. Inside the bar it was filled with young yuppie professionals all blowing off steam after a long work day. JD and his party settled in a corner of the bar and the first round was ordered. JD’s boss gave a toast to the success of the project and made a major announcement. Due to his hard work, he was promoting JD to the role of vice president of accounting. Lots of cheers and another round of beers.

JD completed another weight shift and as he was bringing his chair back to the upright position, he looked at the entry door. He saw her. The girl from his dream walking in. She was more beautiful in person. He was in a trance as he watched her and her girlfriend walk to the bar and sit down on two stools and order their drinks. Mike must have noticed JD staring. He asked JD what was going on. JD, with now two beers making its way through his body, normally would have said nothing and changed subject, but instead told Mike that he had the most vivid dream about a girl last night and that was her! Mike suggested that JD buy her and her friend some drinks cause Mike thought her friend was cute. No way, JD responded. His confidence in socializing with the opposite sex left the same time his ability to control his body did. Girls aren’t interested in quadriplegics who need to be fed, dressed, turned and bathed. They are just interested in being friends.

Mike told him he had nothing to lose why not just buy them a round of drinks. The beers were definitely talking now along with the elation of a big job promotion. Perhaps he let his guard down and took Mike’s suggestion. Mike flagged the waitress down and JD told her to buy the two ladies at the bar a round on him. The waitress obliged. JD went on celebrating with his work friends but watched as the bartender poured out another two cosmopolitans and pointed his way. The two ladies turned and looked at JD. JD nodded. The girls raised their glasses saying cheers, looked at each other and turned back towards the bar. Just as JD thought, one look at his wheelchair, his lifeless body strapped in it, the straw that he had to use just to move was too much for the average woman to take in. JD was probably going to be single and celibate the rest of his life.

JD went back to focusing on the work crowd with a fake smile, he acted like he was enjoying the celebration but realized that buying a round of drinks and expecting something in return was stupid.

Out of nowhere, the two girls arrived at the table. The one in JD’s dream looked at JD and said “Thanks for the drinks, that was really nice of you.” JD was stunned and could barely blurt out the words “your welcome”. She introduced herself as Sadie and her friend Julie. JD responded with his name and introduced them to the group. Sadie asked what the occasion was and when someone in the group told her about JD’s recent promotion, she said congrats and asked where he worked. JD responded with Allegro Medical Supply. It turned out, Sadie worked in the same building up two floors. Sadie was a PR rep for a very successful law firm in the city. It certainly showed. She was dressed in a very professional suit, expensive heels. It fit perfectly on her well sculpted body with a full ass and perfectly sized breasts. JD found himself staring at her beauty. He made small talk with Sadie and Julie for the next hour. Neither of them asked why he was in a wheelchair.

JD noticed their drinks getting low and asked Mike to order up another round. Now came the awkward part. . . JD wanted another sip of his beer, but it meant Mike having to lift the glass up to his lips. This would surely be the awkward cue that the girls would leave. As he was talking with them he kept thinking about how things were going so well with this and now it would end as they watched a grown man reduced to a helpless child in order to enjoy an adult beverage. JD figured it was going to happen sooner or later so he asked Mike for a sip of beer. Before Mike could grab the glass, Sadie grabbed it and said, “ I can do it if you would like” JD was shocked. She didn’t mind and held up the glass to his lips. As he took a sip they locked eyes and she smiled.

JD was dumbfounded. In the ten years since his accident, no woman had ever spent this much time with him. He didn’t think it would happen. The sex counselor at the rehab center didn’t agree. She told JD while still in a neck brace and on a ventilator that he could have a very satisfying sex life. Right! JD thought. A sex life when you feel nothing, can control nothing and move nothing. Sure. JD didn’t even watch porn anymore, he found it just another reminder of a stupid decision that he made that changed his life forever. Now Sadie is chatting with him, and acting differently then just looking for a friend. She looked like she wanted something else.


Three beers in and JD was really beginning to loosen up. He didn’t want Sadie to leave but he also knew that three beers meant his leg bag was about to burst and that he and Mike needed go to the restroom to empty it. That would surely be the opportunity for Sadie to complete her volunteer duty of entertaining the disabled and resume her evening. Three beers was the most JD he consumed since his accident and his confidence was building. He decided to go for broke, he had nothing to lose at this point. He asked Sadie if she was interested in coming back to his condo, he only lived four blocks from bar. Sadie hesitated and looked over at her friend Julie. Julie, who was now hanging on Mike and nodded yes.

Sadie hesitated and then asked JD, “What did you have in mind?” JD didn’t have anything in mind. Although he would love nothing more than to make love to Sadie, he knew it would be too difficult, require a lot of planning and he had not been intimate with anyone since his accident.

The beers however had taken over the speech part of his brain. JD said to Sadie, “We can play it by ear, but I will tell you, what I lack in body movement I more than make up with my tongue.”

Sadie looked intrigued and agreed to come over.

JD gave her directions and told her to give him about a 20 min. head start. He and Mike headed out to the van, loaded up and headed to JD’s condo. On the short drive Mike mentioned that Julie was cute and she was horny. JD wasn’t sure what to do. He knew that Mike was single, and was looking to score. He suggested that Mike just toss him in bed and he would see where it would go with Sadie.

JD let the doorman know that two ladies were on their way to let them up when they arrived. JD expertly maneuvered his wheelchair using the sip and puff into his condo and headed for the bedroom with Mike close behind him.

This was going to be the quick into the bed routine. JD moved his wheelchair next to the bed. Mike shut it off and moved the straw away from JD’s mouth. He moved his lifeless arms into his lap, unstrapped his chest strap and held him steady. He picked up each leg and folded up the foot plate. After unstrapping his lap belt he turned to JD and bent down. JD placed his chin on Mike’s shoulder as Mike grabbed the belt loops of JD’s pants. JD pushed his chin into Mike’s shoulder for leverage as MIke lifted JD up, turned toward the bed and sat JD down. While holding him steady he unbuttoned JD’s shirt and pulled the sleeve off JD’s right arm, followed by his left arm. He then laid JD down, grabbed his legs and moved them on to the bed. Mike then unbuttoned his pants, removed his shoes and socks and pulled the pants off.

JD’s leg bag was indeed about to burst. Mike gently removed the bag from the suprapubic catheter tube and hooked the tube to the night bag. JD was now completely naked and securely in place. Mike adjusted JD limbs and put the comforter over his body up to his chin. He then asked JD if we wanted protection. JD nodded yes. Mike opened the drawer of the nightstand and pulled out a condom and a cock ring. The condom has been in there for so long it probably wasn’t good anymore. It didn’t matter, JD had not ejaculated in ten years, probably couldn’t even ejaculate. How do you test that? You can’t ask your nurse to rub your dick to see if it still worked. But what if? JD thought the condom would not get used but he had made it this far, why stop now.

Just as they finished up the doorbell rang.

Mike opened the door and let them in. Julie and Mike went off to Mike’s room and Sadie gently knocked and pushed open JD’s door and saw him there in the bed. Sadie looked both determined and unsure about what to do next at the same time.

JD told her to come in and close the door. JD could not believe he had made it this far and the alcohol inspired confidence was beginning to fade. He thought probably Sadie had come for her friend Julie and that they would spend the time just talking. JD sensed Sadie was interested in something more, but just didn’t know how to proceed so JD decided to go for broke.

JD said,”I am glad you decided to come over. I want to be open and honest with you Sadie. I think you look hot and I am very attracted to you by my brain and my body haven’t spoken much in the last ten years so when you pull this comforter back you are going to see a withered body that probably makes my head look really big! I am also very turned on by you right now and very much still think like a guy but my brain and my penis also no longer speak so if you want me in you, you are going to have to rub my penis to get it hard. There is a condom and cock ring to keep it hard on the nightstand’, as he tilted his head toward the table. “And lastly just above my groin is a tube that comes out of my belly and runs down to the side of the bed. That drains my bladder just be careful to not pull it out please.”

“Now with that out of the way, come closer, I really want to kiss you.”

JD felt this was the moment of truth. Either this was meant to be, or what he just said would be too much for Sadie to handle. He studied her face and waited.

Sadie smiled and sauntered over to the bed, leaned over and began to kiss him. JD went to work with the strongest muscle left in his body. . . his tongue. The las ten years of using his tongue for driving his chair and using mouth sticks had made it very strong and very precise. His tongue together with his lips made Sadie groan. She paused, pulled back and looked at JD surprised that someone with such limited mobility had this skill. JD realized what she was thinking and said, “Think of what I could do with other parts of you.” and grinned.

Sadie smiled back and began pull off her clothes in a striptease manner putting on a show for JD. She knew what JD meant about his tongue. Sadie, now naked, slowly pulled the comforter all the way off exposing all of JD’s body. He was right, she thought, his body is withered. JD’s shoulders were very boney like that of a young boy going through puberty, his chest was flat and his arms and legs showed years of atrophy. Sadie paused, wondering if it was ok to get top of JD, his body looking so fragile. JD nodded and said, ‘Hop on, you can’t hurt me’. Sadie now on top of JD began to wildly kiss him again. They were both getting very turned on. JD instructed Sadie to shove his hands under his butt so she could get closer to his mouth. Sadie complied and then thrust her pussy close to JD’s magical tongue. She grabbed the chains of the hoist above the bed and JD entered in and began to work his magic. Sadie was in ecstasy as JD found every pleasure spot inside of her. She screamed with immense pleasure. JD was focusing on breathing through his nose and the smell of her was energizing to him. JD had never much been an oral sex guy but he was getting real pleasure from the sounds Sadie was making and this made him want to go further into her. Sadie’s scream reached a peak and she orgasmed.

Sadie, out of breath pushed JD head back, and said. “I want you in me, I want you in me now!.” She grabbed the condom and the cock ring scooted back on the bed and began to rub JD’s dick. JD looked down with excitement as his dick began to grow in size, something he hadn’t seen in a long time. She placed the condom on it and slid the ring down to the base of his penis and jumped back on top of him putting his penis in her mouth sliding up and down. Sadie was in a wild mood and she didn’t want to lose the feeling. She slid his dick inside of her and began moving up and down motions like she was riding a horse. JD couldn’t feel any of it but he was getting off just watching the look on her face. He was basically a human dildo at this point, but he didn’t care. He was providing sexual pleasure to a woman, something he never felt he would be able to do, or even cared about doing before his injury.

Sadie, without asking, somehow figured out that JD’s neck and face probably had heightened sensitivity since the rest of his body had none and she began stroking JD’s jaw bones with her long manicured fingernails as she was moving up and down on him. To JD it felt amazing, almost like what it felt like to stroke his dick in his previous body. While Sadie thrusted up and down and scratched JD’s cheeks with her nails, they were both in ecstasy. JD began to feel a building up of pleasure. At first he was concerned about AD, but at this point, he would rather die of a stroke having sex with a beautiful woman then miss out on something he thought he lost forever. Sadie again reached orgasm and JD felt warm all over his neck and face as she collapsed on top of him. Both out of breath, Sadie rolled over next to him and they laid looking at the ceiling and their bodies began to return to normal.

Sadie grabbed the comforter and pulled it over them both and she nestled in close to JD and they just laid there enjoying each other’s presence. Not wanting to interrupt the mood, JD knew that the cock ring on his penis had been on there about 20 minutes and fearing damage he asked Sadie if she could remove it. She complied and it immediately went limp.

Sadie laid back down next to JD. Still basking in the warmth of the moment JD said, “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure” Sadie said.

“Why me?” JD asked. “Why did you want to have sex with me, given all my issues?”

Sadie thought about the question and was coming up with an answer.

“It’s a lot of reasons I think’, she said. “I think you are cute, and to be completely honest, it seems like the guy is always in charge with sex. He gets hard, he shoots his wad, and then he’s done. Its all over in two minutes. With you, I felt like I was in charge and it felt good and OH MY GOD, your tongue is. . . is. . . , I can’t describe how that felt. No man has every made me feel like that. I also like kinky sex and I have never done it with someone who is paralyzed.”

JD took that as a compliment. In his world where so much has to be done for him, it was nice he could do something for someone else.

Sadie said, “Look I think you are great guy, but I am not into a long term relationship, if that is why you are asking.”

JD responded, “No, I am not ready for that either, I was just curious. Women don’t usually look at me at all so I guess I was just surprised you wanted to come over after I ordered you drinks. Most people look at me and move on”

The two laid silent for another twenty minutes, until a gentle knock on the door. Julie poked her head in signaling to Sadie that it was time to leave and then closed the door. Sadie got up, got dressed, kissed JD once more and said, “ You are awesome, and keep that tongue in shape.”

After hearing the front door close and lock, Michael came in to stretch JD’s limbs, put on his splints and turn on his pressure relieving mattress.

“Well”, Michael asked. “How was it?”

“It was awesome” JD responded, “Better than I expected. How about you?”

“Ehh, she’s young and inexperienced but we had fun” Michael responded.

Michael checked the catheter and leg bag and asked JD if there was anything else he needed.

JD nodded no and drifted off to sleep.

JD found himself in his favorite restaurant. Fontina was nothing fancy but the food was always good and the service was excellent. His table faced the entrance when he saw her walk in. She too was beautiful, just like Sadie. Their eyes met and they both smiled. Michael noticed him looking at her as he held up a forkful of salad to JD’s mouth. Michael smiled as well.

Then, the familiar knock at the door, “Good Morning” It was Mike.

JD again came back to reality as Mike removed the splints and began the daily routine again.

“Any plans for today?” Mike asked.

“I was thinking about dinner at Fontina tonight.” said JD.