Onsight

Climbing spots aren't quiet. You'd think you need silence to concentrate when there's hundreds of feet of air below you, or maybe people would keep quiet out of respect for nature or others around. But no. Usually there's lots of yelling—requests for more rope or less rope, questions about route direction or comments on its quality, the general screams of support (best if offered as a choir), and then of course the frustrated cry from the climber and collective groan from spectators accompanying a fall. There's rarely silence at climbing spots.

Luckily, we were climbing one of the few multi-pitch routes around here, and I was far enough up by now that the cacophony from other climbers was almost drowned out by wind rustling through the trees below and the occasional clinking of quickdraws against stone above me.

Except a new sound had joined the surroundings for the past few minutes. A climber was advancing pretty quickly up the route to my right, and this one seemed prone to swearing while climbing. Very audibly, in her case. She was bad-mouthing everything that seemed to come to mind, including herself, the rock, and the poor person belaying her somewhere below us. It was almost a little cute, even though I’d have preferred silence for practical reasons.

Now she seemed to have nearly made it—the clanging of metal against stone, pressed breathing, and scraping of climbing shoes on the wall indicating she was drawing level with me.

"Damn, this is such a... Huh? Ugh, no... Shit!"

She sounded surprised and, if anything, even more pissed off than before.

"No way! Can you believe it!?"

From what I could tell, the woman was still a few feet down and to my right, but she had stopped climbing and was moodily muttering to herself now. Rope slipped through my right hand, the left pulling it out of the belay device methodically, while I couldn't help but turn an ear to the events happening nearby.

"Fuuck..."

Was she just at a part of the route she couldn't swear herself through, or was there a bigger problem?

"HEY!"

I flinched a little at her yelling and instinctively grabbed the rope tighter. Really now, where is the quiet and peacefulness of the mountains that was advertised all around?

"Hey, dude, I mean you! Come on!"

Who was she—? Oh. Of course.

"Yeah, you! Dude, you're blocking my bolt."

Her bolt? I frowned. "Excuse me?"

Indistinguishable muttered swearing from her. "Don't act like that. I need to fix my rope where yours is. Quickly now."

"Uh..." I was pretty sure she'd have to come from below me if she were leading on the same route as I was. "Are you in, uh... Save Planet, Kill Yourself?"

"What?!"

This naming custom is ridiculous, I swear. "The name of your route? Is it Save Planet, Kill Yourself?" I repeated.

"Wha— No, guess not?" She was moving without closing the distance between us. "I don’t remember exactly, but that wasn’t it. Uh... shit... That's bad."

I wasn't really familiar with any other route around here—they were all harder than the one I was currently climbing, as far as I remembered.

"Your bolt's probably more to your right," I said and waved my hand for good measure. The rope I was attached to had stopped tugging at my fingers in intervals, and I relaxed a bit, my left hand anchoring me against the cool wall. "You may find it if you climb up a bit more."

She must have come off her track while climbing, and all she could hope for now was that she wasn't too far from her original route. Getting lost happens, especially to people climbing routes they haven't done before. The depictions and descriptions in the guidebook can be quite vague and misleading, or so I've been told. That's how people get stranded somewhere between routes, without any idea about how to get farther up, or down.

"Yeah? Can't see a bolt. Where did you say it was?"

I shrugged because honestly, I was just blindly guessing here. Hah.

Metal was clanging again as she continued climbing, and I heard a small groan. "There's no bolt anywhere here. Are you sure it's supposed to be there? Can you see it?"

"Nope." Definitely couldn't, but that didn't mean it wasn't there. Unless her route actually had a runout near the top, which was a possibility. No need to tell her that, though.

"Fuck. I'm so screwed..."

The dread that crept into her voice made me sympathetic. She should have prepared better or at least had a strategy for what to do when she gets stuck—but maybe I had an idea how to help her.

"You can join me on this bolt, if you want. I won't be here much longer, anyway." The rope in my hand had been pulled up and come down a few times during our conversation and had stopped moving entirely now. This meant my climbing partner was almost ready to belay me now.

The woman exhaled audibly. "Yeah, okay, I... Wait a second."

I heard her moving, groaning and uttering small swears again as she came closer and closer. Then she stopped altogether. "Shit..."

"What's wrong?"

"I don't think I'll manage to climb to your bolt. See? There's only blank rock here. Nothing to hold on to."

Well, I had to take her word for it.

"Oh, oh... No..." She froze suddenly, no sound coming from her anymore.

"What happened?"

She had sounded positively mortified.

"Uh... I..." Her voice was small, in contrast to before. "I looked down and... Oh god this is high up and I'm waaaay past the last bolt. Oh fuck..."

The last bit sounded indeed not ideal. "Listen—"

I could hear her breathing accelerating. "Oh god, oh god..."

It sounded like she was straight on route to a meltdown. Not advisable in her position above the bolt. "Don't look down again," I said quickly, trying to keep my voice calm and comforting. "Look at me, okay?"

"Mmmh..."

She sounded so close. Maybe... "Can you... can you jump, perhaps? This is a pretty good ledge." Indeed, I was standing rather comfortably, not a situation one comes across frequently when climbing multi-pitch routes. I moved back a bit, as much as was possible while still connected to the bolt, making space for her, all the time holding on to the rope coming out of my belay device.

"I don't know but... I don't think so." Her shoes scraped over rock a little; it seemed she was sort of pacing back and forth, trying to find a position from where to jump and the courage to do so. It couldn't be much more than a hop, but I knew myself how that could seem endlessly far.

"Please.... I can't do it. Shit, I..." Her voice broke and she stopped a sob from escaping, maybe with her hand over her mouth.

My heart was starting to hammer against my rib cage as well, fueled by her fear. I quickly fixed the rope I was still holding, blocking it with a knot over the belay device. "Can you.... If I extend my arm like this, can you grab my hand?" I leaned over as much as I could, one hand holding on to the stone wall in front of me, the other extended in her approximate direction.

"Uh..." She moved slowly, carefully. "Yes, if you... further down..."

I lowered my arm until my fingers brushed hers. Her hand frantically scrambled for mine and closed around it, tightly. It was small and sweaty, her fingers trembling with the force she clutched mine.

"Now... on the count of—"

"No!" She ripped her fingers out of mine suddenly, breathing quickly again. "Don't pull me!"

There was only air where her hand had been before, and I could have hit myself. "I wasn't going to—" I started, but she wasn't listening anymore.

"No, no, no..." She was sobbing now, breathing flatly.

I pulled my hand back. "Listen..." I had another idea. "Do you have a carabiner?" I knew she'd have to, normally.

She stopped crying and inhaled wetly. "Mm," she affirmed.

"Can you hand it to me?" I stretched myself in her direction as before, hand turned up. She moved, sniffling, and after a while the cold and light weight of her carabiner settled in my palm. I clipped it into my own carabiner.

"Now your rope."

"My-? Oh... okay, okay." Something scraped against the wall, her breath louder now with the effort it took to pull the rope up from below her. "Here."

I offered my hand again and closed it around the loop of rope she placed into it.

"I'll take it toward me and fix it here, okay? Is it long enough? I don't want to pull you toward me by accident."

"No, yes, I mean..." she forced calmness into her voice. "Yes, should be alright. Do it." She seemed to hold her breath for a second because I could hear nothing from her anymore. It was as if she had disappeared.

Slowly, I pulled my hand back, and luckily met no resistance. I felt for the carabiner with my left, holding it steady and open, and clipped the rope into it with my right. Then I closed the screwing mechanism.

"Okay... now you can jump." She swallowed and her hair swished over the rock. "You see? You'll only fall a tiny bit now and swing a little. But it's much safer than before."

"I..."

"Want my hand?"

"Yes," she whispered.

We did as before, clutching hands firmly between us.

"Alright?"

"Yes..."

"On your own count now. Whenever you're ready. There are enough holds here, see?"

She pulled back only a little before she jumped, making it over the empty space between us easily, and crashing into me with some force. Reacting quickly, I steadied her around the waist, pulling us both up and toward the wall again.

"Ough."

"Are you okay?"

She nodded, her helmet screeching against mine. Her long hair that wasn't tied back at all brushed against my cheek, and I could smell her flowery perfume, a hint of sweat. Very close now. If she looked up she‘d— 

Sure enough, she sucked in her breath. "Your eyes..."

I felt my hands tighten around her waist. "Do you have a hold?"

"They are..." Her voice trailed off, then she blurted out: "Shit, are you—?"

"There's plenty here, and here..."

She finally stepped back, just a fraction, and I turned away from her. I never wear sunglasses when I'm climbing—it's usually just Julie and me up here, so there's no point. Besides, I always end up scraping them against the rock face. "Are you alright now?" The words came out sounding strange, like they didn’t belong to me.

"Yeah, Uh..., I think so. I'm uh… good? Are you… Do you need anything?"

I let go of her then, making another half step back until the rope tying me to the wall was pulled taut, awkwardly feeling with my toes for the edge behind me. She didn't just try to offer her help, did she? After her almost getting a panic attack mere feet from a bolt, she actually had the nerve to ask if I needed help?

Some of my annoyance must have shown on my face because she apologized immediately, stumbling over her words nervously. "I'm so sorry! I didn't see—"

Oh yes, the bad word. A sound like she'd clapped her hand over her mouth, and I almost broke out laughing. Almost.

Because I felt obliged to make sure she would come down safely after she had shown herself quite inept at getting up the wall, I asked: "Will you be okay from here?" God only knows where she learned climbing, probably in an indoor gym. They don‘t teach that there‘s more to climbing than a number associated with a row of holds of the same color. "You know how to do this, do you? Set yourself up and get down again?"

I assumed she nodded and I suppressed a sigh, waiting for the penny to drop. After a second of pointed silence between us she hastened to say: "Uh… yeah, yes, I do. I think."

Very reassuring.

Only then did I remember my rope that was still fixed and I ran a hand along it. It was stretched taut now. Oh thank god, I could go. "I'll leave you now," I mumbled and loosened the knot on my rope, at which point it was pulled immediately through my belaying device until nothing much was left. Suddenly I couldn't get away fast enough. The other climber didn't say anything but I could practically feel her gaze on me. "I'll take my gear and then this bolt is yours."

"Oh... Okay–"

If only she would stop sounding like she had just encountered extraterrestrial life. But anyway, I was almost ready to go. Everything except my carabiner into which hers was fixed was now removed from the bolt. The bolt wouldn't have enough space for more than one, though. "Hold on to the rock here for a second, I'll switch." Before she had the chance to realize what I was about to do, I removed my carabiner, clipped it into my harness, then removed hers and put it back into the bolt. "You're all set now," I said.

"Okay..." she breathed. "Yeah..."

I knew she was still staring at me, so I turned to the rock. "Get down safely," I said tightly.

"Huh? Oh, yes… Um… Thank you."

Well, at last.

My fingers immediately found a decent hold in front of me and I started climbing, my feet settling into the good spots that my fingers had felt before, dreamlike. I had been on this route already several times and knew it pretty well, though not by heart, not by far. It certainly wasn't enough for lead, but it made me a good-enough follower, I guess.

"How…?"

Her bewildered voice came from a few feet below me as I had already brought some space between us. Deciding I wasn't yet far away enough to ignore her on purpose, I suppressed a groan. "What?" Maybe she had realized she didn't actually remember how to belay down and in fact needed my help after all.

"Uh..." She was still staring, I realized, watching me climb up and away from her. "How do you do it?"

Jesus, really? We are discussing this now, here?

"Same as you," I barked. "Place each hand and foot higher than before, and eventually you'll reach the top." For most sighted people it would come as a shock that I could climb, though while merely following there really isn't much to it. But I guess for many people it's already a miracle I manage to butter my own bread.

Well, screw them.

She didn't answer anymore, maybe she had noticed how inappropriate her question had been. It didn't matter. The higher I got, the less I cared about her, getting into the flow of climbing. I knew the approximate direction and the larger characteristics of the route—slabs, cracks, and overhangs and such—so I wouldn't hit my head or bang my knees. I followed the rope and my fingers, feeling along the various shapes under them as I moved them away from my head until I found something good enough to brace myself. It was slow, but methodical.

Then I heard the woman's voice from below again, almost inaudible, as she swore to herself: "No one's going to believe me. Fuck me." It was carried up by the gentle breeze blowing along the wall; very clearly she hadn't expected me to hear it. I cringed as I understood her meaning but decided to ignore it.

Thankfully, not much later, the distinct rhythmic clanking of metal on stone greeted me from above, signaling the end of the pitch.

"Finally!" That was Julie's teasing voice from above, close now.

I grinned as I swung around a bigger boulder, setting one foot next to my left hand. Julie's colder fingers brushed mine and I followed them to a good hold at her side on the small ledge, pulling myself up into standing.

"What took you so long?!"

"It was nothing," I murmured, while she pulled the rest of the rope in between us. She had removed her helmet; it knocked against the stone near her hips.

"I thought I had to cut the rope, make sure at least one of us survives, you know?" Julie joked. I grinned.

It didn't matter then, that uncomfortable encounter with the woman halfway up the pitch. There would always be people like that. At least there were also people like my friend Julie, who treated me just like any other human being.

"You can get around here and up, then you'll be standing on the plateau. You remember?"

Picturing the wide plateau that was shortly above us, I nodded. “See you.” I flashed a grin in her direction and felt my way along the wall in front of me.

I reached said plateau within a few minutes, loosely belayed by Julie who would follow on her own once she'd unmounted all our gear. She didn't need me to belay her; the climb was easy enough for her and short. I laid down with my back on the sun-warmed rock, feet dangling over the edge into the depth I couldn't see but sense, with air rushing up around my calves and the cry of birds flying below me.

It didn't take long until I heard her advancing and then she threw the rope and some loose gear behind us and flopped down next to me. I reached for her, found her shoulder and pulled her gently toward me. "Thanks," I mumbled.

"Uh… you're welcome?" She giggled and gently clapped my chest. "Thank you, too, you'll be receiving a best follower award when we get down."

I laughed into Julie's shoulder and didn't offer an explanation for my weird behavior. She didn't require one. With her, things would always be easy. I tended to forget sometimes, how unusual this was, seemed to take it for granted. The woman from before came back into my mind and for a second I wondered if she and her climbing partner had made it back down safely already. I could have been more friendly to her, I guess, at least she'd made me realize this: I had the best climbing partner I could ever wish for.