Final Update to Not Gay

Hi everyone,

This is it!! Chapter 32 has arrived, concluding our steamy journey with Jay and Darren. It took me a while to write this final chapter because I'm just terrible at goodbyes! :)

I hope you've enjoyed reading this story as much as I've enjoyed writing it. It was such fun! I'll definitely miss these two characters and posting new chapters. I may return with a short story or another longer project in the future. Until then, I'm confident the story blog is in good hands with old and new authors. I just looove all the new stories that have popped up recently!!

Thank you all for reading and your comments, love you!

Have a great week! 

Lovis

TOC

New Story: The One Who Got Away

Hello lovely people

You asked for it, so here it is :D Kay and Seth's full story.

Just a few heads up I'd like to give:

• I started this story long ago and wrote it over the course of many years. This might reflect in some differences of style, tone and quality between chapters.
• We'll get both Kay's and Seth's perspective, but there are more chapters from Kay’s POV. It's just how I used to do it back then.
• I'm a sucker for drama, so this will be cheesy in some places. You have been warned!

Anyway, here's 

 The One Who Got Away, Chapter 1

Beverage Guy

Hi everyone, I'm Merigold. 

This is the first of my writings I'm posting here. It's actually an excerpt from the middle of The One Who Got Away, a multi-chapter story I will be posting as well. But this one here can also be read as a standalone – or as a teaser.

xoxo

Beverage Guy

Kay had specifically planned on not being nervous. 

Well, here she was: a nervous mess. Introducing a new boyfriend to family was nerve-wracking in itself, but adding a disability into the mix took it to a whole new level.

"Is that her?" Seth pointed his chin towards the other end of the plaza. Kay followed his gaze and nodded. Her older sister was approaching the café in her usual brisk stride, high heels clacking. She was in business woman mode.

The knot in Kay's stomach tightened, and she wrapped her hands around Seth's slim upper arm, momentarily burying her face in his shoulder with a groan.

A kiss brushed the top of her head. "It's gonna be fine."

She looked up, meeting those dark deep eyes that always managed to calm her down. Those eyes that never failed. And just like that, her nervousness dissipated, transforming into something else: A sense of We. This was her man. Whoever had a problem with her relationship could go fuck themselves. Stella included. She craned her neck and placed a kiss on Seth's lips. "I love you", she whispered, then turned around to see her sister now just a few strides away from their table and seeking her gaze. 

Kay stood up. "Hey you." Please don't fuck this up Sis. Please please please. 

Kay could only hope that her sister would keep in mind what they had talked about on the phone.

"Is there anything I should know about… you know, dealing with him?" Stella had asked, and Kay had told her the one and only thing there was to know: "He's a regular person, Stel. Please don't treat him any differently."

"Hi Sis," Stella now offered a quick hug, then her eyes darted from Kay to Seth. They didn't linger any longer on him than a second. "Hi", she nervously gripped the strap of her handbag. "I'm Stella." 

"Hey Stella. I'm Seth." As always with people who were being weird around him, he didn't bat an eye at her apparent discomfort. Instead, he gave her a genuine smile.

Stella stiffly shifted on her feet, and it was clear that she was feeling awkward about the impossibility of a handshake.  

"We haven't ordered yet", Kay said to fill the silence, shoving the menu card across the table.

"Never been here before", Stella gladly went along with the small talk as she sat down. "Cute place." She picked up the menu card, studying it with just a little too much interest, apparently relieved to have something to focus on. "Oh, they have a nice tea selection", she murmured approvingly. 

"The Genmaicha is really good", Seth remarked. "If you're into green tea."

Stella looked up distractedly. Or more like startled. As if the fact that he was taking part in the conversation surprised her. "I love that one", she responded with an uneasy smile, and Kay could see she was doing that thing many people did when talking to Seth: Keeping her gaze unnaturally fixated on his face, as if the rest of him was forbidden to look at.

Kay rolled her eyes to herself. This was something she herself had never done when she had first seen him post-injury. Quite the opposite actually, she hadn’t been able to stop staring. Granted, she and Seth hadn’t been strangers at that point. Far from it.

Fridays (m/m)

 The First Friday

The clock strikes 5 pm, and the sleek lobby of VegaTech begins to fill with people. Most of them stare a bit, as they walk by me on their way to a well-deserved weekend. I’m an easy target to stare at, from the huge electric wheelchair to my habit of decorating it with pride flags. One of the men walking by gives me that furtive, out-of-the-corner-of-his-eye-once-over-look that I can clock as a certain kind of interest from a mile away. He’s cute enough, and usually, I’m always up to a flirt with a devotee, but today I ignore him. My sister Vanessa is now officially an hour late. That might not be a big deal for some people, but for me it’s a deal the size of the Louisiana Purchase.

Next to me, Steve is pacing. He’s a good guy and a great caregiver, but after a 12 hour shift stretching into a 13th hour, he’s just as annoyed as I am. His wife and kids are waiting back home, but I absolutely must not be left alone ever, for fear something could go wrong with my vent, and Steve will stick by my side until Vanessa is here to take his place. Among many other duties she has, it’s her job to take me to my weekly therapy appointment. I already missed it last week, and I’m still pissed off about it.

Steve points towards the elevators.

“Isn’t that dude over there on Nessy’s team?”

He’s right. A guy in cargo shorts and a dark blue VegaTech polo shirt, one of Vanessa’s fellow engineers, fresh out of the elevator, spots me hanging out by the reception desk and jogs over.

“Sorry, Toby! Nessy is still upstairs, the new manager just gave us a new deadline.”

Oh, yes, same as last week. Three months ago, the kind older gentleman who understood my sister’s time constraints as one of my carers was replaced by a jerk straight from company headquarters. Ever since my usually dependable sister has become flaky. I understand her worries, and of course, her cushy position at VegaTech is what keeps us afloat, but I also need to be at my appointment, or I’ll risk losing the very little function I have left as a c1/c2 quad.

That’s it. VegaTech likes to brag about their track record with inclusivity. It’s time to see what that’s worth. Using the sip-and-puff control, I turn my power chair around and make my way over to the reception desk.

“Hi, Kristy. Can you tell Mr. Gerber that Toby Burnett is here to see him?”

Eroshenko preview Chapter 2

 Continuing with the preview of, Eroshenko, here is Chapter Two. Thanks everyone who ordered already. 

Barnes and Noble

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Bookshop.org

And here's another photo of Eroshenko in 1915, with Akita Ujaku, a playwright who was one of his closest friends. Akita's father was also blind from childhood, but worked as an obstetrician. Amazing!

Chapter 2

January, 1915

Ichiko spotted Eroshenko on the platform of Shinbashi station, standing by himself, towering above the rest of the crowd. He wore a heavy, fur-collared wool overcoat that reached to his knees, thick-soled black boots, and on his head a flat wool cap, his wild mass of blond curls escaping on either side. In his right hand, he loosely gripped a bamboo cane with a curved handle. 

She skipped across the platform, dodging other passengers, her wooden sandals clattering loudly on the wood. 

“Vasily-san! Sorry to keep you waiting.” She could not bring herself to use the nickname Ero-san. It was too ridiculous. She would not mangle his name to fit Japanese sensibilities, but refer to him properly. She prided herself on mixing easily with foreigners, not shunning them from embarrassment or prejudice, as she saw so many others do. 

He bowed to her in the proper Japanese manner. “Is it Kamichika-san?”

“Yes, thank you for agreeing to an interview. I think the readers of the Daily News will be eager to read your story.”

“My pleasure. Where shall we do the interview? At a milk hall? Or the Matsushita café? I go there often.”

“No, those places are so noisy. I was thinking…” She screwed up her courage, twisting the trailing hem of her kimono sleeve around one finger. “I know the weather’s still a bit chilly, but it’s such a lovely day. I thought we might go outside the city, to Enoshima. We can do the interview on the train ride there, then enjoy some touring around as a reward after.”

He put his head to the right slightly, his brows twitching into a frown. What was he thinking? Everything about him was so foreign, it was hard to tell. And she couldn’t even make eye contact. Had he understood her words?

Hooked On A Feeling

I grip the steering wheel so tightly that my knuckles are white against the black leather. Is that little clacking sound the car makes normal? Maybe it’s just me, hyper-aware of everything right now. 

Because of Brandon. 

He sits beside me in the passenger seat, calm as ever, his right leg stretched out comfortably. The left one is a prosthetic, not that anybody could tell underneath his jeans. His hooks, much more obvious than his missing leg, glint in the corner of my eye, one idly tapping against the other in a steady rhythm to the radio. 

“It’s accessible,” I say again, glancing at him quickly before returning my eyes to the road. “I checked, like, three times. I called them, went through their website, even cross-referenced reviews. They’ve got ramps, an elevator, even grab bars in the shower.”

Brandon leans his head back against the seat, a faint smile tugging at his lips. He’s so handsome. My stomach churns. 

“You know, Jen, you don’t have to go through all this trouble. I’ve stayed in places that weren’t exactly...perfectly accessible, and I managed just fine.”

“That’s not the point,” I say, trying to keep my tone light but feeling the heat rise in my chest. “It’s supposed to be perfect. This is your first trip with me. Our first trip. I don’t want you worrying about managing.  I want you to participate in everything the spa has to offer.”

He chuckles softly. It’s so easy for him. That’s part of what I love about Brandon—he’s grounded in a way I don’t quite know how to be. He shifts slightly, his myoelectric left leg whirring faintly as the sensors adjust. He doesn’t seem to notice the sound anymore, but I always do. It reminds me of all the things I have to remember—things I don’t want to mess up.

“Relax,” he says, his voice warm but firm. “This trip isn’t about proving anything. I’m already with you, remember?”

I swallow hard, my fingers easing their death grip on the wheel. “I know. I just want it to be special.”

“It already is,” he says, his voice softer now. “You’re driving. I’m relaxing. And you’ve put way more thought into this than anyone else ever has.”

My cheeks flush, and I let myself glance at him again. He’s looking at me now, his hazel eyes full of unshakable calm. The hooks resting on his thighs gleam faintly in the sunlight. I know he’s not self-conscious about them, and he’s told me I don’t need to tiptoe around them either. Still, I can’t help myself. The sight of them makes my stomach tighten, a flash of heat that I force down with every ounce of willpower I have.

I can’t let it show. Not now. Not ever.

Eroshenko preview

My latest novel, Eroshenko, is now published! I'm so excited to share this amazing true story with all of you. 

As promised, you have lots of choices if you don't want to give money to Amazon. Purchase the ebook or paperback from: 

Barnes and Noble

Kobo

Google Play

Bookshop.org

Bookshop.org is now also offering ebooks, not just paperbacks. It's a great way to support local bookstores.

Or bypass all these corporations and order a paperback directly from me HERE, for a $3 discount.

If you don't want to buy a copy, you can request your local library to order a paperback or ebook. Or if you have a Librarything or Netgalley account, you can request a review copy, but only until the end of this month.

No matter where you read, please leave a review, especially on Goodreads. It helps a lot! Thanks so much for your support. I really appreciate it!

And now a preview for your enjoyment...

This is a photo of Eroshenko performing in a concert with other students from the Tokyo School for the Blind, probably in 1915. 

Click through to read Chapter One