Terms & Specific Conditions - Update

 

Chapter 33

Penelope receives a drunk invitation from the wilderness.

The terrain is reviewed.

Rugged spontaneity theater is declined.

Abby handles perimeter security.

Entry protocol is established.

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Terms & Specific Conditions - Update

Chapter 32

Dinner requires a digestive quest.

Penelope prepares for the collapse of society.

Jack contributes shelving.
A question is asked at an inappropriate horizontal hour.

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Terms & Specific Conditions - Update

 

Chapter 31

Penelope arrives dressed for dinner with no apparent regard for neutrality.

Jack experiences several internal staffing failures.

Maggie serves dinner under increasingly compromised circumstances.

Potatoes are endangered.

A grip is requested.

A grip is not produced.

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Terms & Specific Conditions Update

 

Chapter 30

Final part of the small moral emergency trilogy.

The system fails.

Penelope attempts to be less weird.

Jack makes several logistical corrections.

Nobody is rescued.

Something does come back.

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Terms & Specific Conditions Update

 

Chapter 29

This one is about what happens when you notice something ugly in yourself and then attempt to correct it using the worst possible internal management system.

Penelope does learn a lesson.

Unfortunately, she immediately makes the lesson weird.

Everyone is trying. Everyone is tired. Nothing technically happens, which is one of the more violent forms of happening.

A system is developed.

The system is deranged.

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Terms and Specific Conditions Update

Chapter 28

This one is about a coffee lid, unfortunately.

It is also about the tiny laundering machine in my brain that occasionally takes something morally sticky, runs it through a gentle cycle, and hands it back labeled Respectful Behavior.

Which is inconvenient, because sometimes it is respectful behavior.

And sometimes there is a second thing behind it with its little awful hands on the wheel.

I don’t think shame fixes much. I do think naming the thing can. Or at least it gives you half a second more than you had before – which, apparently, is sometimes the whole moral structure.

Anyway. Coffee lid. A completely normal beverage accessory. Naturally it ruined my life.

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Terms & Specific Conditions Update

 
Chapter 27 

An accommodation arrives.
Penelope attempts a small act of domestic gaslighting.
Jack does not participate in this lie.

Everyone is normal about the bathroom.

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Terms & Specific Conditions - Update

 

Chapter 26

A demonstration is requested.

Penelope offers a lukewarm review.

Corrective measures are taken.

Someone says something emotionally devastating on the rug.

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Final Update to Long Term

Hi everyone,

There it is, Chapter 10, concluding this little story. I hope you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for reading, for your lovely comments, and for your support. Take care!

If you have any questions, need someone to talk to, or would like to post your story on the story blog, feel free to contact me at lovis.johnson123@gmail.com.

All the best,

Lovis  

TOC

Terms and Specific Conditions

Hi everyone!

Tiny housekeeping note: I’m going to take a short pause from posting.

The story isn’t going anywhere. Jack and Penelope remain, tragically, Jack and Penelope.

Thank you so much to everyone reading, commenting, messaging, lurking fondly, and generally being very kind about this whole thing. It means a lot. An annoying amount, actually.

Back soon-ish.

No Update to Long Term Today

I didn't get around to editing the last chapter of Long Term. My apologies!

To make it up to my lovely (and very patient) readers, I have a little treat for you: my ebook Lobster, with a straw is discounted for the next few days. If you’ve read it and enjoyed it, I’d be eternally grateful if you left a review on Goodreads!! Thank you so much!

I was inspired by an Instagram post, so this is a little shoutout to everyone reading wherever you happen to be, and to Rowan, the wonderful artist behind this illustration 💚

 

See you next week!

Lovis 

Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

Chapter 25

Penelope behaves like a public nuisance, Jack behaves like a narc, and his family is, unfortunately, delighted.

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Update to Long Term

Dear readers,

I hope you have as much fun reading Chapter 9 as I had writing it!

Best,

Lovis

TOC 

 

Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

 

Some people are too vivid for the polite version. I just needed to get the real shape of him onto the page — and, ideally, into every available cavity — before memory started behaving.

Also, thank you for all the comments and DMs. Truly. It’s meant more than I can say without becoming insufferable.

Night Drives

Update to Long Term

Hi everyone, 

thanks for your patience! I hope you're all ready for more Rachel and Adam in Chapter 8! 😊 

We're getting closer to the end with this one… I still have to edit the hell out of this story’s ending, but I think there will be two more chapters at this point.

Take care,
Lovis

TOC 

Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

 

Chapter 24

A routine makeout-adjacent moment is derailed by furniture, physics, and Penelope being forced into some very ugly self-knowledge.

Dignity takes a light beating.

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Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

 

Chapter 23 

A man makes an extremely poor choice in a taco line.

Jack handles it.

Penelope, unfortunately, has a full event about it.

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Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

Chapter 22

Penelope’s family attempts a normal evening.

This condition is not maintained.

Standards collapse almost immediately.

Jack is made complicit.

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Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

Chapter 21

A title is bestowed.

Jack becomes insufferably aristocratic.

Penelope learns too late that this was tailored to her weaknesses.

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Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

 

Chapter 20

Penelope is given a partial data set and reacts like a woman with absolutely no history of self-soothing.

A misunderstanding occurs.

There is spiraling.

There is flooring.

Things get very specific, very quickly.

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Update to Long Term

This is Chapter 7 of Long Term! Emergencies and emotions...

I’ll be on vacation next week, and probably the week after as well. I’ll update as soon as I’m back.

Cheers,

Lovis 

TOC 

Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

 

Chapter 19 - 

One hardware store, one deeply inconvenient amount of chemistry, and a truly irresponsible level of enthusiasm for household maintenance.

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Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

 

Thank you so much for all the kind messages this week. It’s been a very strange, upside-down little stretch of time, and I’ve appreciated them more than I can properly say without becoming alarmingly sincere on the internet.

Anyway, in the grand tradition of emotional whiplash, we are now returning to our regularly scheduled nonsense: Chapter 18 - in which these two absolute idiots discover the worst-named sex game of all time and are, unfortunately, very pleased with themselves about it. 

✨Marco Polio✨

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Update to Long Term

Hi! I guess you all know what Chapter 6 has in store... 🔥 Enjoy and thanks for your support! Every comment makes me grin like an idiot for hours.

Until next week, 

Lovis

TOC 

P.S. I’ll be at the book fair in Leipzig this weekend. If any of you are around and would like to meet up for coffee on Friday or Saturday, feel free to reach out via lovis.johnson123@gmail.com

Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

No post Saturday because real life came in with a tire iron.

My brother died unexpectedly this week, and everything since has been sad, strange, and administratively cursed.

He was also the funniest person I’ve ever met in my life, so instead of being dignified about it, I’m posting two things today:

Chapter 17 — the usual chaos.

Joseph — a small flag planted in the lore.

He would have hated that sentence, which is how I know I’m doing the right thing.

Update to Long Term

Hey everyone,

this is Chapter 5! Probably one of my favorites in this story. It's the 101 on transferring a quad (aka Adam, so don't try this at home with a random quad you pick up on the streets... just saying. Try to get level surfaces, in any case). And there are feelings... very briefly. Because why deal with feelings if you could just deal with each other instead, right?

Have fun! 

Lovis

TOC 

Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

 

Chapter 16

Jack performs routine wheelchair maintenance.

Penelope discovers that basic physics is apparently a personal attack.

Data is collected.

Honesty happens.

Things escalate.

No one behaves responsibly. 

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Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

Chapter 15

Jack and Penelope go to IKEA. Fictional backstories are invented, productivity hacks get weird, and a stranger attempts spiritual intervention over Swedish meatballs.

Penelope says something she regrets the second it leaves her mouth. Jack is unreasonably delighted. A wardrobe is involved.

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Update to Long Term

Our story continues with Chapter 4: obstacle course with onlookers. Have fun!

There's now a table of contents: TOC 

Lovis

Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

 

Chapter 14: Part II - the mushrooms go from “lol feelings” to rearranging furniture.

Feelings happen. Bodies happen. Gravity happens. Jack stops doing his polite-angle thing with his legs and Penelope's nervous system writes a thesis about it without asking permission. Jack quietly clocks a very specific setting in Penelope’s brain.

More emotional flashing in the street. No eye contact please. 

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