Terms & Specific Conditions Update

 

Chapter 30

Final part of the small moral emergency trilogy.

The system fails.

Penelope attempts to be less weird.

Jack makes several logistical corrections.

Nobody is rescued.

Something does come back.

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Terms & Specific Conditions Update

 

Chapter 29

This one is about what happens when you notice something ugly in yourself and then attempt to correct it using the worst possible internal management system.

Penelope does learn a lesson.

Unfortunately, she immediately makes the lesson weird.

Everyone is trying. Everyone is tired. Nothing technically happens, which is one of the more violent forms of happening.

A system is developed.

The system is deranged.

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Terms and Specific Conditions Update

Chapter 28

This one is about a coffee lid, unfortunately.

It is also about the tiny laundering machine in my brain that occasionally takes something morally sticky, runs it through a gentle cycle, and hands it back labeled Respectful Behavior.

Which is inconvenient, because sometimes it is respectful behavior.

And sometimes there is a second thing behind it with its little awful hands on the wheel.

I don’t think shame fixes much. I do think naming the thing can. Or at least it gives you half a second more than you had before – which, apparently, is sometimes the whole moral structure.

Anyway. Coffee lid. A completely normal beverage accessory. Naturally it ruined my life.

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Terms & Specific Conditions Update

 
Chapter 27 

An accommodation arrives.
Penelope attempts a small act of domestic gaslighting.
Jack does not participate in this lie.

Everyone is normal about the bathroom.

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Terms & Specific Conditions - Update

 

Chapter 26

A demonstration is requested.

Penelope offers a lukewarm review.

Corrective measures are taken.

Someone says something emotionally devastating on the rug.

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Final Update to Long Term

Hi everyone,

There it is, Chapter 10, concluding this little story. I hope you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for reading, for your lovely comments, and for your support. Take care!

If you have any questions, need someone to talk to, or would like to post your story on the story blog, feel free to contact me at lovis.johnson123@gmail.com.

All the best,

Lovis  

TOC

Terms and Specific Conditions

Hi everyone!

Tiny housekeeping note: I’m going to take a short pause from posting.

The story isn’t going anywhere. Jack and Penelope remain, tragically, Jack and Penelope.

Thank you so much to everyone reading, commenting, messaging, lurking fondly, and generally being very kind about this whole thing. It means a lot. An annoying amount, actually.

Back soon-ish.

No Update to Long Term Today

I didn't get around to editing the last chapter of Long Term. My apologies!

To make it up to my lovely (and very patient) readers, I have a little treat for you: my ebook Lobster, with a straw is discounted for the next few days. If you’ve read it and enjoyed it, I’d be eternally grateful if you left a review on Goodreads!! Thank you so much!

I was inspired by an Instagram post, so this is a little shoutout to everyone reading wherever you happen to be, and to Rowan, the wonderful artist behind this illustration 💚

 

See you next week!

Lovis 

Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

Chapter 25

Penelope behaves like a public nuisance, Jack behaves like a narc, and his family is, unfortunately, delighted.

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Update to Long Term

Dear readers,

I hope you have as much fun reading Chapter 9 as I had writing it!

Best,

Lovis

TOC 

 

Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

 

Some people are too vivid for the polite version. I just needed to get the real shape of him onto the page — and, ideally, into every available cavity — before memory started behaving.

Also, thank you for all the comments and DMs. Truly. It’s meant more than I can say without becoming insufferable.

Night Drives

Update to Long Term

Hi everyone, 

thanks for your patience! I hope you're all ready for more Rachel and Adam in Chapter 8! 😊 

We're getting closer to the end with this one… I still have to edit the hell out of this story’s ending, but I think there will be two more chapters at this point.

Take care,
Lovis

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Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

 

Chapter 24

A routine makeout-adjacent moment is derailed by furniture, physics, and Penelope being forced into some very ugly self-knowledge.

Dignity takes a light beating.

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Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

 

Chapter 23 

A man makes an extremely poor choice in a taco line.

Jack handles it.

Penelope, unfortunately, has a full event about it.

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Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

Chapter 22

Penelope’s family attempts a normal evening.

This condition is not maintained.

Standards collapse almost immediately.

Jack is made complicit.

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Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

Chapter 21

A title is bestowed.

Jack becomes insufferably aristocratic.

Penelope learns too late that this was tailored to her weaknesses.

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Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

 

Chapter 20

Penelope is given a partial data set and reacts like a woman with absolutely no history of self-soothing.

A misunderstanding occurs.

There is spiraling.

There is flooring.

Things get very specific, very quickly.

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Update to Long Term

This is Chapter 7 of Long Term! Emergencies and emotions...

I’ll be on vacation next week, and probably the week after as well. I’ll update as soon as I’m back.

Cheers,

Lovis 

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Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

 

Chapter 19 - One hardware store, one deeply inconvenient amount of chemistry, and a truly irresponsible level of enthusiasm for household maintenance.

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Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

 

Thank you so much for all the kind messages this week. It’s been a very strange, upside-down little stretch of time, and I’ve appreciated them more than I can properly say without becoming alarmingly sincere on the internet.

Anyway, in the grand tradition of emotional whiplash, we are now returning to our regularly scheduled nonsense: Chapter 18 - in which these two absolute idiots discover the worst-named sex game of all time and are, unfortunately, very pleased with themselves about it. 

✨Marco Polio✨

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Update to Long Term

Hi! I guess you all know what Chapter 6 has in store... 🔥 Enjoy and thanks for your support! Every comment makes me grin like an idiot for hours.

Until next week, 

Lovis

TOC 

P.S. I’ll be at the book fair in Leipzig this weekend. If any of you are around and would like to meet up for coffee on Friday or Saturday, feel free to reach out via lovis.johnson123@gmail.com

Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

No post Saturday because real life came in with a tire iron.

My brother died unexpectedly this week, and everything since has been sad, strange, and administratively cursed.

He was also the funniest person I’ve ever met in my life, so instead of being dignified about it, I’m posting two things today:

Chapter 17 — the usual chaos.

Joseph — a small flag planted in the lore.

He would have hated that sentence, which is how I know I’m doing the right thing.

Update to Long Term

Hey everyone,

this is Chapter 5! Probably one of my favorites in this story. It's the 101 on transferring a quad (aka Adam, so don't try this at home with a random quad you pick up on the streets... just saying. Try to get level surfaces, in any case). And there are feelings... very briefly. Because why deal with feelings if you could just deal with each other instead, right?

Have fun! 

Lovis

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Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

 

Chapter 16

Jack performs routine wheelchair maintenance.

Penelope discovers that basic physics is apparently a personal attack.

Data is collected.

Honesty happens.

Things escalate.

No one behaves responsibly. 

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Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

Chapter 15

Jack and Penelope go to IKEA. Fictional backstories are invented, productivity hacks get weird, and a stranger attempts spiritual intervention over Swedish meatballs.

Penelope says something she regrets the second it leaves her mouth. Jack is unreasonably delighted. A wardrobe is involved.

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Update to Long Term

Our story continues with Chapter 4: obstacle course with onlookers. Have fun!

There's now a table of contents: TOC 

Lovis

Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

 

Chapter 14: Part II - the mushrooms go from “lol feelings” to rearranging furniture.

Feelings happen. Bodies happen. Gravity happens. Jack stops doing his polite-angle thing with his legs and Penelope's nervous system writes a thesis about it without asking permission. Jack quietly clocks a very specific setting in Penelope’s brain.

More emotional flashing in the street. No eye contact please. 

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Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

Hey Everyone!

Chapter 14 Part I: mushrooms are taken, Jack’s risk assessment disappears, feelings get said out loud. 

Part II (next week): Jack discovers he’s a very specific setting.

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Update to Long Term

Hi everyone!

This is Chapter 3, road trip with a quad. And pizza. Enjoy!

Lovis 

Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

Hi everyone!  

Dropping Chapter 13 

Featuring: one plate of fries, a man named Cam who should not be allowed in public unsupervised, and Jack weaponizing charm in self-defense. 

There is also a couch, a bowl of popcorn, and a rapid-fire game that gets way too honest for something invented out of boredom. Everyone’s fine, feelings were just… lightly rearranged.🥂

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Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

Hello and welcome to Chapter 12

Joint Idiot Custody: HR “supports” them (with a light scolding), the office reacts like they’ve soft-launched a Super Bowl ad, and Jack and Penelope accidentally end up sharing joint custody of everyone’s bad takes.

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Update to Long Term

Hello everyone,

Thanks for your comments last week! The story picks up momentum in Chapter 2. Say hi to Adam!

Cheers,

Lovis 

Project Rodzina - Final

Here's the final part of Ilian Jansen's book. I hope you enjoy the ending.

I know the book was very long, but I couldn't summarize it.

If you liked it, please leave a review on Amazon 

(https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0G6VH1MP6)

Thank you very much.

Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

Hi everyone!

Here's Chapter 11 

We're in the post-glow debrief, several failed attempts at being functioning adults, one dive bar, Baby Ken, a cursed photo strip, and Penelope taking an offensively long time to clock the obvious. Everyone is (mostly) clothed, no one is chill, and frankly that’s our culture.

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Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

Hi! So. The last chapter was morning-after, bad coffee, and two allegedly professional coworkers trying very hard to act normal at the office.

Chapter 10 picks up the same day, approximately five minutes after that resolve dies.

Heads up: there is no plot in this chapter. It’s just catastrophic horniness for 6k words. 

Enjoy. ✨

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New Story: Long Term

Hello everyone,

I'm back with a new story! It’s not one of the three options you voted on recently—I’m still working on that one, and it’s going to take a little (a lot) more time. 

In the meantime...

This is a little multi-chapter story, fully ready to share with you lovely people. Please enjoy Long Term - Chapter 1! The weird things that can happen when you book accessible hotel rooms under your own name...

I'd love to hear what you think!

Lovis

Project Rodzina - Part 11

Here are a few more chapters in the Ilian Jansen saga; we're almost at the end of the first book.

I hope you enjoy it.

Thank you so much for the feedback.

Terms and Specific Conditions - Update

So. The last chapter was… a lot of feelings and zero chill on a bed.

Chapter 9 is the hangover: morning after, bad coffee, and two people who have definitely had sex trying very hard to pretend they’re just “coworkers who respect boundaries.”

No new acrobatics in this chapter, just the wobble of having to look at your boss and remember what his bare legs look like across the sheets. 🫠

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