Third Wheel - Chapter 1

The first time he heard the noise coming from the other side of the wall, Ethan thought his roommate must have had a terrible accident. He lay frozen in bed for a split second, heart hammering as he listened in shock, before throwing the heavy comforter aside. The cold stung as the warmth of his bed vanished, but he pushed himself upright and hurried into the hallway. No doubt Jared needed his help.

The absolute darkness outside his room hit him hard. Blinking rapidly, Ethan reached out with his left hand for the rough wall to guide him. Without his brace, his gait was more of a hobble, and he leaned into the wall every other step, trusting it to keep him upright if his bare feet slipped on the smooth floor. Jared’s pained groans only grew louder as Ethan approached the neighboring room, his heart squeezing tight with worry. His left hand was already hovering over the door handle—trembling almost as much as his right—when a second, deeper voice joined Jared’s, moaning in a way that was anything but ambiguous.

Ethan froze, heart thudding in his throat as the truth hit him.

No accident. And Jared wasn’t in pain—not the unwelcome kind, anyway.

How stupid to assume something had happened to Jared in the middle of the night when something far more likely was happening. Heat flooded Ethan’s face. He pushed off the door and turned around, desperate to get back to his room as quietly and quickly as possible. They could not find him out here listening like some creep. What would they think?

The cold had seeped into his muscles and bones by now, making him even stiffer than before. With his right side pressed to the wall, he staggered and stumbled several times, his weak hand skimming the chilled surface, failing to give him the stability he needed. Meanwhile, the muffled sounds from Jared’s room only grew louder, more uninhibited. Ethan could probably collapse right outside the door and no one inside would even notice.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Why had he panicked? Jared was clearly more than fine—very fine, judging by the sounds. Unlike Ethan, he seemed to be enjoying the night to the fullest.

As Ethan hobbled through the dark hallway, burning jealousy gnawed at him. Jared wasn’t even his usual type—smaller, wiry build, short spiky blond hair, and a bubbly, nearly manic energy. A squirrel on speed. Ethan usually preferred big, silent guys. But Jared… Jared lit up something inside him. The little guy had wormed his way into Ethan’s heart the moment he moved in months ago, and nothing Ethan tried managed to get him out.

Back at his open bedroom door, Ethan leaned against the frame for a moment, chest heaving. His scraped forearm and the outer edge of his right hand throbbed from where he’d rubbed them against the rough wall.

Maybe it had been too long since anyone had drawn those sounds from him—that was why he found himself wishing he could slip into Jared’s room instead. Yes, probably he was just sexually starved. Or maybe Jared was simply funny, partly crazy, and genuinely likable—someone Ethan loved being around and wanted more of.

Probably all of the above.

Slowly and carefully, he slipped back into his room and shut the door, though it only muffled the noises a little. His mattress creaked as he dropped onto it and maneuvered his right leg up. He yanked the comforter over himself and leaned back on his left elbow. It was nearly 2 a.m.—the cruel little digits of his alarm clock confirmed it. He had to sleep, but with Jared and his partner going at it with enthusiastic abandon, rest seemed impossible. Ethan lay back and draped his forearm over his eyes, trying to think about literally anything else.

At least Jared seemed to be enjoying himself. The panting, the creaking bed frame—everything climbed steadily in intensity. At one point, Jared’s moans turned into a rapid string of breathy little whines, and Ethan pressed his forearm harder to his eyes, biting his lip until he tasted blood as images surged up unwillingly. A deeper voice murmured something encouraging, and moments later Jared cried out with a desperate, shuddering climax, followed closely by a drawn-out grunt from the other guy.

A bit dizzy, Ethan listened to the tired but deeply satisfied voices drifting through the wall. The bed creaked softly a few more times, and a vivid image formed in Ethan’s mind—Jared curled up in the arms of his lover, being murmured warm words of praise. Both of them sweaty, breathless, smiling contentedly, drifting into sleep while wrapped around each other.

Being lonely had never hurt this much.

Moonlight slipped in through the slits of the blinds Ethan never bothered to close fully, casting ghostly shadows across the walls. He pulled the covers tighter around himself and stared into the dim room, the silence pressing heavily on his chest. His right arm and leg still tingled from the cold hallway, the scraped skin burned, and the muscles ached from the sudden exertion.

What was Jared’s boyfriend like? Ethan had never met him—he hadn’t even realized Jared had one. Maybe he didn’t, and this was just a one-night stand. Jared definitely seemed like the spontaneous type.

Ethan would give anything to be touched like he imagined Jared had been touched. He longed to understand the words whispered on the other side of the wall—to hear them murmured to him as he drifted into sleep, held in strong arms. For weeks now, he’d secretly wished to be as close to Jared as Jared’s lover was. But all he had were the voices through the wall and the desperate attempt to keep jealousy from swallowing him whole.

Why did he always fall for people he couldn’t have? He always did this—pining after guys who weren’t interested or couldn’t be. One look in the mirror should have been enough for anyone half intelligent to realize Ethan needed to lower his expectations to rock bottom. Or below it. He wasn’t attractive and never would be. And even if he wanted to stop longing for the unattainable, wanting didn’t make it possible.

He shifted under the covers, searching for a better position, and clenched his jaw when the muscles in his right leg tightened and trembled at the movement. Relax, he told himself, sinking back into the pillow and shutting his eyes against the moonlight.

What did Jared’s partner look like? Part of Ethan desperately wanted to know what kind of guy could make Jared that ecstatic. The other part prayed he would never meet him, imagining him as absurdly gorgeous. Ethan wouldn’t stand a chance. He rarely did.

With a quiet sigh, he closed his eyes and tried to ignore the half-hardness between his legs, begging sleep to come.

***

The door to Ethan’s room flew open with a bang.

“Ethan-boy! A new day’s dawning and there’s—well, uh—kind of a mix of rain and snow outside, but never mind because behind those clouds is the sun! I mean, I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to be somewhere there… By the way, don’t you have class?”

Ethan groaned something unintelligible, rolled halfway onto his right side, and pulled the comforter over his head. Jared was disgustingly cheerful in the morning. Actually, he was a menace all day long, even coming home from night shift. Today, apparently, was a day-shift day.

Jared’s voice drifted from farther down the hall—probably near the bathroom. “It’s almost seven and I’m leaving, buddy, so get your nicely shaped ass out of bed or you’ll be late.”

Almost seven? Ethan pushed himself into a half-sit, squinting at his alarm clock. Yep. He’d snoozed it for an hour. Damn.

Footsteps approached again and stopped at his open door. “I’m gonna be late tonight. Just a heads-up—we’re out of milk, in case you were planning to buy groceries. And if you weren’t, totally fine.”

Out of milk already? Hadn’t he gone shopping just yesterday?

“Why is there no milk, Jared?” Ethan called hoarsely.

But Jared was already walking away. “And if you are going, could you grab those green marzipan rolls from the Dutch bakery? But not the ones with rum—I hate those! I’ll pay you back!”

As if. Ethan already knew he’d buy the groceries and the rolls, and Jared knew it too.

“Oh, and I promised Mrs. Harris I’d feed her cat this weekend, so—”

Ethan saw him hop past the doorframe, one boot on, one bare foot, jacket half on, blond hair already sticking up.

Clearing his throat, Ethan called louder, “Jared!”

“Since you know I’m not exactly a cat person—I mean, I like cats, but dogs are better—and since I’m also the least reliable human being alive, I thought maybe you could remember to feed the beast. Or… maybe even do it. Because I think you’d enjoy it, not because I don’t want to. But if you don’t want to, I can totally—”

“Hearing aids,” Ethan cut in, signing the word with his left hand as he spoke.

“Ah.” Jared flashed a thumbs-up and vanished again.

Ethan dropped back onto the bed, ready to close his eyes—

“Also I made pancakes, so if you’re quick they might still be warm!”

Pancakes. That explained the missing milk.

“I love you,” Ethan murmured to the empty room. Jared was annoying as hell in the mornings—but he was also an incredible cook.

After listening to Jared clatter around, Ethan finally braced himself and swung his right leg out of bed. The cold floor bit into his feet. His leg trembled almost instantly, muscles stiff from the early morning chill. A faint twinge shot through his ankle, and his toes cramped.

“I heard that!” Jared chirped, appearing in the doorway again, fiddling with his right hearing aid. The left one was already in place, cobalt blue glinting behind his ear.

Ethan froze, then Jared winked and disappeared again.

Sighing, Ethan pushed himself upright. His right foot turned inward, and when he tried to straighten his right knee, it barely moved—nothing unusual.

Jared’s voice called from the entrance, “See you tonight! Or maybe not—I said I’d be late, didn’t I? Anyway, don’t wait up. Have a good day!”

“Jared, wait!” Ethan hobbled toward his door, his right arm tightening painfully. Damn. He needed to stretch. And where had he left his brace?

He leaned against the wall in the hallway and waved to get Jared’s attention. Jared stood by the door, adjusting the strap of his bag over his jacket, beanie pulled low, red mittens bright against the gray morning.

“How was it yesterday?” Ethan asked, smirking despite the heat creeping into his cheeks. He could not let last night go unmentioned.

Jared frowned slightly—his tell when he hadn’t caught something. “Pardon?”

“Yesterday. Your date.”

“Oh! You mean Tyler!” Jared laughed.

Ethan rubbed his elbow, tucking his sleeve down. “Tyler, huh?”

Jared flushed, freckles popping. “Yeah…”

“Anything serious?” Ethan managed to make it sound casual. He hoped.

“Uh-huh. He’s… my boyfriend, sort of.” Jared smiled almost apologetically.

“Yes?” The hallway dimmed a little around Ethan. Exactly what he’d feared. Of course.

Jared shrugged and zipped his jacket. “We’ve been on and off for years. More off. He travels a lot, but he’s in town for at least a year now. Can you believe it?”

Oh yes. Unfortunately he could. A year. Ethan could kick himself for never making a move. Pathetic coward. He’d spent so many hours pining after Jared—his cute smile, his narrow hips—imagining possibilities. If he’d dared to try, maybe he would have been on the other side of that wall last night. But no…

Ethan forced a smile. “That’s great. Good for you.”

And terrible for him. Game over.

“Yeah, we’ve got an awesome year ahead!” Jared rubbed his mittens together and bounced on his toes. “I’m so excited!”

“I could hardly tell last night,” Ethan deadpanned.

Jared flushed even redder. “Oh—oh. You… heard.”

Ethan chuckled at his sheepish look.

“I’m sorry,” Jared murmured. “We’ll try to, uh… keep it down.”

He didn’t sound confident at all.

Ethan shrugged, shifting awkwardly against the wall. “No problem. I’m happy for you. I’m a heavy sleeper anyway.”

Not true. At all.

Jared waved, then slipped out the door.

Ethan sighed and made his slow way to the kitchen, feet shuffling over the smooth floor. His bleeding heart mended at least a little when he spotted the stack of pancakes with salted butter and maple syrup waiting for him.

Well, there was only one respectable way to deal with heartbreak, he thought as he sat down and dragged the plate closer with his left hand.

He could forget Jared and his elusive boyfriend while savoring delicious pancakes.

At least for a little while.

And yes—he did have class this morning. So maybe he should hurry if he wanted to finish them all.

Life just wasn’t fair.

 

 

 

Let me know if you want me to expand this story!