"Close your eyes."
"Seriously?" Darren's smirk is half annoyed, half intrigued. "What's your plan? Trying to abduct me?" Snow is still melting from his cherry-red mittens, and his winter coat is zipped up tight against the cold outside. It's mid-January, and it hasn't stopped snowing for days.
"Got a surprise for you," Jay says, grinning. He just begged Darren inside, giving him a quick peck on the nose, too excited for a proper greeting. Darren's wheelchair hasn't made it much past the carpet in the entrance hall—the one Jay bought hoping it would soak up the snowy mud still clinging to Darren's wheels. It's only partly working, but right now he couldn't care less. "Please? It's important. You'll like it, promise." Jay stands in the hallway with his hands clasped behind his back, practically buzzing with energy as he refrains from jumping up and down.
Darren sighs. "Alright..." Obediently he closes his eyes, but the steep crease between his eyebrows remains, giving him an adorable grumpy-sleeping look. Jay watches it, transfixed, before shaking himself out of it.
"Thanks. Now, uh..." He didn't really think this through, Jay realizes. He can't pull Darren after him, and Darren can't steer the wheelchair blind. Plus, the hallway is much too narrow for them side by side. After some hesitation, Jay solves the problem by sitting on Darren's lap, causing Darren to flinch slightly at the unexpected contact, his legs jumping under Jay.
"Eyes closed!" Jay reminds him and takes over control of the chair before Darren can voice his protest.
Adding some scratches and dents to the apartment's walls, Jay manages to steer the wheelchair into the bedroom without major accidents. Steering left-handed is a pain, he realizes, and wonders, not for the first time, if Darren is left-handed.
"Tada!" Jay jumps off Darren's lap, who gives a morose grunt, though his lips are twitching.
"Am I allowed to open my eyes now?" Darren drawls, pushing with his left fist into the seat to sit straighter. "Or do you expect me to guess?"
"No, you can look," Jay allows generously, pointing to the bed as Darren blinks open his eyes.
"Um..." Darren stares, unimpressed, at the large, otherwise nondescript package with no particular extraordinary shape, perched on the mattress, then back at Jay. "What's that?"
"A present." Jay climbs on the bed to pull it closer. For its size, it's surprisingly lightweight.
Darren chuckles. "Didn't we just celebrate Christmas?" he asks. "These are great, by the way," he adds, referring to the mittens he's still wearing.
Jay beams, remembering how they'd exchanged presents on Christmas morning. Since learning about Darren's problems with the cold, he'd bought him mittens made of thin, insulating neoprene that would still allow for some feeling. The left one is fingerless, with a cover that can be pulled over if needed; the right one has no finger holes for easier handling. Jay had joked he'd give the other gloves, completing the pairs, to anyone with a disability mirroring Darren's. Darren had eyed the color critically, but when he'd managed to pull them over his hands—using his teeth for the left one—he'd seemed quite happy. Compared to these, he'd said, the Christmas sweater he'd gifted Jay was starting to look rather dull.
That wasn't the case at all, though. Jay loved the sweater, especially because when he decided to wear it straight away that morning, he realized that Darren's entire family, who'd gathered at the house for breakfast, was wearing silly Christmas sweaters as well. He hadn't been so thankful for a gift in ages.
"Open it?" Jay kneels next to the package, not waiting for an answer before starting to rip open the carton. He had wanted to do that since it arrived but held back so Darren could witness it too. Darren observes him, eyebrows raised, chuckling quietly at Jay's eagerness.
The contents fit snugly into the carton box, and Jay gets out of breath trying to pull them free.
Meanwhile, Darren has shed his thick winter clothes and places them on a nearby dresser. "Cushions?" he asks, shakily leaning over his armrest to prod one of the two flesh-colored packages that emerge, still tightly wrapped in plastic.
"Uh huh," Jay confirms, grinning now, and unceremoniously rips open the plastic. "Wait a bit, they'll need to decompress. And I bought covers too." He lifts two large, red floppy pieces of soft, velvety material.
"Huh."
Both watch as the cushions grow in size and start to resemble their final, wedge-like shape.
Something in Darren's gaze shifts as he observes the cushions. "I know what they are," he murmurs in a low voice, looking at Jay with hesitation in his eyes, his head wiggling slightly.
"Yeah?" Jay crawls over to the mattress's edge where Darren is parked and places his feet right and left of Darren's knees on the seat. He leans over to grab Darren's curled left hand and wrap it in his. "You like it?"
"These are expensive," Darren states, still guarded, his warm fingers spasming against Jay's.
Jay shrugs. "They're said to be worth it." He looks at Darren expectantly, his grin starting to feel strained the longer Darren remains silent. Did he go too far?
The cushions sit on the bed like two giant fleshy bricks fallen from the ceiling.
"Want to try?" Jay squeaks, squeezing Darren's hand to mush.
Darren's eyes are ablaze as he finally looks up at Jay and nods. "Hell yeah."
Jay exhales in a relieved rush.
His fingers trembling in anticipation, Jay pulls the covers over the cushions, which takes more time than expected because they fit very tightly. Darren transfers onto the bed after slipping out of his dry winter boots, watching Jay struggle with half a smile.
"Do you know how to position them?" Darren asks once Jay has finished transforming the cushions into velvety red wedges.
"Um..." Jay frantically looks around the rumpled bed, picking up the empty carton and throwing it off the mattress. "There was a sheet somewhere with instructions..." he says, frowning when he can't locate it.
Darren points to the larger cushion. "This is the base," he says calmly. "Place it near the headboard. And that one," he points to the smaller cushion, "goes in front of it, near the lower end."
"Oh." Of course Darren has used cushions like these before. Jay tries to breathe more evenly as he follows his boyfriend's instructions. "Alright." He positions the wedges aligned in a row, flipping the smaller one so it inclines toward the larger when Darren tells him to. Then he watches Darren move himself over with some difficulty until he rests against the larger one, and arranges his legs so the smaller supports his knees.
Darren's right arm rests over his stomach, fingers twitching slightly. "You ordered the large size," he murmurs as he wiggles back with his left fist against the mattress. His head remains cushioned while his legs seem comfortably placed.
Blushing, Jay rubs the back of his neck. "Yeah... Was that alright? I mean, you aren't exactly small, are you?"
"It's perfect," Darren grunts and jerks his head at Jay. "Come over here."
Heart rate picking up, Jay carefully straddles Darren on the cushions. Darren's upper body is elevated toward him, and he can feel Darren's legs in his back, quivering less than usual. "Does this work for you?" he asks.
Darren nods, his left hand groping for Jay's hips. "Excellent. Just..."
Jay freezes. "What is it?" he asks.
"I seem to remember the instructions saying you'd have to be naked," Darren says, a mischievous grin spreading across his face.
Laughing and lightly knocking a fist into Darren's shoulder, Jay scrambles off his boyfriend to wiggle out of his pants and hoodie. Then he helps Darren, who struggles with his clothes in the half-lying position. As Jay pulls the waistband over Darren's hips, he notices how easily Darren lifts them.
"Better..." Darren grins as Jay leans over him to kiss him, left hand coming up to rest on Jay's back. "Thanks," he murmurs between kisses, Jay nipping at his lower lip.
"Oh, I heard these pillows are incredibly versatile, so this isn't an entirely selfless gift," Jay retorts, kissing his way along Darren's jaw to his earlobe and back. He lightly caresses Darren's nipples with his fingers and sucks at his tongue until Darren shifts under him, deep moans vibrating in his chest. Jay leans back slightly, cupping Darren’s balls, about to wrap his hand around his hard cock.
Darren's hand closes around Jay's wrist with surprising strength. "Don't," he says, words coming with more effort already. "Change of plans. Off."
Jay moves aside, then watches as Darren pushes the smaller wedge further away and wiggles further down the larger wedge, until his hip rests on top of the smaller wedge's higher edge.
"You know how to prepare by now, don't you?" Darren asks, his breath quickened. "Have done it a few times."
Quickly, Jay nods. "Y-yeah. Definitely a few times." And then some.
"Good. Do me."
Jay stares at him, the words echoing in his mind, holding no meaning. "Really? Are you... are you serious?" He watches Darren's leg muscles twitch and his legs respond with some weak kicking.
"Wouldn't ask if I weren't," Darren says, his tone light but darkness creeping into his eyes. His right hand is a tight ball pressed against his chest.
"S-sure," Jay hurries to say. His hands tremble violently as he retrieves the bottle of lube. He doesn't even really know why he's so surprised—of course there's no reason why Darren wouldn't enjoy what Jay has come to love during the last weeks. And isn't it an enormous proof of his trust in Jay's abilities that he'd ask him to do this? It definitely is. But what if he messes up? How can Darren be so sure he's ready to apply what he learned to someone else, with no direct feedback whatsoever?
"Jay?"
Jay's head snaps around.
"You got this," Darren says calmly. He's only half-leaning on the larger wedge now, his head much lower than before. Still, his voice carries an authority that wraps around Jay like a calming blanket. "Come here."
Jay kneels in front of Darren, opening the bottle of lube as Darren instructs him to, and lubes up his fingers. Darren's slow voice is deep, grounding him.
"This will be different than if you do it for yourself," Darren says. "Easier, because you have better access and view. Always go slow and listen to what I tell you to do. It..." He hesitates. "It may take longer for me than it does for you because my muscle tone is higher. Got that?"
"Muscle tone," Jay repeats, not sure he understands. But he got the message—he'll be patient. "Okay, okay." Nodding frantically, Jay positions himself between Darren's legs. With Darren's hips elevated by the wedge, Jay realizes he actually has perfect access, something he struggled with himself when going solo.
"Good." Darren's voice snaps Jay out of it, and he stares at Darren, who is smiling encouragingly at him from his lower position. "Whenever you feel ready..."
The moment Jay's lubed-up fingertips start touching Darren, he hears his boyfriend suck in air, his legs jerking more violently.
"You okay?" Jay asks, pulling his hand away immediately. "I didn't do... What did I do?"
"You're good," Darren grunts, his breathing quickened, his face twisting with a spasm. "That's just... normal. Try again."
Darren's body seems to calm down as Jay's fingers draw circles around Darren's hole. Jay takes his other hand to give Darren's erection a languid stroke, making Darren shudder.
"Yeah, like that, perfect," Darren murmurs, and Jay feels a shower of sparks run down his back. "Slowly."
Jay's fingertip hovers for a second before lightly plunging in, just a fraction, feeling the resistance, the small, barely noticeable give.
"Good, really good," Darren says, his voice rough. He fights to keep his head oriented to watch Jay. "Remember..."
"I know," Jay whispers. "Don't worry."
"I'm not," Darren laughs shortly, the movement rippling through him until it reaches Jay's finger. Darren breathes through his nose, his whole body continuing to tremble slightly. "Feels really... incredible."
Smiling, Jay eases his finger in deeper, incredibly slow, hyper-alert to every sharp intake by Darren, any twitch of his muscles. He feels the ring of muscles around his fingertip spasming as well, something very different from his own experience.
It indeed takes a very long time and many breaks to help Darren adjust until Jay's finger is settled deep enough to wiggle around. Jay is drenched in sweat at that point despite not having moved much.
"Good?" Jay asks, slowly easing his finger in and out, experimentally crooking it.
Darren's head has fallen back, lips parted slightly, and he groans in answer. "Add another one," he mutters, barely audible.
And so Jay works until he has three fingers buried in Darren, who is panting heavily, his cock lying flaccid on his stomach.
"Tight?"
Darren nods, and they both stay like that, Jay remembering he has two hands and giving both himself and Darren some attention. He tries moving the fingers within Darren, crossing them, which usually serves to hit the right spot for himself, but it doesn't seem to have the same thrilling effect on Darren.
"That's good," Darren finally says, his hand closing around Jay's wrist once again, unevenly squeezing.
"You sure? I didn't..."
"Don't worry. Another time. I want you to fuck me," Darren says, the words slamming into Jay.
"W—what?" he stammers.
"Want your cock in me," Darren clarifies, his lips twitching into a smile. His grip tightens around Jay's wrist again, his hand trembling with the effort.
The bluntness of the words hits Jay like a jolt of electricity. His cheeks burn hot, his mouth opening and closing as he processes what Darren is saying. "I—are you sure? I mean, I don't know if—"
There's no reason why they can't switch things around. Still, Jay always assumed he'd be the one being fucked, without questioning it. But now the thought of his cock buried in Darren makes his mouth run dry and his pulse race; it's exhilarating and also scary.
Jay removes his fingers from within Darren, watching him mesmerized. His own cock is still hard between his legs, begging for attention, and he sucks in his breath as he lubes himself up, his cock jumping.
"So eager," Darren says, watching him through half-lidded eyes. "Love seeing you like that."
Blushing, Jay aligns himself with Darren, grabbing his knees. "Okay?" The moment the tip of his cock touches Darren's entrance, he thinks he'll keel over. It's different than with a woman. Tighter. Much tighter. And although he took a long time to prepare him and Jay is taking utmost care to go slow, Darren still hisses when Jay enters.
Jay stops to give Darren time to adjust, watching his face twitch, his eyes closed, a bead of sweat running down his forehead.
"Good," Darren rasps finally, and Jay, his thighs trembling, continues going further. He remembers one of their first sessions, when Darren told him to go slow, not to rush, to hold the climax off as long as possible to only make it more overwhelming when he finally allowed it. He feels like that now, only Darren doesn't have to remind him to go slow—he knows, and he'd never rush. Not with Darren.
When Darren nods, Jay moves further, burying himself as deep as possible, even though all his nerves scream at him to let go, to pound into Darren, to drive himself to completion. It'd only take seconds, he knows; he's on the edge already.
At Darren's grunt, Jay moves, slowly, watching Darren's face, his hands groping at nothing, his legs twitching slightly. He takes care, increases speed by a fraction each time, with Darren's moans growing louder. The drag on his screaming cock is delicious, Darren is tight and hot around him, and as expected, Jay soon finds himself within seconds of his orgasm.
"Darren, I..." Jay whimpers, his hips pushing forward demandingly, his control slipping rapidly. "I'm gonna... I'm gonna come."
It sounds like an apology, a warning, and it was meant as one, and when Darren opens his eyes and barely understandably mumbles, "Of course," a dam breaks within Jay and, sobbing, his hips rutting desperately, he spills into Darren.
Jay rides the waves of orgasm, gasping, his body jerking, until the tension gradually eases and he comes to. He finds himself collapsed forward, his soft cock slipped out of Darren, his hands braced against the larger cushion, only inches from Darren's lips. He kisses Darren, who moans brokenly, and once he's regained his breathing, Jay sits back on his heels, taking one hand to Darren's rock-hard cock, the other pushing into him with two fingers, making obscene squelching sounds. He's not sparing Darren, not now that he knows he's ready. Darren spasms, his hips pushing upward weakly, his legs trembling and jerking as he nears orgasm, and when he reaches it, his body practically seizes, a guttural groan punching from his chest. Jay works Darren's cock through it, not losing rhythm, feeling Darren's cum coating his knuckles and him spasming around the fingers inside. Only when Darren's head has fallen back onto the cushion, eyes closed, completely spent, does Jay ease his fingers off and slowly out, wiping them on the sheets.
Moving carefully, Jay eases the smaller wedge out from under Darren's hips and further down until it supports his knees again, then snuggles close to Darren, leaning his head on his heaving chest. "You don't have to say anything," Jay says, his voice rough, his lips dry. "But I assume we're keeping them?"
***
The two red wedges become a regular part of their lives, offering comfort even when they’re just watching a movie and—in a more intimate setting—opening up positions Jay had never imagined existed. Neither of them can imagine life without them anymore, but unfortunately, there is one drawback: they take up a lot of space. Usually Jay keeps them tucked away between his bed and the wall, but whenever Darren stays overnight, he has to move them into the living room to leave space for Darren to transfer. Not to mention having to answer questions about them whenever a guest sneaks a look into his bedroom. And when they stay at Darren's house, it's out of the question for Jay to bring the wedges with him on the train. Which adds to the already suboptimal situation at Darren's house, with his small bedroom and far less privacy.
As Jay moves the wedges to the living room one evening, balancing the larger one over his head—thankfully at least it isn't heavy—he catches Darren watching him.
"So," Jay says once he's finished. "All set now."
They stare at the wedges sitting on the couch for a moment.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Darren asks, his wheelchair whirring closer.
"That we shouldn't have eaten all the nachos? Then yes," Jay answers, but he chuckles slightly. Darren's hand twitches near his thigh and Jay turns his hand to clasp it.
"But what about the house?" Jay asks.
Darren shrugs, his fingers squeezing around Jay's palm. "My sister's already lining up. Now that they're three, they need more space."
"And what about..."
Darren looks at Jay, his face unreadable. "Julek finished his studies and is already preparing to leave for home, and Chelsea will find something. I don't know, maybe my sister rents the room to her—might be great to have someone there to take care of the baby once in a while." He exhales, throwing Jay a cautious look. "I'll figure something out, pay an assistant, something like that. I don't want you to have to help me like they did."
"But I don't mind helping you!" Jay interjects, squeezing Darren's hand as he kneels in front of him. "I can do what they did, can't I?"
"I know," Darren says. His knee jumps as Jay places his other hand on it. "But I don't want you to be my carer, remember? You can step in when my assistant isn't available, and that will be more times than you think, more than I like..." He breathes in and out, fighting a swirl of emotions Jay can't quite identify. "But I want you to be my boyfriend first, alright?"
Dazed, Jay nods, realizing how big a step Darren is taking. He's not only leaving a house with a functioning care system behind, and infrastructure that, while sometimes impractical, was working for him. He's also choosing a life on unknown terms, figuring out how much of his care he's willing to hand over to Jay as he goes.
"We'll do this together," Jay says. "You aren't alone in this."
Darren nods. "Yeah, I know. Thanks."
Their gazes return to the wedges on the couch.
"Weren't you a bit quick in removing them from the bed?" Darren asks, his hand jerking in Jay's grasp.
Scratching the back of his head, Jay chuckles. "Hmm. The couch can be expanded," he says and slides onto Darren's lap.
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