Not Gay - Table Of Contents

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4 
Chapter 5 
Chapter 6 
Chapter 7 
Chapter 8 
Chapter 9 
Chapter 10 
Chapter 11 
Chapter 12 
Chapter 13 
Chapter 14 
Chapter 15 
Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32 

Not Gay - Chapter 19

Jay’s car barely stays on track in the last turn but then all that’s left is the homestretch to the finish line and he pushes the button on the control down so hard that his fingertip starts hurting. His triumphant cry dies in his throat as Chris’ car hurdles past him and over the finish line, only a split second before Jay would have won the game.

Not Gay - Chapter 20

Everyone is trying to hug at the same time: the dancers in Jay’s team, friends and family of the dancers, managers of the club, and random visitors. With the blaring music in his ears and the weight of the medal pressing against his sweaty shirt, Jay manages to free himself from the crowd and jogs to the far side of the dance floor. Without hesitation he vaults lightly over the low barrier separating audience and dancers, and almost barrels right into Darren who parks in the designated wheelchair space in the front row, effectively trapped between barrier and tightly packed audience behind him. Darren’s smile makes way only shortly for a mildly surprised expression as Jay throws himself at him without a second thought about onlookers.

Not Gay - Chapter 21

It has been a brilliant idea to book a double room close to the competition hall with a late checkout option, even if most hotels had already been full at the time Jay thought of booking. Jay can’t help but congratulate himself as he stumbles in front of Darren through the door to their hotel room, barely able to hold his eyes open. The room offers a bed large enough for two to sleep in, Darren’s wheelchair seems to fit through the bottle neck between the entrance to the bathroom and the closet, and when the door falls shut behind them the room turns out to be quiet enough.

Not Gay - Chapter 22

Jay thinks he finally gets the hang of it. Of him and Darren being a couple. There’s a moment one night, as they are standing in line at the cinema, when Darren manages to grab Jay’s hand that is dangling at his side, and Jay almost jumps over the trash can behind them. But then he holds Darren’s left hand tighter, capturing the stiff fingers in his, and pretends his mind isn’t reeling. He tells himself he doesn’t notice people looking, more than they usually do when Darren is around.

Not Gay - Chapter 23

Weeks fly by, and eventually, Jay’s dance training resumes. Darren visits Jay most days after work, provided there’s no training session scheduled, and on weekends, Jay takes the train out of the city to Darren’s place. Darren never stays for the night during weekdays unless they mess up their schedule. Sometimes, if they get too wasted on a night out with the guys, the plastic bottle makes a reappearance. While Jay enjoys the long days and nights with Darren at Darren’s house, there is one downside: they are almost never alone there. One of Darren’s housemates may come in at any time, and more often than not, they stay specifically for Darren’s needs.

Not Gay - Chapter 24

Jay isn’t even that big a fan of cinema, and neither does he think Darren is. But somehow, they find themselves again and again in the red plush cinema chairs, as the lights dim around them and the large screen in front of them illuminates. They take turns choosing movies, Jay slowly but unabashedly revealing his love for sappy romance, while Darren steadfastly demands the same type of action flick over and over again.